Thanks Kashililah for flopping

There’s no time bibbers were openly all agog like the day Dr Tommy Kashililah, the clerk to the national assembly, recanted his bogey threats to shelve Bunge’s live coverage. Such freak-out brought a good aura. Swallows and fricassee were offered like crazy. You know what? Swallowers never believe in getting-booze-in-utopia paradox. Our loutusland’s on earth.

As we’re at our watering hole hankeringly irrigating our throats not forgetting to talk big, news arrived that Kashililah denounced his ballyhoos. No. The news was: The guy defeated himself by licking his own vomitus. One bibber left us in stitches when he said, “Thanks God for averting WW III that’s to ensue had Kaishiwa’s baloney been perfected.” Thenceforth, Kaishiwa became the name.

Who wants to miss the whole big picture of heshimiwas taking naps or telling lies? Hon Joni Komba and Steve Wasira are you there? Who wants to miss sideshows and fashion shows? Didn’t Kaishiwa and the likes know Bongolalalanders get wind of the newest gadgets--- laptops and handsets--- from watching movies Mjengoni. Who wants to miss theatrics, Heshimiwas’ bling bling and expensive viwalo?

If anything, there’s no place I adore and like at Mjengoni like the parking lot pregnant with shangingis and all expensive toys Japs have ever produced. Looking at them, a newcomer to Bongo won’t believe that such expensive heshimiwas represent paupers instead of Shangri-La. Even Japanese MPs afford such oil guzzlers.

I, for one, like to get new vocabularies from the Swanglish aimed at showing voters that MPs actually are educated and not forgers. Have you ever heard any heshimiwa speaking pure Swahili or pure English?

More on Kashililahism, after he stole the thunder, Kaishiwa found what he’s trying to commit was tantamount to suttee. After receiving some noogies from the annoyed wananchi, he decided to cringe after clinging unto tyrannical edict.

The good doctor had no way. He cowered and shifted the blame onto the media. Guess what. As usual, just like any coward politicos, he said that the media didn’t get it. Ironically, when the same media reported his recantation got it right. Wow! Sometimes it feels good for an adult to behave like a baby. You fool yourself thinking you’re fooling others. Shame, sorry, fame on you Kashiwa!

Did you know that such a movie’s barbaric and tyrannical? I read one editorial saying that your move wasn't only retrogressive but also non progressive.

Seriously, be advised. I recently evidence bibbers baying for your blood. They didn’t mince words after you issued your mkwara. They’re openly saying that you don’t have power whatsoever to attempt to do what you said leave alone executing it. Their argument is; Where do you get the power while how the House should conduct its business isn’t under your jurisdiction? Do you want to usurp the powers of the House? Don’t you know that even your boss, madame speaker, doesn’t have such power? Wasn’t your uppity an assault and abuse to the general public? Don’t you know that the said House is run by taxpayer’s dosh?

Bibbers are angry at you. How dare you take away their constitutional right --watching their representatives doing their sideshows? What’re you intending to hide? I heard one bibber saying that you’re not happy about seeing some heshimiwas dress down during the sessions. He added that you’re being used by those who wrongly think that the House belongs to the ruling-cum-bullying party.

Again, being an impartial party in this imbroglio, I’d strongly advise you not to commit this suttee again. You can take this to the bank. Tanzanians of today are not the same zombies the high and mighty used to cow and bulldoze. They’re educated---above all, know their rights. They've witnessed what happened to what were thought to be unshakable regimes in Egypt and Libya.

True, I heard one bibber saying that those who want to be respected should nary drink a lot from the cup of power and end up becoming winos and tyrants. I don’t mean you’re one. However, looking at your proposition, the conclusion becomes same difference.

Dear good Dr,

Can you give us any precedent of what you’re intending to do? Did you think the people would subscribe to this megalomania? I heard some vuvuzelas complaining that CHADEMA biggies disclosed your boss’ telephone numbers so as to expose her to assaults, intimidation and abuses. Do you think bigwigs should keep their phone numbers a top secret as it currently is? Why should taxpayer foot your bills while you actually want your number to be a private matter? Bibbers are clear on this saying that given that those occupy public offices are there to serve the public, their phone numbers should be made public so that they can see how better or worse they serve. I totally concur with this given that transparency and good governance can be assessed by those ruled.

I also heard some pro-tyranny fyatus saying that exposing biggies’ phone numbers will cause harassment for female public officers. Hogwash! Go tell it to the birds. If, for example, Anna Makinda was preferred to become a speaker of the house to Samuel Sitta simply because she’s a female, why didn't female factor feature or degrade her?

Those defending this gunk say that females are subjected to degradation if their phone numbers are made public. What a stinking and hairy lie! Shame on you! For their info, I know the numbers of the Queen and it’s nary been a problem. Who are those foxes of ours? Find another decent and intelligent way of massaging your lies. Again, this mess can’t be defended or justified so to speak. You betcha Kaishiwa for defeating yourself! Again, is this the way to fell natural gas’ issue in Mtwara?

Source:Thisday Feb., 25-March 3, 2013.