Saturday, 28 September 2013

Mlevi aanzisha dhehebu la UFANISI


Baada ya kugundua siri ya utajiri wa kutisha wa baadhi ya mapatepeli wanaojiita watu wa Mungu, mlevi `nimesukuti’ sana.
Kwa vile mimi si tapeli (ni mtu wa Mungu) basi nitaanzisha dhehebu liitwalo Super Uncontaminated Clerical Congregation of Enligthened  and Saved Souls (SUCCESS) kwa `Kimakonde’ sema UFANISI (Ufufuko wa Nabii Aliyejuu Neema wa Isiyokwisha Salama na Idumuyo) ili kuwakomboa walevi wanaonyonywa na kuibiwa na matapeli.
`Wakameruni’ huita hii kitu ‘All Faiths Organized under One Leader’ (AFOOL).  Sina ubaguzi wa dini wala uduni uitwao udini. Nafanya hivyo ili kuhudumia watu wa dini zote.
Hili ni dhehebu la uhakika.  Si kama yale ya akina Life Changer International yaliyokuwa yakiendeshwa na matapeli wa ki-Nigeria kabla ya kugundulika kuwa kumbe ni wahamiaji haramu waliokimbia njaa kwao na wengine kesi mahakamani.
Ingawa iliitwa Life Changer International maana yake ni Life Ruiner Intentional. Hata na wachovu wetu wamezidi. Yaani mnatapeliwa kama hamna akili!
Badala ya kuchapa kazi kwa bidii mnaendekeza ushirikina. Mtaliwa na mtakwisha hata kama mmezoea kuliwa. Matapeli wa kisiasa wanawatapeli. Matapelil wa kidini wanawatapeli.
Kwanini msitapeliwe au muache uvivu wa kufikiri? Je, serikali nayo inayosajili huu upuuzi tuiweke kapu gani? Kwangu ni rahisi kukubaliwa. Kwanza natokea Ukanadani siyo nchi maskini kama hawa matapeli.
Kwa vile huku Ukanadani nimepigikia, basi njia ya kujipatia `fweza’ ni kurejea `Bongolalaland’ na kutengeneza ukwasi kwa jina la Mungu. Lazima nije kupambana na matapeli waliojaa roho mtakakitu kwa roho Mtakatifu.
Nitahubiri kwa kiingereza kiswahili na kiarabu ili kuwavutia wote. Lazima nitafanikiwa `kuukata’ haraka kama jamaa ambao wengi ni `vihiyo’ na walikuwa apeche alolo sasa wanaishi kwenye mahekalu.
I will be working under Holy Ghost but not working under gory ghost like them.
Nina PhD za Saikolojia na Maandika Matakatifu (Psychology and Sacred Writings) nilizopata kwenye Chuo Kikuu cha Guelph---kile kilichompa shahada ya `dezo’ Rahisi wenu hivi karibuni, na Chuo kikuu cha Al Azhar huko Masri. Hivyo mambo yangu yatakuwa mswano within no time.
Nitahubiri utajirisho miujiza na uponyaji kwa wote bila kujali dhambi zao. Vyangudoa wataombewa wapate wateja. Nitafanya miujiza kiasi cha `ndata’ wanaowasakama wageuke wateja wao.
Nitaponya hata kwa kugusa picha yangu au kusikiliza kanda niliyorekodi sauti yangu. Onyo, maombi na uponyaji wangu vitafanya kazi kwa wenye imani nami tu. 
Hivyo, njoo ufaidi miujiza utapona kwa kusoma machapisho yangu, uhitaji kwenda Mwanyamala au Muhimbili kutolewa upepo na madaktari feki waliotamaliki kaya nzima.
Kwa vile dini yangu ni ya kweli na wote, sitatumia magazeti wala runinga kutangaza mahubiri yangu kama wanavyofanya wale wafanyabiashara wa roho za wajinga na makapuku waliokata tamaa kiasi cha kutapeliwa kirahisi.
