We're sufferin' from CCM bug?

     Guess what. Today I’m bringing bad news to boozers. It came to our knowledge that many boozers are likely to perish if something isn't nippily done. Being a doctor of everything, I discovered a very alarming situation that boozers are facing. I discovered that many boozers are infected with a disease known as mass aboulia which causes an acute loss of motivation and will due to what we technically call Chronic Crania Malfunction (CCM). Don’t mistake this epidemic with Chama Cha Mapinduzi. Nay, they don’t relate at all save that they’re in the same hunk. This deadly disease deprives its victims the sense of self-consciousness so as to pointlessly allow those they entrusted their ulaji to eat them through robbery known as ufisadi. They tend to forget almost everything crucial and big. They only remember trivial things such as kanywaji,vigodoro, pilau (porno),matamasha and other nonsensical stuff as they forget all important things such as their wellbeing and safety.

Don’t think I am making this up. How many boozers still remember billions of dosh recently reported to have been stolen under Escrow aka screw scheme? Don’t you see suspects showing off in   mjengoni and in the public thanks to boozers’ forgetfulness? Show me who’s pressing for the billions stashed in Uswazi of Swiss banks and to be returned. Who’s questioning why the govt cheated us that it’s spent “radar change” to purchase desks that turned out to be ghost and non-existent?

          More on CCM bug, the findings indicate that those suffering from the bug are always happy with agonizing situations such as the denial of their rights, negligence, malpractices, corruption and whatnot. Ironically, those suffering from CCM show no physical symptoms but they suffer psychologically. When I was trying to answer the question why boozers are robbed days in days out in the broad light, I stumbled on this lugubrious sort of malady. Evidence points at the lack of motivation and awareness that’ve turned our hunk into shamba la bibi.

Moreover, I discovered that this bug is the cause of all miseries our hunk is facing and suffering. For instance, I found that this bug caused our boozers to allow thieves to prey on them every time they decided. Who’s questioning, for instance, a new scheme of changing our voting book by introducing what’s technically known as Biometric Voter Registry (BVR) system that helped some criminals in the neighbouring hunk of Nyayo to rig elections and get away with it? How do you introduce something complicated while your system is vulnerable? I've nary comprehended it for the hunk whose citizenry don’t have even Identify Cards to embark on such a thing.  Deplorable things that the hunk’s doing are a mystery that borders that of Mariana trench.

          After noticing such a mass abnormality, as a professional and expert in human issues, I decided to throw my weight on the predicaments of boozers to find the reason why they’re so docile and abnormal. I found that they’re not to blame. All miseries they've e suffered are not the results of their futility or naiveté but CCM.  So those who blame boozers for their predicaments, plight and fate should know that it is not their fault but that of the malady they are suffering. Thus, this is why they always have been regarded to be hangdog and credulous than never been evidenced anywhere on earth.

There are so many examples that show that our boozers suffer from CCM. Look at how the biggies tell them that the hunk’s bankrupt while the same guys have nary stopped globetrotting and stashing billions in Swiss banks. Do you remember how Saada Mkuyati told the mjengo that the hunk is bust?  Look at how they’re pointlessly and wantonly creating many districts and regions which is nothing but increasing the size of the rule. If the hunk were truly bankrupt the first thing to do would have been to trim or slim the govt. Show me a boozer who’s looking at this extravagance this way. If the hunk were bankrupt where’d it get the so-called makalio or sitting allowance that one MP says is consuming at least five percent of the hunk’s budget? If the hunk were bankrupt’d it dare to purchase oil guzzlers aka Jap Shangingis?

To cut a long story short, if we want help our hunk from this loom and gloom situation, we need to tackle the bug failure to which the situation is going to worsen day by day. Given that every boozer knows that he or she suffers from CCM, it is everybody’s duty to launch and declare war against the CCM so that we can retain our aptitude to think and function just like other normal bin Adams.
Source: ThisDay June 30,2014.

Mnagundua gesi na kuongeza kuomba omba

Mlevi alifurahi sana kabla ya furaha kutumbukia nyongo na kuchukia kusikia kuwa Bongo imegundua kisima kingine cha gesi. 

Nasikia kisima hiki kipya kina gesi ipatayo lita trilioni 85 kwa mujibu wa wataalamu wa masuala ya ulaji huu.
Huu ni ulaji mkubwa si mchezo hasa kama ungeangukia kwenye kaya zenye watawala wenye akili na si Matonya na Wakwapuzi kama niwajuwao ingawa sitawataja majina.
Ni Njaa Kaya tupu! Maana gesi hii kama ingegunduliwa kwenye kaya zenye wasimamizi wenye akili zinazochemka, ilitosha kuongeza gesi kwenye uchumi wa kaya husika tofauti na hii yetu ya akina Matonya.
Wakati wakubwa wakituhadaa kuwa kaya ni kapuku, wajanja wachache wanatafuna na kuhomola njuluku kama hawana akili nzuri.
Hii maana yake ni kwamba huu ulaji uliogunduliwa huko baharini utaongeza ulaji kwa walaji wetu wasio na huruma bali roho mbaya na uroho wa fisi kiasi cha kuitwa mafisi na mafisadi.
Katika kutafakari nini cha kutegemea baada ya kugundulika gesi hii inayopaswa kutuvimbisha kiuchumi na kuondoa umatonya, najikuta nikikata tamaa na kutamani ulaji huu usingeguduliwa.
Taarifa za ugunduzi huu wa ulaji mwingine zilinirejesha nyuma hadi nakumbuka maneno ya mheshimiwa Felix Mkosamali niliyemsikia akisema, “Kamati ya Bajeti inalipwa posho ya Sh. 500,000 kila siku, ni kutafuna fedha tu hapa, hakuna kitu, ni kutengeneza rushwa…wanayaita mashirika kukubaliana nayo.”
Kwa wasiojua anachoongelea Mkosamali, nikwamba Kamati ya Bajeti inayoongozwa na mzee wa vijisenti Endru Chenge a.k.a Bilionea wa Uswazi na Jersey inalipwa njuluku kubwa yaani shilingi nusu milioni moja kwa siku kwa kukaa na kupitisha vitu vya ajabu ajabu. Kwa lugha rahisi ni kwamba kamati husika inalipwa shilingi nusu milioni kama posho ya makalio.
Tunatoa ushahidi wote huu kuonyesha kuwa hata kungegunduliwa machimbo ya dola hapa kayani bado tutaendelea kuomba kwa vile tunapenda sana mchezo huu.
Sijui ni laana ya Matonya au Mchonga! Mimi sijui. Watu wanaoonekana wazima kiakili, wanajigeuza majuha na wehu kienyeji hivi na wakiambiwa ukweli wanasema wametukanwa!
Mwakujua kutukanwa au mnataka mtukanwe?
Mtatukanwa tusi gani wakati ninyi wenyewe matusi na yakiitwa matusi mwaitika tena kwa haraka?
Niliposikia kuwa kisima kingine cha gesi kimegunduliwa si nilikwenda kwenye kanywaji kuwapa taarifa walevi habari njema ya ulaji bila kujua ningeshushuka hadi nikome.
Na kweli, nimekoma na kukomaa kiasi cha kuacha kiranga na kiherehere cha kusifia maangamizi yangu na kaya. Baada ya kutoa nyuzi kuwa tumeongeza ulaji kule baharini, si fyatu mmoja aitwaye Mduanzia akasema eti angetamani kingegeuka kuwa kisima cha kinyesi.
Maana, neema ya gesi, anadai haioni zaidi ya kuwa na kadhia na udhia.
Gesi haijachimbwa, wezi wachache wameshakula chao na kuwa mabilionea ghafla bin vu huku wakiongezea na njuluku za Escrow.
Je! tusiohusika hapa tuna chetu kweli? Anayedhani nazusha au kuchochea awaulize akina Njomba pale Ntwala watamwambia.
Awaulize wawekaji wazawa. Watamwambia jinsi ambavyo muungu-mtu mmoja aitwaye profwesa Sosipita Muongo anavyowawekea mtima nyongo huku akihongwa udoho udoho na upuuzi na wezi wa kigeni wanaokuja kuchukua kwa kisingizio cha kuwekeza.
Muongo huyu alivyo muongo wa kweli utamsikia akijisifu ‘nimefanya hili na lile’ wakati hana lolote bali kusaka ngawira.
Sijui na huo uprofwesa aliupataje!
Maana ukiangalia matendo yake na kusikia maneno yake unashindwa kumtofautisha na wale wahuni wa Mwenge, au alighushi?
Baada ya kutangazwa neema ya gesi, nilipiga picha jinsi waishiwa wapenda kula watakavyoichangamkia.
Nilijikuta nikikumbuka maneno ya Mheshimika mwingine aliyestukia ulaji huu wa bila kunawa wala kuomba, ni Pauline Gekul ambaye alinukuliwa akisema, “Kwa miaka 50 tunakusanya kodi na kula tu…tunanong’oneza, tunaongea, lakini serikali haisikii.Shilingi trilioni 3.7 katika bajeti ya shilingi trilioni 19.8 imetengwa kwa ajili ya kula tu, punguzeni chai, maandazi na posho, tudhibiti matumizi yetu.”
Kwa vile gesi imegunduliwa, bila shaka hawa wapenda vitafunwa wataongezewa gesi mwilini.
Maana hii ni neema yao haswa. Ajabu wakiishamaliza kutafuta hivyo vitafunwa na pesa ya watafunwa, wanakwenda eti kuomba pesa ya kuendeshea sirikali ya watafunwa na waliwa!
Nijuacho wapenda vitafunwa watakaposhiba na kuvimbiwa utawasikia wakitoa gesi kuwa kama mambo yao hayataenda watakavyo basi kaya haitatawalika ukiachia mbali kuingia mwituni au geshi kujazwa gesi na kuchukua kaya.
Hivyo, kugunduliwa kwa gesi zaidi ni pigo kwa mlevi ambaye hana gesi wala hatumii gesi zaidi ya bangi.
Heri ingegunduliwa namna ya kuruhusu na kuhalalisha bangi na gongo kidogo tungefaidi na kupumua.
Maana ulevi wa bangi na gongo hauunguzi kama huu wa gesi.
Kuna mlevi alituacha hoi pale aliposema kuwa anawajua waishiwa wengi walioingia mjengoni wakiwa wembamba kama sindano, lakini muda mfupi waliumuka kama vile wanataka kujaa kwenye ramani ya kaya.
Alisema siri ya kuumuka huku si nyingine bali kutafuna vitafunwa na njuluku huku wakijiongezea gesi hadi wengine kushindwa kuhimili uzito wao. Hivyo, kuvumbuliwa kwa gesi zaidi ni balaa kwa walaji hawa ambao bila shaka wengine watapasuka kama siyo kurejesha namba mapema.
Bila shaka na India nayo inashangilia kugunduliwa gesi kwa vile hospitali zake zitapata wateja wa bei mbaya baada ya kula na kutafuna vitafunwa na fweza ya gesi na kuongeza viribatumbo na gesi, au vipi?
Tuache bangi na utani. Ni aibu kiasi gani kwa kaya kugundua gesi nyingi hivi lakini ikaendelea kutembeza bakuli? Je! Tatizo hapa ni mshiko au ‘problems upstairs?’
Kuna kipindi nakumbuka maneno ya mzee Mchonga aliyesema kuwa, ‘Uchumi wanao lakini wanaukalia.’ Jamani acheni kukalia uchumi huku mkiendelea kuliwa na kulana mbali na kutafunwa na kutafunana. 

