Letter to Muhoozi Keinerugaba, Tweet Even More Please

Muhoozi, before saying something, I must remind Ugandans of the best day the country has ever had. On 24^th April 1974, Uganda and the world were blessed with and received one of the most powerful sons of presidents in the world, you. This is the time you (who avenges or revenges) came to this earth to save some of earthlings from the ennui of a long-time ruler who happens to be one of your makers. 
        It is the time your great mother gave birth to you, the great son of president who wields as much power as his father, the son who needs more power. Indeed, your arrival wasn’t a common occasion. It wasn’t like the birth of small men and women who come from poor and weak families. Yours was the birth of a saviour of some sort, especially for those who don’t believe that the more things change the more they remain the same. You know what I mean. Still, you’re a saviour for the status quo so to speak vis-a-vis Ugandan politics.
            Dear Muhoozi, a few weeks ago, you, as the most power son of the most powerful man you unveiled what Ugandans need to make do with. Yep, you started to bite at the power that your dad’s been eating on for long. Because of your significance, you openly want everybody to know and make do with you fired a tweet at the US asking it to not put its nose into Ugandan affairs. No joke. You’re not joking. 
            Did you mean business or you’re just looking the way take a bite on power and come out of the political closet. This, to me, shows your significance as the son of the most powerful man in Uganda who also is the most powerful son of the president. The twosome of–––without forgetting your mother––––are the most powerful people Uganda’s ever had. 
        Let Ugandans know that your trinity’s unshakably intact and unique since you’ve made Uganda what it’s today, although your detractors stupidly assert that Uganda was made rich for your family and poor for the rest. Let them know that you still have a lot to offer, and Ugandans must wait for more surprises from this trinity.
            Dear good General, underscoring your greatness and significance, I propose that next time you tweet, all Uganda’s media must support you by subscribing to your tweeter account. I also propose that your tweets must be made breaking news in all Ugandan media. I know those who don’t like you, dear good general, will wag tongues thinking I’m trying to get a mileage out of this assertion, or I might have been paid to say this. Nope, what I’m saying is as simple as the tweets themselves. I know those who don’t know the importance of the first family, namely you,  the mother general, and the father general, wrongly think that their lives are adversely impinged on with uncertainties your tweets cause. Go figure. Guys, who are you in Uganda? Who bewitched or cheated you not to get it?
            Dear General, when the story of your tweets warning the US surfaced in the media before you deleted them later, a friend sent me an email complaining about the uncertainties they’d cause. Also, he’s some concern about the EAC, which’s never delivered anything. I scolded him to stop being selfish, evil, and naïve since things have changed. Christians believe Jesus died for their sins though they’re told everybody to carry one’s cross. On the contrary, politicians believe that citizens must die for them and their sins. Methinks this is the genesis for many African rulers to live larger than life while their taxpayers live and lurch in penury. I told the guy to consider other related things such as the disturbances democracy’s been causing in many African countries that tried it and ended up abusing it through vote rigging and tampering with constitutions to extend their time in office.
            Dear General, methinks Ugandans––––whether they like it or not­­­­–––should brace themselves to see you becoming their leader shall anything happen to your father. This is simple to decipher. When I consider your gruff rise in the army, you can easily know what I mean. Also, if you interrogate the reason[s] behind your father’s clinging unto power, you’ll be on the same page with me. Moreover, if you consider the powers your mom has behind the curtains, you’ll agree with my hypothesis. 
            To give those who pretend to deny the truth, I want them to ask themselves as to why your tweets are leaving everybody shocked. Is the system testing the waters? Is it preparing Ugandans psychologically for what’s on the card in the upper echelons of power wherein manipulations are one of bread and butter of its mainstay? Why have you become such important this time around? Let’s get as serious as a seal instead of trying to screw over this rear up of your display. Those who don’t know your good intentions for Uganda stupidly argue that aim to achieve more power! What power is it while you already have it? Shame on them!
            Dear General, in sum, let me wish you a very spiffy tweeting mission. The Swahili sage’s it that clouds are the signs of rains. Therefore, what you’re seeing regarding your centrality is but the beginning if not the tip of the iceberg. Tweeting warning Uganda’s enemies is one leg in the waters. The sage’s it that if you can’t beat them, join them. Whether they like you or not, they need to understand Uganda’s power dynamics, especially after your dad came to power and altered everything to his advantage.  
        Look at foolish detractors. They foolishly allege that your father propped you up so quickly that way in the military. Nonsense. You’re born a soldier more of a commander. What’s wrong with you to be a presidential material? Once again, Dear General, you seem to brace yourself for big things. Big things come to big people. That’s my titbits of sagacity. Ring-a-ding-ding, nothing but.
Source: Daily Monitor today.

Kama miwaya inakula umeme kwanini umeme usiile miwaya?

 Juzi, nilishangaa nusura nife. Si kuna eti utafiti uliofanywa kubaini kwanini umeme unatumika haraka hata kama vifaa vyote vimezimwa! Uliona wapi zaidi ya kwa mafyatu tu? Hapa bado hujasukuti juu ya kuisha muda wa matumizi ya bando la simu. Kweli bando linaisha au linaishishwa ili kuwafyatua mafyatu waliokataa kufyatuka wakafyatua hadi wanafyatuliwa na kila jizi na zwazwa? Hamuoni wachukuaji wakiitwa wawekezaji wawekezao hila za kuwafyatua mafyatua? Ufyatuzi huu haukuanza jana wala juzi. Jikumbushe skandali ya mikataba ya kampuni jizi la Ipielo enzi za ruxa wakati jamaa wa Msonga akiwa waziri wa nishati.

        Kama haitoshi, jikumbushe kashfa ya NBC na ABSA na shemejize Ben. Pia, jikumbushe kashfa mama za Escrew, Kagoda, Mwanakaya Memetuka na nk. wakati wa jamaa wa Msonga. Ukitoka hapo, njoo wakati wa Jiwe ni ile kashfa ya Chatolite ingawa haikupigiwa upatu tokana na kumuogopa mwamba. Kwani, Chatolite ina tofauti gani na Gbadolite ya Kukungbenduwazambanga?

     Japo ya kale hayanuki, wakati mwingine hunuka. Bila kujua ya kale, inakuwa vigumu kujua ya leo yapo kwa sababu gani. Turejee ufyatuaji wa kizwazwa. Sijawahi kuelewa mfano kusikia eti miwaya inaweza kusababisha bili za umeme kupanda. Kwanini haisababishi kushuka? Nilishangaa kusikia eti miwaya isiyopaswa kubeba umeme ilibeba umeme. Kwani, umeme ni maji? Maana, hata kama miwaya ilibeba bila kutumika, umeme ungebaki pale pale. Kwani, kazi ya miwaya ni nini? Hata ukichukua hiyo miwaya ukauganisha kwenye mti, bado bili ya umeme haitaongezeka vingenevyo kuna uchawi. Hivi miwaya kweli inakula umeme au tunafyatuliwa sababu ya uzwazwa au kukosa ufyatukaji wa kuwafyatua wanaotufyatua? Kesho, bili za maji zitaongezeka. Tutaambiwa sababu ya ni aina ya mabomba yaliyotumika. Hebu tujiuize kifyatu. Nani anamilki mitandao ya miwaya inayoingiza umeme kwenye mbavu zetu za mbwa?

           Hamjasikia mafyatu wakilalamika. Mabomba hayatoi maji lakini bili zinakuja. Huenda hata taa nazo zikizimwa zinaendela kula umeme tu au umeme unakula taa. Da! Mmejua kutufyatua!

            Hii ni dharau na roho mbaya sina mfano. Mmetuletea miluku kutubana ilhali sirkal haiitumii. Hamkutosheka! Sasa mnasingizia hata miwaya! Tutajuaje kama kesho, hatutaambiwa kuwa hata matone ya mvua yakigusa miwaya au kunguru kutua juu yake vinapaisha bili? Nimekumbuka. Ndiyo maana juzi nilimuta mghoshi Machungi akiwa na manati anawinda kunguru wasitue kwenye nyaya ili wasimuongezee bili.