Watapeliwa nawashauri wasikilizie ujumbe wa Profwesa Anna Kajuamlo Tiba ya Ijuka, aliyewaambia akina mama waliotapeliwa kwa jina lake kuwa wanapenda kutapeliwa. Kuweni wajanja. Njoo kwangu.  Msikubali kutapeliwa na wezi waliojificha kwenye dini.
Kama alivyosema Yesu kwenye Matayo 7:15-16, hao ni fisi waliovaa ngozi ya kondoo. Pia someni tena kwa makini Matayo 24:3-5 isemayo kuwa watakuja wengi kwa jina langu na kupoteza wengi.
Kwa wanasiasa ukitaka uongozi njoo kwangu utashinda uchaguzi bila kuhangaika na kutoa takrima, kujikomba kwenye chama chako wala kupiga kampeni. Hata hao wanasiasa waliofanikiwa walikuja kwangu na mambo yao yakanyooka hata kama hawasemi kwa kuogopa kumwamsha aliyelala wakalala wao.
Makapuku, ukitaka utajiri jua umefika huna haja ya kuua mazeruzeru, kutakiwa ulete ndevu za bibi wa bibi wa bibi wa babu yako na kubaka watoto wala kutembea na waganga wa kienyeji kwa akina mama.
Wanandoa au waliokuwa wanandoa wakapigwa karata, ndoa yako imevurugika njoo hasa akina mama ulale kwangu siku saba ndoa yako itanyooka.
Wale wanaosaka uzazi na watoto, umeshindwa kushika mimba? Njoo nikufanyie dawa upate mtoto. Je una tatizo la kupata mchumba?  Dada njoo ulale kwangu kwa siku 14 utapata mchumba tena mwenye pesa.
Kama unataka kushinda mtihani bila kusoma wala kupoteza muda kwenye shule za kata we njoo kwangu mambo yako yatanyoka. Je, unasumbuliwa na majini? Dua zote ziko kwangu. Naongea na majini na kula na kunywa nayo.
Je, unataka kumsomea mbaya wako albadir? We njoo tu shida yako itageuka historia.Tuache utani. Dhehebu langu ni kiboko ya matatizo. Siyo kama yale madhehebu ya watu wenye majina ya ajabu ajabu kama vile Rwakatarehe, Gamanyua. Ka-tortoise, Mwaka wa Senger, Lusekelelo na matapeli wengine wengi wanaosukumwa na uroho mtakakitu wanaosaka utajiri.
Nina uwezo wa kuombea hata uchumi wa kaya ukawa mswano kama ule wa China. Hivyo, rahisi na waziri wa `njuluku’ waje kwangu wapige goti nitaombea uchumi na kila mtu atapata maisha bora.
Mimi ni tofauti na wale wanaoanzisha vijidhehebu uchwara halafu wakataka kujipatia umaarufu kwa kudai wanaombea amani kayani na upuuzi mwingine.
Wengine wanatunga nyimbo za kusifu chama tawala na viongozi wake ili wawe karibu na ufisadi watajirike. Mie ni tofauti kabisa ingawa msitu ni ule ule lakini nyani tofauti.
Nafanya miujiza ya kweli na si mauzauza kama ya wale wanaojaza viwanja vya Jangwani na kuondoka na mshiko. Kwa wale wote waliovuruga na kubomoa ndoa zenu kwa midomo na mikono yenu na tabia chafu, waliokata tamaa za maisha, wenye tamaa za kuukata njoo kwangu yote yatakuwa historia.
Chunga usiingizwe mkenge. Naona mama mchungaji anakuja. Acha niishie nisijevuruga ndoa yangu nikaanza kutapeliwa kama hawa ‘ninaowaombea.’ wahenga walisema:
Wajinga ndiyo waliwao na mwalimu wangu usinibaini nikipata kumi tano zako. Wenye macho na wajionee. Wenye masikio na wasikie na wenye akili na watafakari. Mambo yakiendelea hivi mtajikuta mateka wa matepeli kaya nzima. Tasfsirini sura hii tukufu: Inna a'taynaka al-kawthar, Fa-salli li-Rabbika wanhar, Inna shaani-aka huwal abtar.