CHANZO: NIPASHE 

Please take it easy Mura Werema

When boozers requested me to form Waishiwa Boxing Club (WBC) that I reported in my Boozer’s Corner column I didn't know that some bankrupt biggies would become members though insentiently. Before long, govt’s chief counsel Freddie Werema became the first one to steal thunder. Instead of unpacking wisdom, he wanted to showcase his skill in packing punches. His first punching bag’s supposed to be hon. David Kafulia.

The sage’s it that when wisdom abdicates, fists take over. Who’d risk thinking that a chief lawyer’d display his ignorance and disregard of the law by taking it in his hands? The guy wanted to judge not according to the law but according to anger.  To make matter worse, the said chief lawyer tried to box the mheshimiwa in the august house pointlessly. I’m trying to think. If such ignominy and lack of self-control were displayed by a normal homo sapiens what’d have happened in the first place? Given that our house of august has become another cinema hall where free entertainment is offered, the guy’ll get away with it. Again, is this what Jake Kiquette called bankrupt politicos in his outfit? Why did he appoint such skinny beings in such honourable positions?

You know what. The show started when Kafulila wanted the govt to show cause why it’d not be punished for allowing the theft of Escrow aka screw dosh the scandal in which Were-ma, Saada Mkuyati, A liar Kim Maswi, Prof Benny Ndururu, and Prof Sossie Muongo were water-tightly implicated. As Kafulia held on his guns, Werema stood up to teach him a lesson on how to defend scams. Such a move did not augur well with Kafulia who’s later joined by Hon. Joni Mnyika demanding no-nonsense explanations. Such resilience didn't go well with Werema who stood up and employed unwise wisdom from Ankole tribe saying that the baboon’d not preside over issues of the bush. Such careless utterance forced Kafulia to go ballistic. He hit back hard calling Werema a bandit.

After Kafulia called a spade a spade, Werema stood on his feet and approached him so as to teach him a lesson. Ironically, this time Werema didn't want to use his gift of the gab. Instead, he wanted to use his fist in order to finish the biz of dressing down once and for all. Had it not been for Tyson Steve Wasssira and other biggies to chip in, Kafulia’d have been attacked to the satisfaction of Werema’s mura anger that’s always uncontrollable. If he were a morani we’d say that he had sipped kiroliti before going to the house.

Given that mipashos and knuckles have become another impetus of solving the problems brains failed to solve, should we expect more theatrics and punches from those unregistered boxers? This reprehensible take reminds me of other waishiwa from Zenj who pioneered this art when they wanted to teach hon. Ali Kesi a lesson after urging them to stop grouching and think wisely and manly.

Now that the news is all over the place that Werema wanted to pounce on Kafulia, we’re waiting to hear what Madame Microphone d/o speaker will say at least to defend Werema who’s supposed to be shown the door had our hunk had ethics. Again, I can’t get it really. How does a lawyer act as a layman in the first place? How come a lawyer embarks on street justice before honourable parliament and gets away with it? Is it because the house is full of pugilists or noise makers who like to cheer nonsense?

Importantly, the hoi polloi needs to fear no fists. They’d demand explanations as to why Escrow dosh was illegally and stupidly offered to a karasinga from Nyayo hunk who’s also was involved in a scandal of a century known as Goldenberg. Guys, you must fear nothing but fear itself.  Seek explanations as to why your emissaries are humiliated when they fulfill their duty of defending your rights. Who’s Werema representing in this crazy biz of robbing the paupers of this hunk?

Going back to where we commenced, even if we’re intending to form WBC, we also need to form anti WBC body that’ll tame and punish honourable pugs in mjengoni. If we don’t, our dosh'll be swindled as we cascade down into abject poverty pointlessly.

As for Werema, Mura, take it easy. Instead of showing us how skillful you‘re in landing punches, please, show us how reasonable you’re especially as a lawyer, a judge and a govt’s chief counsel.
NB: To know how our institutions are in wrong hands as they're manned by goons, please CLICK HERE to read madam Speaker, Anna Makinda's 'solution' to this problem.

Source: Guardian June 28, 2014.

