Sijui wapi hapa ni wavivu wa kufikiri!

Kipanya wakati mwingine hupayuka kwelikweli kiasi cha kuacha watu wakijicheka wakidhani wanawacheka wengine. Sijui kama bwana Benjamin Mkapa na Jakaya Kikwete wanasoma au kusomewa darasa hili la Kipanya.

Katiba Mpya - Madaraka ya Rais yapunguzwe

INGAWA Katiba Mpya haijaandikwa na Watanzania wametakiwa kutoa maoni yao, kuna mambo muhimu kuliko mengine ambayo tunapaswa kuzingatia katika kuandika Katiba Mpya.
Leo tutaongelea mamlaka ya kupita kiasi ya rais yanayoweza kumfanya awe fisadi na dikteta hata bila kutaka.
Historia ya uhuru wa Tanzania inaonesha kuwa tumekuwa na rais ambaye anaonekana yuko juu ya sheria. Tunaweza kusema kuwa ni rais mfalme kwa lugha nyepesi.
Hii ni kuanzia awamu ya kwanza hadi ya sasa. Tutajaribu kuonesha upungufu ya kuwa na rais aliyeko juu ya sheria na mwenye madaraka yasiyoweza kudhibitiwa (unchecked powers).
Chini ya utawala wa Awamu ya Kwanza wa hayati Mwalimu Julius Nyerere pamoja na uadilifu wake, kuna kipindi tulikuwa na Rais (Nyerere), Mwanasheria Mkuu (Joseph Warioba), Mkuu wa Majeshi (David Msuguri na wengine kutoka Mara), Gavana wa Benki Kuu (Charles Nyirabu) na Katibu wa rais (Joseph Nyerere ambaye ni mjomba wa Nyerere) kutoka mkoa mmoja wa Mara kwa vile rais alikuwa anatoka kule na alikuwa na mamlaka kikatiba kumteua amtakaye.
Chini ya utawala wa Awamu ya Pili tulianza kuona nguvu za mke wa rais zikiibuka bila kuwa kwenye katiba.
Hali ilianza kuwatisha baadhi ya watu hadi Nyerere akaamua kulijadili suala hilo na kutaka kiongozi yeyote asikubali kushauriwa na mkewe.
Hii ilikuwa wakati ambapo vimemo vya kutaka mikopo ya daladala au kununua viwanja kutoka kwa First Lady vilianza kuwa kitu cha kawaida serikalini hadi ikawa kashfa. Ili tusionekane tunazusha, rejea hali ilivyokuwa mbaya hadi Nyerere akaseme ikulu inanuka rushwa.
Utawala wa Awamu ya Tatu chini ya Benjamin Mkapa, madaraka ya First Lady yaliumuka zaidi kiasi cha kuwa kile Wazungu huita power to reckon with. Maana mke wa rais naye alianzisha sijui tuite kampuni au chama chake chini ya kivuli cha NGO.
Kwa mara ya kwanza ilionekana mke wa rais alianzisha NGO. Fursa Sawa kwa Wote (EOTF) ilizaliwa na kujihusisha zaidi kwenye shughuli zilizotiliwa shaka kwa kuwa ilionekana kumnufaisha mke wa rais na watu wake wa karibu. Tulilalamika na hakuna aliyetusikiliza kwa vile rais anaonekana kuwa juu ya sheria.
Matokeo ya mchezo huu uliishia na kumfanya rais wa wakati ule kukabiliwa na kashfa kubwa mbili. Moja ya watu wake wa karibu kutuhumiwa kuingiza Kampuni ya Net Group Solution kuendesha Shirika la Umeme la taifa (TANESCO) na kujitwalia mgodi wa makaa ya mawe wa Kiwira.
Mchezo wa First Lady kutumia madaraka ya rais kujinufaisha chini ya kivuli cha NGO umeonekana kuendelea hata alipoingia Rais Jakaya Kikwete, ambaye mkewe ameanzisha mfuko wa WAMA, ambao una kila dalili za shaka kuwa mali ya mke wa rais kwa manufaa yake binafsi sawa na EOTF.
Mchezo huu umepanuka hadi kuhusisha ndugu na watoto wa rais. Rejea kuibuka kwa Ridhiwan Kikwete na Seleman Kikwete katika duru za chama.
Ukiachia udhaifu huo tulioonesha hapo juu, kuna udhaifu mwingine wa kimfumo ambapo, mosi, rais wetu halipi kodi ila anaweza kufuja kodi ya umma bila kuwajibishwa kama ambavyo utawala wa Mkapa na Kikwete unasifika kwa kutumia pesa nyingi kusafiri nje bila umuhimu wowote.
Ajabu mtu kama huyu asiyelipa kodi anawahimiza wengine walipe kodi ale, ukiachia mbali serikali yake kutoa misamaha ya ajabu ya kodi wakati nchi inaendelea kuwa maskini na kuwa ombaomba.
Pili, anamteua amtakaye hata kama hafai ambao wamekuwa wakikipendelea wazi Chama Cha Mapinduzi (CCM) kama anavyodaiwa mlezi wa vyama vya siasa, John Tendwa, ambaye anajulikana alivyo mshirika wa rais na kada wa chama chake.
Tendwa sasa anadaiwa na kuonekana na vyama vya siasa kuwa kama muuaji wa vyama hivyo na si mlezi.
Anakwenda hatua mia mbele kwa kuwateua wakuu wote wa mikoa na wilaya, wakurugenzi wa mashirika mbali mbali, makatibu wakuu wa wizara, wakuu wa vyombo vya dola.
Pia, anateua wabunge wasiomwakilisha yeyote isipokuwa yeye. Hawa husaidia kukuza idadi ya forum inapotokea kukawa na upungufu katika kuunga mkono hoja za serikali. Ambao wanaonekana kuwa ni mzigo kwa taifa kwani zaidi ya kumwakilisha rais na matumbo yao hawawakilishi Watanzania.
Tatu, imefikia mahali hata rais anaandamana na watu awatakao nje ya nchi na kufanya orodha ya majina yao siri.
Nne, yuko juu ya sheria ndiyo maana anafanya hayo bila kushughulikiwa. Rais kama binadamu yeyote mwenye udhaifu lazima atatumia madaraka vibaya ukiachia mbali kulewa madaraka.
Tano, bajeti ya ofisi yake ni suala la usalama wa taifa na utashi habanwi wala kulazimika kuwajibika akivuruga ofisi ya rais na mamlaka yake.
Sita, hatakiwi na sheria kutangaza mali zake kwa vile yuko juu ya sheria. Rejea kwa Kikwete kuendelea kutotaja mali zake huku akisifika kuwalinda mafisadi kama wale wa Kiwira.
Edwarad Lowassa (Richmond) na Andrew Chenge (rada) na Rostam (Kagoda na EPA), ambayo rais mwenye alituhumiwa kuwa aliasisi na kutekeleza mkakati huo ili kupata pesa ya kutafutia urais (asikanushe wala kuwa tayari kutoa maelezo) kutaja baadhi tu.
Madudu yanayotendwa na rais kutokana na kuwa na madaraka yasiyo na mpaka ni mengi kiasi kwamba nafasi haiwezi kutosha kuyaeleza japo yapo mengi. Jambo la muhimu ni kwa Watanzania kuhakikisha madaraka ya rais yanapunguzwa na kuwa na uwajibikaji wa kikatiba.
Wengine wameishafanyia hili majaribio na kufanikiwa. Mifano ni nchi jirani ya Kenya na Afrika Kusini ambapo madaraka ya rais yamepunguzwa na kuwajibishwa kikatiba. Bila kupunguza madaraka ya rais tutatendelea kuwa shamba la bibi. Tutaendelea kuwa umma wa watu maskini huku rais akitumia madaraka yake kujineemesha na marafiki na jamaa zake.
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Januari 30, 2013. 

