Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Kushitakiwa Simone Gbagbo ni somo kwa wake za marais

KITENDO cha mahakama ya kimataifa ya makosa ya Jinai (ICC) kuamua kumfungulia mashtaka mke wa rais wa zamani wa Ivory Coast, Laurent Gbagbo, Simone, ni cha kimapinduzi kwa bara la Afrika.
Hivi karibuni ICC ilitoa hati za kutaka kukamatwa na kufikisha kwenye mahakama hiyo Simone akikabiliwa na makosa ya ubakaji, mauaji na uharifu dhidi ya ubinadamu yaliyotendeka wakati wa mwisho wa utawala wa mumewe mapema mwaka juzi kuja mwaka jana.
Gbagbo aliangushwa baada ya majeshi ya Umoja wa Mataifa na Ufaransa kuingilia kwenye mzozo nchini mle mnamo Aprili 2011.
Jumuia ya kimataifa iliamua kuingilia kwenye mgogoro wa Ivory Coast baada ya Gbagbo kuandaa uchaguzi na baadaye kudharau matokeo ya yaliyompa ushindi mpinzani wake Allasane Ouattra rais wa sasa.
Kitendo cha Gbagbo kugoma kuachia madaraka kilimfanya mpinzani wake aungane na waasi waliokuwa upande wa Kaskazini.
Kitendo hiki kiliigawa Ivory Coast kati ya Kaskazini kwenye waislamu wengi na watu wenye asili ya Burkinabe na Kusini kwenye wakristo wengi na waliojiona kama wenye haki ya kutawala kwa sababu ya asili yao ya hapo hapo Ivory Coast.
Mvutano baina ya Gbagbo na Ouattra ulidumu kwa miezi mitano. Hata hivyo, matokeo ya hali hii hayakuwa mazuri. Kwani watu wapatao 3,000 walipoteza maisha huku mamia wakikimbia nchi yao. Pia mvutano huu uliivuruga Ivory Coast kiuchumi, kisiasa na kijamii. Bado nchi inauguza madonda baada ya kuondolewa kwa Gbagbo aliyetolewa kwenye handaki akiwa hoi bin taabani kutokana na kuishiwa matumizi.
Baada ya Gbagbo kutolewa shimoni, alipelekwa sehemu mojawapo ya Ivory Coast na baadaye akasafirishwa kwenda The Hague ambako alikuwa ameishafunguliwa mashtaka. Tangu wakati huo Gbagbo amekuwa akishikiliwa mjini The Hague akingojea kusikilizwa na kuamriwa kwa kesi yake.
Baada ya kupelekwa Gbagbo The Hague wengi walidhani ulikuwa mwisho wa sakata. Hawakujua kuwa kumbe na washirika wake hasa mkewe na waziri wake mkuu wa zamani wangefikishwa mahakamani kujibu mashitaka sambamba na Gbagbo.
Simone anasemekana kuwa nguzo na sababu ya Gbagbo kung’ang’ania madaraka. Pia kama mke wa rais na msomi mwenye shahada ya juu ya PhD kwenye historia kama mumewe, Simone anasemekana kuwa na nguvu sana nchini humo kiasi cha kuogopewa kuliko hata Gbagbo mwenyewe.
Na huu umekuwa mchezo mchafu ulioanza kuota mizizi katika tawala nyingi fisadi na za hovyo za kiafrika ambapo wake wa marais hujigeuza marais kwa vile wanalala kitanda kimoja na rais. Miaka michache iliyopita tulishuhudia mke wa rais wa Kenya, Lucy Kibaki akiwachapa makofi waandishi wa habari baada ya kuvamia ofisi zao na kuwazuia kurusha habari zilizokuwa zikionyesha ufisadi wake kwenye sakata la wizi wa mahindi ya umma.
Nchini Zimbabwe mke wa rais Robert Mugabe, Grace Marufu anatuhumiwa kuibia benki kuu ya nchi hiyo mamilioni ya dola akiyatapanya kwenye vipodozi na mavazi ya fasheni ya bei mbaya hadi kuitwa Grace Gucchi. wakati mke wa rais akifanya upuuzi wote huu, wazimbabwe walio wengi wanakufa kutokana na ukata na kuvurugika kwa uchumi wa nchi hiyo vilivyosababishwa na ung’ang’anizi wa rais wa nchi hiyo.
Pia hivi karibuni tulisikia kuwa nchini Uganda rais Yoweri Museveni anamuandaa mkewe kumrithi. Hakika hali ni mbaya kwenye nchi nyingi za kiafrika. Wake wa marais hata watoto wao ima huingia moja kwa moja kwenye siasa au kuanzisha NGO na kuzitumia kuibia umma ukiachia mbali kupata upendeleo kwenye taasisi za kifedha na hata wengine kushiriki biashara haramu kama vile madawa ya kulevya.
Hivyo, kilichotokea kwa mke wa Gbagbo kinapaswa kuwa somo tosha kwa wake wa marais wanaotumia madaraka ya waume zao vibaya. Inashangaza kuona kuwa kizazi cha sasa cha watawala kimekuwa na upofu kiasi cha kutoogopa kinachoweza kutokea hapo baadaye.
Siyo siri wala uchochezi: Afrika kwa sasa ina akina Imelda Marcos wengi. Imelda alisifika sana nchini Ufilipino kwa kutumia madaraka ya mumewe kuiba na kufuja pesa ya umma huku umma ukiangamia hadi siku serikali ya mumewe ilipoondolewa kwa maandamano ya umma mwaka 1986. Inashangaza ni kwanini hawajifunzi hata kutokana na matukio ya karibu kama vile kukamatwa kwa rais wa Misri Hosni Mubarak sambamba na watoto wake pekee wawili wa kiume. Bado hawajifunzi kutokana na yaliyomkuta Gaddafi na watoto wake ambapo baadhi waliuawa na aliyetarajiwa kumrithi anashikiliwa korokoroni huku akikabiliwa na mashtaka mbele ya ICC.
Kitendo cha ICC kumfungulia mke wa rais wa zamani wa Ivory Coast chaweza kuwa mwanzo wa mwisho wa wake za wakubwa wanaotumia madaraka ya waume zao vibaya. Ni vizuri nchi za Kiafrika kuanza kubadili katiba zake na kuweka vipengele vya kuwawajibisha wezi wa madaraka kama hawa sambamba na waume zao na hata familia zao.
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Novemba 28, 2012.