Tunataka uongozi kwa Kinana si uongo – 2

 
KATIKA makala ya “Tunataka uongozi kwa Kinana si uongo”, niliahidi kumdurusu zaidi Katibu Mkuu wa Chama Cha Mapinduzi (CCM) Abdulrahaman Kinana, hasa kutokana na matamshi yake yaliyozua utata na kukanganya.
Leo najaribu kumuonyesha kama mpinzani ndani ya CCM aliyemo ndani.
Matamshi mengi ya Kinana, licha ya kutokisaidia chama chake wala yeye, yanaonyesha wazi jinsi anavyofanya kazi ya upinzani ima kwa kujua au kwa kutojua.
Wanaojua mikakati haramu ya siku hizi ya kuusaka urais nchini, wanasema kuwa Kinana anajua anachosema. Wapo wanaokwenda mbali na kumuona kama mtu anayetumikia mabwana wawili kwa makusudi ili litakapoangukia naye awemo. Kwa wajuzi wa mambo wanaojua dhamira fichi ya Kinana hawashangai zaidi ya kushuku kama atafanikiwa.
Wanachoweza kufanya ni kutahadharisha wananchi kuwa waangalifu kwa aina hii ya viongozi wenye sura na ndimi nyingi.
Kinana alikaririwa akizungumza na wananchi wa Kijiji cha Ayamango, Kata ya Mamire wilayani Babati, mkoani Manyara, akisema; “Lipo tatizo kubwa la serikali kuchukua muda mrefu sana kushughulikia matatizo ya wananchi, jambo hili linasemwa miaka yote, kila siku wananchi wanalalamika, viongozi wapo, watendaji wapo, serikali ipo, lakini hatua hazichukuliwi, naahidi kulifikisha suala hili kwa rais ili tuone tutalitatua vipi.”
Maneno ya Kinana ni ukweli mtupu. Kweli lipo tatizo la serikali, si kuchukua muda mrefu kutatua matatizo ya wananchi, bali kuwa sehemu ya tatizo.
Wananchi wanalalamika, lakini serikali yao haina masikio wala nia ya kuwasikiliza. Kwa kuliona hili, tunampongeza Kinana ingawa ukiangalia sababu na udhati wa kulisema, hastahili pongezi.
Kuonyesha Kinana anavyofanya kazi ya upinzani na hapo hapo ukada wa CCM, hebu angalia maneno yake aliyotamka akiwa Ayamango. Alikaririwa akisema; “Naahidi kulifikisha suala hili kwa rais tuone tutalitatua vipi.” Ya kweli haya?
Haiwezekani serikali hiyo hiyo anayosema Kinana inachukua muda mrefu kutatua matatizo ya wananchi, ipelekewe matatizo yale yale ambayo imeshindwa kuyatatua kwa muda mrefu kama anavyokiri Kinana.
Je, hapa Kinana amesahau au anataka kuwadanganya wananchi? Inashangaza sana kuona Kinana akitaka kumpelekea rais matatizo ambayo serikali yake imeshindwa kuyatatua kwa muda mrefu. Huku ni kujichanganya hata kuchanganyikiwa.
Anachotaka kufanya Kinana ni sawa na kumpelekea mbwa mfupa ule ule uliomshinda hadi ukamng’oa meno. Tumsaidie Kinana, Kikwete hana historia wala tabia ya kusikiliza wala kutatua matatizo ya watu.
Rejea alivyopelekewa majina ya wauza unga, majambazi na majangili lakini asiwakamate kama alivyokiri mara nyingi kuwa ana majina yao.
Je, Kinana atatenda miujiza gani kumbadilisha mtu wa namna hii? Tunaweza kusema kuwa Kinana amejitahidi kupiga siasa ili aonekane ana uchungu na wananchi, hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa uchaguzi wa rais umekaribia na kila mwenye kuutaka utajiri wa haraka na kulinda maslahi yake anaweza kuuotea hata kama hana sifa, ajenda wala hafai.
Inashangaza kwa Kinana kukiri na kutambua kuwa serikali haitatui matatizo ya wananchi wakati ina kila kitu kuanzia viongozi, watendaji na nyenzo zote halafu ukaipelekea serikali hiyo hiyo matatizo hayo hayo ambayo imeshindwa kuyatatua kwa miaka mingi kama unavyokiri ukaeleweka au kuleta maana zaidi ya kujichanganya hata kuwachanganya wale unaowaambia.
Kufanya hivyo, licha ya kujichanganya ni kudanganya wazi wazi. Huku ni kujipinga ambako ni ushahidi kuwa ima msemaji hajui anachosema au anajua, lakini anaamua kudanganya kwa kuwafanya anaowaambia kama hawana akili sawa sawa.
Maana haiwezekani shetani na malaika wakafanya kazi moja. Serikali imeshindwa kutatua matatizo ya wananchi. Je, dawa yake ni kuipelekea hayo matatizo au kuitimua ili wenye uwezo wa kuyatatua wachukue nafasi yake na kufaya hivyo?
Kinana anajua jibu hata kama anajifanya halioni.  Ni mwehu pekee anayeweza kupeleka mtoto kwa mchawi aliyemuua ili amfufue wakati aliishamuua. Je, kuna haja ya kufanya hivyo ili kuendelea kuthibitisha ujuha na wehu wa mhusika au kuchukua hatua mujarabu zenye kuingia akilini na kuwezekana?
Kwa ushauri wa Kinana, kimsingi, ni kwamba anawahimiza wananchi waendelee kutendewa ndivyo sivyo. Anachofanya Kinana ni kutaka “kuwaweka sawa” wananchi ili awatwishe mkenge mwingine kama ambavyo yeye na chama chake wamekuwa wakifanya.
Kuonyesha uhalisia wa utapatapaji wa Kinana na jinsi anavyotumikia mabwana wawili, alikaririwa akisema; “Hii serikali ni ya wananchi, ni lazima iwatumikie wananchi.”
Je, kama kweli serikali ni ya wananchi, kwanini imeshindwa kutatua matatizo yao ilhali ina nyenzo zote kama alivyobainisha Kinana? Jibu la swali hili analo Kinana mwenyewe aliyekaririwa kwenye mkutano huo huo akijipiga mtama kwa kusema; “Nimepita mahali nikaambiwa kuna mgogoro wa ardhi zaidi ya miaka 20 sasa, na mara ya kwanza walikuja mawaziri wanne.”
Hii maana yake ni kwamba wananchi wamemwonyesha wazi wazi Kinana jinsi serikali anayoongelea isivyo ya watu wala yenye uwezo wa kutatua matatizo yao kama anavyokiri kwenye nukuu hii sema hataki kukubali ukweli.
Je, serikali anayoongelea Kinana ni ya wananchi au ya kundi fulani la watu lisilojali hao wananchi kiasi cha kupuuza matatizo yao kwa miaka mingi tu?
Kama kweli hii serikali ni ya wananchi kwa vitendo na si kwa maneno ya majukwaani, kwanini Kinana hataki kujipa kazi kidogo ya kufikiri akajiuliza ilikuwaje ichukue miaka zaidi ya 20 bila kutatua tatizo la wananchi anaowahadaa kuwa ni yao?
Je, hawa wahusika wangekuwa ni kina Kinana wanaowahadaa wananchi, serikali ingewapuuza kwa miaka zaidi ya 20?
Tumalizie kwa nukuu ya Kinana inayosema; “Wakafika wengine nane (mawaziri) na hivi karibuni walikuja 11, lakini hakuna walichokifanya, sasa wanang’ang’ania uongozi wa nini kama hawawezi kutatua kero za wananchi?” Ajabu ya maajabu, Kinana anataka kumpelekea rais aliyewateua na kuwalinda mawaziri hao hao ili atatue matatizo yao yaliyoishinda serikali yake! Ya kweli haya shehe? Tunataka uongozi kwa Kinana si uongo.
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Juni 25, 2014.

General Elections: Will Goodluck Go the Banda Way?

Looking at how the turn of events unfolded recently in Malawi, one can comfortably say that another presidential casualty is in the making in Africa. This time though, it is not in South Africa but West Africa where President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan’s presidency is going to face its toughest test. Being the economic power house of Africa, whatever happens in Nigeria carries African hallmark.

Africa recently lost one of a few female presidents. Joyce Banda was the second African female president after Liberian one Ellen Johnson Sirleaf.  Banda arose to power after the president to whom she was a vice president, Bingu wa Mutharika died in office just like Nigerian Goodluck Jonathan who ascended to power after the death of President Umar Mussa Yar’Adua. Banda was recently beaten by Mutharika’s sibling Peter Arthur Mutharika the current president of Malawi.

