Sunday, 18 January 2015

Bravo bro Muongo stay put

          Hello bro Prof Souse-pie Muongo,
Before saying anything, please understand. Muongo I mean here’s different from Mwongo. You know. I’m sizzled after “puffing” and sipping. Again, in my language Muongo with “h” has bad connotation, and it is an insult next to a sacrilege. So, please, understand that, and bear with me.  I’m writing to toast you for staying put weathering the lumpy political weather in the hunk. Nor am I intending to play devil’s advocate. I know. Boozers are beckoning you to quit for the theft they say you consented to. Give their toots no hoot. Tell them to go to hell. For, the hunk now is shamba la chizi. All sorts of thieves, gorillas, politicos, bêtes noirs and whatnot can flock and rob as pleased at this doom and gloom.  It’s too bad, so sad for boozers.
Ugly as it seems, what you’re doing’s enviable especially in the hunk where crimes and self-serving pay under Uhujumaa and Kujimegea.  I’m sure. Those who think in Ujamaa and Kujitegemea hugger-mugger see you as a criminal while you actually are a saint that presider can’t fire.  How can he while you’re in the same boat?  Some call you a traitor while you’re a proprietor. Even if you’re one, are you the first, last or alone? Why bother then? Munch as you like given that they’re the ones who entrusted you ulaji without knowing what it meant, especially, for an academic to crucify his field for politics. To do so, there must be some fat and gourmet yum-yum surely.
           I hope you’re fine as you devise how to hug and hog power at all costs. I know. Boozers are baying for your blood praying for your nosedive before they fry you alive.  Guess what. They want you to hit the road so that they can stop guessing about what’s in gas and energy contracts you vowed to conceal come rain come shine. They want to see the foul mess that bro Bill Ngeleja left abaft. Dare not to call it quits. If you do, many goliaths will be in peril.
I hail your tenacity. It needs the courage of the mad to hug unto ulaji as you are smartly doing. Even your boss is the guy who’s not given any ear, eyes and heart by his creator. So, you being two deadly dudes and good friends of rainmakers boozers like to call fisadis, I’m sure. You’ll triumph even if it means the hunk to suffer even more. Who cares?
I salute you. You promised to guard the secrets of gas contracts by refusing even to divulge them to the mjengo and you a wee bit lived up to your words. Kudos mura.  I’m sure. Jake Kiquette’s proud of you especially at this lala salama of his when dosh’s needed. Methinks the guy doesn’t want to do like Ben who made sure that he takes Kiwila before abdicating. Ben wasn’t as wise as Jake is. Why take a farm or a factory instead of fluid dosh that you can stash abroad? Bon vivant as you’re, I’m sure. You’re making a bomb within no time to see to it that you live like moguls after winding up this phase of self-help. Au vipi?
You promise not to relinquish ulaji and you lived up to your words.
Some goons think you’re like pro-fedha Anna Kajuamlo Tiba who’s kicked out without staging any fight. Some say you’re but a pro-fedheha if not a profiteer. Either way, who cares if dosh is minted and printed? After materialism overthrew mores, having dosh is an in thing even if the one owning it is a criminal.
          You know as everybody knows that I’m a prof.  The difference’s I’m not a politician or a profiteer.   Some detractors doubt your academic ability so as to call you a preposterous prof.  I challenged them to kick you out of ulaji if they think you’re academically unfit or kaput. What they don’t seem know is you and I are doctors save that one’s a dork and another is a doc.  There’s, between us, a quack and a dolt who allows the dosh of his hunk to be robbed in a broad day light without feeling guilty. And when he’s told to hit the road he acts as if his head has nary accommodated any brain.
          People cajole you to hit the road so that they can discover more of our things especially shoddy, sorry, sharp investment in gas and energy.

This is an electioneering year. Even our party will nary allow you to open Pandora’s Box knowingly that the end of it all will be suicide if not humiliation. Importantly, Mura, stay put. I know boozers. They’ll soon forget. Then you’ll triumph though for the time being as you look for plan B. Again, bro, tell me. How much did you get as a cut in this deal? Don’t think I’m jesting. Guess what. Up to now nobody knows how much dosh was stolen in escrew.
Source: Guardian Jan., 18, 2015.

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