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Is it Bongoland, Bongolalaland or Vigogoland?

God so (dearly) loved mankind that he sent his only son to save them, (John 3: 16). So too, the rulers of our hunk loved those they rule so as to send their kids to serve them, (BoT 1: 13 and Health 1:5). When predatory policies blessed by the power that be came into being, our people found themselves in precarious situation. They found themselves being vulnerable to the potential and imminent dangers of the system.  As this unfolded, the devil (charlatans) hoodwinked them (hoi polloi) to take such manmade disaster as a normal- God- given thing! They want them to live like Humilliati of 12th century. Hell no. 
Our people have always lived a squalid life of rascals. Instead of being up in arms or apply political jiu-jitsu, they’ve been made to believe that this is their fate. They're told not to disturb the peace of those who “own” the hunk by deceit. They must leave their plight and fate in the hands of their tormentors!  What fate can be decided by binadams instead of God? How can innocent tax payers keep on cascading down into abject poverty while their homemade thieves are getting richer and richer? 
 I know too well that this piece will annoy many people especially those behind the miseries of our beloved people. They’ll see me as prophet of dooms while they actually have been making the same dooms. Hating or discrediting me is like hating the photo while the one who made it is loved. Again, what goes around comes around. This is an unbeatable phenomenon. People need to be given the benefit of the doubt.
Essentially, we’re sitting on the ticking bomb wrongly thinking it won’t explode! Some politicians have even boisterously taken advantage of it stupid. They pretend to talk about jobs while their kids suffer no Joblessness. Currently, there’s news doing rounds online on nepotistic and corrupt employment of the children of bigwigs in the hunk. True, beneficiaries and their courtiers see nothing in employing the kids of movers and shakers in the hunk. They just say that those guys are fancily educated.  Tell it to the birds. How many mkulima’s and mfanyakazi’s children are out there wandering with their degrees while the kids of the biggies chad everything from public big time? How many rambunctious  sons and daughters of paupers are rotting out there without getting a job while the fat cats are dilly dallying in rich made by the way of robbing the public? What a primitive idea!
 
