Letter to President General Immutable Minister Mao (PIG MM)

HON. PIG Nobby Mao, DP President General whom recently President General Yoweri Museveni demoted to a mere Minister, 

I humbly pray to aver as follows: 

Firstly, can you tell the good people of Uganda the rationale behind this demotion, especially carried out by the person we wrongly thought were your sworn enemy? Is it egoistic drive, madness apart from myopic and suicidal predilections? 

Secondly, how’ll your party and country benefit from this personal investment. After your demotion, sorry, appointment, little bird told me that that was a political bribe that you seem to have swallowed hook and sinker for your peril and that of your outfit. 

Thirdly, do you really trust M7. Flip it a wee bit to feel its granularity and its rawness. Do you think M7 trusts you? It’s your choice to trust anybody but not the master hanger of carrots and a gun teeter in the first place. Do you think M7’s bamboozling and consuming you or vice versa? Who’s what it takes between you and him? Also, note that such shotgun marriages scarcely work; and if they do, it is just temporarily.  

Fourthly, have you listened to the members of your party and others who sympathise with opposition? For, after solemnising your shotgun marriage, you’re quoted as saying that “I have heard voices calling for me to step aside. The reason would have been for instance if members said I will be too busy. That one I would listen.” Did you truly hear and listen? If you did, did you get it?  

Fifthly, as asked above if you’re did what you did for personal or public interests, you’re quoted as saying “my aim is to have a better future for our children.” Whose children do you mean here to go to bed with the doxy that you’ve always dressed down? What lessons are you offering to the children of whoever it is?  Let me put emphasis on this ‘our children’ thing. Is it M7’s and your wife if I can borrow a leaf from M7 who once told airheads that he isn’t anybody’s servant but a freedom pugilist fighting for his belly and his children and grandchildren and tribesmen and tribeswomen? 

Sixthly, Sir, what have you to say on the allegations that you’re but a mole in the opposition? Are you? Aren’t you? You once said that M7’s government’s corrupt, incompetent and greedy government. Remember when you’re addressing what you called the Seven Sisters, namely BP, Chevron, Exxon, Gulf Oil, Mobil, and Shell, Texaco and accused M7’s brother of being behind exploiting and privately using Uganda’s oil.  I can agree with you that the government is corrupt, inept and greedy. Well, well, when did it stop being so?  

Seventhly, let me remind you of some of your missiles at M7’s regime. You once called it a gun rule, which now you’ve blindly and sheepishly offered to serve. What went wrong Sir? As if that isn’t 

Eighthly, do you remember some of what’s presaged about you after wise monkeys discovered your covert business with M7? For example, Stephen K Muwambi (May 11, 2022) wrote that “Muhoozi’s team is thinking about Mao, shouldn’t surprise anyone abreast of the political goings.” Theretofore, M7’s quoted as saying that “I met with Democratic Party President Norbert Mao at State House Entebbe. We signed a cooperation agreement between the NRM and the DP. I salute the DP leadership for this gesture of mature, foresighted and constructive politics.”  Now, it has come to pass. Voila, you’re in bed with the man! Bambi ba Dia if I can borrow from my colleague Olivia Nalubwama. It is like katandika butandisi!  

Sir, I don’t intend to consume much of your precious time of serving two masters, again, allow me to warn you that those who don’t learn from history tend to repeat mistakes by learning nothing but not learning from history. Before you hail your newly found love and honeymoon, please reminisce those who fought in bush together with M7. If war-hardened fellas fell and some were felled, who are you to become an exception to the general rule? Remember. The sugarcane if sweet when it is fully of garapa. Once it has been sucked dry, it just becomes but bagasse. When you ponder on the nuggets of wisdom I’ve offered, please don’t forget to deeply dwell on how this tragicomic drama. 

Source: Observer Uganda today.