Maoni yangu; Mbwa wa rais awe rais wa mbwa wote

BAADA ya walevi kupewa nafasi ya kutoa maoni yao juu ya kuandika Katiba Mpya, wamekuja na baadhi ya mapendekezo ambayo yatafanya taifa letu kuwa la pekee duniani katika utawala na ulaji bora.
Kwa vile hatukupewa nafasi kutoa maoni mbele ya Tume ya Walibora kutokana na kutokuwa na uzito wa kutosha, nimetumwa mzito wao niende kule kutoa maoni yangu na yao.
Tofauti na wazito wenzangu wenye maulaji yao, mie sitatoa maoni kama mimi bali nitawakilisha walevi wote. Pia nitakapokuwa nikitoa maoni vyombo vya umbea na habari havitaripoti kwa vile sina uzito wa kujaza kurasa zao.
Hivyo, nitatoa maoni yangu, ya bi mkubwa na walevi wenzangu. Wale walevi wakubwa watatoa maoni yao kikubwa wakati sisi tukitoa yetu kichovu. Katika kutafakari jinsi katiba inavyopaswa kuandikwa, wanakijiwe wamekuja na maoni yafuatayo:
Mosi, kama alivyosema Joni Malisera, ulaji wa rais usiguswe, tunasema uongezwe hadi kuruhusiwa kushea madaraka na bi wakubwa zake. Kama wanashea bedroom kwanini wasisheee na madaraka? Hii itasaidia kuondoa lawama kwa bi mkubwa na kufanya mambo kwa kificho.
Mfano, kama first lady atakuwa rais mwenza, hatakuwa na haja ya kujificha kwenye Asize au NGO ili kuweza kutengeneza mshiko na kupata ujiko. Hakutakuwa na malalamiko hata atakapopokewa kwa mizinga ishirini na moja na zuria jekundu.
Walevi wameona hili liwe hivi ili kuepuka matumizi mabaya ya madaraka ambapo bi mkubwa anaweza kuonekana kama mwizi na mfujaji wa madaraka na njuluku za umma asiyelindwa na katiba kama wengine. Nani anataka unyemelezi iwapo katiba inaweza kuondoa hili? Nani hapendi kuona kidosho wake aki-enjoy maulaji yake?
Pili, walevi wanapendekeza kuwa vitegemezi vya rais navyo viwe rais wa vitegemezi vyote kwenye kaya. Hata mbwa wa rais awe rais wa mbwa wote na viatu vyake viwe rais wa viatu vyote.
Hii itaondoa uwezekano wa vitegemezi kuiba sana kwa vile vinajua havina madaraka kikatiba. Pia, rais awe na mamlaka ya kutumia rasilimali zote za nchi atakavyo. Hili litaondoa kadhia kama hii tunayoshuhudia kule Ntwara ambapo badala ya kulikomboa taifa gesi inataka kulikomoa.
Tatu, walevi wanapendekeza rais kuwa anaandamana na baraza zima la mawaziri, wabunge hata marafiki na jamaa zake kwenye ziara zake ughaibuni ili kuonesha ufahari wa kaya yetu.
Pia, rais ahakikishe anatumia muda wake mwingi madarakani kufanya ziara ughaibuni ili kuomba mshiko wa kutosha kuwalisha walevi na mwingine wa kubakiza kule Uswizi kwenye akaunti zao.
Hili litaepusha watu wa karibu naye kuiba kwa tamaa wakiogopa kukamatwa kwa vile watakuwa wanalindwa na katiba. Pia, orodha ya watakaokuwa wanaandamana na rais kwenye matanuzi iwe top secret.
Uzoefu tulioupata kwa Joji Kichaka Obamiza ni walikoruhusu bangi ivutwe kisheria, ni kwamba ukihalalisha baadhi ya jinai, unapunguza ushabiki na ushiriki wake. Hivyo, kwa kuwapa maulaji kisheria walaji wote walioko mgongoni mwa rais, wataweza kula kistaarabu na si kifisi kama ilivyo sasa.
Pia, rais aruhusiwe kuandamana na waganga wa kienyeji wa kumkinga na maadui hasa usawa huu ambapo maadui wamegundua uchawi wa polonium. Hata mawaziri waruhusiwe kuweka tunguli kwenye magari na ofisini ili kufanya kazi bila hofu ya kurogwa au kupigwa zongo.
Walevi wamependekeza kuwa rais asilazimike kutaja mali zake kisheria. Kwani mali za rais ni top secret ya usalama wa taifa. Hata taarifa na hali ya afya yake isitangazwe kwa vile wachawi wanaweza kumroga bure. Hata akianguka asiripotiwe.
Tano, rais asilipe kodi. Akilipa kodi atakuwa na ubahiri wa kuzitumia na kufanya nchi ionekane kama ya mabahiri. Sorry achia hapo. Uzoefu umeonesha kuwa marais wanaolipa kodi huwa mabahiri katika matumizi. Mfano, hawaendi kutanua nje, jambo ambalo hufanya nchi zao zisiheshimike hasa ughaibuni.
Pia, imebainika kuwa marais wanaolipa kodi huwabania hata ndugu zao kiasi cha kutowapa ulaji hasa vyeo vya kujuana kulipana fadhila na mengineyo. Hili huchangia kwa rais kuchukiwa na ndugu zake. Hivyo, walevi wasingependa rais wao abanwe kiasi cha kuwabania ndugu zake na waramba viatu wake kiasi cha kuchukiwa bure.
Sita, walevi wanataka rais awe na mamlaka kuliko masultani na wafalme wa Kiarabu ambao hutanua sana kiasi cha kuzoa sifa kuliko nchi yetu.
Hivyo, rais atapaswa aruhusiwe kisheria kwenda benki kubwa na kuchota kiwango cha fweza atakacho kwa ajili ya hata matumizi binafsi.
Hii itaepusha aibu na kashfa kama vile HEPA. Hakutakuwa na haja ya kuibia benki kubwa wakati anao uwezo wa kwenda au kuagiza uchotaji wa ndalama atakazo. Wasiojua ndalama ni njuluku.
Saba, rais aruhusiwe kikatiba kuwa na idadi yoyote ya nyumba ndogo atakazo kama alivyowahi kusema mwandishi mmoja aitwaye Plinsi Bagenda kuwa kupenda wanawake ni ujogoo na sifa ya Kiafrika. Walevi wamepata sayansi hii ya kumfurahisha rais kutoka kwa mfalme Mswatie wa kule Uswazini.
Nane, ili kuepuka kumchukiza, rais awe Jaji Mkuu mwenye madaraka ya kuwahukumu kifo watakaofanya u-babu-seya wa kunyemelea totoz wake. Hii itamfanya rais awe na furaha na asiwe na hofu, hivyo, kutawala vyema.
Tisa, kwa vile kumekuwa na viherehere wanaowaandama bi wakubwa zetu kuwa hawakupiga skuli, tunataka katiba itamke wazi kuwa si lazima bi mkubwa kuwa msomi. Hii itaondoa aibu ya wahusika kuona aibu pale wanapokuwa ni wale walioogopa umande kama bi mkubwa yule ambaye akisoma hotuba za Kiingereza hutoa jasho kama vile anapiga push ups.
Kumi, rais awe na mamlaka ya kutoa adhabu ya kifo kwa yeyote hasa wale wanaomchokonoa. Awe na uwezo wa kuamuru ndata kupiga mtu risasi bila kuhitajika kutoa maelezo au kushitakiwa. Hii italeta nidhamu ya hali ya juu. Ila ndata wasiruhusiwe kuwabughudhi watu wa mihadhara kwa vile wanafundisha madili mema.
Onyo: Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men. Tafsiri kesho! Kumbe bangi na gongo vimeniishia! Ngoja niwahi kwa mama muuza nipate misokoto kama mia hivi!
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Januari 30, 2013

When first lady’s treated like President

Today I’m going to talk about my trip to the city of AR not Beijing. For those not well-versed with what AR is, it is the city that became famous for two, or three, wrong reasons. First, it is famous for producing Hunknite aka Bongonite aka Tanzianite that’s made some neighbouring and distant countries richer than it’s made us. Hunknite is the type of precious metal that is found only in our hunk the world over.

Secondly, AR is the capital city of tonnes of connected criminals who sell the wildlife and minerals of our hunk to Asia.

Recently, AR added another feather in its cap becoming the first city to receive the lady number one just like Mr. Presidenza himself. Thus, mama Sal Jake Kiquette is the subject and source of all this stuff I’m writing today. Call Sal a co-president if you may. Don’t worry. She doesn't read such hard stuff. I’m happy to be in AR as this happened. Luckily, I wasn't accompanied by my lioness. She’d not allow me to write about this political femme fatale.

After doing my monkey biz in AR, I went to the pub to swallow as usual. No sooner had I arrived in the pub than tipplers recognized me! They started attacking me with offers of Kanywaji. Firstly, I thought they’re doing so thanks to my Bongo’s stardom aka ustaa uchwara. They started telling a this-is-now-too-much-power-hunger story about how the whole city was shocked to see high-rank military men and other bigwigs in the upper echelons of power thronging at the airport to acclaim the first woman. Slowly, I started anticipating what was behind all those offers of kanywaji. One bibber did not mince words. He said, “Bro, we need your support and help. You've the wherewithal.”

I asked him, “What support or help do you want from me?” He replied, “Please make sure this sacrilegious act of squandering our dosh by the wives of the biggies features high in next dictum.” Another imbiber chipped in, “Yes, we’re tired of being told: the hunk’s debt is swelling while a few power winos senselessly trifle our taxes. This is impunity, total impurity.”

Another one chimed, “Hey man, don’t you know that king’s dog is the king of dogs!” Before even explaining his Swahili recapitulation, another imbiber weighed in, “This is corruption. King’s goat also should be the king of goats? King’s everything is the king of everything. This way we can’t forge ahead in any meaningful direction. Why don’t you call it daylight thuggery? Does it mean the guy promised better life for all to mean all of them not all of us?”

Thence, I started realizing why kanywaji was coming my way like missiles. In fact, bibbers wanted me to address their grievances especially power abuses that are slowly being legalized. It is no longer against the law for members of the first family to be treated just like presidents. They freely and discretionary spend paupers’ taxes as please and nobody raises eye brawls! “Anyways, guys the in-thing currently is “it is our turn to eat the hunk’s cake. Those feeling jealousy should go hang. The saying has it.” One fyatu said as he sipped from his bottle.

