In Praise of Kanywaji!

          First of all, I'd like to wish Felix Sit Annus Novus or Happy New Year to all my readers.

In his famous book, In Praise of Folly, Desderius Erasmus wrote, “...prick up your ears and I'll tell you how many benefits I bestow on both men and gods, how widely my sacred powers extend.” Yeah. We need to tell gods the truth they don’t want to hear. Though, when we tell them in a light and right way, they’ll love it. This is my New Year’s resolution --- to unpack and hammer more agonizing stuff to those gods. Again, given that this is the hunk of boozers, it is the right thing to do.

Erasmus’ book made him famous especially after Johann Gutenberg discovered printing press in1450. With his quips and wits, Erasmus used to poke funs, puns, lampoons and innuendos into the mighty especially the kings and bishops (gods). Today, just like Erasmus, I’ll write about kanywaji which turns bibbers into politicians. Praising Kanywaji, instead of gods, makes people laugh at themselves before feeling pity and guilty of their own deeds. Actually, my work is to open the hidden world of gods. The difference though is: bibbers don’t tell lies like politicians. They only tell lies to liquor sellers when they want to loan booze and don’t suck anybody. They don’t abuse money but liquor.

As a votive bibber, I can tell you: there’s nowhere on earth we enjoy freedom like at the pub aka parliament. There, we feel protected just like MPs. If anything, drinking or talking is our ordnung (unchallengeable rule). Differently, we don’t receive kickbacks or sitting or lying allowance. We schmooze and feel like we’re wiser than Greek philosophers. We know what others don’t know. We love our art of Sipping just like politicians love corruption.

We don’t care about how people look at us. We know: they regard us losers while we actually are gainers. We don’t make mountains out of mole hills like politicos do. We’re not movers, shakers and rainmakers. Again, our discussions create fear in those thought to be smarter. We take on everybody coming our way. We’re not cowards and hypocrites. We speak our mind regardless whether it touches to the gods or angels.

Of concern is the mega theft that’s recently reported in the ministries of power, domestic and monkey business. Those who steal our monies are still in office. Presidenza andTakokuru would like to keep tabs on ‘em. Sadly, these creatures are so elusive. Presidenza and Takokuru don’t see them. They’re a government within another.CAG’s report always discloses mega theft. I no longer read CAG’s stuff for the fear of dying of heart attack. It is as if we’re manned by mad and mediocre people. Mark my words. Kanywaji makes bibbers edgier so as to see the unseen, say the unsayable and touch the untouchables. In a sense, kanywaji makes us brave and bold and optimize our ability to think.

I’m not trying to rat on anybody. There, recently, has developed very appalling hypocrisy. Known thieves have nowadays turned the Houses of God into ceremonial masquerade. They steal money from public and pretend to donate it to the development of the society especially the construction of Houses of God. Can devils and sinners build the house of God? What’s wrong with those who invite them? Aren’t they accomplices? Are they building the house of God or house of thieves? Nowadays, God has become a conduit for theft. It is sad that the so-called believers have allowed themselves to be taken for a ride by their thievish leaders.

Bibbers are absolutists when it comes to dealing with whatever anomaly. We know: people call us fyatus or the crazy ones. We pay no damn. Who is crazy? The bibber who tell the truth or those who tell lies even to themselves? Who is bloody crazy, imbibers who speak their minds openly or those who rob even unborn creatures? When you steal public money, you steal from everybody (those alive and those that will come thereafter). When you sell the hunk you sell the future. Does this need one to have a PhD to understand? Again, those guys, despite having their fake PhDs, don’t get it. They’ve eyes they don’t see and they’ve ears they can’t hear. How can they if at all they’re heartless and shameless? How many do you know? I’m contemplating about inviting Presidenza to booze so it can hone him. And once this is done, surely he’ll take on these creatures given that he once said that he has the lists of almost every criminal in the hunk. Believe me. Presidenza is a very serious man who fears nobody except nothing. The problem he faces is the lack of kanywaji.

Bibbers live simple and poor life. Thieves live complicated and controversial life. Bibbers only steal a little from their wives while big thieves steal from everybody. We steal peanut while they rob billions. Who’s a national calamity; the bibbers or the big connected thieves? Whom do you hate to love between the duo? To me, a wise bibber is better than a boorish king. The ant that builds a smart termite is better than an engineer who built a substandard skyscraper. Don’t we know? How many buildings are ticking bombs around Kariakoo? How many substandard roads have ever been constructed in our hunk? Aren’t engineers and officials behind these projects smaller than ants? Epicurus said, “It is folly for a man to pray to the gods for that which he has the power to obtain by himself.” Oh my! Oh my!

Source: Thisday Dec.,1-6, 2013.

Unafiki na ujambazi wa waingereza

Bila aibu yoyote nchi za   Magharibi haziachi kuwalaumu majambazi zilizowatengeneza kuibia Afrika. Tuna majambazi kama Jomo Kenyatta, Mobutu Seseseko, Jean-Bedel Bokassa, Felix-Heuphet Boigny, Moise Kasavubu na wengine wengi waliotengenezwa na mataifa ya magharibi na kuigeuza Afrika shamba la bibi.

Ni bahati mbaya kuwa hata baadhi ya vibaka hawa kufa au kuondolewa madarakani, Afrika imezalisha vibaka wengine wa kizazi hiki. Leo wakati tukimaliza mwaka tumeona lau tulete baadhi ya sura za unafiki na ujambazi wa mataifa ya magharibi yakiongozwa na mama yao Uingereza.

Habari njema Madiba atoka hospitali

Taarifa zilizotufikia kama zilivyorushwa na kituo cha habari cha eNCA ni kwamba rais wa kwanza wa Afrika Kusini Nelson Mandela Madiba ameruhusiwa kutoka hospitali ambako alikaa kwa siku 18. Wananchi wengi wa Afrika Kusini na dunia nzima walikesha wakimuombea apone haraka hasa wakati wa sikukuu za Noeli. Ni habari njema kwa wapenzi na mashabiki wa mzee Madiba. Kwa habari zaidi GONGA hapa.