            Hakuna kitu huniumiza nikatamani nifyatuke na kufyatua kama namna kila tapeli tena zwazwa, awe wa ndani au nje, anavyoifyatua Fyatuliand. Yaani, mashirika mengi tunayoita ya kiwekezaji ni ya kichukuaji. Kama yanawekeza, basi ni kwa wale walioyawekeza yakawekea njuluku kwenye akaunti zao fichi. Wanachota toka kwa mafyatu na kutajirika na kuondoka na kutuachia umaskini.

            Daima, nawaza kifyatu. Mfano, inakuwaje mafyatu wanene wanatumia njuluku za mafyatu kapuku kujenga miradi halafu wanaita wachukuaji, sorry, wawekezaji waiendeshe? Inakuwaje lisrikal lijiingize kwenye biashara hii ya kichawa, sorry, kichaa? Au ni kwa vile wanene waneemeka kwa kuwafyatua mafyatu waliogoma kufyatuka wakafyatua hadi wanafyatuliwa na kila atakaye kuwafyatua?

            Sitashangaa kwenda kituo cha wese nikajaziwa hewa na kuambiwa kuwa tatizo ni aina ya mkweche ninaoendesha. Sijui itakuwaje na Bi Mkubwa akianza kunifyatua njuluku akisingizia mkoba anamoziweka. Hebu tuwe serious kidogo. Inawezekana kweli bando likaisha au kuisha muda wa matumizi wakati siyo bidhaa inayoisha? Inawekezekanaje bili kupanda bila umeme kutumika? Baya zaidi, mijizi inapanga tarehe ya kuisha bando kana kwamba ni chakula au inajua unvyotumia. Tunamfyatua nani na kwanini yarabi au tumeishiwa ubunifu wa kutengeza njuluku? Bando ni data. Siyo chakula wala dawa ifikie mwisho wa matumizi yake. Hapa Ukanadani sijawahi kusikia kitu hiki. Ukitaka kuwafyatua mafyatu wa hapa kizwazwa kama hivi, wanakufyatua, kukutoa kwenye ulaji na kukufungulia mashtaka.

            Kama hatutazuia ujambazi huu, anaweza kutokea munene akashirikiana na makampuni ya kutengeneza bidhaa kama baiskeli, magari, hata nguo na kuambiwa kuwa nazo zina mwisho wa matumizi ili kuwalazimisha mafyatu kununua bidhaa hizi. Kama bando linakuwa na mwisho wa kutumika, mbona simu hazina? Chondechonde mswambie mafyatu kuwa na watumiaji wa simu nao wana mwisho wao wa matumizi.

            Mkimaliza, mtawafyatua mafyatu. Mtadai kuwa na runinga zao zina mwisho wa matumizi! Yote fanyeni. Msijetwambia kuwa hata njuluku tulizo nazo zinaexpire. Kama vyote vinaexpire, natamani waanze hawa wanaotufyatua na kutuchezea shere kana kwamba sisi ni hamnazo kwa sababu tumegoma kufyatuka na kuwafyatua ili kuwaachisha kutufyatua tena kizwazwa.

            Natamani niandamane. Hata hivyo, naongopa ndata wasinigenzii, wasiojulikana wasiniteke, kunipoteza na kuninyotoa roho. Naonya. Ukija kuniteka, nakuteka, nakupoteza, na kukudedisha kwa vile nisipofanya hivyo, nitafanyiwa. Hii huitwa self-defense kisheria.

            Nionye. Asitokea fyatu yoyote akadai kuwa na Bi Mkubwa wangu amefikia mwisho wa matumizi. Kama hiyo inawezekana, basi kamwambia Bi Mkubwa wenu anayewaruhusu mfyatue vitu vya hovyo na kizwazwa kama hivi. Nimesemaje? Kumbe  niko Mirembe!!

Chanzo: Mwananchi Jtano leo.

Inakuwaje baadhi ya ndoa ni tegemezi?

Tunadhani wengi mmeishasikia baadhi ya wanandoa walioshindwa kuimarisha ndoa zao kwa sababu mbalimbali wakitafuta misaada. Si vibaya kutafuta misaada hata ushauri. Je, ni wapi upate vitu hivi na wakati gani na namna gani ufanye hivyo? Nini unapaswa kuzingatia na kutahadhari? Hili ndilo suala tutakalodurusu leo.Ni jambo la kawaida kusikia wanandoa wakienda kwa viongozi wa dini hasa wachungaji/mashehe kutafuta suluhu ya matatizo ya ndoa zao. Je unapofanya hivyo, huwa umechunguza ndoa zao, uadiifu, ubora, hata uhovyo wao kwanza?
                Je, ni kila mchungaji ni mchungaji au wengine ni wachunaji na hata wazizi na wezi wa kawaida wanaoweza kukutumia na kuongeza ukubwa wa tatizo badala ya kulitatu?
Mfano, unakwenda kwa padri. Vizuri. Je, padri, japo amepewa mamlaka ya kufungisha ndoa, je, mambo ya ndoa anayajuaje wakati haoi wala hajaiwahi kuishi na mke ukiachia mbali hawa wenye ndoa fichi? Unaweza kujitetea kuwa amesomea.  Hata akisomea, hawezi kuwa na ujuzi na uzoefu sawa na wanandoa. Hivyo, kwenda kwa mtu kama huyu kunaweza kuwa chanzo cha kuongeza ukubwa wa tatizo.
            Wengine huenda kwa waganga wa kienyeji ambao siku hizi wameongezeka sana. Hawa hawana cha maana cha kukupa zaidi ya kukuibia, kukudhalilisha, na kukuongezea tatizo. Huu ni upumbavu wala si ujinga. Ni sawa na wale wanaokwenda kwa waganga kutafuta utajiri. Kama waganga wangekuwa na uwezo wa kukupa utajiri, inakuwaje walio wengi ni maskini tena wa kunuka? Hawa, hawafai kabisa. Uzoefu wetu tokana na utafiti hata kusikiliza yaliyowakuta waliofanya hivi unatuambia kuwa hawa ni wa kuepuka kama ukoma hata ukimwi. Kwani, wengi ni wababaishaji, wazinzi, na wezi wa kawaida tu.
        Wengine huenda kwa mashoga au maraafiki zao. Hata hivyo, kufanya hivyo, nako, kwaweza kukuza tatizo badala ya kulitatua. Ushaambiwa ndoa ni ya wawili. Je, unaaminije kuwa hawatakuwa nyongeza ya tatizo? Je, unajua matatizo yalimo kwenye ndoa zao? Ni nini wanacho ambacho wewe huna? Nini wanaweza wewe huwezi? Jiulize zaidi. Je, wao wanakuamini au kukudharau? Je, wanaaminika au hata kujali?
        Wanandoa na watalajiwa wote wajue. Kupata changamoto au matatizo kwenye ndoa siyo mwisho wake. Ni sawa na kuwa mzima na kuugua, kupata na kukosa katika maisha. Ni mambo yanayokufikirisha na kukupa jitihada, nyenzo, ubunifu, na uvumilivu wa kuyakabili na kuyatatu. Hivyo, inapotokea, unaweza kufanya yafuatayo:
        Mosi, utulize mawazo yako ili akili yako isichanganyikiwe na kukushawishi kufanya mambo ambayo si jibu bali tatizo. Unapofanya maamuzi ukiwa na haraka, hofu, au wasi wasi, yatakuwa mabaya tu.
        Pili, kama ni lazima upate msaada, nenda kwa wazazi wako baada ya kujiridhisha wanaweza kukusaidia. Maana, si wazazi wote wanaweza. Mfano, wazazi waliotalikiana au wenye matatizo walioshindwa katika ndoa yao, hawawezi kukusaidia. Wangekuwa wanaweza, basi wengetatua matatizo yao kwanza.
Tatu, fanya utafiti kwanza ili kujua aina, chanzo, ukubwa wa tatizo ili uweze kujiandaa vilivyo. Hapa ndipo inapokuja hatua ya nne.
Nne, jisomee makala na vitabu vinavyohusiana na ndoa uone kama kuna chenye tatizo kama lao ili kujua lilipotokea, wahusika walifanya nini kulitatua.
        Tano, ikizidi ikapungua, mlilie Mungu wako badala ya kujihangaisha na watu ambao nao wanayo yao tena mengine makubwa kuliko yako.
        Sita, unaweza kupata msaada kwa mwenzako. Hapa, kama wahusika mtakuwa wakweli, mkishirikiana mtapata chanzo cha tatizo na kutafuta suluhu pamoja. Ndoa ni kama baiskeli. Kama gurudumu moja kati ya maawili litapata pancha, lililobaki haliwezi kufanya kazi yoyote. Na mara nyingi, matatizo ya ndoa huanzia kwa wanandoa wenyewe iwe kwa hiari au kwa bahati mbaya.
Mnaposhirikiana wawili, kwanza, mtajua chanzo ni nani au nini na mfanye nini. 

