Saturday, 18 July 2015

Pombe for president and pombe for boozers

          Now the cat is out of the hat. Dr John Kanywaji Makufuri is officially a Chama Cha Mapenzi sorry, Mapinduziii (CCM) flag bearer. This dude didn’t reach at this pinnacle easily. He’d to outsmart other bigwigs who made a goof thinking they’re unbeatable anointed ones. We congratulate you on this milestone.
Now boozers are saying, “John for president, Pombe for boozers and Makufuli for fisadis.” Despite being very competent, Makufuli wasn’t expected to easily and shrewdly beat politicos such as Eddie Luwasha who seems to have spent a lot of his dosh to this pipedream. Again, apart from congratulating Makufuli as we wish him well, it’ll be unfair to not congratulate President Jake Kiquette on living up to his words. Remember. He assured boozers that he won’t doctor the results as far as CCM flag bearer is concerned. Secondly, we wholeheartedly congratulate Luwasha whose fans and goons were expected to wreak havoc after his name failed even to feature in the five best.
Now that the Jembe, Makufuli is in the game, the opposition needs to play its cards skilfully well. I understand. Many opposition sympathizers used to pray that CCM make a goof and bring Luwasha whom they’d have easily barbequed due to his taints. Now that the big machine, JPM is facing off with the opposition, maybe, CCM won’t even need to chakachua or play any foul. What for?
Makufuli seems to have what it takes. First, he is well educated. Having a PhD –not an honorarium –in chemistry is not a joke.
Secondly, the dude is highly experienced especially in sewage politics of the hunk. He seems to have no cloud of corruption over him.
Third, the due is shrewd. He speaks the language of paupers and boozers well. Having no mtandao is another asset for him.
Fourth, if he was able to get many votes within his party despite having a lot of evil networks without having any, this means the dude is a good schemer who can put the opposition back to the opposition benches in the house once again.
Fifth, compared to all others including the opponents, Kanywaji has a very shining legacy of being a hard worker. What he needs to do is not to slow down after getting to the pinnacle of power in the hunk.
Now that the dude is in the big picture, we need to offer him free nuggets of wisdom based on our kanywaji and bangi experience.
First of all, Kanywaji Makufuli must not allow his wife, Janet to form an NGO just like the outgoing couple. Having a suspicious NGO for the first lady creates disrepute to the cleanliness of her husband. She is not known up till now. So, when she must keep a low profile so that to enable her husband to exit power with a good legacy.
Second, Kanywaji Makufuli must declare his wife’s and his wealth even before getting into the office.
Third, he must watch his close friends, relatives and associates not to forget some corrupt businesspersons who will pretend to be generous to him while they actually won’t be so for him as a bin-Adam but for his office.
Fourth, Dr Kanywaji must make sure that he takes on graft and drugs. For, our hunk is one of much tainted hunks in the world as far as graft and drug trafficking are concerned.
Fifth, he must make sure that our dosh stashed abroad is reclaimed and be brought back home.
Sixth, he must make sure that those behind EPA, Escrow and Richmonduli are being brought to book.
Seventh, he must see to it that all bogus investment contacts are declared void so as to create room for the renegotiation of the same based on national interests but not individuals’ interests as it has always been since mzee Ruxa’s era.
Eighth, Dr of Chemistry must use his alchemy to see to it that the code of ethics is rejuvenated failure to which I won’t see any difference between him and Jake.
Ninth, he’d restudy Kiquette’s shortfalls in order to avoid repeating the same madudus.
And tenth, he must fear and avoid globetrotting, begging and borrowing just like leprosy. By so doing, he’ll be able to inculcate discipline into his subordinates easily. For the rooster taught chicks to poo in the bed.
For today, suffice it to say, congrats John Kanywaji Makufuli, CCM Luwasha, Kiquette and all others who made it possible to reach this milestone.
Kanywaji for president, Pombe for boozer, and Makufuli for fisadi. Kanywaji hoyeee! Makufuli hoyeeee! I wish you well and best of luck my friend and welcome to kanywaji and ban---stop!
Source: Guardian July 19, 2015.

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