You know what. I nosed out that all imbibers are fearless, fyatu and kamikaze. They fear nobody except going without kanywaji. They told me that the other day they saw the high and mighty giving their views to the constitutional commission chaired by Mr. Jose Waliobora. First of all, they condemned the act of discriminating against the imbibers. For them imbibers are imbibers regardless how big or mighty some are. Treat ‘em equally. The rationale behind such assertion is: those given preferential treatment in airing their views, the same may apply by entrenching their views in the constitution and ignoring those of the others. So, their views may make the coming constitution. So too,

Dibbers said that Pooh-Bahs like Ben Willy McKappa don’t know their problems, needs and feelings. They regard those guys just like any other let down on the top. Guess what. I didn't know that imbibers still remember Kiwila saga. They mentioned it as if it happened yesterday!

What’s more, imbibers are saying openly that the ulaji bestowed upon Mr. Presidenza is becoming a family matter. They’re saying that the hunk has many presidenzas the man himself, his wife and kids and his courtiers. They see no border between our hunk and gulf’s sultanates. This is why they want the coming constitution to strictly stipulate that the power of the head of the hunk should neither be raped nor misused by any earthling under and above the Sun.

AR’s imbibers became more ballistic than any time when they saw some high-rank military men congregating to acclaim the first woman. To them this was an insult. They asked why it was a criminal offence for one soldier to take a snap with their MP but the same wasn't the case when military men acclaimed the first woman who isn't anybody’s MP except her stomach. One juicer said, “Mchonga saw all this when he said: Prezzo shouldn't be advised by his wife!”

The way they were asking me was as if I were the husband of that first woman. I simply owned up by just defining corruption as: abuse of power by gaining money, respect, fame, favour, acting unethically and whatnot. This being the situation, indeed we need a new constitution of our own making not this make believe we see. Today’s wisdom is, “The measure of a man is what he does with power.” Plato 423 BC – 347 BC.

Source: This Day Jan. 28-2 Feb.,, 2013.

Yaliyotabiriwa SAA YA UKOMBOZI yaanza kutimia!

Taarifa zilizosambaa ni kwamba Tanzania sasa inakumbwa na machafuko karibu kila kona. Hii ni kutokana na wananchi kuishiwa imani na serikali wakati serikali yenyewe ikiendelea kufanya madudu. Siyo kujisifu bali kukumbusha. Kinachotekea Mtwara kuhusiana na gesi asili nilikitabiri miaka minngi iliyopita katika kitabu changu cha Saa Ya Ukombozi.

          

    Saa Ya Ukombozi inamtumia mzee Njema na wakazi wenzake kijijini mwake ambapo mwekezaji mzungu alikuwa kanunua eneo lao ili achimbe madini. Mtafaruko ulifumka hadi askari wakatumwa toka mji mkuu wa Neema ambapo hwakufua dafu hadi mkuu wa mkoa alipopata kipigo na hatimaye serikali kuangushwa kwenye uchaguzi uliofuata.

Jakaya na mpira Jakaya na mpira!

Mambo mengine yanatia kichefuchefu ingawa kuna wanaoyaona kama ufanisi. Rais Jakaya Kikwete ni mpenzi wa mpira wa miguu. Hili halina ubishi. Pamoja na upenzi huo bado ni rais wa Tanzania. Tunadhani mambo ya michezo angemwachia waziri mhusika sawa na mambo ya nje. Yeye anapaswa kufanya kazi ya urais na si michezo. Wengi walitegemea kumuona na gavana wa benki inayosemekana imetunza pesa za ujambazi zilizofichwa huko nje. Lakini hana muda na hilo kwa vile siyo kipaumbele cha serikali yake wala halina faida kwa Tanzania. Ni balaa kuwa na rais wa namna hii. Kikwete awe somo kwa wanaokuja na udhaifu wake usaidie kurekebisha katiba yetu na kumpa madaraka kiasi rais ajaye ili kuwa na namna ya kumbana na kumsaidia hasa anapotokea kuwa mtu mwenye uwezo mdogo wa kufikiri.

Kikwete tunataka matendo si maneno

Hivi karibuni rais Jakaya Kikwete alikaririwa akisema kuwa uvumilivu sasa kwisha. Alisema, “Serikali haitavumilia vurugu wala ukabila kwa namna yoyote ile…. Mwaka 2012 vurugu zenye sura ya kidini zilianza kujitokeza ila sasa nasema kwamba hatutazivumilia kwa namna yeyote ile, inatosha,” Je Kikwete amekumbuka blanketi asubuhi? Je uzoefu wa kufanya mambo wa Kikwete unasemaje? Je Kikwete anasogeza muda ili amalize ngwe yake na kuliacha tatizo pale pale kama ambavyo amefanya kwa matatizo mengine kuanzia ufisadi, ujambazi, kuporomoka uchumi, muungano, udini, ukabila, ukanda, mitandao kwenye chama chake na mengine mengi?

Ni kweli kuwa mwaka jana taifa letu liligeuka gumzo kimataifa baada ya chomaji makanisa uliotokea baada ya watoto kufanya utoto kutokana na kufundishwa imani potofu na za kishirikina.

Je baada ya haya kutokea serikali ilifanya nini cha mno iwapo vyanzo vya kadhia hii yaani mihadhara inayoendeshwa na watu wasio na taaluma si ya kidunia wala ya kidini imepigwa marufuku zaidi ya kushamiri?

Leo tunajua fika kuwa Kikwete hajasukumwa na dhamira ya kutatua haya matatizo ya udini na ukanda bali kutaka kuingiza kipato kitokanacho na kuuza gesi ya Msimbati. Hii ni baada ya watu wa Mtwara kuja na hoja kuwa lazima gesi iwanufaishe wao kwanza na miundo mbinu yote lazima ijengwe Mtwara. je watu wa Mtwara wanaohofia nini zaidi ya ufisadi na upendeleo? Je Kikwete katika maelezo yake ametoa majibu ya tatizo hili yanayoingia akilini? Nadhani watu wa Mtwara wanajua ujambazi wa Richmond, Dowans na mwingine unaohusisha nishati. Pia wanajua udhaifu wa serikali ambayo kimsingi, kuna dhana imejengeka kuwa imo mikononi mwa mafisadi ambao Kikwete aliwahi kukiri kuwa na orodha yao na asiwaghulikie kwa sababu ajuazo.

Hebu tuangalie nukuu nyingine ya Kikwete, “Unawezaje kuwa na nchi moja na taifa moja wakati kila mmoja anadai rasilimali kutoka kwenye eneo moja ibakie na kunufaisha watu wa eneo hilo tu. Huwezi kuwa na nchi moja na yenye umoja wakati kuna nchi ya gesi asilia kule Mtwara, kuna nchi ya kahawa kule Kilimanjaro, kuna nchi ya chai na ndizi kule Bukoba,”

Kama inawezekana kuwa na watanzania walio juu ya sheria na wale ambao wako chini ya sheria lolote lawezekana. Watanzania si wajinga kiasi hiki. Kikwete anapaswa aambiwe ukweli kuwa hawezi kueleweka kwa vile amekuwa mfadhili na muhimili mkubwa wa haya madudu. Kama watu wanaona jinsi pesa inavyoibiwa na watu walio karibu na rais na rais hachukui hatua unadhani watamwamini? Hivi nani asiyejua kuwa Richmond iliyoingizwa na swahiba mkuu wa Kikwete, Edward Lowassa ililiweka taifa msambweni kiuchumi? Je Kikwete amefanya nini kuonyesha uongozi na uwajibikaji? Nani hajui sakata la rais mstaafu Benjamin Mkapa mkewe watoto wake na wakwe zake kujitwalia migodi ya makaa ya Kiwira huku Kikwete akiulizwa atachukua hatua gani anajibu” Mwacheni mzee Mkapa apumzike. Wananchi wa Mtwara hawako tayari kuona gesi yao inabinafsishwa ima kwa Kikwete au marafiki zake? Kumbuka ni kusini huko huko walioanzisha vita ya maji maji wakati wengine walikuwa wakigwaya. Wanajua wanachotaka na jinsi ya kukipata. Hivyo, dawa si kuwatisha wala kuwaongopea. Wanajua kuwa sekta ya nishati ndiyo inayoongoza kwa ufisadi na kutoa kipato kwa mafisadi. Wanajua kuwa Tanesco haikubinafishwa kwa vile ilikuwa haiwezi kujiendesha bali uroho na upogo wa watawala. Wanajua kuwa mgao na ulanguzi wa umeme vimesababishwa na ufisadi unaolindwa na kutendwa na watawala na mawakala wao. Wanajua kila kitu.

Wamajua kuwa Kikwete anawadanganya na hana nia ya kufanya lolote kwa faida yao. Wanajua kuwa hata mwaka 2006 alipowaambia kuwa ana orodha ya mafisadi, majambazi na wauza unga na asiwashughulikie ilikuwa ni danganya toto. Hapa hakuna cha kugawa nchi wala nini? Kama ufisadi umeigawa nchi kwanini gesi ya Msimbati iwe tatizo?

Si uzushi wala upendeleo kusema kuwa serikali yetu imefuga hisia za udini, ukabila, ufisadi, ukanda na hata mitandao nchini mwetu. Maana kumekuwa na watu wanaoota ndoto za mchana kuwa kuna siku Tanzania itatawaliwa kaiislam au kikiristo au kikanda au kikabila. Ila wanasahau kuwa uislam haujawahi kutawala popote ukiachia mbali baadhi ya watawala kuutumia kufikia malengo yao. Mfalme Constantine aliutumia Ukristo kutawala Rumi, Ezana (Kush) huku watawala wa Ottoman, Mughal na Safavid nao wakiutumia uislam kujiimarisha kwenye madaraka. Kuna watu wanaoota kuwa juu ya sheria wakifaidi keki ya taifa huku wengine wakifa njaa.