Tathmini ya kufungia mwaka

NITAJE au nisitaje? Wajua? Mke wangu mama Kidume anamilki NGO ya MAWA ambayo imetuingizia fweza kiasi cha kuwa tajiri hata kuliko mimi mwaka huu.
MAWA licha ya kumuingizia bi mkubwa mshiko wa nguvu, imesaidia kupeleka huduma mbali mbali kama elimu na afya kwenye jimbo na mkoa wangu na ule wa bi mkubwa. Kwa kutumia jina la kaya tumeweza kusheheni huduma makwetu huku tukiwaacha walevi wakiparurana kwa ajili ya huduma hizi.
Hii inaitwa huduma ndani ya hujuma. Hata pesa ninayotumia kunywa gongo huwa mara nyingi inatokana na hii taasisi nyeti ya MAWA.
Mwanangu kidume naye hakubaki nyuma. Nimempitisha kiasi cha kuweza kugombea ulaji kwenye umoja wa vijana wa kijiwe. Kidume anayemiliki kampuni ya KUCK yaani Kidume Untachable Kid of Chief naye ametengeneza mshiko si kawaida.
Huwezi ukaamini hata yule mwanangu mlevi Milaji naye ni bilionea kwa sasa! Atashindwaje wakati dili zilikuwa za kumwaga? Kwanza ukiwa na ukuu kila kiumbe anakuabudia. Unaonekana kama malaika. Hata hivyo inabidi tuchukue chetu mapema tukijua fika kuwa ukuu ukituondokea waliokuwa wakituabudu.
Watatushit na kukimbilia watakaokuwa wamechukua nafasi yetu. Hivyo usishangae kusikia Mpayukaji amejitahidi kufanya kila kitu hasa ndani ya mwaka uliopita. Si haba. Nilipanua idadi ya nyumba ndogo zangu. Nyumba ndogo hamsini na saba na wanaharamu arobaini na wanne. Hata walevi walifuata mfano wa kiongozi wao kwa kukazana kuzaana na kuijaza kaya.
Haya ni matokeo ya sera bora ya mgao wa mameme ambao umewapa fursa ya walalanjaa kuzalisha wengine ili tuendelee kuwanyonya na hata kuwauza.
Hivyo wale waliokuwa wakilaumu miradi kama Kagodamn, HEPA, Richmonduli na Dowans washindwe na walegee.
Hawakujua tulipoianzisha tulilenga kuongeza idadi ya watu ili majirani zetu wasije kutuvamia na kutupiga hata kwa mingumi kwa kutumia wingi wa watu wao.
Pia mwaka huu ulikuwa ni mwaka mmoja tangu kusafirishwa kwa wanyama waliokuwa wakila majani na kuharibu mazingira.
Najua wengi walichonga kuwa tumeuza wanyama nje bila kujua kuwa tulikuwa tunawapunguza ili kuepusha uchafuzi na uharibifu wa mazingira.
Kwa kimombo hii inaitwa ecological equalization based on termination and elimination aimed at making billions for a cabal of swindlers and mightier thugs like us.
Kuonesha sayansi hii ya kuhamisha wanyama inavyopaswa kuwa sera ya taifa, tunamaliza mwaka kwa kuwa na mtaalamu wa kuhamisha nyara aitwaye Amdaraamani Kinamna kama mkuu wa chama. Pia katika safu za juu tumemrejesha mtaalamu wa mambo ya HEPA aitwaye Phil Mangura ili kwenye uchafuzi ujao atusaidie kutengeza mshiko mwingine kama ule uliotumika kutuingiza kwenye ulaji kwenye uchafuzi uliopita.
Ndugu walevi, ikumbukwe pia kuwa huu mwaka unaoisha ulikuwa ni mwaka wa kuwapa nguvu ndata.
Hii kwa kimombo huitwa empowerment and embarrassment of the criminals especially when those supposed to stop crime commit it at a very high magnitude.
Kutokana na kutaka ndata wawe na nguvu za kutisha ili walevi wawaheshimu, tuliwaruhusu kuua kila wanayeona ni tishio kwa ulaji wetu. Walianza na Mwangosi na kuendelea na wengine wadogo wadogo.
Ila katika utekelezaji wa empowerment yao kulitokea kitendo kinachopaswa kulaaniwa dunia nzima.
Wapiganaji wawili waliuawa kule Ngala. Hata hivyo, tutahakikisha waliotenda kitendo hiki ambacho hata Mungu hatakisamehe watasakwa wao wajukuu zao hata vitukuu na kuadhibiwa ili liwe somo kwa wengine.
Ndugu walevi, mtakumbuka kuwa mwaka huu mzee mzima na bi mkubwa wangu hatukuzurura kwenye vijiwe marafiki. Hii ni baada ya kusikia mkilalamika sana. Hivyo, kuonesha tunawaheshimu tulipunguza kuzurura.
Hivyo mwapaswa kunipigia makofi ili kunipa moyo wa kuendelea kuwasikiliza hata kama wakati mwingine nitawasikiliza na kuwapuuzia.
Ndugu walevi, hotuba yangu haiwezi kuisha bila kutaja mafanikio katika sekta ya pesa ambapo kaya yetu imefanikiwa kuingia kwenye kumi bora kwa kuwa na uchumi mzuri kiasi cha kuzalisha pesa nyingi hadi nyingine kukoswa pa kuiweka.
Hivyo, tuliamua ipelekwe Uswisi. Hii itasaidia kutangaza kaya yetu na kuweza kuvutia wachukuaji sorry wawekezaji.
Wapinzani wetu walijidai kutusingizia kuwa pesa hii ilifichwa kule kiwizi. Kwa kujua janja yao tuliwaanzishia kampeni chafu na ya kisayansi ambapo kinara wao bwana Willy Silaha tulimzushia kuwa ni mwanachama wetu.
Hivyo, badala ya walevi kuendelea kujadili mambo ya Uswisi walidakia hili la kadi nasi tukaendelea na mipango yetu ya kukuza uchumi kwa njia ya kuhamisha pesa ili isiwe nyingi na kufanya kila mtu kuwa nayo hivyo watu wakaacha kuzalisha.
Kitaalamu hii huitwa, financial relocation aimed at avoiding overflowing knock on effects.
Ndugu walevi, Mwaka unaoisha umeonesha mafanikio katika ujenzi wa mahekalu. Sasa hivi kaya yetu inaheshimika na kuogopwa kutokana na kuwa na mahekalu mengi yenye hata hadhi kuliko lile la Sagrada familia kule Barcelona.
Nadhani mlisikia watu kama Eze Maige wakitajwa kuangusha mijengo ya bei mbaya tena kwa kununua kasha kwa dolari. Huu ni ushahidi kuwa sera zetu zimeleta ufanisi hakuna mfano.
Pia kaya yetu imefanikiwa kujitangaza kimataifa. Kila wiki tumekuwa tukipokea ujumbe toka majuu ukituletea jezi za mipira kama alama ya kuonesha sisi ni wachezaji bora katika utawala. Hamkuona juzi pale kijiweni nilipoletewa jezi ya timu maarufu huko Ukamerunini iitwayo I have forgotten everything except fooling the mighty.
Wakati tukijiandaa kufunga mwaka, tunazidi kuwaahidi kuwa tutafanya maajabu mengi ili kuhakikisha tunaendelea kujulikana ulimwenguni. Kwa mfano, tumeazimia kukaribisha wawekezaji hata wachukuaji wengi ili kujulikana zaidi ulimwenguni. Tutapanua huduma zetu kwa kuwa wakarimu kwa wageni wetu. Tutazidi kuwapunguzia kodi huku tukizidisha mgao kwa walevi ili wazaane sana. Pia mwaka ujao tutaanzisha utaratibu wa kuyatibu mateja yaliyo maarufu. Hii ndiyo njia mujarabu ya kupambana na unga.
Badala ya kupambana na wauza unga unapambana na wala unga. Maana wanaouza hawaathiriki kama walaji. Wauza unga wanatajirika hivyo hakuna haja ya kuzuia watu kutajirika. Badala yake tutawaacha wauze. Sisi tutashughulikia kutibu mateja. Pia mwaka ujao tutaendelea kuwaenzi wasanii kwa kuwakaribisha kwenye pakuu pa pakuu ili kuwaingiza mkenge waendeleee kutupigia debe sisi na usanii wetu.
Kumbe leo ni boxing day! Acha niwahi nyumbani kufungua zawadi ili huyu mama asijenizidi ujanja.
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Desemba 26, 2012.

Wakati mwingine tunatawaliwa na vichaa

Ben Ali na mkewe Leila Trabelsi
Nyumba ya Ben Ali rais wa zamani wa TunisiaGari la bei mbaya inasemekana alikuwa na zaidi ya 40.Mabunda ya noti cha kulala cha Ben AliNdege binafsi ya Ben Ali

