Sunday, 15 May 2016

Crucify those who offered 8tn tax exemption

            Though Bongolalalanders have no tails, they make me wonder a lot especially when I see what they do either individually or collectively as a hunk. Recent damning report by the Comptroller and Audit General (CAG) that our hunk lost approx., eight trillion schillings–even if it is dafu, or call it junk status sort of currency–left me shocked so as to wonder even more. Such a humongous amount is not joke dosh. I was shocked beyond grasp to underscore that an ever-begging hunk extended generous tax exemptions worth 8tn in just five years.  Who are these buggers–be they supremos or small fish–that committed this sacrilege; and what’s the govt waiting for to have them apprehended and let them rot behind bars?
             As per boozers’ experience, such dosh we lost to dubious tax exemptions can buy 30 Airforce ones or construct Obama’s 100 White houses. So, too, this dosh can construct our 1,000 Ikulus. Furthermore, such dosh can build a bridge from Dar to Zenj; or fill Mtera Dam with kanywaji which can make fish and all humans around it get free kanywaji forever. In other words, such dosh can purchase tones of ganja that can run all smokers in the hunk forever. Importantly, such dosh can buy the Garden of Eden or turn Dar si Salaama into Dubai if not Panama City or London.
            The first thing boozers anxiously want to know is; who committed such a sacrilege. Boozers are baying for the blood of the villains. They’d like to drink somebody’s blood. So, too, the boozers want to know the beneficiaries of this mass murder resulting from toxic-tax exemptions so that they can chew their flesh if not setting them on fire like vibakas. The major question one can ask is: Who bewitched Bongo that offers tax holidays to thieves while boozers are dying of treatable and preventable diseases apart from going without food even kanywaji? The biz of wondering doesn’t end up thither. You wonder to hear some politicos praising the regime that committed all these sacrilegious things instead of throwing its heads behind bars so that it can be a lesson to their accomplices.
            Boozers are openly telling Dr Jon Wine Mugful to waste no time or look around trying to find boils aka jipus to cleanse. Bongo is now inundated and pregnant with jipus almost everywhere. We’d like to see him taking on such putas and buggers who authored this calamity for five years. We can give him the hunch. While we’re speaking about tax exemptions, there’s this oil saga whereby the hunk consumed illegally-imported oil for five years thanks to turning oil meters off. Such a crime can’t be committed by small fish. This obviously is a dirty job of sharks especially in the state house. This is why the right binadam to be squeezed if not queried is Jack Kiquette with his lieutenants who are said to be stinking rich thanks to such deals that left boozers imperiled and left out.
            While Dr Mugful has–for a long time since coming to power–been witch-hunting and whitewashing, now boozers want him to not waste time on hidden jipus while cancerous ones are left to thrive and claim more victims. How do you waste–for instance–time on pending case on tax evasion that’s worth just one trillion while there’s a cool eight trillions? Simple, if Mugful means biz, he must re-audit all beneficiaries; and force them to cough our dosh back then proceed to the dungeon. Five years isn’t a long time to trace. It is easy to know who benefitted and who helped him or her. This is the only scientific way of taking on mega graft. If Mugful doesn’t know the culprits, he’d ask the CAG to issue him a list that he’d not sit on like Jake.
            The last and worst thing, any sane human including boozers can do is offering tax exemptions and proceed on self-dressing down begging. All those who committed this crime must be mentally sick; thus insane. There’s the only way to cure such stupid gorillas; send them to Ukonga. This is when and where my appeal for apprehending and jailing chaps like Jake kicks in. I, therefore, think; Dr Kanywaji won’t budge or offer any hoo-ha vis-à-vis putting screws on such buggers. Club them like a baby seal.  Essentially, the eight-trillion dent informs, and reminds us of the necessity-cum-importance of amending our constitution to see to it that we don’t vote mentally-sick people in the highest office in the land.
            In sum, any sane hunk with sane citizenry especially its head, can’t spare all those pooches and foxes that offered toxic tax exemptions while boozers are suffering like nobody’s business. Essentially, what these goons did is nothing but gang raping our hunk. Tuwachome moto if needs be.
Source: Guardian.

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