Sunday, 20 December 2015

I propose the magufulification of the new constitution

  • Nimepata muda wa kukaa na Dk. John Magufuli, kwa nyakati mbalimbali ...
                 After evidencing the charade of enacting a new constitution for the hunk that was carried out by the former nihilistic regime, it is time to propose the magufulication of the same.  After Umoja wa Katiba ya Walevi (UKAUA) wantonly turned itself into Umoja wa Kumsimika Luwassa (UKULO) all hopes of having a brand new constitution were dashed. For those who don’t know what magufulification is, it is a chemical and political process of purifying something so as to bring it to the tune of what it once was.  Currently, Bongolalaland is being magufulified so as to reach the tune it was in under mzee Mchonga. Boozers are now convinced with Dr Kanywaji Magufuli so much so that they want magufuli to become a verb but not a name anymore. Boozers are not the first to attempt to commute a noun into the verb. Brazilians are now haggling about changing Paulo Freire to a verb as a way of honouring the iconic Brazilian who changed the world of the oppressed by propounding the philosophy of enabling them to create their own world view based on their literacy. His iconic book, The Pedagogy of the Oppressed has since become another bible for emancipation in the world.
            After drinking a mugful of Magufuli –especially after suffering from many stinking corrupt regimes, they think this is time for true change that'll propel their hunk to prosperity, accountability, equality, justice and development. The boozer was in one neighbouring hunk just recently. Everybody was calling on their presidents to magufulify their systems especially after noticing that the magufulification has awaken a slept giant of the region so as to reclaim its lost glory after suffering from long-time vainglory under dirty and corrupt rulers. For instance, they wanted their presidents to cancel their Independence Days so that boozers there could sweep their streets, institutions and above all their hunks. I learnt that even in the hunk where their rulers are renowned for clinging unto power, are now feeling the heat. Those who used to laugh at Bongolalaland as a No Man’s Land are shocked especially after Dr Kanywaji took on the netherworld of economic sharks among which one wanted to own even our beaches. The hunks that used to laugh at us by even abusing our rulers are now shocked.  What I like about Dr Kanywaji is nothing but his sober and scientific approach in dealing with graft. He is different from fellas like the late Chris Mtikisa with his gabacholis philosophy. However right he might have been, his approach was wrong.  The ongoing magufulification is likely to end the era where a few individuals or one race would monopolize the economy of the hunk and involve in capital flight and corruption as they deemed fit while our sitting-duck like rulers were laughing as if it was fair for boozers.
             From such cries in the neighbouring hunks, I learnt that Magufulification should not end up in sweeping streets and a few corrupt officials but the whole system in the hunk. Guess what. Even boozers at our swallow pub have changed. Instead of drinking and snoring, they’re now making sure that they start sweeping the room and dusting the tables before starting swallowing. One boozer left us in stitches when he jokingly said that he’d not believe that Njaa Kaya who messed our hunk would jump into the bandwagon of magufulification which in essence is an irony to his imbecility and duplicity as far as purifying the hunk is concerned. We all laughed especially when he produced a newspaper clip showing the guy smiling as he swept his town streets. The other day I heard some Chama Cha Mafisadi (CCM) advising Dr Kanywaji not to appoint what they called houseflies and mosquitoes in his govt. again, they forgot to warn him against appointing rats, quacks especially those alleged to have forged their academic credentials and above all termites that have for long eaten our hunk.
            Boozers are not mincing words. They want Dr Kanywaji to purge all those who burnt our dosh in hocus pocus such as collecting views on the new constitution that ended up being shelved without any meaningful explanations. They’d like to see the Mzee Jose Warioba’s document be brought before the mjengo so that it can deliberate on it already to become legally operative. This means, the current patched one must kick the bucket just soon.
            What’s more, after endorsing the magufulification of the hunk, I will start by magufuling myself, changing my name from Boozer Mlevi to Boozer Mugful. Under Magufuliphoria, I am intending to form an organization that will be reminding Dr Kanywaji what to do whenever he seems to tire. I understand how tough it is for an individual to preside over a corrupt and rotten system. This is why I propose that we magufulify our constitution so that our changes must be structural and institutional.
            Sensing the urgency of heading for the magufulification of my place, I better wrap up hither arguing Dr Kanywaji to magufulify our butchered constitution in order to keep the pace of change up and on.
Source: Guardian, Dec., 20, 2015.

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