Knowing how our hunk doesn't need sophisticated mortals --- it is hard to rule and bulldoze even dupe them--- Constitution Assembly (CA) otherwise known as Constipation Assembly came up with a very ingenious way of saving illiterates. Guess what. CA proposed that the qualification for becoming a Member of Mjengoni aka MP should be just standard seven certificate. If anything, this is but sounding death knell for our education which is already in ICU.
Many boozers didn't want to hear this. Again, who wants enlightened MPs who can query some deals in the house? Given that our hunk is heading back to pre-Adamic era, who wants bibliophiles whose education’s always caused us quandaries. I think this is why the minister for Knowledge and Skills Dr. Shchool Kawadog’s always pushed our education down to the drain knowingly that we don’t need educated leaders. Again, who’s to blame since the hunk went to pooches? Top dogs have always been there to watch as if it doesn't concern them. Why should they bother if at all their vitegemezi are studying abroad?
If one’d ask boozers what the qualifications for becoming an MP should be, I’m sure. They’d say that kanywaji and bangi should too be considered to qualify for being an MP. To do justice for all, boozers think that even the president should know only how to write and read. Given that presidency's but ceremonial role of representing boozers, the president should be the guy who can smile and talk a lot but not the one who can listen and become serious in anything. Boozers want someone to please and make them happy. Thus, degrees and whatnot are not that important.
By proposing that the qualification for becoming an MP should be a Primary School Certificate, preferably obtained by being taught by UPE teachers, CA wants to discourage our biggies from forging their academic qualifications which has been going on unabated.
When CA proposed its qualification for becoming an MP, one boozer left us in stitches. He said that other qualifications should be:
Having many nyumba ndogo, big mouth and small ears, being a bachelor and among others being able to promise anything even if you don’t intend to live up to your words. However, one boozer came with a very different approach vis a vis MPs’ qualifications. He wanted them to have at least one undergrad degree in law so that they might be able to enact better laws as opposed to the current ones. He added that given that forging is no longer a crime, MPs must have PhDs that they’ll forge or bribe some university to award them honorary degrees. It is nice to have MPs with PhDs even if they didn't toil for them. Who wants to toil in the hunk where hard work doesn't pay?
By having Standard Seven Leavers in the house, we’ll be able to utilize our national language exhaustively. We’ll get rid of colonial languages which complicate things for many of our MPs. So too, we’ll abolish Kiswanglish which make boozers uncomfortable when oft-used by MPs who’d like to be regarded as educated even though they aren’t. If Swahili is going to be used, our farmers and boozers will understand what’s discussed in the mjengo as opposed to the current sideshows where Kiswanglish dominates the house. Also, by using national language, we’ll encourage dumb MPs to stop taking naps in the house. Instead, they’ll be able to contribute to the motions with confidence. I’m pretty sure my friends such as Joni Kombha and Stivi Wahasira won’t shuteye Mjengoni anymore. I treasured their photos taken when they were snoozing Mjengoni. They’re striking to look at. They show how our hunk is tolerant almost on everything. Had it been in western countries, napping Mjengoni would guarantee being kicked out right away without even waiting for voters to do so. If our hunk can allow a highly paid person to nap why can’t allow a person with little education that can’t enable even a sommelier to get a job? What else do we need? Are we looking for rocket scientists of just politicians who can tell us whatever they like? We need the guy who can tell us sweet lies of better life for everybody which means them but not us. Does lying need higher education really? When it comes to telling lies, I see no border between egghead and blockhead or illiterates. Importantly, beware and warned. If you think: Education is expensive just try ignorance.
Source: ThisDay Sept., 15, 2014.