What we see is what we get. I recently came across names of Bank of Tanzia employees who happen to be kids of the biggies. This scandal of nepotism has gone viral as it rankles online. People are trying to air their pent-up choler by flaunting the names of the kids of politicos employed in public office just because they bear big names. These names are Sallyma Ally H. Mwinyi, Blaziaa William Nkapa, Pamela Eddie Lowassa, Zaria-zari Kawawa, and Fillybat Freddie Sumaye.
Others are AJabir A. Kigoda, Violent Phil Luhani-njoo and Justie Joseph Mungai. Others are Harietha Martenus Lumbago, Rechwo Muganda the daughter of the spouse of the former BoT governor (Dadi Balali), Sallyma Omar Mahita, Tommy Mongella, Likwu Kate Kamba, and Ken Nchimbi-li. 
Evidently, the ministry of Health is not spared of the virus of employing the princes and princesses. On the spot are names such as Drs. Janet Joji Kahamma, Hawaa R. Kawawa, Goony K. Kamba, Aasha O. Mahita and Ama-nii K. Malima. Interestingly, all of them are employed in Dar not Uswekeni. 
The cabinet, too, is not left behind. There are names such as Emmy Nchi mbi, Jan Makamba, Ad-aam K.Malima andAbdi and Hossein Ally Mwinyi. The parliament, too, has the same colour of mighty and glory. Those in the house are Wars and ZayB Kawawa.  I once listed the children of vigogos stashed abroad in our embassies. Names that feature in the list are Nkapa, Sokoini, Tibandebagi, Sija-see (Ona), Mwingi-ra, Ka-fanabo, Mu-nanka, Ka-rume and Msekua to mention a few.
Again, how many children of who’s who in the hunk are in such fat sectors such as TRA, Harbours, Immigration, Judiciary, Tourism, Trade, Minerals and what not? They may think they’re invisible, but the eye of the society sees them. 
The other day little bird told me that the high and mighty would like to see the hunk they’re milking being handed over to their kids and their kids hand it to their grandkids. This way ad infinitum! It means: the mwananchi has no longer a hunk to call his. He’s just a tool in the hands of supremos.  This selfishness and greed, if not stopped, is likely to cause morass and chaos. Hyenas can’t think out of their stomachs. This is what one fyatu told me the other day. He said that we’re experimenting hyenaism aka ufisi. We egg those implicated to do the right thing- stop, stop, stop just now.  Are you waiting for a had-we-known regret? Otherwise, what’s going on is a future ayiko-shinju or parent-child suicide. Is it wise to punch a knife’s edge?
“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered, the point is to discover them,” Galileo Galilei. Again, is it Bongoland, Bongolalaland or Vigogoland?
Source: Thisday November 26, 2012. 

Monday, 26 November 2012

Uingereza yamteua Mkanada kwa gavana wa Benki Kuu

Gavana wa Benki Kuu ya Kanada Mark J Carney (47) ameuliwa na waziri wa fedha wa Uingereza George Osborne kuwa gavana mkuu wa Benki Kuu ya Uingereza. Uteuzi huu usiozingatia mipaka umewashangaza wengi ingawa Carney anajulikana alivyo gwiji wa masuala ya fedha. Sifa iliyomfanya Carney ateuliwe ni uwezo wake wa kuhimili msisukosuko ya kiuchumi iliyoikumba dunia. Akiwa gavana wa Benki ya Kanada, Carney ameweza kusimamia Benki hiyo na kuifanya Kanada kuwa nchi mojawapo inayoheshimika kiuchumi duniani. Kwa habari zaidi BONYEZA hapa.

Friday, 23 November 2012

Heshima, kujikomba au kupenda usomi?

Je hapa nani anamdanganya nani?

Rais Jakaya Kikwete akipokea cheti cha Udaktari wa  Afya ya Jamii (Public Health) Honoris Causa toka kwa makamu  mkuu wa Chuo kikuu cha Sayansi na Afya Shirikishi Muhimbili, Prof Ephata Kaaya ikulu jijini Dar es salaam. Kikwete alitunukiwa shahada husika mwaka 2010

Thursday, 22 November 2012

Picha ya leo


Hatimaye ICC yamfungulia mashitaka mke wa Gbagbo


Message to the International Criminal Court’s Judges
Dk Simone Gbagba hivi karibuni ataungana na mumewe Laurent Gbagbo kukabiliana na kesi ya uharifu. Kwa wanaojua tabia chafu na hatari ambapo wake wa marais wa Afrika wanatumia madaraka ya waume zao, watakumbuka jinsi Simone alivyokuwa nguzo nyuma ya uovu uliotendwa na Gbagbo. Kwa wenye kuchukia tabia hii, kufungliwa mashtaka kwa Simone licha ya kuwa faraja ni ushindi kwa wapenda haki. Pia ni somo kwa wanaowaruhusu wake au waume zao hata watoto wao kutumia madaraka yao kinyume cha sheria. Kwa habari zaidi Bonyeza hapa.