Hii si peni bali ndege

Amangula, old wine in a new wineskin

Ee Kanwaji ee Kanywaji, I love you with all my heart. I truly love you Kanywaji. I adore you, however, not every Kanywaji. Warning: Never sing this song in the presence of the lady with whom you share bed and bedroom. The song above is my favourite especially after swallowing Kanywaji as I prepare myself to face my lioness back home where the first question is always, “How many women have you seduced,” I always answer none even if I've had just been skinned by small house. Today, I’m going to speak in prophetic parlance. "Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy." Alexander Fleming (1881-1955). Again, is it all brands of wine that make people happy or is it just a perception? This is subject to debate. Today, I’ll go with the idea that wine makes people happy. Now that wine makes you happy, what transpired recently seems to dispute this assertion. When the ruining, sorry, ruling party invented a “new” brand of wine known as Amangula, we bibbers were neither moved nor amused. Even if we’re in love with kanywaji, weren't duped. How could we endorse an old type of wine just because it is in a brand new bottle? Did the maker think that we’d mistake of Amangula for Amarula? Yeah. For, before it’s launched, it used to rot in stores almost everywhere. Somebody tried to sell it in 2008. It was flatly refused. The swallowers in many pubs in Nyarukoro’s areas can nicely tell you how the said wine was neglected whenever it was advertised. Again, the winemaker Mr. Prof. Gwiji, Jake Kikweliquor of Common Con Manufacturers (CCM) Company assured himself that he’d brought a new stuff. To the bibbers, Amangula and Amasekwa are old illicit stuff which shouldn’t be in the pubs instead of historical books. Sadly, when this illicit liquor was launched in county of Bihawana Red, almost all vuvuzelas went wild praising it instead of cursing it. Again, are they trying to sell a pig in a poke or something? It baffles to note that this monkey business has been consuming a lot of money. After Amangula was launched, it’s been touring all regions of the hunk to entice the bibbers. It is put on the plane every now and then to be delivered to deaf and blind bibbers. I’m happy that such obnoxious and outdated wine is not served at our pub aka parliament. If anybody brings this toxic wine, I swear. He’ll get out with a bloody nose if not broken ribs or neck. How can they keep on fooling us even if we are bibbers? Along with Amangula is AmaKnana-another brand of old stuff otherwise presented as new. Did he think we’d mistake it for Cognac? Is there any difference between AmaKnana and Amakamba or Amakama? Who’s fooling whom in these ballyhoos of wine making? Do they think we've easily forgotten how these two brands helped mega thieves to rob our EPA money? If they've forgotten, we haven’t. We still remember vividly how these two brands of wine were instrumental in pilfering our dosh. We still know: they've been purposely re-introduced in the system so that they can intoxicate people. Thus, enhance another mega theft. Will they succeed this time around? Who knows? This is Bongolalaland where any megalomaniac crimes can be committed and those committing them get away with it. Again, icons like Dr. Willy Slaa will nary sip these illicit liquors. Methinks. These con-wine makers would have opted for Gongo in lieu of Amangula and AmaKnana. So too, they’d have made it known that gongo is not as illicit as their’ new’-old-illicit stuff. What drove Mr. Wine maker to re-invent old illicit stuff whereas he’d have invented new ones? Is it because his farm has all rotten grapes? Is it because his winery is getting old so as to lack supply and manpower? Maybe, he misunderstood the famous saying that wine improves with age. Again, the saying is, “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.” Didn’t Mr. Wine maker know that life is too short to drink bad wine? Many thinkers, especially imbibers, still wonder why the man went for old stuff such as Amangula and AmaKnana while there are new brands such as Amapepe of Mape. Again who wants to mix wine with bhang? Why reinventing stuff like Amamegheji while there are other brand new stuff? It is sad to note that even young people with such sharp eyes are succumbing to such old stuff. I didn't hear them oppose the move that fools and feeds them old stuff. Were they duped by the new bottle? Are the youths going to rebel or are waiting to fulfill the prophecy? It was said, “Gentlemen, in the little moment that remains to us between the crisis and the catastrophe, we may as well drink a glass of champagne.” Paul Claudel (1868-1955). Do they know that what is to come for CCM is nothing but demise? Is it because of power or intoxication that makes them dull and passive or abracadabra? If the in-thing were old wine, if I were he who faked the wine, I’d have gone for chateau Lafite if not Mouton Rothschild or Romanee Conti. Again, reinventing Amangula and AmaKnana is but a joke of the year. Anyways, maybe, this is the way the guys want us to lapse the year --- with scandalous flapdoodle otherwise called invention. "Good wine needs no bush," William Shakespeare. Source: Thisaday Dec.,24-30, 2012.

Madudu haya yangefanywa na serikali hali ingekuwaje duniani?

1. 
   
   
   Wahafidhina nchini Mali wamekuwa wakibomoa majengo ya kihistoria. Ni majengo yanayoonyesha jinsi Uislam ulivyoingia Afrika miaka mingi iliyopita. Ni bahati mbaya kuwa wanaobomoa majengo haya nao wanajiita waislam. Je madudu haya yangefanywa na serikali tungeshuhudia maandamano kiasi gani duniani? Kwa habari zaidi tafadhali GONGA hapa.

Ni ushindi wa Mahakama na Lema

Kurejeshewa ubunge kwa mbunge wa Arusha Mjini Godbless Lema ni ushindi mkubwa kwa demokrasia na kurejeshwa heshima ya mahakama. Baada ya kesi yake kukumbwa na mizengwe, ubazazi, upendeleo hata kupinda sheria, hatimaye mahakama imeamua kurejesha heshima yake kwa kukataa kutumiwa kama nepi na wanasiasa uchwara wasiopenda demokrasia. Tunachukua fursa hii kuipongeza mahakama na Lema na CHADEMA kwa kutetea na kulinda demokrasia. Alluta Continua!

Kwanini rais wetu anakuwa kituko kila uchao?

Rais Jakaya Mrisho Kikwete akipokea jezi toka kwa mmiliki na Mwenyekiti wa Klabu ya Ligi Kuu ya Uingereza, Sunderland, Bw. Ellis Short huku Makamu mwenyekiti wa Klabu hiyo Bw. David Milliband na Mkurugenzi wa Masoko wa klabu hiyo Bw. John Farnan wakiangalia bada ya mkutano wa na Rais Ikulu jijijni Dar es salam leo.

