Dear First lady, Janet Mugful,
Congrats on becoming the fifth-first lady of the republic of Bongo.
Allow me to humbly and sincerely touch base with you. To be open and frank, I adore you like I do to Maria Julius Nyerere the first-First Lady of this hunk who served diligently and trustworthily so as to be missed even after over thirty years of her noble service.
You, too, contrary to your greedy and venal predecessors minus Maria, seem to have understood how irky boozers feel about the biz of using Ikulu to print and mint dosh illegally. For, since your hubby took the reins of power, I’ve never caught wind of any speculations about your new First Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) aka the First Lady’s money-making company disguised as an NGO.
Boozers asked me to write this letter as their appreciation for your patriotic and trustworthy resolve especially refusing to ride on your hubby’s back and make a killing quickly by duping our sisters, mothers and daughters that you fight for them as if the ministry responsible isn’t there. Your knockback to forming an NGO makes boozers happy so to speak. They’ve always suspected such NGOs that they call private companies for thievish and hooked on First Ladies. Why use your hubby’s office as if you’re brainless? Why forming an NGO after your hubby becomes president? Keep this up dear lady to see to it that the devil doesn’t cheat and hoodwink you just like others we love to hate for their ravenousness and nearsightedness.
If you keep in on with that, your ideal example will save much dosh especially at this time power’s used as a spoon to scoop ill-gotten wealth. Indeed, power, especially in corrupt hunks like ours lulls and corrupts absolutely. Keep on defeating the devil and greed. Stay put as you only advise; and care for your hubby at this time he’s ruling the hunk instead of wasting time and face chasing dirty and quick bucks that’ll, in the end, make you look bad if not being called a bandit. So, too, make sure that your kids and relatives are not getting near to the biz of the hunk. If your friends or relatives come asking you to talk to the big man about offering positions, tell them to go to hell. Beware. Many’ll befriend you so as to get away with murder. Never allow them to use you as if you’re naïve just like those we know to have been used by their shogas to get some ulaji they are now losing like crazy.
I’m not writing this to make myself look good or get close to the seat of power like those I know who say even unthinkable things that birds can’t believe in. I’m sincerely and happily writing this as a testament that boozers don’t like First NGOs or nepotism and cronyism as we used to evidence them in the past. I don’t expect to hear that your son or daughter’s a millionaire or chasing small positions in the party of your hubby like it used to be sometimes back. Like Maria Mchonga, you’ve proved that first lady sans NGO is possible and honourable. Please maintain this sanity to see to it you make a good precedent to top up Maria’s. Boozers like the way you’ve kept a low profile especially after your hubby became head. Boozers are happy about this. I think even Joni is happy. You can see it in his face. For, he doesn’t have a wife who wants him to bend some rules in order to enable her do simian biz. Keep in on making him happy by avoiding temptations of making dosh even if it means to endanger his admin especially after exiting power. Who wants his sweet to become a disgrace especially after vacating the seat of power? Who wants to be accused of doing biz in Ikulu or inviting her relatives and other bêtes noirs to rob the boozers? Who wants to be jeered and mocked by boozers, birds and goats after exiting power? Go ask Ana Tamaa Makapi or Sal Jake. Do you think they are as happy and respected as Maria is? Their myopia and greed are not torturing them. Kula na kulipa. The other day I evidenced birds jeering and mocking them simply because they misled their gullible and myopic hubbies so as to do business in the holy of the holy. Theirs was what boozers call bedroom politics whereby unwise people sharing the bedroom with the big men use them as tools for exploiting paupers already pauperized by visionless and thievish rules of their hubbies which Joni seems to avoid like leprosy.
Dear Mom, allow me to wind up this epistle here wishing you well as I strongly commend and advise you to stay put to see to it that shetani wa utajiri doesn’t get you. Amen.
Break a leg mom.