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Rais JK, Mangula wana siri nzito


KWA wanaokumbuka, Makamu Mwenyekiti mpya wa Chama Cha Mapinduzi (CCM), Philip Japhet Mangula, Katibu Mkuu wa zamani wa CCM, watakubaliana nami kuwa aliondolewa kwenye nafasi ya ukatibu kwa aibu ya aina yake.
Pamoja na kukitumikia chama kwenye nafasi ya ukatibu chini ya uenyekiti wa Benjamin Mkapa na kusuka mpango wa kuiwezesha CCM kushinda, Mangula alitupwa nje na Rais Kikwete pindi aliposhika wadhifa huo.
Wachambuzi wengi wa mambo, wakati ule, waliona kama Rais Kikwete alikuwa ameonesha kigeugeu katika kupangua watendaji wa Mkapa na kuweka wake wakati akijua fika kuwa ni Mkapa na Mangula waliomsaidia kushinda na hata wakati mwingine kusaka fedha haramu kama za EPA kama ilivyowahi kudaiwa na mwanasheria aliyesimamia dili hili zima, Michael Bhyndika Sanze.
Mengi yalisemwa juu ya urais wa Kikwete kuanzia shutuma za wizi wa pesa ya umma kutoka kwenye Benki Kuu chini ya kashfa ya EPA ambayo Kikwete aliizima baada ya kukabidhiwa mikoba.
Yalisemwa pia ya Kikwete na kampeni zilizotumia pesa ya EPA kuwahonga wapiga kura baada ya kuwachafua wagombea walioonekana kuwa tishio, hasa Salim Ahmed Salim ambaye uzalendo wake ulitupwa kando na kuitwa Mwana Hizbu, hata Mwarabu wakati ni Mtanzania safi.
Kwa wanaojua mchezo mzima, kilichomponza Mangula hakijulikani wazi na bado kimeacha maswali kwanini Kikwete alimtema haraka, hivyo huku akimkingia kifua Mkapa?
Si Mkapa, Mangula wala Kikwete waliowahi kukanusha shutuma hizi nzito pamoja na Dk. Willibrod Slaa kuwataka wafanye hivyo mara nyingi.
Laiti Mangula angejua kuwa mambo yangebadilika haraka namna ile, angekata pua na kuunga wajihi wakati ule kabla ya kutimuliwa na kuadhirika kiasi cha kurejeshwa chamani kama zana nyingine yoyote.
Kwa wanaofahamu jeuri ya Mangula na alivyotupwa, wameshangaa jinsi alivyokubali kuramba matapishi yake sawa na Kikwete aliyemtupa nje baada ya kupata uenyekiti. Maana aliwahi kusema kuwa wastaafu wasikae Dar na kufungua NGOs, waende vijijini.
Je, nini siri ya Rais Kikwete na Mangula “kurudiana”? Je, Kikwete amegundua kosa lake au Mangula amepunguza hasira zake? Je, hii ni ndoa ya mashaka au mwisho wa uhasama?
Kwa wanaojua maisha ya watumishi, wanaoachia ngazi bila kuiba vya kutosha, bila shaka watakubaliana nami kuwa Mangula amelazimishwa na ukata kukubali kumtumikia Kikwete hasa wakati huu ambapo watu angalau waadilifu, au wenye madhambi yaliyofichika na wenye busara ni wachache ndani ya CCM.
Kwa upande wa Kikwete, naye kama Mangula amelazimishwa na ukata wa uadilifu kiasi cha kuramba matapishi yake. Je, ndoa hii itafana na kufanikisha kile walichodhamiria ambacho ni kuifufua CCM ili iweze kuwa ‘fit’ kuelekea uchaguzi 2015?
Kila mti utaujua kwa matunda yake. Maneno ya Mangula wakati wa kuwashukuru wajumbe kwa kumpitisha nadhani yanaweza kutufungulia kijidirisha cha kuchungulia kilichomo moyoni mwake. Alikariri, “Isifike mahali CCM ikatangaza tenda ya uongozi,” Je, hapa Mangula alikuwa akimpiga kijembe bosi wake ambaye ilidaiwa aliingia madarakani kwa pesa, tena pesa yenyewe chafu au maswahiba wa Kikwete wanaoutafuta urais kwa pesa chafu itokanayo na usaliti na wizi kwa taifa?
Je, Mangula alilenga kupeleka ujumbe gani? Je, Mangula alikuwa akitubia dhambi ya kuiba pesa na kuitumia kama hongo aliyoishiriki wakati wa kuitafutia CCM ushindi wa urais wa Kikwete? Je, alikuwa akiwakumbusha wale wanaotaka urais kuwa kipindi hiki hatashiriki mchezo mchafu kama huu?
Je, Mangula amekubali nafasi husika kwa masharti ambayo ni siri ya wawili kiasi cha kuwa na jeuri ya kutamka maneno yanayoonekana wazi kumgusa bosi wake ambaye ni hasimu wake wa zamani kimsimamo? Hakika ndoa hii ya wawili inaacha maswali mengi kuliko majibu.
Je, Mangula ambaye aliondoka kwenye ukuu kwa aibu ana jipya gani la kuleta katika CCM? Mangula baada ya kutemwa na Kikwete alijaribu kugombea uenyekiti wa Mkoa wa Iringa akabwagwa na Deo Sanga mwaka 2007.
Baada ya hapo alijaribu kugombea ujumbe wa NEC jina lake halikurudishwa. Kwa wafuatiliaji wa mambo kitendo cha Mangula kujishusha hadi kugombea cheo kidogo kama kile kilionekana kama mtego kwa CCM, ingawa wakati ule si Kikwete wala CCM waliojali.
Je, ni kitu gani ameifanyia CCM hadi kumkumbuka? Je, ametubu dhambi zake au waliomtema wamejikuta wamebanwa kiasi cha kukuta kuwa Mangula ndio muarobaini? Hata hivyo Mangula ambaye ameonesha kushindwa tena kwenye nafasi ndogo anaweza kuleta jipya gani zaidi ya kutafuta riziki? Je, atakubali kuacha msimamo wake na kile anachoamini ili kuishi?
Wahenga walisema: mtumikie kafiri upate mradi wako. Je, haya yanajidhihirisha kwa Mangula? Kwa wanaojua tabia ya Kikwete, wanatia shaka kama ndoa hii itadumu hasa ikizingatiwa alivyomtema Yusuf Makamba baada ya kugeuka mzigo na kumteua Wilson Mukama ambaye aliishia kuwa mzigo hata zaidi ya Makamba.
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Novemba 21, 2012.