Helped by good luck just like his name, Jonathan presidency’s always marked with controversy from the sacking of the governor of the bank of Nigeria after unveiling massive corruption to the hijacking of secondary school girls from Chibok not to mention oft-Boko Haram attacks on innocent Nigerians.  This heinous act, if anything, seems to be the straw that will surely break the camel’s back. For, the abducting of Chibok girls exposed Jonathan more than anything in his tenure as president. And truly, during this carnage, Jonathan did not display any notable leadership.  So this is likely to play in the hands of his political enemies in the campaigns. While Banda was defeated by another Mutharika, it is not clear as to who will unseat Jonathan. What is clear is that Jonathan won’t return to office shall thing remain as they are currently.

Under Jonathan, Nigeria evidenced doom and gloom sort of atmosphere just like Malawi evinced the surge of corruption prominent one being cashgate that saw Joyce Banda bundled out of power through a ballot box.

If anything, nothing creates fear in African rules just like elections especially when it free and fair. This is where Banda’s political demise was marked. Now that next year is an electioneering year in Nigeria, those who bother to look at the pros and cons of things are ready speculating that Jonathan surely or possibly will reap what Banda did. They don’t just say so. They surely have strong and convincing reasons.

Under Jonathan Nigeria succeeded to do one thing, to unseat South African economically. Again, looking at the flip side, Jonathan’s fate-cum-plight looks grim. He’s this corruption scandal involving billion  of dollar as it was unearthed by the emir of Kano His Highness Lamido Sanussi former Governor of Nigerian Central Bank whom he sacked as he accused him of “ financial recklessness and misconduct” for leaking the news.  The sacking of Sanussi caused a big dent on Jonathan’s administration as far as the whole issue of fighting corruption is concerned. Jonathan’s admin’s nary furnished Nigerians even the world with convincing explanations of what actually took place. Though Sanussi’s revelation is not cashgate, it looks exactly like it and its repercussions are likely to be the same as far as race for presidency is concerned.  So, corruption, just as it was for Banda, is suspected to be one of the reasons that will see the exit of Jonathan.

Apart from corruption, insecurity seems to loom over Nigeria.  The hijacking of over two hundreds girls from Chibok, if anything, will go down with Jonathan who failed to stand and guide the nation through this heart-breaking period. To make matter worse Jonathan’s wife Patience came in with all pretentious hallmarks. She tried to no avail to invoke all charms. “Oh Chai there is God ooh!” oh child there is God. This is the famous mark she’ll leave behind come next general elections. If Jonathan isn't changing the course of things today chances of being elected are slim. We evidenced it in Zambia where Rupiah Banda who took over after the death of Levy Mwanawasa was whitewashed just like his namesake in Malawi recently.

Goodluck can’t depend on good luck but his performance. Will he rejoice or end up becoming a half term president?

Suffices it to say, Jonathan, just like Banda, is likely to reap what he sowed come next general elections. Again, there is a very big lesson in the political lives of these two presidents who came to power accidentally after the deaths of their bosses. One’s Joyce who didn’t rejoice and another is Goodluck whose luck’s not that good especially at this time around when Africa’s proved how she hates impunity and venality. Will Nigeria’s Jonathan become another Malawi’s Banda?

Source: African Executive Magazine June 25, 2014.

UDA: Ni Maziku na si Mwanakijiji inayepotosha umma

Tunaandika makala hii kujaribu kutoa ufafanuzi, kama si majibu, kwa makala ya ndugu George Maziku ya tarehe 18 Juni 2014 kwenye gazeti la Tanzania Daima la Jumatano akijibu makala ya Mwanakijiji ya tarehe 11 Juni 2004 katika gazeti lile lile. Kutokana na ufinyu wa nafasi, tutadurusu na kuonyesha udhaifu wa makala ya Maziku japo kwa ufupi ili kutoa nafasi na kwa wengine watakaotaka kufanya hivyo wafanye hivyo.

Japo Maziku anadai alifanya utafiti bila kuunyesha, alitoa tuhuma za jumla na reja reja bila hata chembe ya ushahidi unaoingia kichwani dhidi ya, kwanza, watanzania wote, pili, wabunge wa Dar Es Salaam wote na tatu, Mwanakijiji. Kutokana na makala husika kuwa nyepesi na yenye kujaa mapofu, dhambi ambayo mwandishi aliwatuhumu wenzake, akairudia, hatutajibu neno kwa neno (verbatim) zaidi ya kuonyesha baadhi ya mapungufu na si yote. Maana, kama ni kuijibu makala nzima ipasavyo, unaweza kuandika hata kitabu. Tutatumia lugha nyepesi ili wahusika wajue wanachofanya siyo na hawajafanikiwa.

Kwanza, hoja za Mwanakijiji bado zina mashiko kwa watu wenye utashi na utambuzi wa mambo katika uhalisia wake. UDA imeuzwa kifisadi na haina tija kwa wakazi wa Dar. Hili liko wazi tu. Ushahidi?  Mosi, rejea maneno ya mwenyekiti wa Kamati ya Mashirika ya Umma (POAC) Zitto Kabwe, aliyekaririwa akisema, “Kama kuna watu ambao wameuziwa chochote wameingia choo cha kike (maana ni batili maana hawana kibali cha CHC).” Hili halihitaji ufafanuzi. Liko wazi.

Pili, rejea ripoti ya Mkaguzi na Mdhibiti mkuu wa fedha za serikali (CAG) iliyotolewa hivi karibuni inasomeka, “Bodi ya wakurugenzi wa UDA iliendelea na uuzaji wa hisa bila kupata kibali cha Serikali na hata CHC.” Tatu, rejea tamko la Mei14, 2014 la waziri mdogo wa Fedha na Uchumi, Adam Malima, aliyeliambia bunge kuwa UDA haijauzwa. Je hawa wote wanatetea mkate wao na maslahi binafsi? Kama ni hivyo, tungemwomba Maziku na yeyote m wenye ushahidi atoe.

Pia Maziku, bila mafanikio amejitahidi kutetea kampuni ya Simon Group na wazawa.Bila hata tahadhari, Maziku alianza kwa tuhuma dhidi ya watanzania akisema, “Watanzania ni watu ajabu sana. Mara nyingi wanaweza kutumia nguvu nyingi na muda mwingi kupigania jambo ambalo hata hawana faida nalo.” Hii si kweli. Watanzania sawa na watu wengine popote pale duniani ni watu wa kawaida wenye akili na si mapenzi kibubusa wala kutetea upuuzi hata kama wapo baadhi wanaotetea upuuzi. Madai kama haya ni mazito. Ni vigumu kuyathibitisha kisomi. Laiti Maziku angeonyesha “uajabu” wa watanzania tena wote, angeeleweka na hata kuheshimika ukiachia mbali hoja yake kuleta tija na kuwa na mashiko. Pamoja na Maziku kutoa tuhuma za ajabu bado hawezi kuitwa mtu wa ajabu zaidi ya mtu asiyejua anachotetea tokana na kushindwa kuleta ushahidi wenye ithibati na ushawishi kiakili. Sana sana alichobainisha Maziku kwenye mwanzo wa makala yake ni kuonyesha hisia za ukabila na unasaba pale na hata kutumiwa anaposema, “wanufaika ni watu wengine ambao hata hawana nasaba nao.” Kwa mantiki ya haraka ni kwamba Maziku anajifichua kuwa ana nasaba na Simon Group. Hii haikubaliki. Huwezi kumtetea mtu kwa sababu ni Msukuma au Mtumbuka mwenzako. Huu ni unepi na ufisadi wa kiakili.

Ukiachia mbali na watanzania wote aliowazushia uajabu na hata ulimbukeni wa kutetea wasicho nacho faida, Maziku amewatuhumu wabunge wa Dar akisema kuwa wanatetea maslahi binafsi na si taifa bila kutoa ushahidi pale alipoandika, “Bali wanafanya (baadhi ya watu na wabunge wa Dar) hivyo kwa kusukumwa na maslahi binafsi, wanatetea mkate wao.” Dai hili ni tata. Huwezi kusema mtu anatetea maslahi binafsi au mkate wake bila kutaja hayo maslahi ili wasomaji wayajue na kupitisha hukumu yao kama watu wenye akili na maarifa.

