The Chant of Savant

Thursday 16 March 2023

Letter to Muhoozi Keinerugaba, Tweet Even More Please

Muhoozi, before saying something, I must remind Ugandans the best day the country has ever had. On 24th April 1974, Uganda and the world were blessed with and received one of the most powerful sons of presidents in the world, you. This is the time you (he who avenge or revenges) came to this earth to save some of earthlings from the ennui of a long-time ruler who happens to be one of your makers. It is the time your great mother gave birth to you, the great son of president who wields as much power as his father, the son who needs more power. Indeed, your arrival wasn’t a habitual occasion. It wasn’t like the birth of small men and women who come from poor and weak families. Yours was the birth of a saviour of some sort, especially for those who don’t believe that the more things change the more they remain the same. You know what I mean. Still, you’re a saviour for the status quo so to speak as far as Ugandan politics is concerned.

            Dear Muhoozi, a few weeks ago, you, as the most power son of the most powerful man you unveiled what Ugandans need to make do with.. Yep, you started to bite at the power that your dad’s been eating on for long. Because of your significance and that what you want everybody to know and made do with you fired a tweet Kenya threatening to take and occupy it within two weeks. No joke. You’re not joking. Did you mean business or you’re just looking the way take a bite on power and come out of the political closet.  This, for me, shows your significance as the son of the most powerful man in Uganda as the most powerful son of the president over the insignificance of the rest that can be taken for a ride. The twosome of–––without forgetting your mother––––are the most powerful people Uganda’s ever had. Let Ugandans know that your trinity’s unshakably intact and unique since you’ve made Uganda what it’s today, rich for them and poor for the rest.  Let them know that you still have a lot to offer, and Ugandans must wait for more surprises from this trinity.

            Dear good General, underscoring your greatness and significance, I propose that next time you tweet, all Uganda’s media must support you by subscribing to your tweeter account I propose that your tweets must be made breaking news in all Ugandan media. I know those who don’t like you, dear good general, will wag tongues thinking I’m trying to get a mileage out of this assertion, or I might have been paid to say this. Nope, what I’m saying is as simple as the tweets themselves. I know those who don’t know the importance of the first family, you, the mother general, and the father general, wrongly think that their lives––––that are adversely impinged on with uncertainties your tweets cause. Go figure. Guys, who are you in Uganda? Who bewitched or cheated you not to get it?

            Dear General, when the story of your tweets and threats to Kenya surfaced in the media, a friend sent me an email complaining about the uncertainties they’d cause. Also, he’s concern about the EAC, which’s never delivered anything. I scolded him to stop being selfish, evil, and naïve since things have changed. Christians believe Jesus died for their sins though they’re told everybody to carry one’s cross. To the contrary, politicians believe that citizens must die for them and their sins. Methinks this is the genesis for many African rulers to live larger than life while their taxpayers live in penury. I told the guy to consider other related things such as the disturbances democracy’s been causing in many African countries that tried it and ended up abusing it through vote rigging and tampering with constitutions to extend their time in office.
            Dear General, methinks Ugandans––––whether they like it or not­­­­–––should brace themselves to see you becoming their leader shall anything happen to your father. This is simple to decipher. When I consider your gruff rise in the army, you can easily know what I mean. Also, if you interrogate the reason[s] behind your father’s clinging unto power, you’ll be on the same page with me. More so, if you consider the powers your mom has behind the curtains, you’ll agree with my hypothesis. To give those who pretend to deny the truth, I want them to ask themselves as to why your tweets are leaving everybody shocked? Is the system testing the waters? Is it preparing Ugandans psychologically for what’s in the card in the upper echelons of power wherein manipulations are one of bread and butter of its mainstay? Why have you become such important this time around? Let’s get as serious as a seal instead of trying to screw over this rear up of your display. What do you aim to achieve if not more power?

            Dear General, in sum, let me wish you a very spiffy tweeting mission. The Swahili sage’s it that clouds are the signs of rains. Therefore, what you’re seeing with regards to your centrality is but the beginning if not the tip of the iceberg. Tweeting threatening the neighbour is one leg in the waters. The sage’s it that if you can’t beat them, join them. Whether they like you or not, they need to understand Uganda’s power dynamics, especially after your dad came to power and altered everything to his advantage. If he were able to prop up you so quickly that way in the military, how can he fail to do so in the office of the president? Once again, Dear General, you seem to brace yourself for big things. Big things come to big people. That’s my titbits of sagacity. Ring-a-ding-ding, nothing but.

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