Kumbe Karumekenge ni uangasho!


TUKIWA kijiweni tukitafakari jinsi mafisi na mafisadi walivyopanguana na kupangana kule Idodomya si Dk. Mpemba kaja na mpya.
Anaingia akiwa anaimba: Uangusho, uangusho, uangusho, Karumekeenge naye yumo ati! Hatumuelewi kwanza.
Mara Mbwamwitu anaamua kumtolea uvivu. Anasema, “Ami leo kunani au nawe umejiunga na uangusho baada ya kuchoshwa na ndoa ya Maalim Madefu wa Kafu?”
Mpemba kaguswa pabaya! Anakwanyua mic na kuchonga, “Kwanza mie si mwanachama wa Kaafu. Pia si wa kundi hili la kigaidi la Uangusho ambalo hakika miye naona la magamba,”
Mbwamwitu hakubaliani naye. Anamuuliza, “Sasa kama wewe siyo hao alkaida sorry Uangusho mbona unaimba wimbo wao hata kama unawaita makenge?”
Mpemba anajibu, “Miye sijasema eti uangusho makenge ati. Lau wangekuwa makenge tusingewahofu hawa. Hawa alkaida ati. Nisemacho ni kwamba Karume -kenge aliyepitishwa na hao mafisadi wenzake kuwa rahis wa Zenj ameumbuliwa nao hao wenzake.”
Kabla ya Mbwamwitu kudakia, Dk. Mgosi Machungi anatia buti, “Shisi hatikieewi inaposema Kaumekenge naye yumo. Kwani huyo Kaumekenge ni nani hadi akushughuishe?”
“Yaani wewe hujui Karumekenge ni nani wakati ni mtoto wa Abdi aitwaye Ama.. Yatosha jamani mshamjua kuwa ni yule jamaa aliyepitishwa kuwa rahis wetu wakati hakufaa na sasa ameamkia kwenye uangusho,” Alisema Mpemba huku akibwia gahawa yake.
Kabla ya Dk. Mpemba kuendelea Profesa Msomimkatatamaa aliingilia kati, “ Ami kumbe hukuwa unaujua mchezo mzima! Hawa wanasiasa uchwara walioondoka kwenye ulaji wa bure wakiwa wanautaka wanatafuta mwanya wa kutengeneza nyufa ili waonekane wakombozi hali itakapokuwa mbaya,”
Anabwia kahawa yake na kutazama huku na huku na kuendelea, “Ingawa wanaweza kujiona wajanja kwa hujuma na upuuzi wanavyofanya, moto wanaotaka kuuwasha hawawezi kuuzima. Si wao na hao vibaraka wao wala mabwana zao. Tunapaswa kuwashughulikia mapema kabla hawajatugawa kwa tamaa zao.”
Kila mtu ameweka mkono kwenye tama akisikiliza mapwenti ya Msomi wetu kijiweni. Kabla ya kuendelea, Dk. Kidevu anamuuliza swali, “Pworofwesa, unataka kutwambia kuwa hata manyang’au mafisi na mafisadi nayo yameanza kushtukiana kiasi cha kuanza kuzomeana kama walivyomfanyia Karumekenge aliyewatusi kuwa wana ubongo wa samaki?”
Dk. Mipawa halazi damu, ankwanyuma mic, “Nadhani kama magamba yaliyomzomea Karumekenge yana ubongo wa samaki basi yeye anao wa kenge kama jina lake,”
Wanywa kahawa hawana mbavu kwa jinsi Dk. Mipawa anavyowapaka mafisi kwa maneno makali yenye lafudhi ya kisukuma.
Wakati watu wakiendelea kuvunjika mbavu, Dk. Mgosi Machungi anakatua mic, “Dokta Mpemba hemu tiambie. Hivi nkwanini nyinyi huko mnapenda kutumiana?”
Kabla ya kuendelea Mpemba anajihami, “Yakhe sasa haya ni matusi. Twatumiana vipi wakati watu wajinga wajinga wataka waonekane wajua wakati hawajui kitu Kama huyu Karumekengee,”