Kimsingi, hoja anayotaka kujenga Maziku ni kwamba wanaopinga ufisadi katika uuzaji wa UDA wanatetea maslahi binafsi na ni watumwa wanaotumiwa na wenye kutaka kunyakua UDA. Je yeye anatetea maslahi ya nani kama si binafsi baada ya kutumiwa?  Huu unaweza kutumika kama ushahidi kimazingira (circumstantial evidence) wa kujifunga (incupatory evidence) dhidi ya Maziku kuwa anatumiwa na Simon Group.

Katika kutaka ku-justify hoja yake nyepesi, Maziku anaweka mbele uzawa bila kujali haki na kanuni. Je kila mzawa ni wa kuungwa mkono hata kama anafanya madudu?  Kwanini Maziku hahoji madai kuwa Idd Simba, meya wa Dar Es Salaam, Didace Massaburi na Victor Milanzi, aliyekuwa mkurugenzi mkuu wa UDA waligawa shirika la umma kwa faida binafsi?Sijui kama kweli Maziku anajua jinsi UDA ilivyouzwa kifisadi chini ya ushawishi wa Simba ambaye anadaiwa kuhongwa shilingi  milioni 400? Je Maziku huwa hasomi magazeti au anafanya makusudi? Mbona wizi na ufisadi uliozunguka uuzaji wa UDA unajulikana hata kwa wasioishi Tanzania?

Tunachoweza kusema ni kwamba Simon Group inaendelea kupigiwa kifua na baadhi ya vigogo wa CCM kama alivyodai mbunge wa Ubungo John Mnyika bila wahusika kukanusha au kutoa utetezi. Mnyika alikaririwa akiliambia bunge ifuatavyo, “Ni kwa nini watuhumiwa wameachiwa? Mheshimiwa Spika, haya yasipojibiwa tutaamini kuwa jambo hili linawahusu vigogo wa CCM na mnawalinda katika ufisadi huu.” Mnyika alikuwa akishangaa ni kwanini serikali hasa DPP haikuchukua hatua ilhali ripoti ya CAG ilibaini ufisadi. Si serikali, CCM wala DPP aliyejitokeza kujibu hoja ya Mnyika. Hii maana yake ni kwamba wahusika wanakiri ukweli wa madai husika.

Kwa vile nafasi haitoshi, tunaishia hapa tukimshauri Maziku ajitahidi kufanya lau utafiti kidogo anapojibu hoja nzito kama ya Mwanakijiji. UDA imeuzwa kifisadi atake asitake. Anayepinga hili aje na ushahidi wenye mashiko badala ya jazba na kuzulia watu katika kutetea uoza. Huwezi ukatetea uoza eti kwa vile anayeufanya ni mzawa. Mwandishi makini ni yule anayetetea haki ya wasio na haki na kuwa sauti ya wasio na sauti (Voice of the voiceless). Kinyume na hili huku nako ni kutumika kwa aina fulani ambako hakufai kuwa sifa ya mwandishi au mchambuzi. Mwenyekiti Mao Tse-Tung wa China alizoea kusema, No investigation (research), no right to talk. Kama huna ushahidi tafitishi huna haki ya kusema.

Chanzo: Dira Juni 2014.

Kijiwe chalaani kaya kugeuzwa Matonya

BAADA ya kugundua ukweli mchungu kuwa libajeti la kaya ni mazabe matupu kutokana na kucharara, licha ya kukaa kama kamati ya kunusuru na kurejesha heshima ya kaya, kijiwe kinalaani kwa nguvu zote hali hii ya kujitakia tokana na ombwe la watu makini kuongoza. Baada ya uongozi kugeuka uongo, kijiwe kilijua hali hii itatokea.

Mpemba anaingia akiwa na gazeti la TZ Daimu na kusema; “Tulisema kuteuliwa Sada Mkuyati kuna namna hasa wizi wa njuluku wallahi.”

Mgosi Machungi anadakia; “Yakhe bado umemng’ang’ania Sada Mkuyati siyo? Hata angeteuliwa Maaika, kwa vie genge la ujambazi ni lile lile, njuuku zingeibiwa hasa ikizingatiwa mwakani tina uchakachuaji. Lazima wezi washinde kwa kununua, kuhonga, kuchakachua hata kuvuuga. Hujui!”

Msomi Mkatatamaa anadakia; “This is too much. It is even more than too much. It is perilous, lugubrious, cantakerous and rubiginous. Loh! Nimechanganya kikameruni tokana na hasira.” Anaomba msamaha na kuendelea; “Kila mwaka upuuzi ule ule. Hakuna kinachonikera kama kugundua kuwa kaya imefilisika wakati viongozi mufilisi walioifilisi wakiendelea kutajirika wakitanua na kukufuru. Kama hakuna njuluku, wanayotanulia kwenye ziara, matamasha, posho za makalio na hata sherehe zisizo na kichwa wala mguu zinatoka wapi?”

“Msomi usitoneshe donda. Nikikumubuka ufujaji kwenye sherehe za muunganiko wa vitisho vya geshi sina hamu. Tatizo si kufilisika kifedha bali kimawazo. Tatizo ni vipaumbele. Hamuijui Danganyika nini? Si waende pale WaMA na EOtF wakakope kama wamefilisika?” Mijjinga anaamua kukandia.

Mheshimiwa Bwege anakatua mic; “Nyie hamjui. Hawa jamaa hawajawahi kuwa na shida ya njuluku bali wehu na matumizi mabaya ndivyo vinavyowasumbua. Hivi kaya yenye madini mbuga za hayawani, ardhi, mito, milimia, mabonde, wachovu, maji, jua, ndege na kila kitu inaweza kuwa kapuku hivi au ni kujitakia kutokana na uvivu wa kufikiri ulioanzishwa na Tunituni Ben Makapu aliyeuza kaya kwa zawadi ya pipi, suti na upuuzi mwingine? Hata vijikaya vidogo vinatucheka na kutuchezea tokana na utaahira wa wakuu wetu! Mwalimu, uko wapi?” Anaangua kilio.

“Mheshimiwa Bwege leo umeongea sina hamu. Kumbe ubwege wako si wa jina bali utani ambao unaweza kumaanisha kinyume!”  Mipawa anadakia.

“Mie Mswahili ati.  Sisi hufunga nyama au kufumba asiyekuwa Mswahili asielewe. Twaweza kukukuteta usijue tumekuteta. Naweza kusema kitu ukaishia kukielewa kinyume sawa na jina langu. Kama mabwege basi mwawajua tena sana, hasa wale wanaopewa dhamana wakaichezea na wale wanaowapa dhamana waichezee ila si mie mwanakwetu.” Bwege anajitetea huku akitabasamu kwa kusifiwa.

Sofi Lion Kaungaembe anakatua mic; “Bwege huna haja ya kutukana watu kwa vitu vya kichochezi. Mmeambiwa sirikali haina njuluku mwang’ang’ania ipo ipo wapi?”

Kapende hangoji wengine waseme. Anakwanyua mic; “Njuluku ipo na ipo Banki Kuu ndiyo maana akina Mkuyati, We-remaa, Maswie, Ndururu, Mwongo na wengine wameweza kukwapua bilioni 200 bila kufikishwa kwa pilato kwa sababu kuna njuluku kibao za kuchota kule au vipi. Najua hawawezi kufikishana kwa pilato kwa vile wamekatiana.”

“Ati wamefanya nini?” Anauliza Mchunguliaji. Kapende anajibu; “Wamekatiana baina ya wezi na wale waliowatuma kufanya wizi huo kwani siri? Hata Takokuru inajua ila kwa vile wote lao moja hakuna wa kumshughulikia mwenzake.”

Mijjinga anakatua mic; “Usemayo kweli Dokta Kapende. Kusingekuwapo njuluku Matonya wetu mkuu na bi mkubwa wake na waramba viatu wao wasingekesha kwenye madege wakizurura na kutanua ughaibuni. Nashangaa mwaka huu hajaenda Brazil kuangalia kipute cha world cup. Angalia hata suti anazovalia ukiachia mbali siku nyingi anazolala kwenye mahoteli ya nyota tano majuu. Nadhani tatizo hapa ni kukosekana mtu mwenye akili timamu na uzalendo kuongoza kaya. Period.”