Wabunge wababaishaji sasa wachapwe bakora

BAADA ya mnywa kahawa mmoja fyatu ambaye zamani alikuwa memba wa kijiwe chetu kuja na mpya kuwa wahishimiwa wabungwe warambwe bakora kama wataboa, kijiwe kimekaa kama kamati na kupendekeza adhabu nyingine kwa watakaofanya madudu.
Dk. Mgosi Machungi anaingia na gazeti la Tz Ever. Hata hasalimii. Analianzisha, “Wagoshi, kwei sasa nimeamini kuwa mapinduzi yanaanza kunukia,”
Dk Mbwa Mwitu anadakia, “Dk Mgosi, hata salamu hakuna! Inaonekana hii imekuingia sana. Maana salamu zako ni mapinduzi uliyo nayo kichwani mwako,”
Dk. Mbwa tiheshimiane, imeniingia nini hiyo. Acha kunishongeza kwa waheshimiwa uulize ninachomaanisha,” Anampa Mbwa Mwitu nakala ya gazeti la Tz Ever ili ajioneee kilichomsibu.
Mbwa Mwitu analipokea gazeti kwa haraka haraka ikichukuliwa kuwa kijiweni wanunuzi wa magazeti si wengi.
Kusoma kichwa cha habari tu anasita na kusema, “Kweli Mgosi ulikuwa na haja ya kutosalimia na kuhemkwa. Yaani huyu mama anataka eti wahishimiwa wa mjengoni warambwe bakora wakiboa! La illah ill-allah!”
Wakati akishangaa Dk Mipawa anadakia, “Unashangaa nini? Mbona pendekezo zuri tu. Kama wao walitunga sheria ya kuwapiga wengine bakora kwanini wao wasipigwe iwapo wote ni wana kaya na tuko sawa?
Mie napendekeza zaidi. Hata kama mkuu akifanya madudu kama ilivyo naye arambwe bakora. Mbona mzee Mchonga alimraba bakora waziri Fundukura wakati alipotuhumiwa kupokea mlungula? Unadhani leo angekuwa mkuu si wengi wangevimba makalio.”
Kijiwe hakina mbavu.
Wakati tukiwa tunavunjika mbavu, Dk Mpemba alinyaka mic na kulonga, “Mie nansapoti sana huyu mama. na kama angekuwa hajaolewa mie ningemuoa ili ajenshauri jinsi ya kukomboa watu wetu.”
Mpemba anaendelea, “Mie naona viboko havitoshi ati. mbona Uchina wapiga risasi bila kujali ukubwa wa cheo cha ntu? Kama siyo kutawaliwa na vibaka, wanafiki na wehu tungekuwa tunapiga risasi wanaoibia umma hasa mafisadi,”
Dk Kapende hangoji, “Leo Dk Mpemba umenikuna sina mfano,” Kabla ya kuendelea Dk Mchunguliaji anaingilia, “Dk Kapende hiyo lugha kaka. Amekukuna wapi na vipi?” Kapende anacheka na kusema, “We unaona wapi na vipi?”
Profesa Msomi Mkatatamaa ameishaanza kuhisi utani unaweza kuvuruga mada. hangojei Kapende ajibiwe. Anakatua mic, “Waheshimiwa tukubaliane. Kuna haja ya kuwa na katiba yenye meno badala ya hili gunia lenye kila matundu ya ujambazi tulilo nalo. Hivi kwa mfano wahishimiwa wanaosinzia au kuongopa mjengoni unategemea wafanywe nini?”
Hangoji ajibiwe. Anaamua kujijibu mwenyewe, “Mie naona wangechapwa bakora kabla ya kupewa adhabu nyingine kama kufukuzwa uheshimiwa na kutakiwa warejeshe nusu ya mishahara waliyolipwa. Pia kuna majambazi wa kielimu ambao wamo mjengoni kwa vyeti vya kughushi.
Ingekuwa si heshima yangu kwa haki za binadamu, hawa ningeshauri wavuliwe nguo na kurambwa bakora kabla ya kupigwa mawe na hatimaye kuchomwa moto,”
“Profesa huna haja ya kuhofia haki za binadamu. Mafisadi si binadamu bali binsheitwani Audhubillillahi minna shaitwan rajiim,” Anadaki Dk Madevu.
“Hapana. Ni binadamu. Hivyo, kwa vile kaya yetu haijaondoa adhabu ya kunyotoa roho, tunaweza kuwanyonga tena baada ya kuwavisha suti na kuwapa mlo mzuri ilmradi watokomee na kuwa somo kwa wengine,”
Akiwa anakunywa kahawa yake ili aendelee kutoa pwenti ndata kama watatu hivi walipita wakiwa na bunduki zao. Nadhani ni wale wasio na kazi bali kuzurura mitaani na likitokea tukio la ujambazi hasa wa kutumia silaha wanakimbia na silaha zao.
Mpemba anawaona na kuongea kwa sauti ya chini, “Mie naona na hawa ndata nao wapaswa kupigwa bakora na kuchomwa moto kwa wanavyoua watu siku hizi. Maana mie sasa naogopa wao kuliko hata hayo majambazi,”
Kila mtu anageuka kuangalia ndata wakipita bila hata kujali kuwa kuna watu walikuwa wakiwananga.
Mipawa anasema, “Nao siku yao ya kuonja wanachofanya ipo karibu. Hamkusikia huko Ngala ambako nasikia wawili walinyotolewa roho baada ya kumnyotoa mtu asiye na hatia roho! Taratibu tutafika tu ilmradi kila mtu amheshimu mwenzake bila kujali nyadhifa wala kipato,”
Msomi amepata upenyo anarejesha mada kwenye mstari. Anasema, “Mie vitani huwa sihangaishwi na mbwa bali aliyemfuga. Hao ni viumbe wadogo sana wasiwahangaishe. Tuhangaike na hawa walioishiwa wanaopenda kuitwa wahishimiwa kama wezi wa miwa.
Nirejee kwenye kilichoandikwa na gazeti kuhusu kuwapiga bakora wahishimiwa. Ni wazo zuri hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa litatoa somo na fundisho kwa wengine.
Hivi wapuuzi kama Badworse aliyenaswa akipokea rushwa au wale wanaotuhumiwa kuomba rushwa kwenye halmashauri za wilaya ni vibaya kuwapiga bakora tena hadharani? Hivi wale wanaojigeuza makuwadi wa makampuni ya uchukuaji kwa vile wanapewa vijidole vichache tukiwakata vichwa tutakuwa tumekosea?”
Dk Machungi hajivungi. Anakatua mic, “Poofesa mie nakuunga mkono. Sioni haja ya kuwanea huuma majizi kama akina Endeea Chenge au Eddie Owassa ambao mazambi yao yametisababishia mgao wa umeme. Mie hawa natamani kuwapiga zongo hadi wabebe mimba,”
Wanakijiwe wamamshangilia utadhani kafunga goli kweli. Mgosi Machungi kusifiwa hivyo kaamua kuendelea, “Hivi mtu kama Azao Nyaandu kwei akipewa mimba itakuwa ni kumuonea? Timesikia anavyomiika kampuni ya utaii wakati yeye ni wazii wa utaii.”
“We mgosi achia hapo,” Anaingilia Mbwa Mwitu.
Walevi hatuna mbavu kwa jinsi Mgosi alivyoamua kuwatia mimba wanaume bila kujali lolote.
Baada ya profesa Msomo Mkata tamaa kuona watu wote wameshikilia kucheka, aliamua kurejea na kula mic, “Mgosi umesema kweli ingawa hili la mimba sijui litawezekanaje. Kweli kama hii ya huyu waziri wa wanyama kuwa na kampuni ya kuchuuza wanyama si kinyaa jamani?
Nashangaa bado mkuu atakuja na kujichekeshachekesha bila kumwajibisha mshikaji wake. Hivi hawa watu huwa wanampa nini huyu bwana jamani? Nina wasi wasi wasije kuwa makuwadi wa biashara yake na jamaa zake au hata washirika. Vinginevyo upuuzi kama huu ungemuondoa mtu dakika ile ile ulipofumka,”
Kijiwe kikiwa kimekolea si gari la Nyaranyalandu likapita. Tulilitupia mimawe kama hatuna akili nzuri. Kama siyo wale polisi kuingilia, huenda jamaa angekuwa ima maiti au mjamzito wa mingumi yetu. Eti leo ni Jumatano? Kachape kazi siyo mkeo.
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Desemba 19,2012.
 

Tuna rais mwingine ke!

Taifa la Korea Kusini limeandika historia baada ya kuchagua rais mwanamke wa kwanza tangu kuundwa kwa taifa hili. Rais mteule Park Gyeun-hye anaingia kwenye vitabu vya historia kuwa rais wa kwanza mwanamke kwenye taifa  hili. Je Gyeun-hye ni nani? Tafadhali GONGA hapa kwa habari zaidi.

Uhalisia wa serikali yetu

Is it Bongoland, Bongolalaland or Vigogoland?

God so (dearly) loved mankind that he sent his only son to save them, (John 3: 16). So too, the rulers of our hunk loved those they rule so as to send their kids to serve them, (BoT 1: 13 and Health 1:5). When predatory policies blessed by the power that be came into being, our people found themselves in precarious situation. They found themselves being vulnerable to the potential and imminent dangers of the system.  As this unfolded, the devil (charlatans) hoodwinked them (hoi polloi) to take such man-made disaster as a normal- God- given thing! They want them to live like Humilliati of 12^thcentury. Hell no. 

Our people have always lived a squalid life of rascals. Instead of being up in arms or apply political jiu-jitsu, they’ve been made to believe that this is their fate. They're told not to disturb the peace of those who “own” the hunk by deceit. They must leave their plight and fate in the hands of their tormentors!  What fate can be decided by binadams instead of God? How can innocent tax payers keep on cascading down into abject poverty while their homemade thieves are getting richer and richer? 

 I know too well that this piece will annoy many people especially those behind the miseries of our beloved people. They’ll see me as prophet of dooms while they actually have been making the same dooms. Hating or discrediting me is like hating the photo while the one who made it is loved. Again, what goes around comes around. This is an unbeatable phenomenon. People need to be given the benefit of the doubt.

Essentially, we’re sitting on the ticking bomb wrongly thinking it won’t explode! Some politicians have even boisterously taken advantage of it stupid. They pretend to talk about jobs while their kids suffer no Joblessness. Currently, there’s news doing rounds online on nepotistic and corrupt employment of the children of bigwigs in the hunk. True, beneficiaries and their courtiers see nothing in employing the kids of movers and shakers in the hunk. They just say that those guys are fancily educated. Tell it to the birds. How many mkulima’s and mfanyakazi’s children are out there wandering with their degrees while the kids of the biggies chad everything from public big time? How many rambunctious  sons and daughters of paupers are rotting out there without getting a job while the fat cats are dilly dallying in rich made by the way of robbing the public? What a primitive idea!

What we see is what we get. I recently came across names of Bank of Tanzia employees who happen to be kids of the biggies. This scandal of nepotism has gone viral as it rankles online. People are trying to air their pent-up choler by flaunting the names of the kids of politicos employed in public office just because they bear big names. These names are Sallyma Ally H. Mwinyi, Blaziaa William Nkapa, Pamela Eddie Lowassa, Zaria-zari Kawawa, and Fillybat Freddie Sumaye.

Others are AJabir A. Kigoda, Violent Phil Luhani-njoo and Justie Joseph Mungai. Others are Harietha Martenus Lumbago, Rechwo Muganda the daughter of the spouse of the former BoT governor (Dadi Balali), Sallyma Omar Mahita, Tommy Mongella, Likwu Kate Kamba, and Ken Nchimbi-li. 

Evidently, the ministry of Health is not spared of the virus of employing the princes and princesses. On the spot are names such as Drs. Janet Joji Kahamma, Hawaa R. Kawawa, Goony K. Kamba, Aasha O. Mahita and Ama-nii K. Malima. Interestingly, all of them are employed in Dar not Uswekeni. 

The cabinet, too, is not left behind. There are names such as Emmy Nchi mbi, Jan Makamba, Ad-aam K.Malima andAbdi and Hossein Ally Mwinyi. The parliament, too, has the same colour of mighty and glory. Those in the house are Wars and ZayB Kawawa.  I once listed the children of vigogos stashed abroad in our embassies. Names that feature in the list are Nkapa, Sokoini, Tibandebagi, Sija-see (Ona), Mwingi-ra, Ka-fanabo, Mu-nanka, Ka-rume and Msekua to mention a few.