Kinachofanya serikali ilaumiwe ni ile hali ya kuruhusu kila mtu kujifanyia atakavyo bila kufuata sheria. kwa mfano, madhehebu ya dini yalipaswa kusajili kwa sharti kuwa yakienda kinyume na matarajio ya serikali yanafutiliwa mbali. Leo tuna maaskofu wengi feki wanaotumia dini kuwaibia maskini na kuwadanganya. Wanazuka k ila uchao. Tuna mashehe wengi wanaoibuka na kutangaza vitu vya ajabu kama hawa wanaotaka kuangusha Bakwata au kutaka kueneza uislam wa kihafidhina ambao hata mtume hakuuacha.

Hata hivyo, inapaswa watu wa namna hii kuambiwa kuwa tulipopigania uhuru tulipigania uhuru kama watanzania na si waislam wala wakristo, wamakonde, wana CCM na upuuzi mwingine. Mtu yeyeto aweza kuingia dini yoyote na kutoka lakini hawezi kufanya hivyo kwa uraia wake kirahisi hivyo. Kwenye kujiunga na dini hakuna maombi wala masharti sawa na uraia. Mbona wakati tukiingizwa kwenye mfumo wa kikoloni au kupelekwa utumwani hizi dini zinazotaka mamlaka leo hazikutusaidia zaidi ya kuwa wakala wa mateso yetu? Kuna haja ya kusoma historia kuepuka aibu ya kiakili kama hii. Hivyo, hawa al muthnaka wanaoota mchana kudhani Tanzania inaweza kutawaliwa kidini, washikishwe adabu mara moja.

Tumalizie na kadhia ya gesi asili Mtwara. Serikali isiposhughulikia ufisadi na ubaguzi wa kimaeneo yatatokea mengi kama hili la Mtwara. Jibu si kuwatisha watu wa Mtwara bali kuwatendea haki sawa na watanzania wengine.

Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Januari 23, 2013.

Tulivyojinoma Paris Ufaranseee!

Najua habari hii haitawafurahisha walevi walio wengi hasa wanaopondwa na matatizo ya ukapa wa kutengenezwa na sisi wenye maulaji yetu. Wapo watakaoniona kama najidai na kuwakoga. Hawa nawashauri wakajinyonge maana kutesa ni kwa zamu. Wapo watakaoniona kama limbukeni na mtu wa kushangaashangaa. Pia, wapo watakaoniona mtu wa watu na wa maana hasa wale wanaoandamana nami kwenye matanuzi yangu. Wapo watakaoniita Vasco da Gama yule habithi wa kireno aliyekuja pwani yetu akavamia miji yetu na kupora na kuishia zake Ureno. Yote poa tu mradi kelele za mpangaji hazimnyimi usingizi mwenye nyumba kama alivyowahi kusema jamaa yangu Njaa Ka... we koma! Wapo watakaoniona kiherehere kama vitoto vya shule vinavyopachikwa mimba kama alivyowahi kusema mkulu.

Kwa vile mimi ni kichwa maji nisiyejali wala kusikia, sasa nawapa utamu wa jiji la Paris. Wenyewe wafransii huliita Pari au Parie. Sisi tuliosomea hapa huwa tunasema kwa kifransii, “Paris est la mere de tous capitales mondiale.” Yaani Paris ni mama wa majiji yote duniani.

Hakuna kitu kilinichekesha kama bi mkubwa wangu alipotaka kubonga kifransii kwa lafudhi ya ki-matching guys. Badala ya kusema Bonjour Monsieur Presidaa alisema, “Banjua plizidaa,” Ilibidi mwenyeji wetu acheke kwa chati kama vile alifurahi wakati alikuwa akishangaa inakuwaje bi mkubwa hakupiga shule angalau ya kumwezesha kuzinyaka concepts nyepesi haraka kama salamu. Watasha huwa hawana dogo. Si alinipa laivu kuwa kwa vile amegundua kuwa bi mkubwa wangu hajapiga shule hivyo angempa nafasi kwenye shule moja lau apigwe msasa. Nilivimba kwa hasira ingawa nilichekacheka kama kawa. Huyu angejua bi mkubwa wangu asivyopenda kusoma asingeniudhi kwa kutoa wazo kama hilo. Asome kupata nini iwapi NGO yake inamuingizia mshiko wa kutosha kiasi cha kuajili wasomi wanaomtumikia kama mke wa mfalme? Wenzetu bado wanadhani elimu ni ufunguo wa maisha. Hii ni kwao. Kwetu pesa na mamlaka ni ufunguo wa maisha. Simpo! Nilimjibu nini Monsieur Normal? Top secret as usual.

Twende kwenye mada ya mose wa lero. Kama kawa, niliondoka kwenye kaya nikiwa nimeandama na bi mkubwa ili naye akashangae shangae na kujipiga viwalo vipya. Yeye pia aliandamana na mashoga zake ili nao wafanye first shopping bab kubwa. Kitu kimoja kilimkera bi mkubwa hadi akanilalamikia ingawa niliogopa kumwambia rais kwa vile huu si ustaarabu wao. Kilichomkera ni ile hali ya kwenda kufanya shopping kwenye mitaa ya Rue St. Honore, Loire Valley,Mont St. Michel , Faubourg du Roule, Marais Republique na mingine mingi yenye majina magumu bila barabara kufungwa kama Uswazi. Bi mkubwa na mashoga zake waliwaacha hoi wafaransee kwa kulipa cash tena kwa dorali na si madafu. Hakuna mtaa niliupenda kama ule wa Marais Republique. Nina mpango wa kununua bungalow pale ili nikistaafu nikumbuke urais wangu wa kijiwe. Hayo tuyaache.

Pia wapo jamaa zangu ambao sikutaka watajwe kwa vile walevi wanaweza kuanza kuhoji uhalali wa kuandamana nao. Najua hapa wanoko wataanza kusema niliandamana na washikaji zangu, vitegemezi na nyumba ndogo. So what? Kutesa kwa zamu na maulaji siku hizi ni mali ya familia. Au siyo? Hivyo, wale wanoko waliongojea kusikia majina ya nilioandamana nao kwenye utalii wangu jijini Paris walie na kusaga meno. Mie siyo kama akina Mchonga waliozoea kutaja orodha ya watu waliokuwa wakiandamana nao. Hivyo, niliandamana na walaji wangapi na akina nani ni top secret. Tusameheane. You know what? Ukila na kipofu usinshike nkono.

Wengi wanauliza kwanini nilipenda kutembelea jiji la Paris. Kwanza Paris ni karibu na Uswizi hivyo akina Mbwa Mwitu na Mgosi Machungi wenye vijisenti vyao Uswizi waliweza kuchukua High speed train na kuchungulia akaunti zao haraka haraka. Wengine walipata fursa ya kufungua akaunti mpya kwa vile tulishaonyesha wazi kuwa hatutakubali kusikia wambea wanaosema eti tuwakamate walioweka vijisenti Uswizi wakati ni maendeleo kwa kaya.

Sababu nyingine ya mashiko iliyofanya nitembelee Fransee ni ukweli kuwa nilisoma na bwana nkubwa Francois Hollande kwenye chuo kikuu cha L’ Institut d'études politiques de Paris (Paris Institute of Political Studies), wakati ule nikisomea mambo ya siasa baada ya kutoka zangu Kivukoni. Pia yeye ni rika langu ingawa yeye ni dogo kwangu kwa miaka minne. Kitu kingine kilichofanya tuwe washikaji na huyu jamaa ni ile hali ya kupenda totoz wakati ule tukisoma. Nani angeamini kuwa bado mshirika wangu Hollande anaishi na mchumba na si mke? Yeye ni mtu wa totoz. Huwa hakawii kupenda na kuacha. Haya ndiyo mambo ya kisasa. Sitaki niseme mengi ingawa hayo machache yanatosha kuonyesha ushikaji wetu ambao haukuanzia barabarani. Hivyo, tuna mengi tunayofanana.

Jiji la Parii usipime! Siyo kama hii mikweche ya majiji uchafu mtupu. Barabara zake ni mikeka mitupu. Hakuna misongamano wala vurugu kama Uswazi. Kwa nilivyopenda jiji hili la Paris kuna siku nitahamia kule baada ya kugundua kuwa sina jinsi ya kubadili mikangafu yetu ya miji. Nadhani ningekuwa mkulu ningefunga mtu aitwaye meya. Ila kwa vile wote wana uvivu wa kufikiri nani amfunge nani? Heri kuwafunga wanaodai gesi ibaki umachingani.Ili sisi tule nini na tupate ten percent wapi? Senzi kabisa!

