Chavda and fellow bilkers, welcome to Bongolala

I WELCOME good news that honourable V.G Chavda is back to Bandar ul Salaam despite being erroneously repatriated. This is the only reason that has forced me to write this welcoming note for him and other bilkers.

First of all, be assured sir, there are many deals out there waiting for shakers and movers like you. So rest assured that your brain, worth millions, will nary become dormant.

Welcome to the country of selfless heroes and heroines who command immense power and know how to exploit. Hither is where being a chameleon, like you, pays. You just approach one zombie in power and feed him or her with whatever lies and then he bravely and watchfully consents to them. You know what? How can he avoid the bait whilst he possesses an empty head and a dog’s heart?

Mentally bankrupt and redundant, pardon me, rich rulers and greedy crooks make it much easier even if you want to take their wives. They’re ready to sell their people to dogs, wolves and hyenas little knowing in the future, the same vampires will devour them!

Our economic oodles used you and retire and now you're a hero (that saved their faces and reputations); ready braced to be used by the new ones. So why shouldn’t you come back to enjoy and push for other deals?

So it is not bad to extend a welcome hand to brother Chavda to come and join his colleagues that are behind the mighty and untouchables like Kagoda, Meremeta, Mwananchi Gold, Deep Green Finance,ANBEN, Richmond and such.

Kindly, welcome to the hank of zombie, sorry, the brave sir.

Another thing, don't you worry for the media to blow your cover. No police can touch you. You are not a political activist or in the opposition but a money maker. So, as long as you keep allied with us, worry not sir. We’ll protect you ad infinitum. We’re philanthropic extraordinaire especially to foreigners.

Let all trouble makers be warned. Shall any of you touch Chavda or other investors who are, in essence, our guests; we’ll show you why birds do not urinate or cows lay eggs.
Back to Chavda, take it from me brother. Our poets, thinkers, authors and leaders will glorify your name. The judges, lawyers, Human Rights activists and heroes will stand on your side.

Given that a great many like you are making their voices heard in the parliament, I’d strongly urge you to run for parliamentary seat so that you can represent us as you teach us how to print money.

You can even go to India and import others like you so that they can come and invest in this hank. You indeed will go down in the books of history as your name will be emblazoned in gold and diamond.

I understand you’re smart. If economic vultures, cheetahs, hyenas, ticks and all creepy creatures of the night, however stupid they’re, can easily make a kill in Bongolala, what about you? Shall the wabongo wag their tongues; your partners in upper echelons will mercilessly take them on.

Mad detractors say in this hank all buggers become VIPs and opulent, thanks to consenting to be in bed with foolish and mad crooks in power. If they touch you, though they call us crooks, we'll rush at them baying for their blood. Yeah.. If you want to know to whom the dog belongs, throw a pebble at it. But ignore these mad creatures and take my word. You'll forever be protected.

Though blind and myopic people think you’re such bad news, they horribly miss the point. Who knows? Are you the brain behind radar and presidential jet scams? What of EPA and NSSF deals? I’m asking this because it needs the brains like yours to commit such sacrilege.

Tell me. How did you survive Mengi’s cull when he took on sharks? Can you please tell how special were your ties with the second phase regime especially with the then Premier JSM?

Are you the one that coached one lamenting shark to gang up with the former PM who was shown the door thanks to his sabotage to the nation through Richmond?

In brief sir, welcome and feel at home in this fools’ paradise. And rest assured, we’ll protect you till the last drop of our blood and not to mention the last cent of our wealth.
SOURCE: Thisday May 26, 2009.