Mzee Maneno aliyekuwa kimya muda mrefu anakatua mic; “Huyu jamaa mwisho. Kombe la Dunia halijaisha. Anaweza kutafuta kisingizio akaenda kule kujinoma kama kawaida yake.”

Mpemba kama kawa anarejea; “Njuluku wanayo Wallahi tena kwa sana. Angalia mishangingi na mishumbwengu ya kijep wanioendesha huku wakihonga mishangingi ya kayani malaki kama tulivoona Jonii Kombo akila mavituz ya kijibinti tena kidogo kuliko bintiye. Hawa jamaa wachafu kweli kweli!”

Msomi anadakia; “Nadhani wameathiriwa na mchezo wa kuomba. Kama hakuna njuluku mbona wanasamehe kodi wachukuaji ambao kila mwaka wanaondoka na mabilioni ya dola? Hawa ni wapuuzi wa kawaida ambao ujuha wao ni sawa na yule kenge juha ambaye alinyewa mvua akaamua kukimbilia mtoni asijue yapo maji mengi. Kimsingi, wanachoomba si chochote wala lolote bali mabaki ya njuluku wanazoachia. Mwalimu aliwahi kusema kuwa uchumi wanao ila wanaukalia. Huwezi kutapanya njuluku kwenye upuuzi halafu ukaanza kulalama na kuomba kama hamnazo. Lazima uwe hamnazo.”

Mipawa anadakia; “Msomi hujakosea. Umesahau. Kama hakuna njuluku mbona baadhi ya vigogo wanahamishwa na kukaa hotelini huku wilaya na mikoa mipya ikifinyangwa kukidhi matakwa binafsi ya marafiki zao? Nasikia jamaa wanatumia kisingizio cha kubomu kujilipa njuluku na kwenda ughaibuni kuweka njuluku Uswizi na kukagua akaunti zao.”

Kanji ambaye alikuwa kimya muda mrefu anaamua kula mic; “Kama kuu hapana kaa hoteli biashara ya hoteli taumia. Veve hoji sana juliku ya siri kali kwani ya veve?”

Msomi anakwea mic kwa hasira wazi wazi; “Siku zote nilidhani Kanji umesoma kumbe bomu tu! Hujui kuwa bila mimi kulipa kodi hiyo siri kali inayowapa kiburi haina lolote? Hujui kuwa malalamiko ya Sada Mkuyati kuwa hakuna njuluku yanalenga kupata kisingizio cha kupandisha kodi ambayo itafanya kila kitu kipande na maisha kuwa kichwa chini miguu juu japo yamekuwa hivyo kwa zaidi ya miaka thelathini? If you can’t get such simple issues there is no difference between you and the govt and its head and tails.”

Kijiwe kikiwa ndiyo kinanoga si likatokea shankupe la kijep na shangiki Mkuyati. Acha tulitoe baruti! Tungemnyaka, tungemfanyie kitu mbaya.

Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Juni 25, 2014.

Democrlasisi, US vs Journalism

The conviction of three Al Jazeera journalists by a court in Egypt has proved how wrong we we're when the army overthrew the government. Three journalists Peter Greste,Mohamed Fahmy and Baher Mohamed were convicted without the prosecution producing a shred of evidence. Politically motivated as the case was, it send Egypt back to turmoil pointlessly.It is scandalous and dangerous that the champion od democracy in the world, the US has conspired in this injustice and threat against the media all over the world.
Under the pretext of purging Islamic fundamentalism, the US conspired with Egyptian Army to see to it that the democratically elected Mohamed Morsi was brought down. Many still wonder at the way the US has been pulling strings behind the curtains. 
A day before a seven year sentence was handed down to these journalists, the US released  over a half  billion dollars aimed at helping the army. Such move made things worse as far as president Obama is concerned vis a vis democracy. Obama admin seems to be at home with what is now known as Democrlasisi in Egypt whereby a former general who overthrew Morsi is now a democratically elected president! Although the US with its cronies might assure themselves that they have fixed the problem in Egypt chances are that much is to come just soon. How do you convict journalists, politicians and activists just because they tell a story you don't want to hear and assume that things are normal?
Hypocrisy and double standard as displayed by the states in Egypt won't help any part in the conflict. Essentially what is going on is nothing but democrlasisi which in turn will ruin Egypt a great deal more.
We condemn this purge against democracy and freedoms of expression in Egypt in the strongest possible terms. Journalism is not a crime. Obama and al Sisi are behind our plight and tortures.

Did you know govt spies on you?

         No news is good news save that every bad news is news.  I nearly freaked out when I heard that our govt snoops on its law-abiding boozers.Those who know what snooping is will be troubled to learn that boozers in the hunk have always been nosed around without their cognizance. According the bombshell Vodafone released recently by naming all snooping countries, our hunk’s one of them. There are 29 countries whose govts snoop on phone subscribers. They simply use phone companies we trust and give our dosh to while they actually vend our privacy.

          Let me define snooping or peeping next to pimping that an online dictionary defines as: Prowling or prying, go about in a sneaking, prying way, also defined as an act or instance of snooping or a person who snoops or a private detective. In a simple parlance, snooping’s just spying on you or kupiga chabo in your cranium hence in your whole life. To do away from such abuse, you just Snowden the said guys by spilling the beans so that preys can avoid their nets. Vodafone’s quoted in its report as saying, “In every country in which we operate, we have to abide by the laws of those countries which require us to disclose information about our customers to law enforcement agencies or other government authorities.” This means. Your govt’s involved in illegal activities as opposed to the constitution to get away with our conversations and secrets. Should we kick the govt out or spy back as our quid pro quo to this madness committed under the pretext of security? Whose security if at all we’re wronged?

Again, this crime’s some good tidings. For instance, spouses who think their partners cheat on them’ should talk to phone companies and get the whole big picture behind the curtains their lovers are involved. Warning, don’t start another Kosovo at home.

          Vodafone reports implicated eight African hunks namely DRC, Egypt, Ghana, Kenya, Lesotho, Mozambique, South Africa and Tanzania among 29 countries busted for their heinous crime against freedom. Although Vodafone didn’t go into niceties as to why such countries are snooping on their citizens. Those living in those countries should be made aware that their conversations with their loved ones, lovers, confidantes and whatnot are an open secret before the govts that listen to everything they mimic or talk about.  I’m trying  to imagine how embarrassing it is for my mama Kidume and I to find that all of our talks about many things especially those pertaining with bedroom are  monitored and stored in govt’s  hardware.

Against all odds, I didn't know that even those offers I make to certain Kanungaembe at our swallowing joint are known. I didn't know that all those romantic and lovely worded SMs I once sent to various chicks are somewhere stored for somebody to use whenever he or she thinks that it is time to fix me. If this is the real situation, those wakware sending dosh to prostitutes, students all sorts of chicks must brace themselves for troubles. Jokes aside, journo are going to be hit hard in this game of deceit and betrayal. If you’re one, you need to make sure that you use these gadgets minimally. Otherwise, we need to tell the power that be to get down off its high horse and stop spying on us.

          Now I know why Jake Kiquette said confidently that primary school girls impregnated is just because of their kiherehe. He knew something his spy masters told him about the behaviour of these pupils. It is easy to know what pupils, students even their parents do and love. You just go the phone company and get their information and analyze then make a conclusion. I wish communication between waishiwa, high-ranking- public officials and bwana Kiquette himself would be revealed to see how many chicks and wives have hit on.

So too, I wish the communication between and among fisadis would be made public so that we can see how they make a killing. I wish investors’ communication with their home countries and our local traitors would be made possible so that we can know how they vend us. This way, by and large, boozers would be able to know how EPA, ESCROW, Kagodam, Richmonduli, Dowans, IpTL and other profligacy were conceived and executed in the first place.

I’d wish that the coming govt use the same info to probe what the outgoing govt did in making the hunk corruption friendly. I’d like to hear how, for instance, president was begging, or his sons and daughters use his office to make a killing without forgetting WaMA and the way it was courting donors using White House’s emblem.