Huwa nashanga watu wanaopenda kulalamika kuwa deni la kaya ya kijiwe linatuna ila uchao. Yaani kuongezeka kwa tutrioni kumi na ushei watu wanapiga kelele utadhani jambo la ajabu. Hivi kazi ya ukuu ni nini kama siyo kutumia kama huha akili nzuri? Nani kawaambia kuwa mali ya umma inauma? Kwanini lisitune iwapo matumizi na matanuzi ndiyo fasheni kwetu sisi wenye maulaji? Hivi mnadhani kwenda nje namna hii tunatumia mawe? Tunatumia pesa yenu jamani na mlitupa ulaji ili tule migongoni mwenu. Ila nawashauri msikonde kwani mwaka 2015 sitagombea ukuu wa kijiwe wala kaya. Hivyo, nakula vya mwisho mwisho kwa usongo wa hali ya juu nikijua kuwa ulaji ukishanitoka maulaji kama haya nitayasikia kama siyo kuyasoma magazetini.

Lo! K umbe niko kwa Mfugambwa siyo Pariii! Kumbe naota! Ukisoma stori hii usiipe uzito maana ni ndoto! Acha niamke!

Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Januari 23, 2013.

Kama samani zetu zina thamani za nje mwanunua za nini?

Kama sanani zetu zina thamani, kwanini wakubwa wanapenda kununua samani nje? Hapo juu rais Jakaya Kikwete akimpa zawadi ya sanduku la kiswahili rais wa seneti ya Ufaransa, Jean-Pierre Bel huko Paris hivi karibuni. Kujua huu ulivyo unafiki GONGA hapa uone inachofanya serikali ya huyu huyu anayejifanya kutangaza samani zetu wakati serikali yake inanunua samani nje kwa bei mbaya.

Watakaoamua nani agombee kwa Tiketi ya CCM

Rais Jakaya Kikwete aliposema serikali yake si ya ubia hakudanganya. Kwa kuangalia madhambi 
 aliyotendwa na hawa jamaa watatu bila kushughulikiwa, ni kwamba serikali ya Kikwete ni mfukoni mwa hawa jamaa watatu. Wapo waliodhani kuwa Kikwete angewashughulikia wasijue kuwa angewagusa wangetoboa siri za uchafu wake na kumwangusha hata kumwajibisha wao wakiendelea kutesa.  Ziko wapi ngebe za kujivua gamba ambazo ziliishia kuwa wito wa kuvaa gamba tena nene? Hivyo  msishangae hawa watatu watakapoamua nani awe mgombea wa CCM kwenye uchaguzi ujao.

Corruption: Let's emulate China

I was in Beijing just recently. What I’m to tell is true to my knowledge. Thus, doubt it not. I camped at Beijing Beichen West Road, Chaoyang District, 100105. After learning some Chinese words such as Ni hao (hello), Washang hao (good evening), Ni hao ma (how are you?), Hao xiexie (fine thanks) and many more introductory words. I started enjoying my stay in China. Given that I was accompanied by my wife, I’d to quickly learn how to introduce her. Thus, the word “This is my wife” or Zhe shi wode taitai namely the Lioness became a catchword for me. You know what? My lioness is such a creature that wants to be introduced everywhere. This should not be mistaken for showcasing her beauty. According to her, introduction serves as a buffer zone for other spring chicks eyeing me. Given that I’m such an after-sought handsome even beautiful boy, doing so makes us safer. Whether I eat spring chicken or not, this is nobody's biz. Being like yin yang, I can’t object her dictate.

I went to China after being invited by an NGO to chide corrupt rulers in a humourous way. I didn't know. My stuff is ready all over the world. This gave me kudos and gravitas so to speak.

The aim of my tour to the country of Chi'n or Qin was multipronged. Firstly, apart from ticking off the cabal of Chinese thugs, I wanted to travel the route of Lao Tzu. Also, I wanted to enjoy the aura of the place where Lao Tzu authored his famous book, Tao Te Ching.

Actually, I came up with one idea that is, wu-wei or non-striving way of doing things. Again, Chinese are no longer following the flow in chumming corruption. Instead, they’re delivering any implicated thieves to the firing squad. No know who or what.

More often than not, when it comes to our hunk where noble kleptos are pampered and protected with the flurries of reasons and lies, we need to emulate Chinese if we want to forge ahead. Instead of mollycoddling pinchers, we must show them the way to purgatory. When keeping tabs on them, we’d nary consider whether they’re mandarins or oligarchs. Although we've always ignored corruption, its knock on effects, are likely to end up becoming an economic nuclear bomb!

Although China has such a huge population, it does not experience power rationing just like our fucked up hunk. Their roads are ultramodern and the economy is booming. I asked a friend how such an ever hungry country would enjoy such booming economy. He simply said. : “Hard work and accountability.” He cited the example of what befell Bo Xilai who’s recently hanged out to dry after being found guilty of turning power into a family affair. Xilai can be equated with the likes of Eddie Lowassa and Andy Chenge so to speak. He’s believed to become the top of the Kuomintang  Again, once it came to light that his wife---not him--- had involved in corruption, he‘s kicked out of the glory right away. Had it been in Bongolalaland where the wives of the biggies are also biggies themselves, nothing would have happened. How could it happen if power is a family affair? Have we soon forgotten their sideshows and showdowns in our streets when they shop around?

Mark my words. Chinese are small in stature but not at heart. They’re not as small and fainthearted as our supremos are. Chinese have no patience with hokum-cum- bunkum. No lingering over corruption. They don’t even afford suspects a chance to cool their heels in the cells—they just shoot ‘em and forget. Chinese do not want to let villains live to talk or brag about what they committed. If it were China, all supremos implicated for stashing dosh in Swiss Banks would have been delivered to the marksman’s arena. On the contrary, in our hunk such fisadis are pampered and allowed posh life to show off how rich they’re. Did you hear the bomb the Swiss embassy detonated recently? It said that the power that- be has nary shown any willingness to retrieve the stashed dosh there. How if at all those implicated are the ones we’re telling to commit suicide? Mark my words. Nobody is going to be shamed or prosecuted.

True, if I were to advise the authorities in our hunk, I’d simply tell them: a corrupt being deserves a hangman not a political mileage as it currently is. And this would be a tall order for everybody regardless he or she is president, minister, commander and whatnot. However, I am sure: one day my piece of mind will hit home.

We need to narrow the aura our outlaws enjoy. We need to see the sharks on the pond not creating an ocean for them. We need to treat corrupt elements just like rabid dogs among our people. We verily need either to dispose them to a hangman or turn them into the jail birds. Essentially, this is the only way we can assure security to our paupers. Instead of seeing gangbangers growing richer, we’d see them groveling heading to the gallows to face the guillotine after cooling the heels in the prison. How else can we reward them for their “good” behaviour? The only befitting reward for such outlaws is not treating them like our in-laws. We must give them early burials instead.

Given that my story started in China, it’ll end up in Chinese. Zai jian or Bye! By the way, we sipped Tonghua Dongda wine with Tanzania’s emblem.

Source: This Day Jan., 21-26, 2013.

Wafadhili kwa kuchezea akili zetu!

 Hakuna asiyefahamu kukwa taifa la Misri haliwezi kuwepo bila mto Nile ambao hupitia Tanzania na kupata maji mengi toka Ziwa Nyanza. Hivyo, huwa hawapendi tutumie maji ya mto huu hata Ziwa Nyanza kwa umwagiliaji kwa vile tutapunguza kiasi cha maji wanayopata. Kutufumba macho, wamekuwa mstari wa mbele eti kusaidia miradi ya kijima ya kuchimba visima vya maji kwa watanzania ili kutuzuga tusielekeze maji ya mto Nile kwenye maeneo kavu. Kwenye picha waziri wa Maji na Umwagiliaji  Prof. Jumanne Maghembe akikenua wakati wa kukata utepe wa uzinduzi wa visima  30 vilivyofadhiriwa na serikali ya Misri. Kushoto kwake ni waziri wa Umwagiliaji wa Misri Prof. Mohamed Bahaa el-Din Ahmed. Kweli tunapenda sana ufadhili hata kwenye vitu vya kijinga.! Kama mbwa, tunapewa fupa kuruhusu mwizi aibe ng'ombe.

Kikwete kuficha majina ya ujumbe wake inaashiria nini?

Hakuna kitu kinawachanganya watanzania wengi kama tabia ya rais Jakaya Kikwete kwanza kupenda 
 uzurura nje. Na pili ni ile hali ya kuficha majina ya watu anaoandamana nao huko kwenye utalii wake. Leo hii tunaambiwa yuko Ufaranasa kwa ziara ya kikazi. Kaandamana na nani zaidi ya mkewe? Top secret. Je kuna watu wasiotakiwa anaoandamana nao wanaokula kodi yetu bila sababu? Maana tulizoea kusoma  majina ya watu wanaoandamana na rais kila aendapo tangia enzi za Nyerere,Mwinyi hadi Mkapa. Baada ya Kikwete kuingia na utawala wake wa kishikaji ni vigumu kujua majina ya watu anaoandamana nao na idadi yao. Jambo ambalo laweza kuashiria ufisadi fulani.

Bongo ki-winter sisi li-winter

Mambo ya jezi ndio mtindo

Rais Jakaya Kikwete akikabidhiwa jezi ya mpira wa kikapu. Chini ni Rahma Kharoos akikabidhiwa jezi ya Simba huko Oman. Naomba usiniulize uhusiano wa marais hawa wawili. Mmoja ni rais wa nchi na mwingine ni rais wa kampuni ya mafuta ambayo iliibuka baada ya Kikwete kuingia madarakani. Wanahusiana vipi? Please don't ask me.

Kikwete haishi vituko!