Anavuta sigara kali yake na kumpasia kichungi Mbwamwitu na kuendelea, “Kama magamba yatumiana nyuma ya pazia usiseme ni sote. Wao kwelii watumiana tena kwa siri na wazi wazi. Sie wanannchi twapinga kutumiwa ndo maana wale watu toka vi-island walimzomea Karumekenge.”
Dk. Mgosi Machungi kanogewa anaamua kukwanyua mic tena, “Kama huyu Kaumekenge ndiye uangusho yawezekana ndiye aitoa bendera yetu kwa waiani kufanyia biashaa yao ya haramu, hebu tijaribu kufikii pamoja.”
Dk. Mchunguliaji haniangalii mwenyekiti lau nimruhusu. maana tangu mada ianze inaonekana kama mwenyekiti sina kazi na kama ninayo basi mimi boya. Anyways, I have decided to let the vent. The whole schemata are supposed to look like that in such kind of circumstance. Lol! Nimevutiwa hadi nikaonyesha usomi wangu. Anyways, kikameruni kinajua kung’ang’ania ubongo.
Dk Mchunguliaji aliendelea, “Kumbe Dk Mgosi ulikuwa hujui hili! Mbona kila mtu anajua ni nani alichuuza bendera yetu kwa wanaharamu wale.”
“Mimi naona tuachane na mambo ya Karumekenge na ukenge wake wa kuangusha akijitia uamsho. Hebu jamani tuchambue hii NEKI mpya iliyoundwa juzi na wabaya wetu,” Alipendekeza Dk. Mipawa.
Dk. Machungi anadakia, “Ie NEKI kwei neki. Maana ukiangaia mijitu yenye uchafu kama Phil Jaff Mangu na Zaki Mengjii unashangaa na kugundua kuwa kumbe kazi ya inzi ni mbaya. Hivi hawa waiosababisha wizi wa HEPA wana jipya gani zaidi ya kuja kusuka wizi mwingine?”
“Du Mgosi sikuwezi kwa kukumbuka mambo makubwa kama haya. Tena jana nilisoma kwenye gazeti la Tanzania Ever Dk. Silaha akizidi kumkaba shati Phil Mangu,” Alichomekea Dk Mbwamwitu.
Profesa sasa kafika mwake. Anakatua mic na kuanza kutoa lecture, “Nadhani wengi hawajui kuwa haya ni maandalizi ya wizi wa njuluku nyingine kwa ajili ya uchakachuaji na uchafuzi ujao.
Ingawa baada ya Mangua kukamilisha dili ya HEPA na kusababisha ushindi, Njaa Kaya alimpiga kibuti na kumteua mropokaji Yusuf Ma-rope kwa kuogopa Mangua angemsumbua kutokana na kujua dili ya Hepa.”
Anachukua kashata na kuila na kuendelea huku akikohoa kuweka koo vizuri, “Hapa hakuna cha NEKI mpya wala nini bali ni kukusanya wazoefu ili wafanikishe ujambazi mwingine.
Mada ikiwa inaanza kukolea si likapita gari la Karumekenge likimuwaisha Airport. Wote tulisimama na kuanza kulisindikiza kwa wimbo ule ule ulioanzia Idodomya. Uangusho, uangusho, uangusho, uangusho, uangusho hadi wapita njia wakaanza kutujalia.
Baada ya kuona ndata nao wanaanza kujisogeza wakidhani nasi tumepagawa kama akina Shehena Pondwa tuliamua kuvunja kikao. Uangusho uangusho nanyi mandata uangusho kama Karumekenge. Nadhani kaya yetu sasa ya uangusho maana kila mtu anaangusha mwenzake. Ngoja nami niende kuangusha.
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Novemba 21, 2012. 