Chanzo: Nipashe Sept., 28, 2013.

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Hii imekaa vipi?

Westgate terror attack: who ashamed who?



After terror attack carried out by Al-Shabaab affiliated militants on Westgate Mall, President Uhuru Kenyatta was recently quoted as saying, "We have ashamed and defeated our attackers." Really? Looking at how confused and disoriented Kenyan Security Forces were, I doubt if at all, Kenya, especially the authority, shamed the attackers.  Maybe the word ashamed has another new meaning.
How could Kenya “shame” the attackers as Kenyatta lightly put it while it took long time for national security organs to chip in? How did Kenya “shame” attackers while she did not take any precautionary measures especially working on security tips from NIC’s branch in Mombasa? Where were Kenyan security organs and why did they act and performed unprofessionally? These are, among others, the questions Kenyans are asking. Did Kenya ashame the attacker while up till now the number of victims is not clearly known?
Despite all brouhaha and chest beating, Kenya still has a lot to learn and explain. The big and important lesson from Kenya’s terror attack is that, our governments are sleeping on the wheels as Deputy President William Ruto put it.  Ruto said that NIC needs to be overhauled due to the fact that security forces are wasting resources and time on chasing touts and food vendors in lieu of dealing with national security. The situation is the same in Rwanda, Tanzania and Uganda where security organs are used by politicians especially ruling cabals to protect them instead of protecting the nation. In Tanzania, for example, national security organs are abusively used by the ruling Chama Cha Mapinduzi (CCM) to intimidate, sabotage and frustrate opposition.  Refer to how TISS was involved in the torturing of Dr. Stephen Ulimboka, and Abaslom Kibanda not to mention regular police brutality and murder of innocent people such as Daud Mwangosi.
The situation is surreal in Uganda where much money is spent on presidential guards as opposed to being spent on Uganda Defence Force. Opponents like Noble Mayombo and General James Kazini died mysteriously. Despite the duo being President Yoweri Museveni’s close friends and compatriots, Uganda security organs have nary divulged what actually killed them. Arguably, Kenya was caught off guard. The government needs to admit this and move ahead. It needs to tell Kenyans why it failed them. It needs to bring about changes but not shoptalk.
Again, when it comes to Westgate terror attack who ashamed who?

