Sunday, 8 February 2015

Bar as many newspapers as possible

       This thing I’m to address is very subtle. Thus, I’ve to pop to the pub and inscribe it from there knowingly that those who’ll read it won’t take it seriously so as to follow me or my paper for the shunning just like The East Afro recently.  Shall boozers annoy me; I’ll go home to – at least –enjoy the carol in my carrel with bi Mkubwa aka queen boozer aka mwananke wa shoka who loves to keep me indoor fearing I might pick some twilight girls aka changu. Guess what. I used to read every edition of the EA before it was kindly swooped and banned for telling lies.  Some fyatus defend it saying that it is mere fear and insanity to ban a paper simply because a boozer or cartoonist wrote or penciled something.  I’m not trying to play devil’s advocate sui generis. Guys, you’re wasting time. The truth is all over the place even if you don’t want it written. The paper broke the law. It was supposed to praise sing – just like other news outlets that do so –in order to survive.  The other day boozers asked me as to who is to be banned between those who commit buffoonery and those who report them? All have to be banned. How dare you to say the king is nude – even if it is true – how do you rout him?
          For instance, if I were a cartoonist to draw somebody travelling every week for matanuzi it’d be more of a crime than the actual doer I depict. Former biggie Ben Mkappie used to say wana wivu wa kike namely they've female jealousy. If those whose dosh the guy spends have nary complain, why’d you draw him doing his things?  I know fyatus will ask: What type of logic are you applying? I’m using the so-called Rweyependekezamu logic.  I thought I’m the only tooter little did I know that they are many more! How on earth do you use the voice of the voiceless to tell lies? I can see that one is shaking his head saying: How do you gag a paper simply because it has told you naked truth? Put it this way: It is impolite to say that the king is nude even if he truly is. Inakuhusu nini? As a subject you don’t have to. Instead you have to praise him for donning a nice suit.  I know many boozers are saying:  If you don’t want your nudity to be known, why can’t you stop getting out nude?  Shut up or put up. Who told you that truth will set you free?  We’re building a hunk based on truth not based on lies and liars, hypocrites and pretenders. Go ask spin doctors what truth means to them. They’ll tell you that it only their truth that matters but not the Truth. Can truth set you free this way?
          In a true democracy and domocracy, the king must be protected. He’s infallible and his entire home. Why’d you poke your nose into his biz as if there aren’t other things to write? What did you expect when you voted based on his flamboyance and smiles? Keep your microcosmic domocrazy and demoncrazy away from our beloved king, the choice of God and people. Stop monkeying around tarnish the good name of the king. You’re lucky. If it were me, you’d have been hanged for blasphemy and abusing the holier one which abut sacrilege. Dammit!  Though I’m upset for not getting my weekly copy, I've to admit. I better miss it than evidencing the high and the mighty been exposed. However true the story or the cartoon might have been, it’d not disturb the peace and solidarity of the hunk. In our hunk it is clearly known that disturbing peace carries a very high stake. Even if somebody’s stolen billions of dosh like escrew, you’re not supposed to take on him for fear of disturbing peace and solidarity. Those who think that drawing the undrawable is freaking hilarious should put in the head that it isn't. Wakome na kukomaa kabla hawajakomolewa like the EA. Why don’t you toe the line like any Mzalendo with all of Uhuru any patriotic can enjoy? Are you really a Citizen or the Citizen? You need to be centripetal to exist in this sort of scenario where power can be used or misused in any way.

          If normal and simple spending spree with friends itches you that way, had you come across billion of bucks the hunk loses to tax evasion, corruption, capital flight and the total quantum of illicit dosh outflow involving the who’s who, won’t you committed suttee?  Again, given that Bongolalalanders are too lazy to read, who needs newspapers whereas the udaku and udukuzi stuff are all over the place for those who bother to read?  Ironically, such papers are interested only on x-rated stuff but not scandals involving their biggies. 
Source: Guardian Feb., 8, 2015.

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