        Pili, mtakuwa na vichwa zaidi ya kimoja. Tatu, wote mtajiona kama mko hatarini. Hivyo, mtapambana pamoja badala ya kupambana mmoja dhidi ya mwingine.
        Hata katika kudurusu na kufanyia tatizo utafiti, mtagwana maeneo ya kushughulikia mbali na kupeana maoni na ushauri au namna mnavyolielewa, kutolielewa au kuliendea tatatizo. Kwenu, huu ni msaada mkubwa.
            Mwisho, kwa kuzingatia haya, mnajua ni wapi pa kupata msaada kama ni lazima kufanya hivyo.
Chanzo: Mwananchi Jpili juzi.

Letter from Canada congrats Museveni

Dear President Yoweri Museveni,

I must admit. I admire your consistence, courage, and creativity. Anybody can hate or loathe you. Truth be told. You’re a master tactician who sees the future. Congrats on that. Though you’ve been in power for decades, you’ve always been ahead of time for decades. Who would think you’d easily and squarely trounce Bobi Wine without any chaos? I adore you because what transpired in my country last year has shown that you aren’t only a tactician but also a honest and a peaceful man per se.

          Now, let me say something about Canada where elections aren’t life-and-death matters. I see Canadians voting with the internet on. Canadian youths aren’t like African ones who waste time browsing and thereby abscond from voting. Methinks, for those who don’t understand why internet was turned off during elections, must know. It’s because you wanted them to go to vote instead of wasting their precious time browsing.

            I also congratulate Ugandans on peacefully voting for a visionary leader before and after elections. Tanzania must take a leaf from Uganda. For, during the voting period, you alluded to a rigging ploy, which indeed happened. Otherwise, you’d have won by 100%. I proudly applaud the Ugandan Electoral Commission on managing the exercise diligently. They made sure that you who poised to win won. I congratulate the UEC on distributing voting materials timely. There happened some glitches that didn’t adversely affect the quality of diligence, especially to an African country where punctuality and reality have never been important altogether.

I heard some ‘bad guys’ condemning your beloved son who warned them not to attempt to snatch your power. Don’t they know his name? What’d Muhoozi or the avenger do at such moment of truth? Congrats Gen. Muhoozi. Keep on tweeting. I honestly like your tweets.

             I must warn ‘Booby.’ Since you took power a few centuries, sorry, decades ago, you’ve proved to be a very truthful man. You say it as it is. Why did Booby and his hecklers easily forget how your avow of not letting power slink out of your safe pair hands? You fought for and liberated Uganda from Idi Amin. Thus, whoever seriously wants power must fight for it. You absolutely once said that you don’t work for anybody except for yourself. Ugandans understand this far too well. Remember? You said “I am not an employee. I hear some people saying that I am their servant; I am not a servant of anybody. I am a freedom fighter; that is why I do what I do. I don’t do it because I am your servant; I am not your servant. I am just a freedom fighter; I am fighting for myself” (Daily Monitor, January 27, 2017).

            In Canada, one runs for the public office to serve the people but not to serve himself or herself. What a foolish idea! You share one quality that those who run for public offices say their intentionality clearly. That said, in Canada, every public officer is an employee of the people. There’s no self-employment in Canadian politics. That’s how reckless our leaders are out here. 

            Another difference is that, in Canada, like Uganda, power comes by votes even though, in some circumstances, one must use the barrel of a gun. Why only through votes? Canada’s never been under stinking dictators like Amin whom you defeated. Like in Canada, Ugandans have truly proved. They know the type of ruler they need and why.

             I like how you’ve been clamorous and impervious throughout your rule. Uganda needs that. You consistently on countless occasions said that you’ll never allow Amin and the likes to return and destroy your gains. Who wants this? Again, those who don’t know this wrongly ask how and why Amin should return while he’s already dead. Yep. Amin died many years ago. Again, Aminism still exists. Whoever doubts this ‘truth truly said’, must ask TZs whom I heard sing Idi Amin Mama. Who know there can evolve one in Uganda?

            I recently heard Donald Trump of the US saying that he’d like Canada to be the US’ newest state after Greenland. Had Canada had a consistent person like you, this threat would have already been sorted out perpendicularly and mercilessly.

            In sum, I happily and honestly congratulate you and your family on your ‘avalanche’ victory. Museveni hoyeeee!

Source: Daily Monitor Sunday today.

Je, talaka inashangiliwa na kusherehekewa?

Japo inaweza kuonekana kama jambo la ajabu, siku hizi, kumeibuka fasheni au tuseme utaratibu wa baadhi ya watu kusherehekea talaka. Hili, kwa kizazi cha zamani, ni ajabu na jipya. Japo kusherehekea talaka kunaanza kuzoeleka baada ya kutangazwa sana mitandaoni, kiakili na kiuhalisia, kuna la kusherehekea na kushangilia katika talaka? Hili ndilo swali litakalotushughulisha leo.
Swali ambalo wengi wanaweza kujiuliza ni je, wahusika wanatuzunga kwa kutafuta umaarufu au kiki? Ni kweli wanafanya hivyo kutokana na furaha au kujiliwaza, kukomoana, hata changamoto ya afya ya akili?  Kwenye chapisho na Waite na wenzake (2002) la Does divorce make people happy?, walihitimisha kuwa kinachoitwa furaha ya kuachika si furaha bali mlinganisho wa masahibu aliyopitia mhusika na kuwa nje yake. Zimmermann na wenzake (2006) kwenye chapisho lao la Happily ever after? Cohabitation, marriage, divorce, and happiness in Germany walifanya utafiti nchini Ujerumani. Walihitimisha kuwa maisha ya ndoa huleta furaha na ridhiko na talaka ina athari hasi.
  Je, talaka, hata kwenye dini zinazoruhusu, ni jambo la furaha au huzuni? Anajibu Waziri wa Maendeleo ya Jamii, Jinsia, Wanawake na Makundi Maalumu, Dk Dorothy Gwajima “kikawaida ndoa ni jambo la heri na furaha, na talaka ni jambo la huzuni, ambalo haitarajiwi.”
 Je, wahusika wanakuwa na ndoa za kupanga ili zitakapovunjika wafanye sherehe na kupata wanachodhamiria? Je, zinakuwa ndoa za kweli walizoingia bila maandalizi au kwa kufuata vitu fulani ambapo wakivikosa, wanavunja ndoa na kusherehekea kujitoa kwenye kifungo cha kujitakia?
 Tukio lilotangazwa hivi karibuni nchini ni pale mama mamoja jina hatutaji, alipoarika watu kusherehekea kuachika. Hapa, pia, kuna mashaka na maswali; kwa sababu mhusika anaelezea kuwa ameachika mara tatu.
Tuzidi kudurusu. Ukitaarifiwa msiba wa ndugu ya jirani yako na ukakuta kuna sherehe na si matanga, utafanya nini? Utajenga dhana na kutoa hitimisho gani? Je, binadamu tunaanza kubadilika hadi kushabikia na kusherehekea misiba na majanga?  Kusema ukweli, ni vigumu kujua msukumo na sababu vya kufanya haya zaidi ya kutaka kiki au kukomoana kwa walioachana. Je, inawezekana wanaosherehekea, kama kweli walikuwa kwenye ndoa, ndiyo chanzo cha kuvunjika ndoa zao? Je, ni tangazo kuwa wanaotaka kuchukua mzigo wachukue au kuhalalisha mipango iliyofanyika nyuma ya pazia ambapo mtalaka hujenga mazingira ya kufanikisha kuishi na yule aliyemtaka na kusababisha kuvunja ndoa yake?
Turejee mfano wa msiba. Ukikuta mtu anashangilia na kusherehekea msiba wa ndugu yake, zaidi ya kujenga dhana kuwa ndiye muuaji, nini zaidi unaweza kudhania? Ajabu, wanaoonyesha kusherehekea talaka ni wanawake. Yupo mwanamke mkenya aliyepata umaarufu kuwa kutangaza na kueneza fasheni hii kiasi cha kuwa chanzo kizuri cha kumuingizia fedha tokana na TikTok kumlipa kwa kuwa na wafuasi wengi. Hatujaona sherehe ya kuacha iliyoandaliwa na mwanamme.
Japo bado ni mapema kutoa hukumu dhidi ya utamaduni huu mpya, tukiri. Lazima kuna tatizo fichi na kubwa. Kama jamii, tuikabili changamoto hii ili taasisi ya ndoa isibomolewe tokana na malengo na matendo ya watu wachache wenye ajenda fichi. Maana, si kawaida binadamu kupigwa akacheka badala ya kulalamika na kulia au kupata hasara akasherehehekea. 
Tumalizie na ushauri wa Dk. Gwajima aliyekaririwa akisema “wataalamu wa masuala ya ndoa, saikolojia, mahusiano, migogoro na wengine kuja na tamko baada ya kuitafiti changamoto hii ili kuepuka kuwavutia vijana wakaishia kusababisha hatari kwa ndoa zao. Kwani, bila ndoa, hata kama siku hizi watu wanaweza kuzaa nje ya ndoa, hakuna taifa. Na kama lipo hasa likitokana na utaratibu wa nje ya utaratibu uliokubalika, litakuwa ni taifa la hovyo na hatarishi.
Baadhi ya mambo ni ya kudurusu na kufikiria kwa makini na si kufuata mkumbo.