          All can be said and done. I can’t understand why authorities are gambling with our rights and privacy in the first place. You don’t need to be a savant to know that what’s going on under the pretext of our security is our own insecurity. Why'd they spy on us for us to be safe? Who’s spying on them? Let them tell us the truth about this spying but not issuing mumbo-jumbo to boob and cool us down. Did you know the govt’s been and still’s spying on you? If you didn't know this disaster hanging over you, you now know.

          No news is good news save that every bad news is news.  I nearly freaked out when I heard that our govt snoops on its law-abiding boozers.Those who know what snooping is will be troubled to learn that boozers in the hunk have always been nosing around without their cognizance. According the bombshell Vodafone released recently by naming all snooping countries, our hunk’s one of them. There are 29 countries whose govts snoop on phone subscribers. They simply use phone companies we trust and give our dosh to while they actually vend our privacy.

          Let me define snooping or peeping next to pimping that an online dictionary defines as: Prowling or prying, go about in a sneaking, prying way, also defined as an act or instance of snooping or a person who snoops or a private detective. In a simple parlance, snooping’s just spying on you or kupiga chabo in your cranium hence in your whole life. To do away from such abuse, you just Snowden the said guys by spilling the beans so that preys can avoid their nets. Vodafone’s quoted in its report as saying, “In every country in which we operate, we have to abide by the laws of those countries which require us to disclose information about our customers to law enforcement agencies or other government authorities.” This means. Your govt’s involved in illegal activities as opposed to the constitution to get away with our conversations and secrets. Should we kick the govt out or spy back as our quid pro quo to this madness committed under the pretext of security? Whose security if at all we’re wronged?

Again, this crime’s some good tidings. For instance, spouses who think their partners cheat on them’ should talk to phone companies and get the whole big picture behind the curtains their lovers are involved. Warning, don’t start another Kosovo at home.

          Vodafone reports implicated eight African hunks namely DRC, Egypt, Ghana, Kenya, Lesotho, Mozambique, South Africa and Tanzania among 29 countries busted for their heinous crime against freedom. Although Vodafone didn’t go into niceties as to why such countries are snooping on their citizens. Those living in those countries should be made aware that their conversations with their loved ones, lovers, confidantes and whatnot are an open secret before the govts that listen to everything they mimic or talk about.  I’m trying  to imagine how embarrassing it is for my mama Kidume and I to find that all of our talks about many things especially those pertaining with bed the bedroom are  monitored and stored in govt’s  hardware.

Against all odds, I didn’t know that even those offers I make to certain Kanungaembe at our swallowing joint are known. I didn't know that all those lovely worded SMs I once sent to various chicks are somewhere stored for somebody to use whenever he or she thinks that it is time to fix me. If this is the real situation, those wakware sending dosh to prostitutes, students all sorts of chicks must brace themselves for troubles. Jokes aside, journo are going to be hit hard in this game of deceit and betrayal. If you’re one, you need to make sure that you use these gadgets minimally. Otherwise, we need to tell the power that be to get down off its high horse and stop spying on us.

          Now I know why Jake Kiquette said confidently that primary school girls impregnated is just because of their kiherehe. He knew something his spy masters told him about the behaviour of these pupils. It is easy to know what pupils, students even their parents do and love. You just go the phone company and get their information and analyze then make a conclusion. I wish communication between waishiwa, high-ranking- public officials and bwana Kiquette himself would be revealed to see how many chicks and wives have hit on.

So too, I wish the communication between and among fisadis would be made public so that we can see how they make a killing. I wish investors’ communication with their home countries and our local traitors would be made possible so that we can know how they vend us. This way, by and large, boozers would be able to know how EPA, ESCROW, Kagodam, Richmonduli, Dowans, IpTL and other profligacy were conceived and executed in the first place.

I’d wish that the coming govt use the same info to probe what the outgoing govt did in making the hunk corruption friendly. I’d like to hear how, for instance, president was begging, or his sons and daughters use his office to make a killing without forgetting WaMA and the way it was courting donors using White House’s emblem.

          All can be said and done. I can’t understand why authorities are gambling with our rights and privacy in the first place. You don’t need to be a savant to know that what’s going on under the pretext of our security is our own insecurity. Why'd they spy on us for us to be safe? Who’s spying on them? Let them tell us the truth about this spying but not issuing mumbo-jumbo to boob and cool us down. Did you know the govt’s been and still’s spying on you? If you didn't know this disaster hanging over you, you now know.

Source: ThisDay June 23, 2014.

Mlevi kuanzisha Waishiwa Boxing Club (WBC)

Baada ya wiki iliyopita kushangaa jinsi walevi wanavyoweza kuibiwa huku dingi akiwa kinara wa kubomu, wiki hii tunaangalia namna ya kuwakwamua wahishimiwa toka kwenye wingu zito lililozunguka utendaji wao na tabia zao.
Mlevi ameamua kuingilia kati ili kuokoa hadhi ya wahishimiwa ambao kwa sasa wanaonekana zaidi waishiwa na si wahishimiwa japo si wote. Kwa upendo mkubwa na taadhima, Mlevi amekuja na mbinu mpya ya kurejesha heshima ya waishiwa wahishimiwa.
Baaada ya kugundua kuwa kumbe waishiwa wa mjengoni wanajua kuyachapa makonde, mlevi anapanga kuanzisha kampuni ‘special’ kwa ajili ya kupromoti masumbwi Waishiwa Boxing Club (WBC). Kampuni hii itaepusha wahishiwa kupata hasara kwa kuzichapa bila kiingilio.
Yaani nakuwa promota. Tofauti ni kwamba sitapromoti wachovu au ngurumbili wa kawaida, bali waishiwa wahishimiwa.
Hivi utajisikiaje kuona mbunge wako akimgaragaza mtu kwa mangumi kuthibitisha mlivyo ‘tough?’ Kwa wale ambao wabunge wao watatolewa ‘knockout’ nisameheni.
Kimsingi, WBC inalenga kuwaondelea waishiwa hatari na kuonekana wa hovyo sawa na wapiga debe wa daladala wanaopigana hata kwa kugombea karanga.  Haiwezekani wahishimiwa wetu waendelee kutopea kwenye uishiwa hadi kutaka kushikana mashati tena hadharani, wenye akili na hishima tusifanye kitu.
Hivyo, WBC licha ya kuwa klabu ya burdani, inalenga kurejesha heshima za waishiwa wapenda kuchapana makonde ukiachia mbali kurushiana mitusi ya nguoni.
Nadhani jamaa yangu Pita Sherukamba upo na unanielewa sana na wale jamaa zangu toka Zenj na ndugu yangu Ali Kesi. Jioni Komba, Stivu Wahasira, Jiwelinaloishi Lusindi na wengine ambao ni mabingwa wa mitusi na mipasho mnanipata.
Bila shaka, mtaunga mkono huu ukombozi wenu.
Napanga kutoa burudani ambayo haijawahi kushuhudiwa popote duniani. Licha ya kutoa burudani na kuongeza kipato cha waishiwa, ndondi zitapunguza majungu, mipasho na mitusi.
Pia ndodi zitawasaidia waishiwa kupunguza viribatumbo vitokanavyo na kuvimbiwa ulaji na hishima. Naamini ndondi licha ya kuwaburudisha waishiwa na watazamaji, pia zitaondoa tabia uchwara ya woga fulani kutishatisha walevi kuwa watakwenda porini kama mambo yao hayatapita.
‘Simple’, kama unayaweza ingia uringoni badili ya msituni au kukimbilia kututishia geshi.
Sitanii. Kwa vile Bongo inaruhusu mtu yeyote kuanzisha kitu chochote kuanzia EpA, madhehebu ya dini, ESCROW aka.. screw na mambo mengine, nina hakika nitapata leseni hii inayolenga kutunisha mshiko wa wahishimiwa.
Waishiwa wakipata posho ya kuzichapa, makalio, usingizi, mipasho, taarabu na mambo mengine bila shaka watakuwa wenye furaha.
Pia njuluku watakazozoa baada ya kushiriki pambano zitawaepushia kwenye kubomubomu kwenye mashirika binafsi kama ilivyofichuliwa hivi karibuni kiasi cha waishiwa kuumbuka na kuumbuana kabla ya kulianzisha segere lililotaka kuishia kwenye ndondi kiasi cha mlevi kupata wazo la kutengeza njuluku.
Pia waishiwa wakishazoea kuzichapa hawatakuwa tayari kuburuzwa na chama kama kamati.
Maana kutokana na kujua kuzichapa, kama atatokea mtu au kikundi cha watu hata chama kuwatisha, wataamua kurusha ngumi haraka na kumaliza udhia hapo hapo bila kuhitaji kupoteza muda na njuluku za umma wala kutoa burudani kwa vyombo vya umbea.
Baada ya kuanzisha WBC nataka nihakikishe kwenye ule ukumbi wa mjengoni nako kunakuwa na ukumbi wa ndondi.Pia, nitapendekeza sheria zibadilishwe.
Kama ikitokea waishiwa wawili kushindwa kuelewana, sheria zizuie matusi na kuruhusu wazichape.Kuzichapa kutaondoa nongwa ngoa na kukata ngebe kiasi cha kuokoa njuluku na muda wa umma ukiachia mbali kupata pesa na ujiko.
Kwa sasa naangalia uwezekano wa kupanga mechi baina ya Daud Kafulia na Sossie Muongo ili kuondoa shaka juu ya ukwapuaji wa njuluku zipatazo madafu bilioni 200 kwenye fuko la ‘screw’ hivi karibuni.
Nataka wahishimiwa hawa watwangana mangumi hadi ukweli ujulikane juu ya ni nani alikwapua njuluku za walevi. Badala ya Muongo kutujaza uongo na umbea, tunamtaka ulingoni apambane na David aliyemchapa Golliati.
Mechi nyingine bila shaka itakuwa baina ya Annae Kajuamlo Tiba- Ijuka vs Khalima Mundee ili tujue madai ya ukwapuzi wa ardhi yataisha vipi. 
Naamini huu mtanange utavuta wengi hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa unahusisha akina dada ambao siku hizi wamekuja juu karibu kwenye kila kitu.
Baada ya mechi ya Tiba na Mundee, napanga ifuatie ile ya Bill Lukuvie na Pita Msigwani ili tuone nani kijogoo wa wanyalukolo.
Hii nayo lazima itakuwa mechi ya kusisimua hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa wana masumbwi husika wanasifika kwa mihasira yao. Ila natoa onyo, hakuna haja ya mtu kujinyonga eti kwa sababu ametolewa ‘knockout’.
Hivyo, badala ya kutumia ‘knck-on’ itokanayo na ‘knockout’, wahusika wanashauriwa kuwa watulivu na wenye kukubali kuwa ulingoni ndiko msema kweli.
Kuna kipindi nilipanga kupanga mechi baina ya Jioni Komba na Kangi Lugo-la, lakini kwa kujua kuwa Jioni anaonyesha kuwa na afya yenye mgogoro hasa kiribatumbo, bado nawasiliana na daktari wa mchezo huu ili anipe ushauri.
Kwa vile lengo na WBC ni kurejesha heshima ya mjengo, nawashaurini waishiwa wote waliokuwa wamewekeza kwenye matusi na ngumi za mitaani waachane nayo na kuja kujiunga na ngumi za kulipwa ambazo bila shaka zitawaongezea mashabiki na wapiga kura ya kula mwakani.
Kwa vile walevi wamepigika hasa baada yakugundua kuwa kuna mafisadi wengi kuliko wanavyoweza kufuga na kulisha, ubabe unaweza kuwa mtaji mzuri wa kisiasa hasa utakapokuwa umeonyeshwa ulingoni badala ya ngumi za mitaani au kwenye viwanja vya mjengoni.
Baada ya kufanya majaribio ya mechi tangulizi za waishiwa, nitapanga mechi moja ya kufa mtu baina ya Sam Sixx na Annae Makidamakida ili kuamua nani anapaswa kuwa kipaza sauti wa mjengo kihalali. 