Again, how many children of who’s who in the hunk are in such fat sectors such as TRA, Harbours, Immigration, Judiciary, Tourism, Trade, Minerals and what not? They may think they’re invisible, but the eye of the society sees them. 

The other day little bird told me that the high and mighty would like to see the hunk they’re milking being handed over to their kids and their kids hand it to their grand kids  This way ad infinitum! It means: the mwananchi has no longer a hunk to call his. He’s just a tool in the hands of supremos. This selfishness and greed, if not stopped, is likely to cause morass and chaos. Hyenas can’t think out of their stomachs. This is what one fyatu told me the other day. He said that we’re experimenting hyenaism aka ufisi. We egg those implicated to do the right thing- stop, stop, stop just now.  Are you waiting for a had-we-known regret? Otherwise, what’s going on is a future ayiko-shinju or parent-child suicide. Is it wise to punch a knife’s edge?

“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered, the point is to discover them,” Galileo Galilei. Again, is it Bongoland, Bongolalaland orVigogoland?
Source: Thisday Dec., 17-23, 2012.

Salma Kikwete na nyani na kundule

Watanzania Watakiwa Kujenga Utamaduni Wa Kujisomea Vitabu

Wengi wanajiuliza kwanini yeye haonyeshi mfano na badala yake anatumia muda mwingi kuzurura na mumewe? Kwanini hamshauri mmewe kuwafukuza mawaziri na watendaji wengi aliowateua wanaojulikana kughushi vyeti vya shahada? Je yeye ukiachia mbali kutumia WAMA kujipatia pesa amefanya nini binafsi kuongeza kiwango chake cha elimu?

Na: Heka Wanna na Shakila Galus,MAELEZO

MWENYEKITI wa WAMA Mama Salma Kikwete wito kwa wananchi tabia ya kujisomea vitambu na machapisho mbalimbali ili kujiongezea maarifa yatakayowawezesha kujiletea maendeleo.

Mama Kikwete alitoa kauli hiyo kwenye Makumbusho ya Taifa leo jijini Dar es salaam wakati wa uzinduzi wa makatba kwa ajili ya watoto na watu wazima.

Alisema kuwa elimu ndio silaha pekee ya kukabiliana na maadui watu ambao ni ujinga,maradhi na umaskini na hivyo kujiletea maendeleo.

Mama Kikwete aliongezea mbinu za kujiendeleza kimaisha zinapatikana pia kwa njia elimu kupitia vitabu na machapisho mbalimbali yanayopatikana kwenye maktaba mbalimbali ndani na nje ya Tanzania.

Alisema kuwa hiyo itasaidia katika kuongeza maarifa kwani kutakuwa na vitabu,kompyuta na mitambo ya mawasiliano ambayo itawawezesha watumiaji kupata elimu ya taaluma mbalimbali.

Aidha Mama Kikwete aliwasihi watumishi wa Makumbusho hiyo kuwa ni jukumu lao kutunza maktaba hiyo ili isaidie kukidhi malengo ya kuanzishwa kwake kwa kuandaa taratibu bora za kudhibiti matumizi yasiyo na tija ya maktaba ikiwemo upotevu machapisho na vitabu mbalimbali na uhalibifu wa vitabu unaofanywa na watu wasiotaka maendeleo.

Mwenyekiti huyo WAMA alimshukru Balozi wa Korea Kusini Young Shimo Dho kwa niaba ya nchi yake kwa msaada wa vitabu na vifaa mbalimbali kwa ajili ya maktaba hizo mbili .

Chanzo: Mjengwa Blog.

TAARIFA za mauaji ya raia wema yanayosababisha na polisi ni nyingi mno. Bahati mbaya hata mauaji yanapotokea hakuna anayewajibishwa.
Kabla ya kuendelea na makala yangu, hebu tutoe takwimu chache tu za mwaka huu kuhusiana na mauaji yaliyotekelezwa na jeshi la polisi.
Januari 14, 2012, Mgoyo Mgoyo wa kijiji cha Wegero, kata ya Buswahili aliuawa na polisi.
Februari 4, 2012 mkazi wa kijiji cha Nyarwana, kata ya Kibasuka, tarafa ya Inchage Nyamongo, Daniel Masimbe aliuawa baada ya polisi kumpiga risasi kwenye koromeo.
Agosti 27, 2012 Jeshi hilo lilimuua Ally Zona kwa kumpiga risasi ya kichwa mkoani Morogoro likizuia maandamano ya CHADEMA.
Agosti 30, 2012 huko Chato mkoani Geita David Gilles Vyamana na Gilbert Ntabonwa, wakazi wa kijiji cha Kakeneno waliuawa na polisi wakiwa kwenye nyumba ya kulala wageni.
Septemba 20, 2012. Daudi Mwangosi aliauwa kwa kupiga risasi akiwa kazini kwenye kijiji cha Nyololo, Mufindi.
Novemba 12, 2012 polisi walimuua Rashid Juma (23) huko Bukombe, Geita kumpiga risasi.
Takwimu hizi si za mwaka wote. Hapa hujausisha takwimu zote za mwaka na zile ambapo wahanga wanaouawa na polisi wanaelezwa kuwa ni majambazi kuficha ushahidi.
Hakika ni vigumu kwa sasa kutofautisha jeshi la polisi na genge la wauaji. Kwa watanzania, kwa sasa, hakuna tofauti baina ya majambazi na polisi hasa wale wanaopenda kutumia silaha zilizotokana na kodi zetu kutumalizia mbali tena bila kosa.
Hebu tusaidiane. Askari anayekuja na bunduki yake akimsaka jambazi ambaye hana hata taarifa zake ni askari kweli ua mbabaishaji anayetafuta rushwa au hata kuiba?
Tukio la aibu na kusikitisha lililojiri hivi karibuni Kunduchi Machimboni jijini Dar es salaam ni ambapo mwandishi wa habari wa gazeti hili Shaban Matutu alipigwa risasi mojawapo ya viashiria kuwa hatuna jeshi la polisi kwa ajili ya kulinda usalama wetu.
Inashangaza watu wanaoitwa polisi tena waliokwenda CPP Moshi ‘kupikwa’ kufanya vitu sawa na majambazi. Ni aibu na pigo kwa taifa kuwa na jeshi kama hili likilipwa mishahara na marupurupu kwa pesa ya walipakodi linaowaua kama wadudu wa kawaida.
Kisa cha kupigwa Matutu ni tone katika mabalaa ambayo yameishasababishwa na polisi wetu ambao baadhi yao wamejigeuza genge la mauaji bila sababu ya msingi. Inatisha pale unapoambiwa eti polisi wameingia kwenye nyumba ya mtu bila kujitambulisha wala kumuonyesha search warrant, kumueleza lengo lao, haki zao na kuamini kuwa amewaamini kufanya kazi yao.
Ni balaa zaidi pale waharifu hawa, wanaoitwa polisi, wanapompiga risasi raia mwema wanayepaswa kumlinda kikatiba. utawala wa sheria ni kuwatendea wananchi kwa usawa kwa mujibu wa sheria bila kujali huyu ni ndugu, rafiki, adui au kivyele wangu.
Polisi ni watumishi umma na si wauaji wake. Ni ajabu hata rais bado anamkingia au kumvumilia Mkuu wa Jeshi lenye sifa mbaya ya uuaji wa raia wasio na hatia tena kwa kutumia pesa yao ya kodi.
Si uzushi wala uchochezi kusema kuwa kwa sasa IGP Said Mwema ataingia kwenye vitabu vya historia kama Mkuu wa Jeshi la Polisi aliyeongoza jeshi lililoua raia wema wengi bila kuchukua hatua.
Je rais ana nini na Mwema? Je nini kinamzuia rais kumfukuza kazi licha ya kumchukulia hatua? Hapa tatizo ni kujuana au rais anaridhika na utendaji wa jeshi la polisi chini ya Mwema?
Kuna haja ya kumbana rais atuonyeshe huu utawala wa sheria anaoimba majukwaani kila siku uko wapi na kama upo ni kwa ajili ya nani? Huwezi kutwambia utawala wa sheria wakati watu wanavunja sheria tena kwa kutenda makosa ambayo ni makubwa kama kumwaga damu na hawachukuliwi sheria ukasema kuna utawala wa sheria. Hii ni kejeli kwa utawala wa sheria.
Hebu jikumbushe kisa cha aibu na ajabu kilichotendwa na Mkuu wa Mkoa wa Kanda ya Kipolisi ya Kinondoni, Charles Kenyela aliyeita waandishi wa habari ili kulidanganya taifa.
Kenyela, kwa sababu ajuazo, alitoa taarifa juu ya kujeruhiwa kwa risasi kwa mwandishi Matutu ya uongo na uzushi akijua wazi kufanya hivyo ni kinyume cha sheria.
Alimkashifu Matutu kwa kumwita jambazi wakati siyo. Jeshi lake lilimuumiza yeye na mkewe na bado likawa na mshipa wa kumkashifu. Kenyela alikaririwa akisema eti mwandishi Matutu aliyejeruhiwa pamoja na mkewe, mama J, ni majambazi ambao walikuwa wakisakwa na polisi kwa tuhuma hewa ambazo hakuzitaja.
Ajabu ya maajabu ni kwamba mama J ni mjamzito na raia mwema sawa na mumewe. Inashangaza kuona mtu wa cheo kama cha Kenyela kufanya uharifu usiovumilika lakini bado Mwema akaendelea kumvumilia.
Kinachojidhihirisha kwenye uongo wa Kenyela ni kwamba ima alitaka kuwalinda askari wenzake huku akijua walichotenda ni kinyume cha sheria na kanuni au hakufanya utafiti.
Inawezekana alidanganywa na watu wa chini yake naye akaamua kujivua nguo hadharani.
Tunaandika kutaka Kenyela na Mwema wachukuliwe hatua za kisheria ili liwe somo kwa wengine.
Je hapa anayevunja amani ni nani?. Maana huwezi kuwa na amani bila haki na uwajibikaji. Polisi wameshindwa kuzuia ujambazi na jinai nyingine kama utoroshaji wa madini, wanyama na kufurika kwa wahamiaji haramu.
Badala yake wamekuwa mabingwa wa kuua raia wasio na hatia. Je hapa serikali inaweza kutueleza nini tukaielewa? Jeshi letu la polisi limekuwa kinara hata katika tafiti zinazohusu upokeaji wa rushwa na hakuna anayeguswa na hili? Je hapa kazi ya rais ni nini iwapo wananchi hawana usalama ilhali aliapa kuwalinda wao nchi na katiba yao kwa mamlaka waliyomkabidhi?
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Desemba 12, 2012.