Rais Kikwete ataingia kwenye historia kama rais wa Tanzania ambaye hufanya mambo ambayo usingetegemea. Pia hufanya mambo ambayo hayaachi utata. Katika picha hii angalia mwenyewe utafsiri vituko vya rais wako baada ya kushuhudia vituko vya mkewe kwenye uzi uliopita ambapo alipokelewa kama rais kasoro zuria jekundu.Walivyoshikana mikono inamuacha kila mtazamaji kinywa wazi hasa kwenye dunia ya sasa ya shaka na kila aina ya tafsiri.

Rais Salma Kikwete anavyopokelewa

Tukisema kuwa utawala wa Kikwete ni wa kifamilia au ufalme fulani kama siyo usultani tunaambiwa chuki. Tusaidiane. Huyu mama hapa anapokelewa kwa ma rais kwa itifaki ipi kama siyo matumizi mabaya ya madaraka? Ni ajabu hata washauri wa mumewe hawalioni hili na kama wanaliona wanaoogopa kusema ukweli wasiteme kitumbua. Jamani it is too much. Ajabu wanajeshi kama hawa wakipiga picha na wapinzani wanaambiwa ni makosa. Ni vigumu kujua rais na mkewe nani ni rais katika hali hii na matumizi mabovu ya madaraka ya namna hii.

Ndata wanapogeuka majambazi na majangili!

Ya kule mwisho wa reli tuliyasikia ndata wawili walipomdedisha mlevi mmoja. Kisa? Alikuwa anawadai uchache. Badala ya kumlipa vijisenti walimlipa kipigo kilichomnyotoa roho. Kumbe akina Kamuhaanda wako wengi siyo? Kwanza, ngoja nimlilie kidogo Daud Mwangosi aliyenyotolewa roho na akina Kamuhaaanda. Ee mwenyezi Mungu nilipizie kisasi kwa mabazazi wanaonyotoa roho za waja wako wasio na makosa. Tuendelee. Juzi nilinyaka habari kuwa walevi wameanza kuwachoma moto ndata baada ya kugeuka vibaka, majambazi na majangili. Rafiki yangu aliyeko kule Ngala alinitumia mikanda miwili jinsi ya ndata walivyonyotolewa roho baada ya kumnyotoa rho mlevi mmoja huku wengine wakiuawa kule Nk’aagwe baada ya kutaka kudhulumu vipusa. Ni ajabu kusikia kuwa kumbe hata ndata wanafanya biashara ya pembe za ndovu! Kama hili ni hivi jamani nani anatawanusuru hawa wajomba zetu—tembo? Walevi tulizoea kuwaona ndata wakiwatoa kitu kidogo na kitu kikubwa wauza gongo. Baada ya kuanza biashara ya mibwimbwi hasa ilipoanza kuwahusisha wanono, wanene na wazito, tulishuhudia ndata nao wakipata chao kwa kuwatoza ushuru wauza bwimbwi. Anayebisha aende mitaa ya Mnazi Mmoja aone jinsi wale wamama wanaouza mibwimbwi wanavyokata ka-laki kila afendi akibisha hodi mlangoni. Asiyejua chesi zima ni kwamba baada ya ndata kugundua kuwa wadingi wao wanahusika na mibwimbwi nao wakaona wajiweke karibu na wauzaji huku wakiachia miteja iteketee. Kama ndata na wadingi wao wasingekuwa washirika wa biashara hii, unadhani ungeona teja hata moja mitaani likitanua na kutanuka? Unajua siri ya Mkulu kusema kuwa ana orodha ya vigogo wa mibwimbwi? Kwa taarifa yenu Njaa Kaya alichosema kuwa anawajua wauza bwimbwi na ana orodha yao si uongo wala usanii. Kwa taarifa yenu mimi ndiye nilimpa ile orodha. Nilimpa lini na wapi? Msiniulize kwani sitaki umbea na isitoshe hii ni kile ambacho wataalamu huita top secret ya confindential. Are you there dudes? Mdingi knows everything and he monitors almost every move to see to it that he is not suffering any loss. Samahani. Nimenogewa na kikameruni nikasahau kuwa siyo lugha ya kaya ya taifa. Anyways, ninachotaka kusema ni kwamba hata huu ujangili na ujambazi wa ndata msidhani ni jambo la kuzuka tu. Umekuwapo muda mrefu. Jamaa yangu anayefanya kazi kwenye mbuga za wanyama tangu enzi za Ruksa na Ndongara Muhunidini anasema kuwa kama walevi wangejua kinachoendelea kule huenda wangejinyotoa roho kwenye kile ambacho kingeitwa mass suicide au kujinyotoa roho kwa halaiki. Kwa wale ambao walikuwa bado makinda ni kwamba genge la Ruksa na Muhunidini ndilo lililomnyotoa roho mwandishi Stan Katabaro aliposhupalia ujambazi na ujangili wao. Nani mara hii kasahau majina kama Brigedia Ali na Ortello Business Coop yaliyovuma wakati wa utawala wa Ruxa? Nani hajui kuwa usafirishaji wa wanyama na nyara za kaya unafanywa chini ya ushirikiano wa ndata na idara za mipakani na forodha? Shauri yenu nyie endeleeni kudanganywa huku mkiliwa. Tangu wakati ule wanyama wameendelea kuuawa huku baadhi ya majambazi na majangili wenye madaraka wakizidi kuneemeka. Waulize akina Pio Msekua, Khatiiib, Menghjii, Lazaro Nyalando, Eze Maige na wengine wenye ulaji wao kule maporini. Wanyama wanauawa ukiachia mbali kusafirishwa nje. Najua wengi watasema nachonga nikimaanisha wale wanyama waliouzwa na yule habith wa kihindi Umangani kupitia uwanja wa ndege wa Kimataifa wa Mkia. Hao ni cha mtoto. Kuna wanyama ambao kwa kitaalamu tunawaita exotic ambao wanauzwa kimya kimya bila walevi kujua. Hivi mnajua kuwa kenge, nyoka, kobe, mijusi hata nguchiro ni big deal kwenye baadhi ya nchi? Shauri yenu. Mkiona watu wanaukata na kuula mnadhani ni ngekewa msijue kumbe wanawaibieni. Hebu angalia viwanja vilivyoota mbawa. Ukigusa kijiwanja tena uchochoroni uswazi uaambiwa milioni hamsini! Bado hujajenga. Wenzenu wanaangusha mije ngo ya kutisha nyinyi mnapanga mbavu za dog. Ukiona akina Eze Maige na Lazaro Nyalando wanaangusha mihekalu unadhani njuluku wamepata wapi kama siyo kwenye ujangili na ujambazi huu? Hata hao ndata unaoona wanavaa buti zilinazotembea soli upande usidhani ni walalahoi kama wewe. Ni matajiri wa kutupwa. Wanafanya usanii kujificha nyuma ya uchovu lakini ukweli ni kwamba si wachovu kama wanavyoonekana. Hii Danganyika na Danganyana bwana. Unaweza kuona njemba ikifanya kazi ya kichovu yenye mshahara kiduchu lakini ikaangusha hekalu la mabilioni na kumilki migari ya bei mbaya ubaki kushangaa. Wapo wengi sana kiasi cha kugeuza kaya kuwa kaya ya majambazi na majangili. Nani aulize wakati ujanja kupata hata kama kwa kushikishwa ukuta? Kaya yetu imegeuka ya majangili kuanzia juu kwenda chini. Kila mtu anajitahidi kuwa jangili iwe ni kwa kuuza wanyama, watu hata kujiuza yeye mwenyewe hasa wale wa kiwango cha chini kama watoto wa shule. Unashangaa kuona kibinti cha shule kinamilki simu ya bei mbaya huku kikiwa na credit muda wote. Je kinafanya kazi gani ya kukipatia kipato kama siyo kufanya ujambazi na ujangili wa kujiuza? Hayo tuyaache. Nani mara hii kasahau nyara zilizowahi kukamatwa sehemu mbalimbali za kaya tena zikiwa ima zimepakiwa kwenye magari ya sirikali au ndata? Nani mara hii kasahau sakata la kukamatwa kwa maafisa wawili ndata huko Mugumu waliokuwa wakitokea Biharamulo mnamo tarehe 5 Januari 2013? Mbona hata majina yao yanajulikana kuwa ni Kulwa na Nyarata? Funga kazi ni ujambazii uliotokea hivi karibuni kwenye jiji la walevi la Dar –alaa-si-Salama maeneo ya Msimbazii. Wajue nini kilitokea? Si majambazi yalikuja kwenye kituo cha kuuzia wese baada ya kupewa inshu na wahudumu wa ndani kuwa kutakuwa na mshiko ukisafirishwa benki. Wazee wa kazi walipoingizana na kuishia na madafu kama vimilioni 150, si kikanuka hadi ndata kuingilia. Wacha shaba zitembezwe mbichi mbichi. Walevi walidhani jamaa walikuwa wamekuja kuokoa zile njuluku wasijue kuwa ndata nao walikuwa na lao. Si baada ya kuwazidi nguvu majambazii wenzao ndata wakaishia na zile njuluku. Hadi leo naambiwa eti ndata watano wako lupango kwa kushukiwa kuiba njuluku zile. Je hawa ni ndata au majambazi tu? Acha mie niende kujililia. Maana ndata wanapogeuka majambazi na majangili waweza hata kuuza vichwa vya watu hasa zeruzeru. Eti gongo ni pombe? Kwaheri! Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Januari 16, 2013.

