What's wrong Ikulu to use oil guzzlers?

The other day I read a story complaining that this rich (but begging)
country has trashed expensive Mercedes Benz Nyerere left in the white
house so as to buy more expensive BMs. It said that there are five
brand new BMW that were purchased at the tune of between Tshs.
200,000,000 to 500,000,000. Well done. This is the way money is made.

First of all, what is wrong with having ultra modern oil guzzlers?
Don’t those that do not know by having expensive vehicles we beef up
our reputation internationally? Methinks. After purchasing an expensive
presidential jet that saw the reputation of our nation swell, we’ve
decided to add even BMWs. What a smart idea! Indeed this is but
Mkapa’s legacy.
You fix ikulu’s fire appliances. Within a week the firedresses you down to prove that you made money.

I seems. We’ve taken a leaf from one MP from Arusha in the constituency
renowned for using horses as means of transport that said VXs are the
cars of their status.


Let me take this opportunity to compliment the chief secretary Philemon
Luhanjo who answered, “Ahaa, bwana ee...!”, when he’s asked to comment on the same. Well done Phil. The big official like you should not waste time answering questions by impish journalists.

Phil you offered healthy answers especially for the person of your
stature. Don’t they know you are big cheese whose office is but a
private estate? Don’t they know? You’re only answerable to God.

There are those saying it’s bad for a begging nation like ours to
purchase such machines. I pray to distantly differ. Our supplication
is not caused by need but fashion. We beg so as to make those former
colonialists redress us for the harm they caused under colonialism.

Let detractors say whatever they deem fit. But when it comes to what
they call squandering our dosh, mimi simo. Count me not. What’s wrong
with this hank especially when it comes to using upstairs? These guys
think we’re poor nation? Don’t they see how we pardoned EPA and
Richmond thieves before we turned tables against them? If we’re poor
as they wrongly think, we’d have crucified these filchers on the spot.
Those opposing this money-making project are poor at thinking. Don’t
they know this hank belongs to the biggies not hoi polloi! The biggies
are vested with the duty to see to it that money is spend whilst the
hoi polloi cough whatever money needed for the upkeep of their biggies
and their extended families. Huu ndiyo uzalendo. The duty of a common
Joe is to pay tax and that of the government is to spend it as it deems
fit.

Also another duty of the government is to privatize all public
properties. This helps the country to enter free markets based on
generosity and complicity. We’re making a heck of fortune in this.
Why don’t we spend such money on buying oil guzzlers for our enjoyment that's your peril?


I need to know. Those that made such stupid allegations calling this
noble project stage show, don’t they know that the president of kasi
mpya nguvu mpya and ari mpya need gari mpya? The new regime must come in with new regime of things: new ways of doing corruption; new ways of doing things especially serving and saving people. Don’t you see the way president is saving his people?


And indeed this is development economically. For, we add up to our
imports. Don’t ask about exports. This is not important after all.


I am told. Over Tshs. 500,000,000 was spent on this money-making
project involving the biggies. This purchase has improved our
relationship with Germany. On top of that, I am told. This begging
nation has over 40,000 units of vehicles whereby over 15,000 are VX
thing. To show the world especially donors that we are begging
fashionably, I propose the number be doubled.



I’m sure with such expensive machines we’ll be able to easily make
it to the promised Canaan in one piece. And with such durable machines I
am confident. Worth life for everybody is a reality. When I say
everybody I mean them not us! Maybe when they said everybody they meant everybody of the inner sanctum but not hoi polloi. So those still
languishing in poverty should wait for their turn. And they should also
wait to be told so.

What are the booted out Mercedes Benz doing currently? Don’t tell me
that some high profile wing-nuts are going to ‘sell’ these creatures to
the same cabal of filchers. And indeed this will bring much money to
our coffers.




What I never understood is the fact that we’re ‘fame sick’. Shame on
you that wrongly think we reap where we did not saw. What is wrong with
our enjoying new BMWs?


Take my words. After this stage show being committed, some blacklegs
will come telling us to be economical. For our power-that be has no
money! Tell it to birds. When it comes to stupid things, there is no
money. Some say that youths in the high learning institutions are
suffering for not being given loans for their education. But this
should be blamed on their parents for not sending them abroad to do
their degrees just like our kids.



Our camarillas and hospitals are in good shapes. We’re genius. Stones
are used as seats in classes. While in wards one bed serves three
people at ago. Where else should we invest instead of pomposity and
self amusements?

This is the goodness of our system. When it comes to getting money for
political matters, purchasing oil guzzlers, increasing waheshimiwa’s
pecks and other goodies, money is plenty. When it comes to corruption,
-sorry- uh takrima, money is plenty. Why? It’s just because we’re the
beneficiaries. Where else do those day dreamers want us to go mint
money?

Phil, if you can, please concoct another project of having a new white
house built in Bagamoyo or Msata. As for teachers’ salary increase,
forget. This is not important. Kwanza walimu ni wito.

Source: Thisday Nov. 28, 2008.