Tuliposherehekea miaka 51 ya udhuru!

TANGU tupate udhuru sorry uhuru miaka zaidi ya 50 iliyopita, walevi walidhani kungekuwa na angalau kitu cha kusherehekea. Kwa hali si hiyo. Tuna uhuru kweli?
Hata hivyo uhuru huo unao wenyewe wanaoweza kuhomola na kuiba bila kuguswa. Wanaoweza kuua bila kuguswa ukiachia mbali kujifanyia madudu ambayo hata wadudu hawajayafikia pamoja na ududu wao. Tunazidiwa hata na wadudu wana uhuru. Hata hivyo na wadudu watu wana uhuru wa kubungua mali zetu kuanzia madini, wanyama, fedha hata afya zetu.
Waliosherehekea uhuru wakati sisi tukisherehekea udhuru wanajulikana. Walialiakana wakala na kunywa damu na pombe zetu huku sisi tukijichana maji ya madimbwi na visima vitoavyo maji vyooni. Hamjaona wanaotiririsha vinyesi mitaani hasa huko uswekeni? Je huko walevi wanakunywa maji au mavi yaliyochanganyikana na maji. No ni maji yalichanganyikana na mavi you name it.
Mjadala wenyewe ulianzishwa na Dk. Mpemba pale alipokuja na kuanza kutushangaa. Alisema, “Nyie hamwendi uwanja wa Uhuru kushereheekeaa Uhuru?”
Hata kabla ya kuendelea Dk. Kapende alidakia, “Uhuru ulikuwa ule wakati wa mzee Nchonga. Huu uhuru au udhuru?”
Dk. Mgosi Machungi hangoji. Anakatua mic, “Ami umesema kwei kabisa. siku ile ya uhuu niikuwa pale Mnazi Mmoja. Tilikula na kunywa hadi tikapuu. Lakini tangu mzee Mchonga ang’atuke na kuwaachia vibaka uhuu uligeuka uzuu,”
‘Sema Udhuru siyo uzuu hatuko Sauzi hapa,” Alitania Dk. Mbwamwitu huku akimpatia kipisi cha sigara kali Mgosi Machungi. Dk. Mipawa na Dk. Kapende hawana mbavu.
Nao inaonekana walikuwa wakimsengenya Mgosi anavyoua “L” na “R” kwa kusema Uhuu badara ya Uhuru.
“Jamani acheni utani. Siku ile mie niikuwa Tanu Youth ligi ambao tiliiongoza kumzomea mume wa malkia iliposhushwa bendea ya Union Jack ya Mwiingiiishi,”
Baada ya kuona hoja inaanza kuyeyushwa na utani na masimango, Profesa Dk Msomi Mkatatamaa anaamua kuokoa jahazi. Anakatua mic na kusema, “Tuache utani. Dk. Mpemba ana hoja tena nzito yenye maana na maanawia.” Anainua kombe lake na kunywa kidogo na kukatua kashata huku akifukuza moshi wa sigara kali na kuendelea, “Hiki kinachoitwa Uhuru kina maana tofauti kwa watu tofauti.
Kwa mfano, kwa wale wanaokula, kuiba, kufuja na kufanya madudu watakavyo bila kushughulikia huu ni Uhuru kweli. Ndiyo uhuru wanaoutaka. Kwa ndata wanaoweza kumiminia watu risasi na kuwamwangosi huu ni uhuru kweli,”
Kinokia chake kinaita hivyo anaamua kukizima ili kuendelea kumwaga pwenti. Anaendelea, “Samahani shemegi yenu naona alikuwa akinipeep. Wabongolalalanders kwa kubeep! We acha tu.”
Dk.Mchunguliaji anachomekea, “Tatizo si wabongo kupenda kudeep. Tatizo ni watawala wetu kuwa wafanya biashara wenye maslahi kwenye makampuni kupe ya simu yanayotoa huduma mbovu kwa bei mbaya,”
“Yakhe usinambie mie kuhusu haya mashirika jambazi. Yanaiba pesa yetu na hatuna pakwenda wenda Tecra wasema wao hawahusiki. sijue wataka twende wapi hawa wezi na wezi wao?”
Profesa anaona mambo yanazidi kuharibika. hangoji Dk Mpemba amalizie malalamiko yake. Anakwanyua mic na kumwaga pwenti, “Malalamiko yenu yanaweza kuelezea ni upande gani wa uhuru mpo. Wanaowaibia pesa kwa kuwapa huduma mbovu wana haja ya kusherehekea uhuru unaowapa haki ya kuwanyonyeni na kuwaibieni.” Anachukua simu yake mfukoni na kuizima baada ya mshirika wake wa Bedroom kumbeep tena. Kabla ya kuendelea Dk Mchunguliaji anashangaa tena na kusema, “Amekudeep tena?”
Dk. Mgosi Machungi naye kampata kibonde wake, anakwanyua mic na kusema, “Mchunguiaji siyo kudeep bai kubeep. Wewe unadhani kudeep ni kuzuri au unataka udeepiwe wewe?”
Profesa Msomi keshagundua kuwa asipoingilia kati mambo yataharibika maana utani wa wanywa kahawa anaujua sana. Anamua kuzima simu na kuendelea, “Tuangalie dhana nzima ya uhuru ambao kwetu ni udhuru.
Wakati tukidanganywa kuwa tunasherehekea uhuru si udhuru, wao bila aibu wala chembe wanatutangazia kuwa kesi ya Dowani imeishakula bilioni 40!
Hapa uhuru uko wapi iwapo juzi juzi walituaminisha kuwa wangewashughulikia majambazi wa njuluku za umma wakati nao wanawatumia hao hao kutumaliza?
Kabla ya kuendelea Dk. Mpemba anachomekea, “Yakhe wasema ukweli. Je wajua kuwa hata magazeti mengi ya dunia sasa yanajua Tanzia inao mabilionea tano mmojawapo akiwamo yule Kagoda na yule mwingine ambaye alilazimisha mwanae achaguliwe nbunge ili aendelee tetea biashara zao?
Je, wajua kuwa bendera yetu sasa yatumiwa na nchi magaidi kufanyia biashara zao? Je wajua kuwa kaya yetu sasa yachimba urani ili itengeze silaha za kutuua sisi wanyonge?”
“Umenena vyema Ami,” Anamuamrisha muuza kahawa amuwekee kahawa anywe hadi alewe maana katoa pwenti si kawaida. anasemea, “We Dk. Shem (huyu ndiye muuza kahawa wetu) mwekee kahawa anywe hadi alewe,” anasemea huku akitabasamu na Mpemba naye anatikisa kichwa kuonyesha amemwaga pwenti kiasi cha kupewa ujiko.
“We Shem, mmwagie kahawa Mpemba hadi azimie,” Anabwatuka Dk. Mbwa Mwitu. Mpemba hajivungi, “Mbwamwitu twaheshiana ati. Kama watakamwagiwa wewe si useme mie nlipe?
Basi mie nsema, Sheem, mmwagie Mbwamwitu tangawizi hadi azimie maana naona ataka sana hiyo huyo,”
Kijiwe hakina mbavu jinsi watu wanavyofungiana nyama hapa.
Profesa anaendelea, “Mheshimiwa Dk Mpemba amesema maneno makubwa. Amevinjari karibu mfumo wote wa maisha unaotuchezea. Amewavua nguo wanafiki na mawakala wao wanaotuibia wakijifanya wanatujengea maisha bora kwa wote wakati wote ni wote wao,”
Anakamata kashata na kupiga tama kahawa na kuendelea, “Hivi mke wa Mwangosi au Shabaan Mitutu wanaujua uhuru? Wanaouawa na kusingiziwa ni majambazi wanaujua uhuru? Watoto wanaonyima pesa ya kwenda kusoma chuo kikuu cha Manzese na vyuo vingine wanaujua uhuru? Wazee wa Jumuia mfu ya Afrika ya Mashirika wanaujua uhuru? Wasichana wa mashuleni wanaojazwa mimba na kuambiwa wana kiherehere wanaujua uhuru? Watoto wanaokalia mawe na kufundishwa na walimu wa UPE wanajua uhuru? Wagonjwa mahospitalini wanaotozwa pesa kumtazama daktari wanaujua uhuru? Ombaomba wasio na suti wanaujua uhuru? Wamachinga pale wanaujua uhuru au wenye maduka ambao wengi ni wageni tena wakimbizi wa kiuchumi? Hivi wale,”
Anakatishwa na vigeregere na makofi toka kwa wanywa kahawa. Akiwa anajiandaa kuendelea kumwaga pwenti ndata wanatokea upande wa Kurasini wakiwa na mibunduki yao. Kila mtu anaamua kujikata kabla hawaja mMatutu au kumMwangosi halafu wakasema sisi ni majambazi kama wao.
Acha niwahi nyumbani kusherehea udhuru toka kwa mshirika wa bedroom!
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Desembe 12, 2012.