Nusu ukuwadi umtokee Mbatia puani

Mwenyekiti wa NCCR-Mageuzi  James Mbatia alinusirika kipigo kutokana na kuingia kichwa kichwa kwenye sakata la gesi Mtwara. Akiwa Mtwara Mbatia aliyeandamana na wabunge wake toka Kasulu alisema maneno ambayo hayakuwafurahisha wadau wa sakata la gesi kuhamishiwa Dar Es Salaam. Kikubwa kilichomponza ni ile hali ya kuteuliwa na Jakaya Kikwete kuwa mbunge. Hivyo kwa akina njomba Mbatia si mtu wa kuweza kupingana na mtu aliyempa ulaji yaani Kikwete ambaye anaonekana kutaka miundombinu ya kusafirisha gesi iwekwe Dar na Bagamoyo kwa faida zake binafsi. Kwa habari zaidi GONGA hapa.

With just Tshs. 500, 000 you can buy a “Boeing”!

Those who grew up under socialism and self-reliance should forgive me. I mean true socialists and wajamaa under Mwl. J.K Nyerere; who did not take the society for a ride by robbing it. Forgive me for embarking on the science of uchakachuaji that turns everything topsy turvy. Wonder not. Our hunk is now advanced thanks to this very science a cabal of biggies use to make killings almost in every deal.

Again, after Nyerere resigned and smart putas took over, Ujamaa and Kujitegemea (socialism and self-reliance) was felled. In its place, they introduced predatory kleptocracy and Selfishness or uhujumaa and kujimegea. You can call it self-serving and Socioevelism. This new vampiric policy was invented in Zanzibar so as to be referred to as Zanzibar declaration that felled Arusha Declaration of Socialism and Self-reliance.

Since obnoxious Zenj abracadabra came to effects, everything changed. Socialism was turned to its head. Ethics became antiques while corruption became etiquette. We started seeing superrich guys who used to dupe us pretending they’re socialists little knowing they’re but hyenas under a sheep’s skin.

That it came to the light that some thugs are selling aeroplanes to themselves at the tune of just Tshs. 500,000, poof! Seriously I’m going to own a plane. Why shouldn't I buy one if at all planes are cheaper than Bajaj? Do you know what they do? They just steal spare parts and ruin the planes then write them off before allocating them to themselves.

Actually, I also will buy a government villa given that it’ll be even cheaper than a plane. Do you remember those political mega faunas that bent the law and grabbed public houses? I still remember the spin they put on their macabre act. I wonder especially when I hear people saying that Mr. Kanywaji Magufuri should become our next president. How if at all he’s the one who oversaw this thuggish exercise? Hell no. He’s one of the fisadis who stole our houses. If he becomes president, won’t he vend our ikulu? When it comes to his party that authorized this theft, public confident in it’s always taken a knock. How can the general public keep its confidence in them if at all they flipflop almost everything with the aim of flimflamming it? I wonder. Why don’t donors smell this rotten rat?!

Like those who sold public ranches to themselves at a throwaway price, I’ll see to it that I buy one ranch for my nyumba ndogo. Don’t read this sentence loudly or tell anybody. Otherwise you want the lady I share a bed with to put me in trouble. The other day she caught me winking at our maid. She ordered me to wear her skirt for a week. Sometimes she beats me severely. I keep this as a top secret. Do you know that there are many men who are beaten by their wives but they don’t tell? Anyways, leave it there.

Essentially, owning aeroplanes will elevate me just like many thugs in the upper echelons of power who rob the hoi polloi. I know many thugs who are respected just because they own shangingis and mansions even if they robbed the same from public. Do you know how they’re revered even though they’re criminals? Nobody bothers to muse about how those robbers made their ill-gotten riches. Wealth has made rich dogs to become humans; criminals have become saints and villains heroes. Presently, even a thief can be called hero simply because he’s money. How many stooges sell their bodies, countries and what not yet are adored by their poor families simply because they can rob tourists and hoi polloi and provide for them? Since our hunk was bewitched, who cares? Who cares if the saying is ujanja kupata literary a winner takes it all even if by robbing?

What’s more, my driveway will be full-packed with planes not shangingis that thugs can steal easily.

I’ll buy ten planes for my private use. One for me another for my wife and others will be assigned other chores such as taking my kids to schools, dogs and goats to vets and; another will be used to dispose garbage. Another plane will be used by our shamba boy to go to the market to buy some tomatoes, spices, and other stuff. So too, all my “small houses” aka nyumba ndogo will get a plane a piece.

Often times, a good thing about owning planes is that corrupt traffic officers don’t fleece you. No mabaos and such criminal acts car owners face.

I also intend to form Mpayukaji Precision Air (MP air) that will serve the imbibers to go for binge and bungee just like politicians the country over. Imbibers will be allowed to vomit even poop on the plane just like the MPs sleep in the mjengo. My beloved brothers Joni Komba and Steve Wahasira are you there? Imbibers will nary brag when they poop or nap on the plane. I won’t care even though they poo. They’ll simply say it is because of kanywaji not medications. Forget about those liars even if they’re wrongly referred to as wahishimiwa while they actually are dishonorable.

After forming my Air Company, I’ll run for president. I’m sure: the monies to be made in this biz will enable me to offer takrima to the Bongolalalanders to massively vote for me. After becoming president I’ll print and mint more money so as to become a trillionaire. True, I’ll become the first trillionaire in the world beating Bill Gates and other plutocrats. Today’s wisdom is from Wendell Philips, “Power is every stealing from the many to the few.”