Kijiwe chalaani uhuni Mjengoni



HAKUNA kitu kimewafanya wanakijiwe kuchukia kama kushuhudia ujinga unaofanywa na Jobless Nduguy Mjengoni. Kwa vile analala kitanda kimoja na Chama Cha Machakachuaji, basi anadhani kila mtu aweza kujirahisi kama yeye. Uchakachuaji wa katiba ni uchangudoa wa kimaadili unaopaswa kupigwa vita.
Kapende leo kawahi kijiweni. Ana ajenda muhimu ambayo angependa ijadiliwe kiundani na utuo. Ametungoja ili tuanze kufanyia kazi kadhia inayofanywa na watu wasiosoma alama za nyakati.
Analianzisha: “Waheshimiwa wajumbe, nini mawazo yenu kuhusiana na hii hujuma ya wazi dhidi ya katiba?”
Mpemba anakuwa wa kwanza kutia guu. “Mie nshangaa sana hasa huyu Njaa Kaya. Alipoanzisha nchakato wa katiba mpya alianza uzuri. Ila kama atasaini huu upuuzi uliopitishwa na vipofu wasiosoma alama za nyakati ajue hakutakalika.”
Mgosi Machungi anakatua mic. “Kama Njaa Kaya ataamua kujivua nguo hiyo shaui yake. Kwani hakuna aliyemlazimisha kuanzisha mchakato.  Isitoshe kwanini atumie njuuku zetu kufanyia usanii kama atakubali kusaini upuuzi?”
Kapende anazidi kuonyesha wasiwasi wake. “Mie sina imani na yeyote hadi tupate kitu kipya kinachoendana na matakwa yetu. Maana kisheria katiba ni mkataba kati ya watawaliwa na watawala na si utashi wa chama chochote hata kiwe na madaraka namna gani.”
Mzee Kidevu anamkonyeza mzee Maneno kwa jinsi Kapenda anavyojitia kujua sheria.
Mipawa hajivungi. “Beng’we, usemayo ni kweli. Tusiamini mtu hadi tuonage katiba mpya. Huwezi kujua. Huenda jamaa alitaka kupata sifa kama Beni Nkapa aliyeanzishaga Tume ya Waliboa halafu akaiua baada ya kumgusa pabaya. Umesahau wasanii wetu siyo?”
“Hata mimi siwaamini hawa jamaa. Maana nikikumbuka jamaa alivyotuingiza mkenge akidai ana majina ya wauza bwimbwi halafu akaishia kuwagwaya sina hamu,” anachomekea mzee Kidevu.
Msomi Mkatatamaa hajivungi. “Wasemaji wote mna hoja hasa wakati huu tunapoburuzwa na kutawaliwa na wababaishaji na vigeugeu. Hamkumsikia jamaa akijitapa kuwa kwa sasa watapambana na wauza unga? Je, kwa miaka nane yote walikuwa wapi kama si kutaka kutugeuza mabunga?”
“Jamaa kipindi hiki kweli atapambana na wauza unga kwa kutowasaidia wakikamatwa ughaibuni. Anajua fika kuwa hawatakamatwa kayani kwa vile wanajuana,” anaongezea Mzee Maneno.
Baada ya kukatua kashata lake Mpemba anaamua kutia guu tena. “Yakhe mie hawa watu sina imani nao pia. Hivi huyu jamaa anayejisifia kila siku haoni mtu wake Jobless Nduguy anavyonajisi na kubaka Njengo alo geuza kuwa genge la wahuni?”
“Unaongelea huyu aliyewatukana wenzake kuwa wanavuta bangi na kubwia mibwimbwi? Sijui kama havuti alijuaje wenzake? Mwenzenu napanga siku moja timtokee Mjengoni timzabe vibao. Kwani Mjengo ni wa familia yake? Jitu limeshindwa kulhali. Linaongoza jimbo lenye wachovu kuliko wote kayani bado linajitia ubabe. Kama mbabe si akapambane na matatizo jimboni mwake,” anaongea mgosi Machungi kwa hasira. Kijiwe hakina mbavu jinsi anavyoongea kwa usongo.