Kikwete anapopamba mihadarati

1. 
    vya habari viliripoti jana kuwa rais Jakaya Kikwete alimuokoa teja mmoja maarufu Ray C. Baada ya kufichuka kwa habari hizi ambazo wengi wameona kama ni "roho" nzuri ya mheshimiwa rais, nimeonelea nirejeshe kadhia nyingine itokanayo na mihadarati ambayo ni kifo cha kutatanisha cha mbunge wa CCM Amina Chifupa baada ya kushupalia biashara hii. Je kwanini rais hakuingilia kati kumuokoa? Wengi watashangaa rais angemwokoaje wakati hakuwa teja. Nimaanishacho ni kwamba je rais anahitaji kuokoa mateja mmoja mmoja tena maarufu au wote kwa kuwakamata wauza mihadarati ambao alitwambia mwaka 2006 kuwa ana orodha yao? Je Kikwete anatumia kadhia ya Ray C kujitafutia umaarufu wa bei nafuu au ameshauriwa vibaya? Je Kikwete yuko serious kupambana na mihadarati au ni usanii wa kawaida? Je mbinu anayotumia Kikwete inaweza kuleta suluhu kwa tatizo au kuwa sehemu ya tatizo? Je wasio "masupastaa" wataokolewa na nani? Je Kikwete alidhamiria kumsaidia Ray C au kutumia umaarufu wake kujionyesha kama mtu anayejali? Je wewe msomaji unampa ushauri gani ili apambane na tatizo lenyewe badala ya mashina kama ilivyotokea kwa Ray C?

Bush akamatwa visiwa vya Cayman

Waziri mkuu wa visiwa vya Cayman McKeeva Bush amekamatwa kutokana na tuhuma za ufisadi. Pamoja na visiwa hivi kuwa pepo ya wakwepa kodi bado havikubali ufisadi! Bush aliingia madarakani mwaka 2009. Je tunajifunza nini watanzania? Kwa blogu hii ni kwamba hata kama unaweza kuruhusu wenzio waibe pesa zao kwao wawekeze kwako kwa sababu ya upumbavu wao, hutaruhusu kujiibia wewe mwenyewe. Kwa habari zaidi GONGA hapa.

Riz and Lowassa, please say more

I've these sinking feelings about my beloved hunk especially its renowned elusive peace. It is a niggling love-hate relationship. In academia we've our ways of looking at things. Peace, to us, is not the absence of war but the existence of justice. This is another topic to avoid today.I  hate our hunk for allowing some brigands and selfish politicos to take us for a ride. Methinks. It is only in our hunk any criminal can commit all types of crimes and get away with it. Any person regarded to be mature, however mentally immature is, can utter any fibs and childish stuff. Yet people respect him. There are things people say even bovine can’t subscribe to.

I love my hunk for its dichotomous and paradoxical ways of doing things. Look at how we invest in kanywaji, kitchen parties, and short time “Guest Houses” whose actual guests are not but sinners. Cool uh? Bang! This is another issue for another issue.

For today, our vector is on fictitious-wealth-declaring biz. On the spotlight are Prince Riz Jake Kikwete and his father’s consigliore Eddie Lowassa. The duo left me awe struck. I read the stories of their sideshows through the papers.

I recently attended our session at the pub to chit chat with honorouble bibbers. The in-thing and main topic was this thing they call “deceptive declarations of wealth”--- a way of fooling the hoi polloi. What abracadabra staged by media and power winos! Mshiko at work as it causes people use masaburis to think instead of heads.

While sippers were seriously attacking kanywaji, I was busy reading some Newspapers that claimed that Prince Riz and Eddie had given explanations as to how “poor” they’re. Sadly though, to the contrary, on the material day, our screwed up Tabloids came with such sensational headlines. After being enticed by the headlines, I grabbed the Papers to end up close to fainting with anger. I read from the top to the bottom between and out of the lines to no avail. I ended up tossing one simple word kanjanjas. I’m wondering why Legmen did not ask the whereabouts of Riz’s and Eddie’s wealth such as actual amount in cash, the banks their monies are kept (at home or abroad especially Switzerland), the castles, mansions, villas, shangingis and oil tankers those guys own. Also, they’re supposed to clearly declare their wealth in terms of land they own, companies and whatnot. Again, the media lost it easily. Why? Money talks and it talks louder. Sadly, if this is the way our media is operating, they better sell tomatoes in lieu. Why steal our money by just feeding us mealy lies?

One boozer broke my ribs till my eyes were wet with tears. You know what; he said that the popinjays who interviewed those supremos were ethical tarts. He added that if the said supremos wanted to convince him they’d to declare their suits and nyumba ndogos and such nitty-gritty stuff.

Instead of declaring their wealth, our men declared their lies. They induced the journalists who ended up doing their dirty laundry. Shame on them all! Maybe, just maybe, the journalists were not hoodwinked. Maybe, they’re paid to write such nonsensical and sexed up stuff. Who knows? Being smart in this shamanic Bongo is to have money regardless how degrading or fraudulent one makes the said monies? I feel like breaking somebody’s neck so to speak. It is disgusting and abhorring. Why feeding us with such logos-defying stuff?

Again, who’s fooling whom including himself altogether? Do they think that the Bongolalalanders do not know how they rob them? Do these bloody bloodsuckers think that we are all stupid and mad? On my dead body! I won’t subscribe to these lies and junk ideas. I still believe the guys must come clean else they are leeches in glory of power. Do these guys think: we are proverbial guys that Mr. Peace Karume said their heads are brainless like those of fish?

Look at the ballyhoos I love to hate and abhor. When he’s asked how rich he is, Eddie said that those saying he’s rich are liars. Again, he went on saying that his wealth comes from harambees which receive a boost from his friends. He said that he’s sure. He won’t go bankrupt. Whose lies should we believe? Those saying that Eddie is super rich or he who senselessly says he’s rich without any meaningful explanations?