Kwa wengi, hasa wanaofunga ndoa zisizo na vipengele vya kuachana kirahisi kama wakristo, talaka haishangiliwi wala kusherehekewa. Ni msiba na bahati mbaya kwa walio wengi. Je, nini husababisha kusherehekea talaka? Mbali na utamaduni na malengo ya wahusika, si rahisi kutoa jibu moja au mawili.

Chanzo: Mwananchi J'pili leo.

Nisameheni mafyatu waliotekwa na kupotezwa

Kwa ndugu zangu wapendwa mliofyatuliwa,
 Nawakumbuka sana nisameheni bure. Nawakumbuka akina Ali Kibaooo, Mdudu Nyangarika, Hamp Slowslow, Saa Eight et al. Naomba mzingatie haya. Kama mko hai, mtafurahi na kufarijika kuwa bado mnakumbukwa. Kama mshafyatuliwa, wapendwa wenu watayasoma na kuyahifadhi kwa ajili yenu. Nisameheni kuchelewa kuwasiiana nanyi.
Pia, niweka wazi. Nalaani jinai, unyama, na ukatili wa kutekana, kupotezana na kuuana. Japo wapo wanaofanya hivi kwa kisingizio cha kulinda kaya, kaya hailindwi kwa baadhi ya mafyatu kuwafyatua wenzao kana kwamba wao ndiyo wana hati milki ya kaya. Jinai hii ni mbaya kuliko unyama hata ushetani. Lazima tuilaani na kupiga vita hadi tuitokomeze kabla haijaangamiza kaya.
Kwa wanaongamiza wenzao tena kulinda madhambi na tamaa vyao wanapaswa waambiwe. Nao watakufa hata kama siyo leo. Wenzetu wanatucheka na kutushangaa tulivyo makatili na hayawani. Hatuwezi kuwa kaya huru lakini baadhi wakanyang’anywa HAKI ya kuishi. Hatuwezi kuwa huru ilhali huvumilii maoni na mawazo yanayopingana na yako. Tushindane kwa hoja na si viroja na unyama jamanini.
        Kwa waliofyatuliwa, kupotezwa, na kunyotolewa roho, siku nyingi zimepita tangu mfyatuliwe baada ya kufyatua na kutishia kuwafyatu waliowafyatua na kuendelea kutufyatua mafyatu wasiofyatuka wakafyatua hadi wakawa siku zote wanafyatuliwa kirejareja tena na mazwazwa. Najua. Familia zetu zinaumia na kuteseka kwa sababu ya unyama wa mafyatu wachache wanaotenda kama vile wataishi milele. Kila kitu tunakikuta na tutakiacha. Hata uteke, upote na uue namna gani, hutamaliza mafyatu. Wengine watazaliwa na kukupinga tu. Hata ujihadae vipi, kuondoa uhai wa fyatu mwenzako utakuandamana na ukose amani na raha hata ufiche au kujifanya hayakuhusu vipi. Akina Hitler, Amin, Mussolini, Pol Pot na manyang’au wengine walifyatu mafyatu kwa mamilioni. Wako wapi?
        Kwa wahanga, msikonde. Sir God anawaona watesi wenu. Japo siku hizi HAKI ni machukizo kwa baadhi ya wenzetu, kuna siku siku HAKI itatendeke. Kama Sir God ataahirisha kuwafyatua, atatuliza tu ila si kuzuia. Zao zaja. Kwani, damu yenu itaamka na kulipiza kisasi kama si kwao, basi, kwa vizazi vyao. Kwa taaluma na uzoefu wangu kama profesa emeritus, wote waliojifyatua akili nao roho zao haziko sawa. Wanaungua bila kusema wala kunung’unika waziwazi.

