Sunday, 9 November 2014

Mr President: Presidency’s not a hard job


Sometimes some politicos talk as if those they address are halfwits or have lost their memories. Recently, President Prof of herding goats and bovine, Jake Kiquette left boozers in stitches. He’s quoted as saying, “Secondly, this job is very hard. Truly, I very much envy those with guts of aspiring to remain in this job for many years. Maybe, there are stronger than I am.” (This is our translation). Is this true really? Is presidency as hard as writing humour or nourishing the president and his regime? Boozers didn't buy it though. For they know. A hard job is to pay tax to enable president live comfortably even if by doing nothing except spending.
Firstly, boozers would like to correct Kiquette in his reification. Presidency isn't a job but a political position that can be occupied anybody regardless whether he or she is educated or not. This is why goons and robbers like Joseph Mobutu, Idd Amin, Sani Abacha and others were able to occupy it for long time as they cohered to it so as to be toppled or expelled by the barrel of the gun.
Does it mean that Jake spoke in a parlance to mean the opposite? Guys like Yoweri M7, Robert Mugabe, Theodoro obiang, Denis Sassou-Ngwesso and Blaise Compaore would laugh at him to show how untrue Jake’s statement is. Ever since its inception, presidency even under Mwl. Julius Nyerere, despite his purity, presidency’s been a snobbish job. This is why Mwalimu had to invent one-party politics by competing with the shadow in elections aiming at protecting this “job” of eating without sweating.
However, this isn't the first time for boozers to hear such hoo-has. Even Ben Mkappie once said the same soon after completing his first term. Those bothering to think asked if truly presidency’s a hard job, why did Ben deny other cadres in his party, to take on him.”
Essentially, presidency is monarchy, especially in the hunks where accountability is foreign bombastic. It is an opportunity for minting and printing dosh quickly, not only for the bearer of the office but all surrounding him or her. Can this be a tough job really?  Presidency, especially of Bongo, is the opportunity of eating free, travelling and globetrotting freely, acting irrationally without being questioned or put to task and whatnot as we recently evidenced.  If presidency were a hard job, as Jake alleges, would he be able to spend much of his time on plane touring the world?  Would he be able to keep mum as hoi polloi shout at the top of their lungs demanding he stop abusing their dosh?  To add salt to injury, he’s nary stopped even divulging those accompanying him in his merrymaking sprees abroad.
For the sake of argument, even if we concur with Jake as he wants us to believe that presidency is a hard job, there are a couple of questions to make.
Firstly, if presidency’s hard, why is it that everybody wants to become president?  How come that some of presidents used the media to tarnish the names of their challengers and got away with it? Why did other rob our banks a la EPA to raise money for bribing voters and paying leech-like journos? Have they forgotten what transpired in 2005 and thereafter whereby paid-up journos were awarded jobs in the office of president and other being appointed District Commissions? Salva Rweyemammy and Mi-hingos Rweyemammy can testify to this.
We’ll show how presidency’s a very easy-going and classy job.
Firstly, once you become president your wife, kids, friends and their friends become presidents in their lights. They run for political offices and garner them easily simply because they’re related to you.
Secondly, you travel abroad as pleased while the boozers foot your bills.
Thirdly, you receive all types of accolades, degrees even professorship without sweating in the class.
Fourthly, you’re always protected even when you mess no court touches you. You’re protected as if somebody wants to steal you.
Fifth, after becoming head, your memsahib creates a bogus NGO and rakes dosh in. For, donors avail themselves to her due to sharing a bed with you. Your kids and their friends become biggies thanks to being born in a royal family. Ask guys like Riz, Dr. Hussy Mwinyi, Jan Makamba and Steve Maselee.
Sixth, when you become president you’re able to protect your friends who break the law such as forgers, thieves, drug barons and whatnot. Is this a hard job really?
Though there a plethora of reasons to prove that presidency is not as hard as we’re duped, let wind up hither emphasizing that presidency is not a job but monarchy hidden in a political robe especially in Bongo. Looking at Jake’s actions ever since he became biggie, one’ll underscore the truth. Thus, we’d not be duped to believe that presidency is a tough job as Jake puts it. All said. Boozers are anxiously waiting to see Jake herding his goats and bovine after coming from his farm. Wait. A few years after vacating power, you’ll see in Dar just like his predecessors. At that time ask him of his promise to look after his animals and farm. Expect no answer.

So long
Source: Guardian Nov., 9, 2014.

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