Ee Kanwaji ee Kanywaji, I love you with all my heart.
I truly love you Kanywaji.
I adore you, however, not every Kanywaji.
Warning: Never sing this song in the presence of the lady with whom you share bed and bedroom.
The song above is my favourite especially after swallowing Kanywaji as I prepare myself to face my lioness back home where the first question is always, “How many women have you seduced,” I always answer none even if I've had just been skinned by small house.
Today, I’m going to speak in prophetic parlance. "Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy." Alexander Fleming (1881-1955). Again, is it all brands of wine that make people happy or is it just a perception? This is subject to debate. Today, I’ll go with the idea that wine makes people happy. Now that wine makes you happy, what transpired recently seems to dispute this assertion.
When the ruining, sorry, ruling party invented a “new” brand of wine known as Amangula, we bibbers were neither moved nor amused. Even if we’re in love with kanywaji, weren't duped. How could we endorse an old type of wine just because it is in a brand new bottle? Did the maker think that we’d mistake of Amangula for Amarula? Yeah. For, before it’s launched, it used to rot in stores almost everywhere. Somebody tried to sell it in 2008. It was flatly refused. The swallowers in many pubs in Nyarukoro’s areas can nicely tell you how the said wine was neglected whenever it was advertised.
Again, the winemaker Mr. Prof. Gwiji, Jake Kikweliquor of Common Con Manufacturers (CCM) Company assured himself that he’d brought a new stuff. To the bibbers, Amangula and Amasekwa are old illicit stuff which shouldn’t be in the pubs instead of historical books.
Sadly, when this illicit liquor was launched in county of Bihawana Red, almost all vuvuzelas went wild praising it instead of cursing it. Again, are they trying to sell a pig in a poke or something? It baffles to note that this monkey business has been consuming a lot of money. After Amangula was launched, it’s been touring all regions of the hunk to entice the bibbers. It is put on the plane every now and then to be delivered to deaf and blind bibbers. I’m happy that such obnoxious and outdated wine is not served at our pub aka parliament. If anybody brings this toxic wine, I swear. He’ll get out with a bloody nose if not broken ribs or neck. How can they keep on fooling us even if we are bibbers?
Along with Amangula is AmaKnana-another brand of old stuff otherwise presented as new. Did he think we’d mistake it for Cognac? Is there any difference between AmaKnana and Amakamba or Amakama? Who’s fooling whom in these ballyhoos of wine making? Do they think we've easily forgotten how these two brands helped mega thieves to rob our EPA money? If they've forgotten, we haven’t. We still remember vividly how these two brands of wine were instrumental in pilfering our dosh. We still know: they've been purposely re-introduced in the system so that they can intoxicate people. Thus, enhance another mega theft. Will they succeed this time around? Who knows? This is Bongolalaland where any megalomaniac crimes can be committed and those committing them get away with it. Again, icons like Dr. Willy Slaa will nary sip these illicit liquors.
Methinks. These con-wine makers would have opted for Gongo in lieu of Amangula and AmaKnana. So too, they’d have made it known that gongo is not as illicit as their’ new’-old-illicit stuff.
What drove Mr. Wine maker to re-invent old illicit stuff whereas he’d have invented new ones? Is it because his farm has all rotten grapes? Is it because his winery is getting old so as to lack supply and manpower? Maybe, he misunderstood the famous saying that wine improves with age. Again, the saying is, “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.” Didn’t Mr. Wine maker know that life is too short to drink bad wine?
Many thinkers, especially imbibers, still wonder why the man went for old stuff such as Amangula and AmaKnana while there are new brands such as Amapepe of Mape. Again who wants to mix wine with bhang? Why reinventing stuff like Amamegheji while there are other brand new stuff? It is sad to note that even young people with such sharp eyes are succumbing to such old stuff. I didn't hear them oppose the move that fools and feeds them old stuff. Were they duped by the new bottle? Are the youths going to rebel or are waiting to fulfill the prophecy? It was said, “Gentlemen, in the little moment that remains to us between the crisis and the catastrophe, we may as well drink a glass of champagne.” Paul Claudel (1868-1955). Do they know that what is to come for CCM is nothing but demise? Is it because of power or intoxication that makes them dull and passive or abracadabra?
If the in-thing were old wine, if I were he who faked the wine, I’d have gone for chateau Lafite if not Mouton Rothschild or Romanee Conti. Again, reinventing Amangula and AmaKnana is but a joke of the year. Anyways, maybe, this is the way the guys want us to lapse the year --- with scandalous flapdoodle otherwise called invention.
"Good wine needs no bush," William Shakespeare.
Source: Thisaday Dec.,24-30, 2012.
Monday, 24 December 2012
Amangula, old wine in a new wineskin
Posted by NN Mhango at 11:12