        Nyuma ya pazia, wanaungua na kuumia. Kuna moto unawachoma taratibu. Mateso yao hayapimiki. Wanaishi kwa hofu na wasi wasi.
Wapendwa, hamjasahaulika wala kupuuziwa. Mko, na daima mtakuwa, mioyoni mwetu kama mashujaa. Hamtasahaulika daima. Nani chizi awasahau au kujifanya hamkufyatuliwa? Japo hawapo wanaojitoa ufahamu na kutetea vitu badala ya ufyatu, niaminini. Hawatakaa waionje hiyo amani mawenge na uchwara wasingiziayo. Nahisi hasira na uchungu ninaposikia wadudu wakitaka kuhadaa mafyatu. 
        Yupo huyu mwehu aliyeko juu aitwaye Mkumbokumbo anayetaka mafyatu wafuate mkumbo na kuamini urongo na uzwazwa wake. Anadai mafyatu wanachukiwa kwa sababu ya ukwasi wao! Ukwasi upi na tangia lini? Nani anafaidi huu ukwasi uchwara ugawiwao kwa wenye akili tena kwa hongo za peremende? 
        Wamejua kututenda. Wamelikoroga, halafu wanadai tatizo si wao japo ni wao ila maadui wa kufikirika toka ghaibu! Ni uzwazwa kiasi gani? Hao wanaoshutumiwa kuwahonga njuluku mabarubaru aka mabeberu walianza lini kuwa maadui ilhali, siku zote, wamekuwa wakifadhili mafyatu hadi tukawaita wafadhili? Wakimwga njuluku zikapigwa bila kuhoji, wanaitwa wafadhili. Kama kweli ni mabeberu, inakuwaje nasikia umbea kuwa kuna jitihada za kutafuta washawishi na wapiga chapuo wawashawishi wasamehe mipayuko yenu? Kuna haja mafyatu wazima tuache utoto. Tuamue kusema ukweli. Haiwezekani wafadhili wetu wageuke mabeberu leo siyo jana. 
        Huwa sipendi kigeugeu na urushi. Kwanini wawe wafadhili wakinyamaza? Ajabu, wakifyatuka na kustukia gemu wakahoji, tunawaita mabeberu. Nani mabeberu kati ya wao na wale warongo, wabangaizaji, na wasanii watapatapao. Kama ubeberu ni jinai, waliofyatua mafyatu wetu ndiyo mabeberu. Uzuri wa ‘mabeberu’ hawauia wala kuibia mafyatu wao. Isistoshe, sisi siyo mbuzi majike? Kwa mafyatu, mabeberu si tishio. Wakija, tunawachinja na kuwageuza kitoweo saaafi kama kweli wapo.
            Huwa nashangaa sana mabeberu wanapoiwaita washitili wao mabeberu wakati mabeberu ni wao. Kama ubeberu ni kosa, mabeberu tunao Fyatuland wakitubeberu wakisingizia mabeberu wa kufikirika. Fyatu nakataa kata kata. Beberu gani anaweza kufyatua mafyatu tena wanaofyatuliwa kwa kuishi kwa kula ugali kwa pilipili? Kazi ya beberu ni kuzalisha majike na si kuua wana mbuzi. Kama kweli kuna mabeberu, wakija, wakamateni, wachinjeni lau tuondokane na ukame wa kukosa kiteweo. Chonde chonde waonye mabeberu. Mafyatu tutawafyatua na kuwageuza kitoweo.
Kama kweli maadui wa mafyatu ni mabeberu ninaowajua, hawana haja ya kulalamika bali kuwakamata na kuwafyatua. Kama si hao bali wao hao wanaodai kuna mabeberu wakati wao ndiyo wao hao, tuache kufyatuana kirejareja. Tuambizane ukweli na kuacha kujitoa ufahamu kwa kiherehere kama yule jamaa mbayuwayu.

Chanzo: Mwananchi J'tano leo.

Canada’s lesson to Africa’s unification

Many East Africans never actualised its profits individually and nationally. Why? Today, I’ll use Canada’s confederacy of ten provinces and three territories and its population of 41 million as one of the richest countries globally to show the lesson Africa can learn. Canada’s GDP is USD 2.3tn compared to Africa’s  GDP of USD 2.8tn with its population of 1.55 billion.
If Canada were divided into 13 countries, its economic clout would vaporise right away. It’d perilously and pointlessly give birth to trifling countries that’d burn billions of dollars on military budgets and purchasing weapons to protect themselves against their neighbours who happen to be Canadians as well. Imagine. How much the tiniest of all, Prince Edward Island with 182,657 homos, would throw away to fear-driven military expenditures just like African colonial-tailored states have always done? The upshot’s simple. If all African states could divulge their military budgets and those of their ever corrupt, extravagating, and thieving rulers, it’s obvious. They’ve what it takes to finance their own development and social services. 
        Arguably, Africa’s capable of improving our live if it can save billions of dollars burnt to colonially calculated divisions and fearmongering. This anomaly doesn’t need an ace mathematician to debunk. According to the World Bank (2020), Canada’s 2019 military expenditure stood at 1.3% of its GDP compared to ever-begging South Sudan 3.4% ; Uganda 2.1% ; Burundi 1.8%; Tanzania 1.3%; Kenya; and Rwanda 1.2%, which makes an average of 1.8% for the EAC, which 5 points higher than Canada.
        Apart from military expenditure, how many billions of dollars Africa spends on feeding its do-nothing Presidents and keeping its colonial borders safe? Surely, Africa’s what it takes to become a world economic supremo without begging as it currently is. There are those who may doubt the viability of such an anecdotal proposal due to the fear that Western countries won’t like the idea of unifying Africa. For how long will Africa feed on and internalise colonial fear?
        Rwanda’s once Francophone. After the 1994 genocide, Rwanda became Anglophone; and nobody stood in its way despite this not auguring well with France. Rwanda pressed on; and stood its ground. Again, for how long will Africans fear the West as if it’s their God? Methinks. We don’t fear God this much. We still commit sins. Let’s commit this sin of pragmatically and truly reuniting Africa commencing with the wobbly EAC. Let’s give it a try. For, we’ve nothing to lose except our shame and sufferings.
        Essentially, the fear of the unknown prevents Africa from being reunited to become stronger. Besides, our rulers’ fear, individuality, greed, and myopia are the major blockages. If Canada were divided, the democracy it enjoys would vanish. Single election would bankrupt the new countries. How much money would it burn on elections just like it’s been in slapdash and rigged elections that produce but just the same rotten and venal rulers?
        What’s more, by having their individual interests secured at the detriment of their future, African countries still blindly plot to use each other for individual interests and those of colonisers instead of working together for true emancipation. This can’t and won’t work. Commandeered in their paltry interests, African countries are comfortably divided among themselves, and their people based on rash and trivial things such as flummery and flummoxed sovereignty. That’s why countries with bigger land mass and voluminous resources have always been seen as a stumbling block to the unification of East Africa. Again, did these countries apply to be what they’re namely colonial-design structures? 
 Canada’s confederacy has big and small members. Comparably, Quebec is 62% of the East Africa but still coexists with the PEI, which is just 0.2 of the EAC just like Zanzibar that’s just 0.36 of the United Republic.
        I, for one, am an unflagging advocate of a single unitary Africa that’ll demolish faux borders and abolish divisions based on feeble and pseudo sovereignties. I’d like to see the current Presidents hitting the road to give room for one President of Africa or the EAC. If this happens, we won’t be complaining about the dictators that want to illegally die in power or suffering from their brutality and their private but public kept armies. For, without reunifying Africa to the tune of what it’s prior to 1884, all we’re cosmetically doing’s but feeding a black hole. Why’s it difficult to think as one nation instead of thinking like useless colonial-sired states we jealously protect for our peril? Call that the lesson from Canada. Hastas entonces.

Source: Daily Monitor Sunday today.