“Si matusi tukisema Mjengo umeingiliwa na mdudu mbaya anayeunyevuanyevua.  Unavyoendeshwa utadhani baa. Jobless anakuja na hili huku Makidamakida akija na lile. Umefilisika. Si Mjengo ule tuliozoea wa viwango tena,” anachomekea Mijjinga.
“Mlitegemea nini baada ya kusimikwa Makidamakida ili kunusuru mafisadi?” Anazoza Kapende ambaye leo amechukua tuzo ya kumwaga mipwenti.
Kanji aliyekuwa akinong’ona na Bi Sofi Lion anaamua naye kutia guu. Anasema: ”Hii Dugai mimi jua yeye. Hapana kosa. Kama Bunge naenda piga kelele tatoa nje yeye.”
Bi. Sofi anampa tafu mara moja, “Mnamuonea mheshimiwa bure. Hivi mlidhani angeruhusu wahuni kufanya bungeni mahali pa kufanyia rap?”
“Kumbe Kanji na Jobless lenu moja!  Kama unaongelea Mista Two umemuonea. Yeye si bwege wa kutumikia chama badala ya kaya. Alichofanya walipaswa kufanya wenzake wote ili kulinda heshima ya wachovu.”
Msomi aliyekuwa akiandika ujumbe mfupi kwenye simu yake anaamua kurejea tena. “Hii ndiyo hasara ya kubambikiwa kanyaboya. Kwani hatujui kuwa mzee wa viwango, Sam Sixx aliondolewa ili kuruhusu tunachoshuhudia. Wasioeleweka wanapewa mamlaka ya kusimamia taasisi nyeti kama Mjengo? Nashauri mwakani tujiunge pamoja na kuhamasishana kuhakikisha wote waliounga mkono huu uhuni wapigwe chini wajue kaya si mali ya mama zao wala chama chao.”
“Hata Sam Sixx ni fisadi tu. Hamkuonaga alivyopewaga zawadi ya ulaji na kutelekeza kaya hasa pale walipokubalianaga na Mwakiwembe na Matomatoes wachukue ulaji na kumnusuru Njaa Kaya kwenye soo ya Richmonduli?” Anapayuka Mipawa.
Kapende anaamua kumjibu Bi Sofi kinamna. Anakwanyua mic. “Hivi yule bi mkubwa wa kucheza Makidamakida ashaolewa au ni open check?  Inakuwaje tunawaweka watu kama hawa kwenye nafasi nyeti kama hizi?”
Bi Sofi kapata meseji yake. Anauliza kwa hasira akimkazia macho Kapende. “Hivi mtu akioa au kuolewa wewe yakuhusu nini?”
Kanji naye anaamua kumuunga mkono kada mwenzake. “Kama oa muhimu kwani vatu nyingine naoa au olewa nazini?”
“Wanazini kama wewe siyo?” Anachomekea Mbwa Mwitu.
“Mimi pana zini dugu yangu.” Kanji anajitetea.
Msomi anaamua kurejea kuokoa jahazi. “Kanji uzini usizini hiyo shauri yako. Muhimu hapa ni kujadili jinsi ya kunusuru kaya yetu toka kwenye mikono michafu ya wahuni. La muhimu kijiwe kimwandikie barua Njaa Kaya kumshauri asikubali kugeuzwa bozi na wahuni kusaini mswaada uliochakachuliwa. Nadhani ule wa kwanza aliosaini unatosha na lazima atakuwa amejifunza. Awapuuzie akina Chikwawe wanaobembeleza ulaji chamani mwao.”
“Yakhe usemayo kweli. Badala ya kulalamika lazima tufanye kitu lau dunia ijue. Napendekeza tuandamane kwenda Mjengoni kushinikiza Jobless na  Makidamakida watimuliwe.” Mpemba anachagiza.
“Nendeni mpigwe na kutimuliwa kama mbwa koko. Kama wamepigwa wakubwa zenu itakuwa nyinyi?”  Anafoka Bi Sofi huku akiwakazia macho Kapende na Mijjinga.
“Huyu kanunga hawezi kutuchokoza na kutudhalilisha hivi. Sasa nasema tuanze safari ya kuelekea mjengoni tuwaonyeshege tulivyo vidume.” Anapayuka Mijjinga kwa hasira.
Kijiwe kikiwa ndiyo kinanoga si tukalianzisha kuelekea Dom kwenda kuwalaani Jobless na Makidamakida na kutaka waondoke Mjengoni. 
Chanzo:Tanzania Daima Sept., 25, 2013.