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

UKIMWI, je tunachezewa akili au?

Ukimwi sasa una zaidi ya miaka 20 tangu "ugunduliwe". Je kunani nyuma ya pazia? Hebu angalia video hii.


Hatimaye Mr Bean atangaza kuachana na uigizaji

Gwiji wa vichekesho wa Uingereza Rowan Atinkson or Mr Bean hivi karibuni ataachana na uchekeshaji ili kuanza kuishi kama mtu wa umri wake. Kinachosikitisha ni kwamba kuigiza mambo ya kitoto na kiutani sana kumemfanya akose hata mbinu ya kuwatokea akina mama kiasi cha kuishi na dubu. Kwa habari zaidi BONYEZA hapa

Monday, 19 November 2012

Waheshimwa name names please

The other day I went to the pub to quaffer with friends.  This is where many disgruntled Bongolalalanders floak to hobnob and dream big. If you want to know the hidden lives of our politicos, simply attend regularly. These common earthlings know almost every thing bigwig wear from the diaper, sorry, underwear to the “small house”t hey go to be “skinned” like a goat. This is where I got the names of the bandits who stashed money abroad. A good thing about drinking is: the guys there don’t know the word anonymous or fear.  They willy-nilly jabber whatever they want in a hurly-burly without any fear.
 It is an open secret. We’ve a lot of unfaithful and thievish supromos in our hunk especially in public offices they use to rob us. Since Swiss Authorities spilled the beans that some noble bloodsuckers stashed millions of dosh there, the power that- be has become dumb and deaf. After such earth-shaking revelations many goofed; thinking such news would be a welcome.  Wonder not! It isn’t.  Those alleged to have committed such sodden actions, either are still in office, or have their consigliore and abettors in our fucked up offices known as public ones.  In a phrase, public offices have become public offerings for noble or big thieves to rob. Who cares especially now when thieves are called honourable and vice versa? 
Time’s been flying by without anybody taking on these noble brigands except imbibers. We need wahishimiwa who hate such boorish behaviour to name names.   I heard some of them moving motions in the diet seeking to divulge names. Will the speaker allow such hara-kiri stance?  If you’ve evidence be it puffed up or circumstantial, please spill the beans. We’re tired of politicking while hoi polloi are sinking in destitution caused by such bastards.  If I were a waheshimiwa I’d summon some roundsmen and spill all beans. I’d do so knowingly that those thieves can’t sue anybody under the sun. Where are the goons who forged their “degrees”?  One guy named names even by authoring a book. Those stooges bullied to sue to no avail. This is Bongolaland. They knew.  When something becomes an in-thing soon it is forgotten as was in the cases of EPA, Richmonduli, Meremeta and other sacriligos the regime has committed. So guys, name names and fear not.  The sun won’t fall on you.  Do like Dr. Willy Slaa on the List of Shame.
Believe you me. At our kanywaji, names were flouted like crazy. While waheshimiwa fear to name names, boozers fear nothing even if those implicated are in power.  Boozers aren’t coward like them. Imbibers went a mile ahead associating the list of thieves with big purse in Switzerland with the list of shame that Dr. Willy Slaa tossed a few years ago. I’d have divulged those names I heard at the booze bath. Again, given that my sources were drunk from being heavy-eyed to pie-eyed to wall-eyed, I bet. It won’t do me good. Instead, I will just repeat those two names everybody knows of And Chenge and Id Rashid who were implicated by SFO.
More on heshimiwas, with all immunity and what not you have, why don’t you name names? Yoo-hoo. If you keep on bringing headless motions without naming names people will think you want them to think that such a scandal and allegations are trumped-up stuff next to bo-peep. They won’t differentiate from those serious waheshimiwa and political thugs. Whatever you say will be regarded as power that-be’s hotchpotch if not mealy lies. 
To stop tongue wagging, why don’t you recalibrate the manner and courage you employed when you blew out and dealt with Richmonduli scandal? What’s amiss? Mzee wa Viwango or courage to take on whoever stands in your way regardless who he or she is? Failure to divulge names of those mighty thieves, you’ll be looked down upon if not to be branded liars, rubber stamps for corruption and conspiracy. Are you ready to be called names for not naming names? Verily, people are tired of yada yada, hoo-has and ballyhoos and abracadabra.
It is a nonsensical and feeble-minded act per se-- to keep mum on the dosh stashed abroad while our economy’s always in dire straits for decades. If anything, those presiding over such a regime making do with such situation are nothing but hypocrites and cowards.  We don’t want the guys who shift gears whenever we want them to be accountable.  We don’t want our rulers to be seen as yin and yang to venality and impunity. Show ‘em the door. Who wants to hear the story of the Njaa Kaya’s two-headed serpent in the house? If you know there’s a serpent in your house, kill it instead of making nonsensical statements. Aren’t yourself the said serpent that’s why you don’t want to kill it? Who wants such sanaas and abracadabra? People want actions especially at this time everybody is competing with another in robbing the public. It’s appalling for our hunk to send its president to beg almost everywhere. But when such begged monies are available, it sickens to find that they end in Swiss Banks instead of resuscitating our economy and our people. Shame on you all who rob and rape my hunk.  “The price good men pay for indifference for public affairs is to be ruled by evil men,” Plato (429-347 BCE).
Source: ThisDay Nov. 19, 2012