CHANZO: NIPASHE 

Better form your party Mr.Kinaana

Dear hon. Abduli Kinaana, secretary General of Chama Cha Mapinduzi (CCM),

Allow me to humbly touch base with you through this open forum. I know. You read newspapers. If you don’t, your kids, friends, even officials do.

Sir, you left me lost recently when the media quoted you attacking the govt of your boss-cum-friend saying that it's abandoned wananchi and ignored their problems. I nearly freaked out. True, it's difficult to understand if you understood what you said on that material day you addressed the wananachi of Ayamango village, Babati in Manyara. If you did, it is difficult to know if your colleagues in the party know what you’re up to.  For, you openly attacked your boss President Jake Kiquette’s in many instances. Did you notice this thereafter? If anything, this is the crux of the whole issue I’m to discuss in one big push to urge you form your party or just dance like your boss.

   Hecklers say that sometimes you talk like opposition leaders, sometimes, like a muddled person and sometimes, like the person passing a buck to others in your party.  They add. It is as if you haven’t been in the hunk for years. And you've always tried to distance yourself from the mess the CCM govt’s been making. They say that you want to look good and you speak as if you aren’t part and parcel of the outfit that’s screwed the boozers up despite serving in the ranks for long time. What confuses even more is the fact that you’re Kiquette’s campaign manager in the 2005 chakachuazation whereby it was alleged that they robbed the Bank of Tanzania billions of shillings under EpA profligacy which Kiquette’s nary spoke about or refuted. So too, you attack the govt as if it isn't manned by your party  to which you're a boss  let alone that it is manned by the candidate you backed and worked for so to reward you ulaji.

Sir, your enemies say that you’re recently quoted saying that the govt’s abandoned the wananchi for not solving their problems. You wondered why the govt ignored the plight of the people for all years it has been in power.   Detractors say that you speak as if you've nary been part of the govt you've always blamed.  They add that it is as if you've no ability to meet the govt that your party forms to air your grievances.  They ask: Why are you using political rostra instead of right channels? Detractors speculatively try to answer their own questions saying that you’re eyeing the presidency come next year general elections. Wow! Why using others instead of coming out of the closet Mr. Kinaana?

 After accusing the govt of sleeping on the wheel, your cynics say that you've proved to be confused so as to confuse others. For, you were quoted as saying that you’d tell Kiquette of people’s problems to see how he’s going to address them. Well well Kinaana, if you knew you can see Kiquette and talk about the problems boozers face, why attacking your govt in the first place? Did you want to look good just like your friend did when he’s running for ulaji in 2005 whereby his opponents were knocked out with smear campaigns under your watch?

          Your knockers add that you wanted a credit where you didn’t perform.  For, they say, whatever failure the govt is responsible for you must be among the first officials to be blamed. Critics say that you’re not supposed to wonder why the govt’s always been there with a lot of officials but failed to tackle boozers’ problems because you've always been part and parcel of the same sitting-duck-and-non-delivering govt sir.

          Your disparagers seem to bay for your blood politically. They quoted you as saying that the govt belongs to the people and it must serve them. You said after being told that for over 20 years over 15 ministers went to Ayamango to deal with land issues to no avail. If, for 20 years your govt’s unable to solve the problem where do you think miracles will emanate to enable the same failed govt to solve the same problems it was unable to solve for over twenty years? Your detractors say that this is the sign of confusion and proofs that you’re doing politics instead of addressing wananchi’s problems. For, they say, you did not suggest any solution save complaining as if you’re guiltless.

          Decriers left us in stitches when they quoted you saying that over 10 ministers failed to solve land disputes in Ayamango. They wondered how furious you’re when asking why such leaders are still in power even after failing miserably for over 20 years. They wondered why you didn't know that the issue here was not about ministers but the whole govt to which you've always been part and parcel. So in other words they say you’re axing the branch you’re sitting on. In a simple parlance, sir, you’re attacking your own party and the govt it forms. You’re proving opponents who want it out to be true that it has failed miserably. This being the case, why don’t you form your own party and say what you’re saying and thereby make sense? Failure to that, you’re seen as being insincere and arrogant thinking that you can get away with it.

Source: Guardian on Sunday.

Will Museveni ban me?

When he naps don't say so.

Say he is meditating.

When he goes to washroom don't say so

Say that he has gone somewhere to see somebody

African demigod nary do mundane things

When they perform natural roles be careful

Don't mention all

Museveni meditates though naps.