Saturday, 21 September 2013

Mlevi akataa PhD watasha vinywa wazi


Wiki iliyopita ilikuwa ya zali.  Chuo kimoja hapa Ukandani kilijipendekeza kwangu na kutaka kunipa PhD. Chuo hiki kilitumiwa na wabaya wangu waliotaka niwasukie ulaji kwenye shamba la bibi.
Hivyo, kiliamua kutumia ujanja wa kunipa PhD ili kiniingize mkenge niwauze walevi.
Baada ya kugundua janja yao niliwaambia wazi kuwa `sishobokei’ PhD. Niliwapa `laivu’ kuwa mimi si `kihiyo’, wala mpenda sifa kama yule. Inashangaza sana kuona mtu anapewa PhD wakati anafanya `madudu’ kwenye kaya ya walevi.
Kama kungekuwa na PhD ya Mismanagement of the hunk, basi ingemfaa. Mie si wa hovyo hivyo kuhongwa udohoudoho kama PhD na suti.
Huwezi kuharibu elimu halafu ukapewa PhD ikawa na maana. Kama kungekuwa na PhD za Mismanagement of Resources and Education, basi ingewafaa wale wote waliobaka elimu kiasi cha kughushi na kununua shahada kuwa the order of the day.
Kwani hawapo? Kwani hamuwajui. Leo nina hasira sana hasa wakati huu ninapovililia vitegemezi vya walevi vilivyotapeliwa kwa kujazwa ujinga badala ya elimu.
Anayebisha aende pale kwenye chuo cha Manzese ajionee mwenyewe jinsi wanaoitwa wanachuo wanavyofanya mambo ya kipuuzi. Imefikia mahali vitegemezi vyetu vimegeuka vyagudoa huku vikinunua hata majibu kama ilivyofichuliwa kule kwenye kaya ya Nyayo ya Uindependence Kinyatta.
`Watasha’ wakiwa wamejiandaa kunikaanga kwa kunizawadia makaratasi ili nifanikishe `dili’ la kuwauza walevi, walipigwa na mstuko nilipoingia na gunia la shahada za kweli, tena zilishokwishaota ukungu, nilizozipata kabla ya kuanza ulevi na uvutaji bangi.
Walishangaa kuona nina PhD in Elightenment, Management, Philosophy, Cosmology, Astrophysics, Finance, Boozing na `madude’ mengine yenye majina magumu. Walishangaa kuona mlevi nina busara kama mzee Mchonga.
Kitu kilichowaumiza vichwa ni kudai kuwa siwezi kukubali kupewa shahada bila kuangusha dissertation. Walikaribia kupata kichaa nilipowapa link ya dissertation yangu iliyovunja rekodi kwenye dissertation zangu nyingi iitwayo Decolonizing the whole, mind, soul, body and Consciousness.
Kitu kingine kilichowapagawisha ni kuonyesha tabu la dissertation yangu ya How to do away from begging and globetrotting and the whole nitty gritty of spending wisely.
Katika kitu hiki hatari na cha kisomi nilitoa hoja kuwa ili kuendelea, lazima uendelee kimaadili kwanza. Ujue hesabu rahisi kuwa huwezi kujenga uchumi wa kaya yako kwa kutegemea `kubomu’ na kuzurura ambapo unatumia `njuluku’ nyingi kuliko `unazobomu’.
Mkuu wa chuo, sitakitaja kwa sababu za kiusalama, alitoa mpya aliposema kuwa chuo chake kilitaka kunitunuku PhD kwa vile huwa naandika mambo ya kufikirisha.
Alinivunja mbavu aliposema kuwa walikuwa na mpango wa kunipa PhD nyingine kwenye jiografia kwa vile ninashika rekodi ya kuizunguka dunia kama akina Olusheiguni Oba Sanjo, Jake Zuma, Jake Kiquette na Yowe M7.
Kwa vile nilishagundua janja yake, nilimwambia kuwa kama kuzurura ni `dili’ basi hiyo PhD wawape kunguru ambao huruka toka India hadi Uswazi na kufanya unyani wao.
Niliwapa wazi kuwa mimi si Vasco da Gama wala Barthromeo Diaz, Mungo Park, Ferdnand Magellan na majambazi wengine walioleta ukoloni Afrika.
Watasha walidhani mie mshamba na limbukeni wa `kushobokea ujiko’ wa shilingi mbili. Walidhani nikiitwa Porofwesa Dk Dk Dk Dk Mlevi Orijinal nitajiona `dili’ wakati ni aibu.
Najua kuna walevi hawana raha kwa kukosa kuitwa Daktari hata kama udaktari wenyewe ni wa `kuchonga’. Kuna kipindi huwa nashangaa jinsi ambavyo mlevi anaweza hata kughushi hata kununua PhD ili naye aonekane msomi.
Kwa vile wengi hawana ndururu wala maulaji huamua kujiingiza kwenye jinai ili wapate ujiko.
Hata hivyo, kuna njia rahisi ya kupata PhD kwa wale `wanaozishobokea’.Ukitaka kupata kitu hii hakikisha unapata urais hata kama ni wa vibaka. Vyuo vikubwa vitatumia cheo chako na kukupa kitu hii ili vikamilishe `dili’ zao.
Kwa vile natokea kwenye kaya yenye madini na `dili’ kibao, vyuo viliweka mitandao yao vikitumia wapambe wangu wakaongea nami niingizwe `mkenge’ wanufaike na ulabu wa walevi.
Walikosea kudhani PhD ingenihamasisha sana kiasi cha kuanza kupanga mikakati kuhakikisha na Bi Mkubwa wangu anapata kitu hii, ili wote tuitwe madaktari.
Kwa vile wapo madaktari wa kughushi na wa kienyeji, baada ya kugundua janga hilli, napanga kupiga marufuku walevi wote kuacha kutumia udaktari wao wa mbao.
Walidhani kwa vile chuo kilichotaka kunipa PhD kinatambulika, tena cha kaya iliyoendelea, basi ningejiona `dili’ wasijue mie si mpenzi wa makuu. Kuna kipindi vyuo fulani vya uchochoroni vilitaka kuniingiza mjini kama vilivyomfanya jamaa yangu mmoja ambaye sitamtaja leo.
Niligutuka kwa vile mimi si mtu wa kupewa shahada na vyuo vya uchochoroni ambavyo huviona kama vyoo vikuu badala ya vyuo.
Mfano, inakuwaje chuo ambacho hakina hata ithibati ya kutoa shahada ya pili yaani kwa `kimakonde’ Masters, kimpe mtu PhD? Mie si juha bwana. Haya `madudu’ nayajua hata kama ni mlevi na mvuta bangi.