Wajue Wamosou ndoa zao za ajabu

Nchini China na Mongolia, kuna jamii ya watu waitwao Mosou. Ni watu wanaoshika mila kwelikweli. Baadhi ya mila zao hasa kuhusiana na ndoa, zinaweza kukuchanganya, kukushangaza hata kutisha. Kwanza, wao ni matrilineal, yaani, katika jamii hii, mtoto huchukua ubini toka upande wa mama na si baba kama kwetu na jamii nyingi duniani. Hii ni tofauti na dunia nzima ambayo ni patrilineal tokana na kuendeshwa na mfumo dume ambapo ubini wa mtu hutoka kwa baba na si mama. Mfumo wao ni mfumo jike haswa. Japo hapa Tanzania tumewahi kuwa na jamii za namna hii kama vile Wamakua, ambao pia hupatikana sana nchini Msumbiji utamaduni, huu ulikufa zamani.
       Hii, pia, ipo kwenye jamii za Wakikuyu na Wakamba wa Kenya. Mama akijifungua mtoto ambaye hamjui baba yake, humpa ubin wake. Hivyo, usishangae kusikia watu maarufu kama wanamuziki maarufu nchini Kenya kama Ken wa Maria au Kim wa Regina.
Wamosuo wajulikanao kama the Kingdom of Women au himaya ya akina mama. Kwao, mke na mume hawaishi pamoja kama tuishivyo sisi na wala wanaume hawawajibiki kisheria kutunza wala kumilki watoto waliowazalisha. Kila mmoja anaishi kwake na wanakutana au kuachana wakati wowote wanapotaka na kutafuta mwingine. Japo ni kawaida kukuta wawili waishio kama mke na mume, bado hii haiwazuii kuwa na washirika wa ndoa wengine nje ya ndoa hii ambalo ni jambo la kawaida linalofanyika na kukubalika katika jamii hii. Pia, hakuna idadi ya washirika katika uhusiano inayoruhusiwa wala kukatazwa bali suala na uamuzi binafsi wa wahusika.
Kwa vile safu hii ni ya masuala ya ndoa, leo, tutawaletea ndoa za ajabu za Wamusuo. Katika jamii, wanawake wana nguvu na ushawishi mkubwa juu ya familia na ndoa. Wanaruhusiwa kuwa na wanaume wengi kwa wakati mmoja na watoto wanaozaliwa tokana na mahusiano haya ni mali ya mama. 
Pia, jamii ya Wahimba ya kule Namibia inasifika kwa ukarimu kiasi cha mume kumruhusu mkewe kulala na mgeni kama ishara ya upendo na urafiki. Huu utaratibu unaitwa okujepisa omukazendu yaani ishara ya ukarimu na urafiki. Hata hivyo, mke anaweza kukubali au kukataa kulala na mgeni.
Tukirejea kwa Wamusuo, kama ilivyo kwa baadhi ya jamii na dini ambapo mwanaume anaruhusiwa kuwa na wake zaidi ya mmoja, kadhalika nao, mwanamke anaruhusiwa kuwa na wanaume zaidi ya mmoja na hakuna ugomvi.
Kwetu sisi wenye wivu, kuna jambo ambalo Wamusuo hawana. Nalo ni wivu wa mapenzi. Kwani, wanaweza kuwa na wivu wa kugombea uongozi au mali lakini si mapenzi! Mila na utamaduni huu vimewashangaza  wachunguzi na wasomi wengi wa mambo ya kijamii hasa baada ya kugundua kuwa katika jamii hii hakuna unyanyasaji wa kina mama au kina baba. Katika jamii kuna aina ya ndoa kuu inayojulikana kama walking marriage, zouhun, au ndoa inayotembea ambapo wahusika huwa na uhusiano wa kindoa wa muda. Mmoja au wote wakichoka au kuchokana, kila mmoja huacha kumtembelea mwenzake na kutafuta mwingine na mambo huishia hapo.
Katika jamii akina mama au daba, wana mamlaka makubwa juu ya mali na maisha ya familia. Akina mama huwarithisha mamlaka mabinti zao sawa nasi tunavyowarithisha watoto wetu wa kiume. Hii ni kutokana na ukweli kuwa wanawake wa Kimasuo huwa hawaolewi wala kuishi pamoja kama kwenye ndoa zetu ambapo wawili huwacha familia zao na kwenda kuishi peke yao na kuanzisha na kulea familia. Badala yake huwakaribisha wanaume kuishi na hata kuzaa nao na kila mtu kuchukua hamsini zake. Pia, katika mahusiano ya ndoa ya Kimasuo, hakuna umilki wa pamoja wa mali.
Cha mno, katika jamii hii hakuna kitu kinaitwa ndoa kama tukijuavyo ambapo wawili huingia mkataba wa kudumu kulingana na aina ya ndoa. Kwa Wamosuo, hakuna cheti cha ndoa au ulazima wa mtu kumganda na kuishi na mwenzake. Hivyo, yeyote anaweza kumchagua yoyote wakaishi kwa muda watakao na watakavyo. Hiyo ndiyo ndoa ya Kimasuo.

Chanzo: Mwananchi J'pili leo.

Tulaani na kundunisha udini wa kudunisha dini zetu

Fyatuland ina visa, visasi, vitimbi, vitimbwiliko usipime. Japo, tunaonyesha kuanyamazia na kuwashabikia, kuna mafyatu wanaofyatuka hovyo hovyo wakicheleta na kuchezea hatari wasijue zahama wanayotengeza. Wapo mafyatu uchwara waliojipa, sijui kupewa vibali vya ‘kuvuruga’ amani wakidai na kujifanya wanaitetea. Sijui nani huyu mchizani anayewatuma hawa wahuni, apate nini, na iwe nini? Nijuavyo, dini ni suala la kibinafsi. Inapoanza kugeuzwa suala la umma na kuanza kuuma umma, ujue mwisho na matokeo yake ni zahama kama siyo kiama tena vya kujitakia. Yote ni matokeo na kujipendekeza, kujikomba, njaa, na uzwazwa.

            Fyatuland haina dini ila madini kama urani(um) ya bwana nonihino bingwa wa kufyatuka fyatuka na kupayuka payuka  bila kufikiri. Sijui viumbe habithi kama hawa huwa wanajisikiliza au kusikiliza wale wanaowaonya. Linatoka fyatu, sijui baada ya kula ndumu au ulabu, linafyatuka na kutishia kukata mafyatu vichwa. Kwani, lenyewe halina kichwa au linacho ila cha panzi? Ajabu, hata mafyatu wenye heshima zao wanakubaliana na uduni na uhuni huu uliojifunika udini usio na lolote wala chochote bali kujitoa ufahamu na kuishiwa akili na busara. Ni aibu fyatu mzima kujifanya hamnazo na kufanya mambo ya kitoto halafu akataka aitwe mtu mzima! Mtu mzima au mtu mzima hovyo?

            Kwa taarifa yenu, dini, mikakati uchwara, njaa, na kujikomba kwenu havitufai wala hatuvihitaji. Kama wataka siasa, vua gwanda la udini duni, na uvae la siasa utie timu uwanjani tukuone, kukusikia, na kukusikiliza kabla hatujakulaani na kukudharau. Inakuwaje mafyatu hawa laanifu wanajifanya kutetea mafyatu wazima tena wenye power kana kwamba ni watoi wachanga? Hovyo kabisa. Mjue. Tunawajua na hata uhovyo na uduni wenu.

            Msitake kutifua historia chafu ya dini hasa zilivyosaidia kueneza ukoloni, na sasa, uzwazwa wa kuamini miujiza ya uongo vinavyowasumbua mafyatu wetu. Juzi, kaya jirani, ilifuta hizi dini duni kibao za kujipachika, kuchonganisha, na kuwaibia mafyatu. Mijitu yenyewe iliogopa umande. Ajabu, inajitia kujuajua wakati haijui kitu bali kuganga njaa na utapeli vya wazi. Je, nani aliwaroga mafyatu hadi baadhi yao wanafyatuka na kufyatua vitu vya hovyo na hatarishi bila kuwashikisha adabu?

            Japo si wote, tuna matapeli wengi wa kiduni aka gwajimmy et mashehetani sasa kuliko wakati wowote katika historia ya Fyatuland. Fyatu, tena tapeli na vivu la wazi, linaamka asubuhi na kujivisha vyeo vikubwa na vitakatifu. Ukiuliza limesomea lini, nini, na wapi, linaanza stori za Fyatu na Fyatuzi. Ho, nilikutana na Jizazi, mara hivi mara vile. Kumbaff kabisa. Muiache Fyatuland yetu. Ukisikia kuisha na kuishiwa ndiyo huku. Dingi zima linafyatuka vitu ambavyo hata machizi na wapiga ndumu wala walevi hawawezi kwa kuchelea aibu na kutiwa adabu.

            Hakuna kinanisononesha na kushangaza kama tunavyowavumilia waharibifu hawa waliojaa uduni waliojificha kwenye udini na uhuni uchwara. Tuwafichue, tuwalaani, kuwaonya, na kuwaadhibu kabla hatujaharibikiwa. Ukichanganya matapeli haya na siasa za majitaka, ndo usiseme. Leo, wanaweza kujifanya wanakupenda ilhali wakuponda ukahadaika usijue hawana tofauti na vyangudoa wa kawaida. Lao ni tonge hata wapewe na fisi au fisadi.