Source: This Day Jan., 14-20, 2013

Hongera walevi kuzaliana na kuzalishana

KWA mujibu wa taarifa iliyosomwa na profesa, daktari, shehe, gwiji, alhaji, kanali, father Njaa Kaya Kiwewe ni kwamba walevi kwenye kaya hii wamezaliana na kuongezeka sana. Hili ni jambo la kujivunia.
Ni ushahidi kuwa sera ambazo baadhi ya fyatu huziita usanii na uchakachuaji zimefanikiwa. Kila mtu anamchakachua mwenzake na kuzalisha vitegemezi iwe halali au haramu. Unakumbuka yale matokeo ya kipimo cha vinasaba cha DNA?
Kwa wasiojua maana ya DNA ni Deoxyribo-Nucleic Acid. Kipimo hiki kilionesha kuwa katika ndoa na ndoana watoto wanaozaliwa asilimia zaidi ya 40 ni wa kuchakachua.
Mama anamchakachua baba na baba anachakachua nje sawa na watawala wanavyochakachua sera. Usishangae siku moja ukiambiwa kuwa kaya yenu ni kaya ya uchakachuaji.
Chakachua ngoma ya zama zile. Leo si ngoma bali mfumo ambapo kila kitu kinachakachukuliwa kuanzia kura, elimu, afya hata familia! Mwe! Msipojifunza na kujirudi mwesha mie simo bahati nzuri.
Kutokana na kuwa na shahada ya juu yaani PhD in Demography and Chakuazation, leo nataka nifanye uchambuzi wa kina (deep and critical analysis) juu ya ni kwanini walevi wamezaana na kuongezeka sana.
Kuna sababu za kisayansi ambazo nimezibaini ambazo zimesababisha kuongezeka kwa walevi.
Mosi, mgawo wa umeme. Utafiti uliofanywa na mtaalamu bingwa na baba ya uchakachuaji unaoshuhudia aitwaye Profesa Alhaj Ally Hossein Mwinyi ni kwamba watu wanazaliana sana kwenye giza kuliko kwenye mwanga.
Hii inatokana na ukweli kuwa wakati wa mgawo wa umeme watu hukosa mambo muhimu ya kufanya au fursa ya kujishughulisha kama vile kusoma, kuangalia taarifa za habari hata kuonekana.
Hivyo, wahusika hujikuta wakiwa na msongo wa mawazo na sononi kiasi cha kujiburudisha kwa kula tunda lile. Hata kama huwa wahusika hawana nia au hamu ya kula tunda, mazingira ya kiza huwalazimisha kufanya hivyo. Umenielewa? Najua wengine watauliza tunda gani. Ni tunda lililo katikati ya miiba. Kama ni nanasi au ‘whatever please ask me not.’
Sitaki uniulize miswali mingi hadi nikujibu kipuuzi kama Dk Dugong bin Manatee Ben Willy Makapa aliyewahi kuwatolea watu uvivu kuwa wana uvivu wa kufikiri asijue naye alikuwa nao hadi akaingizwa majaribuni na Delillah wake akajimegea Kiwila. Anyways, tuyaache hayo si mwake humu leo ingawa ujumbe umetua, msg sent au siyo?
Mbali na kuongeza idadi ya walevi, mgawo wa umeme hukuza uchumi wa kaya kwa kuagiza na kuingiza jenereta nyingi ambazo huuzwa kwa bei mbaya. Pia jenereta hizi husaidia kutunza mazingira kwa kutoa mimoshi inayosaidia majani kuota na kusafisha anga. Najua kuna watakaoniona kama chizi. Kama mgao wa umeme hauzalishi majenereta ambayo ni salama kwa mazingira chizi ni nani kati yangu na wale wanaosababisha mazingira ya kuwepo madudu haya?
Kutokana na kukua uchumi hasa kwa kutoa ajira kwa wafanyabiashara wengi wa Kihindi, taifa letu limeweza kuwekeza kwenye huduma bora za afya ndani na nje. Kwa sasa tuna kile Wazungu huita cutting edge tech kwenye mahospitali yetu maarufu kama vile Apollo. Hivyo, kuzaana si tatizo. Huduma za afya zipo kwa wote wenye mshiko na viza ya kwenda India kutibiwa.
Faida nyingine ya mgawo licha ya kuzaliana ni kutoa fursa za kuweza kuleta makampuni ya kuzalisha umeme wa dharura ambayo mwisho wa siku huzalisha dharura ya wizi na kutengeneza pesa nyingi hivyo kuacha baadhi ya wanene kwenye kaya wakiwa mabilionea. Mara hii mmesahau Richmonduli na Dowans!
Ukosefu wa ajira hivyo kazi inakuwa hiyo hiyo. Usiniulize hiyo hiyo ipi tafadhali. Ufisadi, watu wanachuma wasipopanda kiasi cha kujiona matajiri hivyo kuzaliana bila kuogopa chochote wasijue neema yao ni ya muda.
Wakuu wetu kujizalia sana kiasi cha kutufanya tuwaigize. Hebu waulize wao wana watoto wangapi na mali kiasi gani? Kila mmoja siri yake. Je, unategemea nini hapa?
Maisha bora kwa wote. Baada ya walevi kungoja maisha bora kwa wote wasiyaone wameamua kuongezeka ili wale watakaokufa kwa matatizo angalau waache mbegu nyuma.
Sababu nyingine ya kuongezeka kwa walevi ni matangazo yanayochochea ngono. Kwa sasa matangazo machafu ndiyo fasheni.
Magazeti ya uchafu yafichwayo kwenye jina la udaku, runinga zenyewe wendawazimu wanaoitwa watangazaji na matangazo ya kusambaza ukimwi kwa kisingizio cha kuupinga ndiyo usiseme.
Hili likiunganishwa na sheria kutowashughulikia wanaovunja maadili ya taifa linafanya hali kuwa mbaya. Hapa hutujagusa wanaowatia mimba watoto wa shule. Hivi kama dingi anasema wanaopata mimba wakiwa mashuleni ni matokeo ya kiherehere chao unategemea nini?
Kubariki jinai. Kama halali imegeuzwa haramu na haramu halali unategemea nini? Kila mtu anaendekeza libeneke akijua kuna siku ataukata kwa vile kuukata hakuna kizuizi kisheria. Hivyo watu wanajenga kwenye ndoto zao wakisahau kuwa kuna kubaunzi kwa ndoto na mipango yenyewe.
Ingawa kuzaliana na kuzalishana na kuongezana kwa walevi ni jambo bora, halikosi kasoro. Baada ya walevi kuona wanaongezeka huku masahibu yao nayo yakizaliana, wameanza kugombea utajiri. Hamkusikia wale wa kule Zaainzibaa na Ntwara wakigombea nishati? Hamkuwasikia mawaziri wehu nao wakichochea kadhia hizi kwa kutoa majibu ya kubabaisha?
Nawakumbuka waishiwa kama vile Billy Mgimwa na Sossy Muongo wakisia urongo na upupu kuwa walevi wasiwe na wasi wasi kwa vile watawekezwa! Hakuna aliyenichefua kama Murongo aliyesema eti wamachinga kule Ntwara hawana sababu ya kudai kufaidi wese kwa vile nao wamekuwa wakifaidi nishati ya Kihainsi!
Kwani walikuwa wakipewa bure? Mbona kila mlevi anajua magumu ya kulanguliwa huduma mbovu kuanzia simu, umeme hadi hewa?
Kwa ufupi ni kwamba kama utawala na staili ya kutawala vitaendelea kuwa hivi hivi, walevi wataongezeka hadi wageuke bomu linalotika. Wataacha kuwa neema waishie kuwa balaa. Hata hivyo, inatupasa kushangilia ufanisi huu wa kuzaliana sawa na mabalaa yetu. Nadhani ombaomba wetu wenye suti wanachekelea kwa vile wamepata sababu ya kwenda kuzurura wakidai wanaomba njuluku kwa ajili ya walevi huku njuluku zenyewe zikiishia kule Ususio au Uswisi.
Acha niwahi home kwenda kuzalisha nami! Who cares if at all what we’ve is but megalomania in the name of polity? Usiniulize tafsiri.
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Januari 9,2013.

Weusi unapokuwa dhambi kwa waswahili!

Habari za kusikitisha toka nchini Afrika Kusini ni kwamba wengi wa wananchi wa taifa hili lililosota sana chini ya ubaguzi wa rangi wameanza kujibagua. Wanatumia mikorogo ili kuonekana wazuri. Kwao weusi tii ni ubaya hivyo watu, wake kwa waume wameamua kujipiga vita kwa kuvamia mikorogo! Inatisha na kusikitisha kwa taifa lililodhalilishwa sana na weupe nalo kuanza kujibagua hata kama kadhia hii haiwahusishi wananchi wote wa taifa hili. Kwa habari zaidi GONGA hapa.

The hunk of high dupability!

A wise but coward frog has nary stopped complaining about seeing people coming to its well to steal and spoil its peace. They come in big numbers and draw water while the frog is just looking. Once water thieves are gone, the frog starts complaining. After finding that complaining does not knock things off, the frog changes the tune by singing, “The well and water are mine,”

Frog’s monkey business reminds me of Bongolalaland. I recently heard a section of our peaceable people of our hunk complaining about Bariki Company from the land of maple leaf for being kindly offered a fifteen-year permission to exploit gold in the hunk. I heard other complaining about illegal and economic immigrants. They said that our hunk has a lot of these guys doing even matching-guys’ business in Karikoo streets. Some are just mere shamba boys who came to the country as experts. We, too, have the guys doing, for instance, Indian cuisine otherwise referred to as expert simply because our cooks can’t cook those sorts of Indian yum yum they cook.

Again, if you imagine how many homegrown house helps these guys employ in their homes, you wonder how stupid such proposition-experts- is. Are they real experts or experts in buying their “expatriate status’ from our hyena-like officials? Those who think what I am saying is far fetched should find Chevda and ask him how he came penniless to the hunk and made billions.

Our hunk is always generous especially to its ‘guests’. Remember the guy who sold our giraffe on 24 November 2010 via KIA? Given that we've so many beasts in the wild and offices, it was the right thing. After all, who cares if animals are sold? Methinks. Those 130 animals that were sold used to eat a lot of our grasses. So, to conserve our environment, some smart las putas had to come and help us sell them.

More on Bariki, what baffles everybody is the fact that such writ comes at the time mining biz has become another way of theft by consent. Some fyatus say that our supremos receive their cut then let international economic beasts steal as please. I’m not of this view. I won’t tell why. While megalomania is going on; our hoi polloi is cascading to abject poverty at rocket speed. Sadly, we've such economic psychopaths and social paths who don’t feel guilty of whatever mess they make. The same bêtes noix will go around saying that they’re in power to serve the hoi polloi while they actually are there to fill their thankless tummies.

Again, if you ask the duo namely international economic beasts and the power that-be what they've one, they’ll show you a very cheap dispensary, school or a “piece” of poor road in the community where ‘theft by consent of the biggies’ is going on. When you compute the value of the so-called investment to the community and compare it to the dosh dished out of the hunk, you feel like committing suicide. You feel like bursting with anger and frustrations. But again, who are you to doubt and question the high and mighty that have the license to do as please? Who are you to question the unquestionable? Who are you to see what the plebeians can’t see? Who are you to question the patricians of today?

Even plebeians were smart. They shook Rome when they decided to down their tools to see to it that they’re allowed to vie for magistratehood just like the patricians. Do we still have such small people with big hearts in our hunk today? Where will we get them if at all bigger guys are heartless?

Sadly though, while we squander our resources, we shamelessly go cup in hand begging from the same dudes we offer our resources! What’s wrong with us? Is it selfishness and corruption or lack of vision? This is especially true particularly to the victims of our investment. The guys in Mara dying of pollution might know what it is to have such nugatory policies. Who care about the future if it can take care of itself? Who is concerned about our environment in the future? Who bothers to think about tomorrow that never comes? He must be mad he who wastes precious time thinking about tomorrow. We need to think in terms of mshiko instead of elusive future development.

I am wondering people are hollering about BARIKI while they kept mum when Richmond sold its deal to Dowans. Where are Richmond-Dowans-Kagodamn thieves? We are told that some are among the richest guys in our God-forsaken continent! Are they rich or just thugs? Who care if such macabre investments cause power rationing which gives us chance to multiply? Who cares if our peaceable hunk is always at peace with itself and its earthlings? Who needs a goat among sheep?

Again, is there any logic in blaming BARIKI while those enhancing whatever thefts are with us? If you don’t give them a hard time who will? Go figure!

Let me tell you something. Those who hate seeing our hunk being vended should act like a wise frog. Instead of complaining, just sing. Or just behave like a wise monkey. See nothing, hear nothing, and say nothing. Thence, you’ll be happy. Again, if you truly hate whatever you think is not right, take on those doing it. “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results,” Albert Einstein. 

Source" This Day Jan.8-13, 2013