Hata hivyo, kuna walevi wenye akili walionionya kuwa sina haki ya kuitwa daktari, kama udaktari wenyewe ni wa heshima. Wapo waliotaka kunigeuza juha kwa kusema eti udaktari wa heshima ni more original and real than yule wa darasani. 
Wajinga wakubwa. Eti walisema kuwa siku hizi kama akili yako inachemka huna haja ya kwenda kupoteza muda darasani kusomea PhD. Utasomeaje kitu ambacho unacho naturally?
Hivyo watasha walinipa mafuta kwa mgongo wa chupa kuwa wanafahamu kuwa mimi nina akili kuliko wale waliopoteza muda kusomea PhD zao.
Hata hivyo, wapo wanaosema kuwa ukiangalia wasomi wengi wenye PhD, `madudu’ wanayofanya unashindwa kuelewa ni kwanini watu wanakandia PhD za heshima.
Hebu tujikumbushe historia. Hivi madaktari kama Daudiii Balaliii aliyeingizwa `mkenge’ na vihiyo kama Roast Tamu la Aziz ni msomi kweli? Hivi Daktari kama Idd Iliisha Rashid aliyeiba `njuluku’ na kuzificha Uswisi sambamba na Endelea Chenga ni daktari wa kweli au vibaka waliopewa PhD baada ya kuibia mitihani darasani?
Sijui kama Daktari Mgimua anayetuletea mahesabu na takwimu za uongo kila siku anastahili kuheshimiwa kuwa ni daktari.
PhD waliyotaka kunipa ni sawa na zile za vichochoroni kama za akina mchunaji Gettie Rwakatarehe kibaka anayesifika kuiba ardhi. Hivi ubomoaji wa mjengo wake aliojenga kinyume cha sheria umeishia wapi?

Chanzo: Nipashe  Sept., 21, 2013.

Friday, 20 September 2013

IT ISN'T NEPOTISM, IT'S OUR TURN TO EAT!

MANY with jealousy especially those that regard themselves older than others are now schmoozing that we’re eating and our rule is bogus, archaic and is made of corrupt friends. Yes; we’re eating. This is what we’re elected for. They’re saying we’re corrupt. Well, are they clean? Being corrupt is nothing new and won’t change our deportment. Let me tell you, guys. Whether you like it or not, we’ll rule as we please. So too we’ll nary listen to any nonsensical rumpus. We know. Those who lament, when they’re in 'ulaji,' didn't save for the future. Freddie Sumaye, are you there? When you were in power with Benny, you goofed for not allowing your clan to prepare themselves to take over after you, especially, in the establishment. Is this our fault sir? Joint smokers have jealousy for our yum-yum. Saying we’re ruling 'kishikaji;' and malingering is not a big deal. We won’t cave in or meddle. Tongue wagers are telling Boozers that they’re living in fear and angst not to mention dejection. This is ridiculous. Don’t you see how we brought about some changes? 'Mtaji wa maskini,' the capital of a politician is nothing but his voters; his investment is in public businesses and offices. This, too, applies to his family. Power must always be a family affair-cum-biz. If a wife can share the bed with husband why not share power? This justifies everything. If the son or daughter can use the name of the father, why not use his power too? True, we who are in power feel none of what you guys feel. We enjoy all goodies. You, too, enjoy all ‘goodies’ we promised. We enjoy the company of the fanfares of power. We seek wealth even by sitting on your shoulders. This is what forced us to vie for 'ulaji.' We promised better life for ‘all’ of us,not all of you! Sadly, when we said this, you didn't get it. You goofed thinking we meant life for all of you in lieu of all of 'us!' We didn't reach here without giving you 'takrima.' Remember? Most of those complaining are the ones who ate our money and accepted other trinkets. What’s wrong for us to reimburse ourselves through ten per cent on public deals? Actually, when we enjoy, you, do, too. We’re now in Canaan on your behalf. And that’s why donors entrust us with money to spend on your behalf. What’s good for us is good for you, too. The happiness and comfy of your president is yours, too. He and his family 'eat' on your behalf! Importantly, your leaders will do whatever possible to ensure they enjoy on your behalf. Whoever stands in their way will be standing in yours. We’ll send him to the gallows! Opponents complain that things aren't just as they were during 'Mchonga' times. Forget about Mchonga whose philosophy we butchered in Zenjbar. He wanted to build a society of angels, little knowing he‘s surrounded by devils! We've a different mission from that of Mchonga's: to ensure that all of 'us' benefit from our election promises of better life for all of 'us!' That's why our friends and partners falsely accused of corruption won’t be brought to book. This will defeat our mission and deprive them the chance to enjoy the 'cake' they love so dearly. This is our turn to eat. Those left out should wait for their turn. So, those accusing us of bad things, especially our ruling party, should stop immediately. Their turn will come. Folks, especially elders yelling at us, please shut up or put up. This is Bongo where everybody minds his or her biz. To get it better, read the book 'The Rich Get Richer, and the Poor go to Prison!' Today’s wisdom is: when cornered, a vulture cries 'wolf' to get away with it! 
Source:  The Business Times Sept., 20, 2012.