            Wapo wanaojifanya wanaipenda kaya wakati wanaichukia kwa machukizo wanayotenda. Wanapanua vinywa vyao vichafu na kufyatuka uchafu hadi wote tunaonekana wachafu na mataahira. Fyatu Mfyatuzi si mwoga wala taahira. Napanga kuomba kibali cha kuwashughulikia hawa matapeli hadi wakome na kukomaa kabla hawajatukomoa. Hawa ni ndumilakuwili au sigara kali. Inakuwaje fyatu zima linalojitia zimo kutetea amani tena ya imani na kusaza haki? Je, waweza kuwa na amani bila haki? Heri kuwa na haki kwanza. Kwani, italeta amani. Amani hata ifagiliwe na kulindwa vipi, haiwezi kushamiri miongoni mwa ubatili na ukosefu wa haki. Amani gani wakati mafyatu wanatekwa, kupotezwa, hata kunyotolewa roho? Amani gani wakati baadhi ya mafyatu wanapiga njuluku zetu, kuhomola, kuhondomola ilhali wakitubagaza na kutubananga?

            Sambamba na wanasiasa wenye visa na visasi wafyatukao bila mdomo na ubongo kuwasilishana ni kero na tishio kwa kaya yetu. Wapo walioshiba kiasi cha kutapika na kunonihino mle mle wanamolia utadhani mainzi mafu! Linakurupuka fyatu tena lenye maulaji makubwa na kuwasimanga mafyatu wachovu. Linaunda hila na uongo na kuwageuza mataahira wakati wana akili timamu. Kwani, hatuwajui wapigaji wetu? Kwani, hatujui hata rongorongo zao? Mbona kila kitu kiko wazi?

            Njaa haina mwisho hata uivalie kibwaya vipi. Njaa ni kansa inayosumbua Fyatuland ambapo wachache wanashiba ilhalil kaumu ikisota njaa. Halafu, linatokea zwazwa linasema eti tu matajiri kiasi cha matajiri na washiri wetu kutuonea wivu! Kwa visa, visasi, na uduni huu! Tulaani vikali na kudunisha udini duni unaotaka kudunisha dini na kaya yetu. Heri ya mwaka mpya.  Hapa natia nukta. Waktabahu, ila al-liqa.

Chanzo: Mwananachi leo J'tano.

           

Mfugo unapowaita mafyatu ‘mifugo'!

Juzi, nilifyatuka nusu kufyatua mkumbaff mmoja. Si nilisikia mfugo–––tena mkubwa tu–––unaopayuka kuliko hata aliyeufuga. Ulidai eti mafyatu wanaoishi ghaibu wanafugwa kama wenyewe. Nani, vipi, na kwanini? Huko, hawali dezo kama huu. Hawapigi, hawababaishi, wala kuongopa. Hakuna usanii, uchawa, ufunza, au ukunguni. Unawaita mafyatu waanimo kwa vile wewe ni muanimo? Nani afugwe iwe home au kisiasa? 

Ughaibuni, mafyatu wanabeba maboksi, kulipa kodi, kutuma dolari home. Hawapigi kodi za mafyatu. Hawakopikopi wala kubomubomu wala kupiga wapewacho. Hawashirikiani na wachukuaji waitwao wawekaji. Pia, hawana uchumi wanaoukalia kama mifugo inayowashutumu kuwa mifugo wakati si mifugo wa yeyote kama hii inayoibia mafyatu na kuwatumia kubomu na kupiga.
            Ughaibuni, hakuna ulevi wa maulaji ya dezo.  Kule kuna uchapakazi na uwajibikaji. Hakuna mifugo, wadudu, wala ulevi zaidi ya kupiga mzigo. Kama mafyatu wa ughaibuni ni mifugo, mbona wanawafuga mafyatu wa kayani hadi hao wanaoshiba na kunonihino kwa midomo wanawashawishi wawekeze kaya? Tangu lini aliyefugwa akafuga mbwa? Kuweni na aibu jamani.
            Kaya jirani, mafyatu wa ughaibuni wanaenziwa kama kuku watagao mayai ya dhahabu. Kwani, wanaingiza mamilioni ya dolari kwa kuwekeza au kuwatumia jamaa zao. Fyatuland, wanachukiwa hadi kuitwa mifugo ilhali wanaogopewa wasichukue fursa za walevi wa maulaji wasio na ubunifu wala ithibati na kujiamini kupambana nao kishua. Kwani, hatujui? 

        Unapoongea na mafyatu, ujikumbushe au kukumbushwa kuwa wana akili tena timamu na kubwa kuliko hata zako. Wengine ni wabukuzi wa kweli na mahiri kuliko hawa wa kuungaunga. Ughaibuni usishangae kuona mzoa taka akitinga kibaruani na ndinga kama mnene wa uswekini. Huko, kazi ni kazi si kuchagua kazi. Pia, hakuna ving’ora uchwara vya kujipendelea.
            Huwashangaa sana mafyatu wa hovyo wafugwao. Ukimpa doshi, anakuita mafadhili. Ukimfyatua ukamkosoa anavyofyatua na kutumia vibaya msaada ulichompa, anakuita beberu! Ebo! Tujitofautishe na mbuzi jike? Ukifugwa, usijidanganye kudhani wenzio wanafugwa. Ukiwa zwazwa, usidhani wenzio mazwazwa. Kama siyo Tunda Lishe, wengine sijui hata kama wangekanyaga hapo wanapopanonihino na kukufuria wasijue kacheo ni dhamana au koti mwilini.
            Heri mafyatu waishio ughaibuni wanaoweza kulisha mafyatu wa kayani kuliko wapigaji waishio kwenye mabega, migongo yao, wakiwatumia kubomubomu. Ukiwauliza kwanini wanaishi bure wakati wanaowatukana ndiyo wanaowalipia kuanzia kula, home, michuma, mishahara, marupurupu, na hata hizo nguo wanazovaa, hawana jibu. Watakuita majina mabaya. 

        Hakuna kilichonisitisha na kunifyatua hadi kufyatuka kama kugundua kuwa huyu zwazwa mkubwa aliyefyatua haya eti aitwa mbukuzi. Kabukua nini? Fyatu lenyewe tena lililoghushi linawatukana mafyatu wetu mashujaa wanaotuwakilisha ghaibuni? Kwani, mafisi na mafisadi wote wanaishi aka kufugwa wako ughaibu? Mbukuzi gani anayejumuisha mambo badala ya kuwa sceintific and specific? Tumuiteje zaidi ya zwazwa?!!
                Kisa tajwa kilinikumbusha namna mafyatu walivyonizodoa nikajiona zwazwa tena mfugo. Si waliishiwa ma-water. Nami, kutaka kuwafunga kamba si nikafyatuka na kupayuka kuwa tatizo ni tabia kaya. Baada ya Fyatuland kukumbwa na ukame, si, kwa uzwazwa na ubukuzi wa kuungaunga, nikafyatuka na kupayuka kuwa hili ni tatizo la dunia nzima. Kabla ya kuendelea, bi mkubwa mama Mfyatuko, alinijongelea na kuniuma sikio “dear, mbona Asia kuna mafuriko au na Fyatuland iko huko?” Lol. Si niliaibika. Kama fyatu zwazwa tajwa hapo juu, nami niliwalaumu mifugo kwa kufuga na kufunga akili zangu hadi nikapayuka kizwazwa. Mwenzenu niliaibika japo nilijitoa ufahamu na kujifanya hamnazo na kuendelea kuronga.
            Nimegundua kitu. Kumbe na ulaji wa dezo unalevya na kufyatua hadi fyatu mzima unafyatuka kama chizi au shehetani wa kufyatua vichwa! Juzi, fyatu mmoja kaniomba lift. Kwa kujiamini, nilimuuliza inakuwaje hana ndinga wakati zimejaa barabarani. Uzuri, huyu fyatu hakunifyatukia wala kujibu kifyatu wala kilevi kama huu mfugo. Alinidharau na kuuchuna.
            Siku nyingine, mafyatu walilalamikia ufyatuaji wangu na wafyatuaji wenzangu. Badala ya kuwapa majibu yanayoingia akilini si niliwaambia kuwa huu ni mchezo uliokuwa umeandaliwa na kuchezwa ghaibu! Wakati nifyatuka hivi, si fyatu mmoja akafyatuka na kunitolea uvivu na kuuliza “hivi mkuu huwa kinywa na mlomo wako vina mawasiliano au ugomvi?” Nilimuuliza alikuwa akimaanisha nini. Alijibu kuwa, kila nikironga huwa anaona kama kuna mgongano baina ya viungo hivi vya mwili mmoja.
            Kuna mwanafalsa mmoja maarufu aliyetangulia mbele ya haki. Alituasa kuwa unapochonga, ubakize akiba kwa vile hujui ya kesho. Tuliwaona mafyatu wangapi wenye vichwa na vifua tena vya haja? Walikuwapo akina Mkwavinyika Muyigumba Wamuyinga almaaruf Mkwawa, Mtyela Kasanda aka Milambo, Nyungu ya Mawe, mzee Nchonga, Jiwe, na wengine. Wako wapi?
Nimalize kwa kuwasihi wote. 