Against the odd, Riz said that he might have two or three biz. But this does mean he can own such humongous wealth. He didn't say whether he is poor or rich. He is financially hermaphrodite! Tell us how you made the capital for your two or three monkey businesses Sir. This is the only thing that can separate wheat from chaff. I thought these guys would squarely deny that they are rich. Hell no, they didn't  Dudes, do you think we’re going to believe in your topsy-turvy stories of Mr. Hare and Mr. Rabbit? Maybe, Riz didn't want to declare his riches before his father does so. Aristotle said, “If a man does unjust things without being ignorant he is unjust voluntarily.”

Source: ThisDay Dec. 10-16, 2012.

Nchi ya matapeli na vihiyo: naililia Tanzania.

Kwa wanaomjua balozi wa Tanzania nchini Ubelgiji Diodorous Kamala wanamjua kama mtu mwenye shahada ya juu Phd hivyo siku zote humuita Dk Kamala. Na hii imekuwa ikiendelea kwa miaka mingi tangu akiwa mbunge miaka iliyopita. Ajabu eti leo ndiyo anatunukiwa hiyo PhD! Hii maana yake ni kwamba alijipachika cheo cha udaktari akalipwa mshahara wa kiwango hicho wakati hakuwa na sifa. Hili ni kosa la  jinai kisheria. Pamoja na kujulikana kwa ushahidi huu bado rais alimteua kuwa balozi nchini Ubelgiji. Je hapa rais wetu hajashirikiana na waharifu kuhujumu nchi yetu? Kesho utasikia akina Makongoro Mahangaa, Didace Masaburi, Matayo Matayo, Emanuel Nchimbi na Mary Nagu wakitunukiwa PhDs wakati waliishajulikana kama madaktari wakati si kweli.

Muungano wa EAC ni mkuki kwa taifa

INGAWA kuna baadhi ya wenzetu waliuona msimamo wa kiongozi wa nchi, dhidi ya kuwepo kwa sarafu moja ya Afrika Mashariki kama jambo la maana, lawama zinapaswa kupelekwa kwa Rais Jakaya Kikwete mwenyewe.
Wengi tulipinga hata huu ‘Muungano’ wa kuburuzana na kugeuzana majuha, lakini hakuna aliyesikiliza kilio wala ushauri wetu.
Kwa kumbukumbu, nimekuwa mpinzani nunusi wa Muungano wa Afrika Mashariki, sio kwa sababu napenda kuwa kisiwa bali kutokana na sababu zenye mashiko.
Kwa mfano, Rais Kikwete anapoanza kulalamika na kuonya kuhusu hatari ya kuwa na sarafu moja wakati haoni hatari ya kuunganisha nchi zenye ardhi kubwa na zisizo na ardhi kabisa, anamaanisha nini?
Je, kama rais, anakosa nini kuingilia kati kwa niaba ya nchi yake? Mbona kwenye kuburuzwa alitumia madaraka yake bila kuchelewa wala kulalamika?
Tulisema, na tunazidi kusema, kuwa Muungano wa Afrika Mashariki ni mkuki kwa Tanzania zaidi ya nchi nyingine.
Hebu angalia jinsi nchi karibu zote, ukiondoaTanzania, zilivyo na zigo la idadi kubwa ya watu ikilinganishwa na maneno yao.
Kenya ina idadi ya watu karibu sawa na Tanzania wakati ardhi yake ni chini ya nusu ya ukubwa wa taifa hili, Uganda kadhalika.
Ukitazama Burundi na Rwanda ndiyo unapata kichefuchefu. Fikiria nchi yenye ukubwa wa kilometa za mraba 26,338 na kuwa na watu takriban milioni tisa.
Nchi ambayo ni ndogo hata kuliko Mkoa wa Tabora, ina idadi ya watu kama hiyo halafu eti mnaungana.
Tabora ina ukubwa wa kilometa za mraba 76,151 - mara tatu ya Rwanda na Burundi. Mnaunganisha nini kama siyo umaskini?
Burundi yenye ukubwa wa kilometa za mraba 27,834 nayo ina watu takriban milioni nane.
Uganda ina ukubwa wa kilometa za mraba 93,065 na idadi ya watu takriban milioni 33, huku Kenya ikiwa na kilometa za mraba 224,080 na idadi ya watu milioni 44.
Jumlisha idadi hiyo ambapo ni watu wa nchi zote isipokuwa Tanzania, unapata milioni 80. Tanzania ina ukubwa wa eneo la kilometa za mraba 945,000 na idadi ya watu wapatao milioni 40.
Eneo la Tanzania bado ni kubwa kuliko ukiunganisha nchi zote zinazolilia kuungana nayo kwa mara zaidi ya mbili.
Ukiziunganisha nchi hizo zote, unakuta kuwa zina ardhi yenye ukubwa sawa na takriban moja ya tatu ya Tanzania.
Maana zina ukubwa wa jumla wa kilometa za mraba 371,217. Je, hapa bado kuna uhalisia au kudanganya? Kwanini akina Rais Kikwete na baadhi ya viongozi walishindwa mahesabu rahisi kama haya?
Tuliwahi kuhoji kwanini kama Muungano ni ‘big deal’ tusiungane na Msumbiji na Zambia badala ya nchi hizi nyemelezi zisizo na cha kutuchangia zaidi ya kutunyonya?
Ukija kwenye rasilimali unapata swali lile lile kuwa Tanzania aihitaji kutoa rasilimali zake kwa nchi maskini wakati kuna nchi zenye ufanano kama Kongo (DRC) na Msumbiji linapokuja suala la rasilimali.
Kwanini hatukujifunza toka kwenye muungano wa mashaka na matatizo na Zanzibar jamani? Hapa tunaongelea ukubwa na rasilimali.
Hatujaongelea historia na matatizo ya kijamii nchi husika zinayokabiliwa nayo. Hatujagusia mipango ya wazi na fichi ya nchi husika.
Turejee kwa Rais Kikwete. Je, ameona mwanga au ndiyo kutaka kujiondolea lawama wakati wananchi hawakushirikishwa katika Muungano huo?
Je, Tanzania ilijifunza nini kwenye kuvunjika kwa Jumuiya ya Afrika Mashariki mwaka 1977?
Kuna haja ya kumuuliza Rais Kikwete kwanini yeye na wenzake waliharakisha kuziingiza Burundi na Rwanda kwenye umoja huu bila hata kuwauliza wananchi?
Kumbukumbu zetu ni kwamba, wali-fast track na baadaye wakaja eti kuuliza maoni wakati kila kitu kilikuwa kimeishaamriwa.
Je, namna hii Tanzania haijengi mazingara ya migongano baina ya watu wake na wavamizi watakaozaliwa na Jumuiya?
Rais Kikwete alikaririwa hivi karibuni akisema: “Kwa uzoefu wangu itifaki ya sarafu moja inahitaji umakini kabla ya nchi wanachama kuafikiana.
“Kwa sababu hapo baadaye tutakuja na sera moja ya fedha ambayo itatoa mwanya mdogo kwa nchi mwanachama kukopa fedha nje ya jumuiya...sera hiyo itatoa ukomo wa kiasi cha fedha kinachotakiwa kukopwa na haitakubalika hata kama nchi mwanachama inashida ya kukopa zaidi kufanya hivyo.”
Rais Kikwete alisahau hayo wakati akiridhia kila jambo lililopendekezwa na nchi nyingine bila kuangalia maslahi ya taifa.
Hivi nchi kama Kenya inadai vivutio vyetu viko kwao wakati wakijua ni kinyume na sheria kufanya hivyo, watashindwa nini kukopa kwa kutumia Afrika Mashariki kwa manufaa ya nchi yao huku wakitutupia mzigo?
Nchi zinazotawala kibazazi zitashindwa nini kutumia bandari yetu kuingiza silaha zitakazoishia kuhujumu nchi nyingine?
Je, Rais Kikwete amekumbuka shuka asubuhi? Kama tunahitaji somo juu ya Muungano basi tujifunze toka Marekani, ambao walihofia taifa lao kupoteza kwa nchi maskini kama Mexico, wakaamua kujenga hata ukuta huku wakiacha mpaka wao na nchi tajiri Canada ukiwa wazi.
Lazima tuangalie maslahi yetu. Maana sio busara kuunganisha mbuzi na fisi ukasema umefanya jambo jema. Kama ni muungano basi tuungane na Msumbiji na Zambia na Kongo kabla ya hizi nchi ndogo ambazo hazina cha kuchangia zaidi ya kutunyonya.
Chanzo; Tanzania Daima Desemba 5, 2012.