Hongera Kikwete kukabili mihadarati




Rais Jakaya Kikwete alikaririwa kuwa atapamba sorry atapambana na biashara ya mihadarati. Kwa mbinu ya Kikwete kula na kunywa na mateja huku akikalia majina ya wauza unga sijui nani anamdanganya nani? Kazi kweli kweli kama mbinu yenyewe ya kupambana na vita ni hii. Kwa habari zaidi BONYEZA HAPA.

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

TANZANIA: THE ‘GOODIES’ OF THE NEW DRAFT CONSTITUTION

INDEED, I was in a real cocktail party phenomenon as I mused about the goodies of Tanzania's new draft Constitution. I was over-delighted to note that things are moving. Unexpectedly though, who knew that our demigod president would be pruned of his discretionary powers? Is doing so a big deal, or we are making a big deal out of nothing? To boozers, the draft Constitution is a big deal however paradoxical it may seem. We’re going to have three presidents, three first ladies and three NGOs of every hankypanky in the name of minting and printing money? I’m trying to imagine myself going to get kanywaji in the streets of Bongo. What will happen, say, three presidents, three vice presidents, three premiers, three first ladies and six wives of PMs and VPs separately going to Sabasaba trade fair? How many hours I’m to spend pointlessly in traffic jams? What a wonderful world for them but worse for us earthlings! Again, some shrewd guys call this devolution of power which means destruction of dosh for a poor taxpayer of this over-exploited hunk. 'Ulaji ndani ya ulaji!' How many shangingis are going to be purchased to transport the high and mighty? Who’ll foot this diabolic bill? Is this the way forward or the way backward? Why don’t we truly unite and form a single country with a single government if we really mean to do well to ourselves and the future of our kids? Who bewitched us? Are our people going to offer themselves once again for being exploited maximally? Time will surely tell and judge. Will our new presidents globe-trot just like it is now when president spends a half of his tenure in office traveling? How much will the spouses of the biggies scoop in their shopping trips abroad not to mention per diem? Don’t get me wrong. I see things happening everyday. I see our top dogs always accompanied by their spouses almost wherever they go. I see all unwanted members of their big entourages abroad. It is a booming biz. The other day I was planning to move to Masaki or Mikocheni. After reading the new draft Constitution, I aborted my plans. Who wants to spend half of his life in traffic queues? Just imagine. What will happen in the morning and evening when six top guns go to and come from work? What of their wives’ unregulated trips to and from the city? What of their security details? What of their vitegemezi? If I were president, I’d not need such heavy security detail. If, indeed, our leaders are godly people, why do they fear the people they rule? Of course, if you’re a president who tells his people lies, then beware. You need to be ensconced amidst many bodyguards thanks to the pent-up anger people have with you. To avoid all this mess, just do the right thing: deliver on promises you made during election campaigns. Make sure you tell your voters the truth always! And, never, never allow your presidency to be a family biz! Many presidents and their spouses usually wreak havoc on their people. And, have you ever thought that, if you allow utitiri of governments, you’ll end up poorer and poorer? Also, ask yourself how you’re going to benefit from this abracadabra stuff. As you frown at queues on our roads, don’t be fooled that this is a sign of economic growth!
Source:Business Times Sept.,18, 2013.