Sunday, 18 November 2012

Makanisa yanayojengwa kwa pesa ya mafisadi ni safi?


Siku hizi jina la Mungu limeisha thamani. Linatumiwa na kila tapeli fisi na fisadi kujipatia riziki au umaarufu. Hapo juu waziri mkuu aliyeondolewa madarakani na kashfa ya Richmond, Edward Lowassa akishiriki harambee ya kuchangia ujenzi wa kanisa kule Manyara.
Katika tukio hili Lowassa alitoa mpya kwa kusema kuwa Tanzania inaweza kutoa elimu ya sekondari bure. Kauli hii iliwashangaza wengi wanaojua matendo ya Lowassa hasa alivyosaidia kampuni feki kujipatia mabilioni ya shilingi. Pia wanashangaa kwanini Lowassa analiona hili baada ya kuondoka madarakani. Je huu si unafiki na ubabaishaji wa kawaida na kutafuta sifa?

Saturday, 17 November 2012

Hebu sikiliza na kusoma hotuba za mabingwa


“My majesty Mr. Queen Sir,
horrible ministers and members of parliament,
invented Guests, ladies under gentlemen.
I hereby thank you completely…..Mr. Queen, sir;
and also what he has done for me and my fellow Uganda
who come with me.
We have really eaten very much. And we are fed up completely:
And also very thanks to you keenly open up from all windows:
so that those plenty climates can come into lunch. But before I go
back to my country with a plane from the Entebbe airport of London
I wish to invitation you Mr. Queen, to become home to Uganda so
that we can also revenge on you .
You will eat a full cow: and also feel up your stomach and
walk with difficult because of full stomach completely.
Even when you want to rest at night; I will make sure that
you sleep on top of me in the top up stairs of my mansion
completely so that you can enjoy all the gravity of fresh air.
“But now am sorry because I have to tell you that I have
made a short call on you only. But next time I shall make a long call
on you to last the whole moon completely. Thank you very much
to allow me to undress you completely before these extinguished
ladies under gentlemen sir.
Lastly but not list, I ask the band to play our international anthem
of the republic of Uganda and also the British international anthem…Your majesty sir, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and from the bottoms
of all the people of Uganda .
With this few words I thank you Sir.