Tuache madharau. Fikiri na jisikilize kabla ya kupayuka. Mbona tunajitoa ufahamu na kuwa na kiherere wakati ni jana tu tulikuwa na Mwamba Jiwe. Yuko wapi? Ama kweli, simba akifa, usishangae panya kula ngozi yake au walevi kukojolea makaburi ya watakatifu. Ulevi si kanywaji tu. Hata msosi, tena wa dezo, unalewesha. Kweli, hujafa, hujaumbika. Nani alitegemea wala kuwazia kuyashuhudia haya? Kuna haja ya kuheshimiana. Kwani, hewala si utumwa.
Chanzo: Mwananchi J'tano leo.

Tunataka usuluhishi, si usulubishi na usulutishi

Kwanza, nitoe salamu zangu, za Bi Mkubwa, na watoi tunapofunga na kuanza mwaka. Kipekee, nichukue fursa hii kuwakumbuka na kuwaombea ambao hawakuumaliza wala hawatauona mwaka mpya waliokufa ima kwa vifo vya kawaida au vya kufyatuliwa, waliotekwa, na kupotezwa hata waliowafanyia kitu mbaya nikiwataka waache na kumaliza na kuanza mwaka kwa nia safi kabisa.

 Tumalize mwaka na kuuanza mwingine kwa usalama si kwa kufungana kamba na kuumizana au kuitwishana mkenge. Turidhiane kweli kweli na si kuridhishana na kuendeleza upuuzi ule ule ili tusionekane hamnazo wala wanafiki waliojitoa ufahamu. Aaaamina.

Nije kwenye inshu. Mafyatu walipofyatua, si walifyatuliwa hadi kukawa kufyatuana! Baada ya kugundua kuwa kufyatuana na kufyatukiana hakuwafikishi mbali, sasa nasikia kamba za usuluhishi! Usuluhishi au usulutishi? Nani anasuluhishwa na nani na kwanini na ili iweje? Nifyatue wazi. Ili kuepuka kuendelea kufyatua, kufyatuana na kufyatuliwa, lazima huu usuluhishi uwe usuluhishi. Nani anataka usulubishi tena kwa usulutishi, ulushi na magumashi?

            Kama profesa emeritus wa migogoro na utatuzi wake, leo nafyatua lecture ya bure. Najitolea bure lau kusaidia mafyatu na kaya yetu tusiendelee kufyatuana na hata kunyotoana roho. Kitaaluma, tuna kitu kinaitwa give and take kinacholenga kufikia win-win situation. Ili kufikia hapa, mosi, lazima wahusika wawe wakweli. Wakubwa na wadogo hukosea. Waelezane ukweli kwa ukweli na uhuru na si kuzidiana ujanja, ujanja ujanja, na sanaa. Pili, waathirka lazima wapewe nafasi ya ku-vent au kutapika nyongo. Tatu, lazima watuhumiwa wawe na kifua si cha kupinga au kufyatuana bali kuwasikiliza wale waliowafyatua na kuomba msamaha au kuwajibika. Nne, lazima kuwepo na yule tunayemuita third party ambaye sina kimakonde chake. Huyu, lazima awe ni fyatu anayeaminiwa au wanaoaminika na wahusika wote. Sitaki niwachoshe na lugha za kitaaluma na kifyatu.

            Sasa, nini kifanyike?

            Hapa, kuna mambo kadhaa muhimu ya kufanya ndiposa usuluhishi, siyo usulubishi wala usulutishi, uanze.

Mosi, lazima tukiri kosa au makosa ambayo, kimsingi, ndiyo yanayosukuma kuwapo usuluhishi.

Pili, lazima iundwe tume––––si timu ya kufadhiliana, kulindana, kupendeleana, na kupeana ulaji wa dezo–––ya kuchunguza kadhia zima. Je, nani aiunde? Ili hii tume ikubalike kwa pande zote, lazima wahusika washirikiane kuiunda kuepuka na kuepusha mtuhumiwa au mhalifu kuwa mlalamikaji, mwendesha mashitaka, karani wa mahakama, mahakama, na hakimu katika kesi yake. Kwa waliosoma sharia, kimakonde, hii, ni katazo na uvunjaji wa haki usio kifani. Huitwa nemo judex in causa sua.

Tatu, kwa kuangalia mambo yanavyokwenda ambapo upande mmoja unataka kuutwisha mwingine mkenge uonekane makenge, nimewiwa kufyatua hii kitu lau nifungie na kufungulia mwaka. Hapa, nasisitiza kuhusu kuundwa kwa tume ya maridhiano si maridhishano, usuluhishi, siyo usulutishi n usulubishi. Nasema wazi. Tume yoyote ambayo haiakisi haya si tume bali timu ya kupendelea wale walioiunda ili kuwaepushia lawama wanazostahiki. Hapa, walalamikiwa lazima wakubalia lawama na kufanya hivyo siyo makosa wala udhaifu bali nguvu.  Kimsingi, timu kama hii haitatua tatizo bali kulikuza. Inakosa kile ambacho kimakonde tunaita impartiality, yaani kutoegemea upande. Tukumbuke, amlipaye mpiga zumari ndiye huitisha wimbo. Tahadharini hili.

            Nne, suala jingine nyeti ni je, ni nani amchunguze nani na kupata nini? Hapa, niseme wazi. Kama tutaamua kusuluhishana, tusuluhishane na si kusulutishana ili tusipoteze fursa na muda. Kuna usemi kuwa sometimes, a conflict can present an opportunity if it is addressed constructively. Hivyo, tutafute chanzo cha yote na kukishughulikia kisayansi na kwa nia safi tukijiapiza na kuapa kutorudia uzwazwa uliotufikisha tulipofikishwa na waliotufikisha pale. Kusuluhishana kwa kweli si kupeleka kesi ya ngedere ya kula mahindi kwa nyani au kesi ya paka na panya kwa kwa chui.

 Tano, baada ya uchunguzi huru na wa kweli kukamilika, linakuja suala na swali la nani awe mshitaki na nani awe mshitakiwa? Tulenge kuepusha ukenge wa mshitaki kuwa mshitakiwa na mshitakiwa kuwa mshitaki kama ilivyo kwa sasa ambapo mkosefu anamlaumu aliyemkosea tena bila aibu wala sababu isipokuwa ukosefu wa aibu, utu, na mizania kimamlaka. Kwenye usuluhishi wa kweli, pande mbili zinakuwa na hadhi na kutenzwa sawa bila kujali nani ni nani.

 Sita, tukimaliza kujua pande mbili husika ambazo kimsingi na kitaaluma, ndizo hufanya kesi iwe ya kimahakama au ya usuluhishi, tunakuja na suala jingine. Je, nini adidu za rejea? Bila kuwa nazo, mambo mengi yasiyopaswa yataibuliwa na kufanya usuluhishi kuwa usulubishi kwa wasuluhishaji.

Mwisho, tukifanya hayo, tukumbuke. Pande mbili husika zina hasira na nyingine hata jinai. Hivyo, kila fyatu atajitahidi kuja na za kuja ili aonekane hana makosa. Je, nani atamfunga paka kengele bila kufanyiwa au kufanyiana ukenge?

Heri ya Mwaka Mpya.

Chanzo: Mwananchi Jtano, leo.