Hii ya Masoud kwa Mkuya nimeipenda

Chanzo: Mwananchi Jan., 31, 2014.

Source: The Guardian IPP Jan., 31, 2014.

Mkuya’s and Malima’s CVs smell fishy

 

Reading the Curricula Vitae for the newly appointed minister of Dosh, Saadia Mkuya Salimu and her deputy Adam Milima boozers smelt something fishy. I could see how they snooked after reading these CVs.  For these CVs beg many more questions than answers so to speak. What isn't clear, however, is whether the problem is the CVs themselves or the way they’re written. Looking at the inputs in the said CVs, there’s something giddy.

Essentially, the CV is a reception to our academic lives. Thus, writing it needs much care to see to it that it is written professionally and logically.  All details included in the CV are checked and crosschecked again and again to make sure that everything is spiffy. True, writing a CV can prove to be a challenge when the said CV has some fake or far-fetched items or if it is written by unqualified person. Indeed what the CV says tells the readers who the writer is academically. For, it speaks volume. It also unearths what is intended to be hidden. There are some questions that Mkuya, for instance, needs to answer in order to shun the doubts that her CV creates. Notably, among those five years from being a mere office to a commissioner of finance, two or three years namely 2008-2010) were spent on her “masters” degree which she obtained from unmentioned school. Why didn't she mention the school from which the acquired her master degree? May be the school is tired of publicity. Who knows? It doesn't want to be bugged maybe.

Now let’s delve into these two CVs commencing with Mkuya’s

Mkuya’s CVs indicates that she’s employed by Zanzibar Treasurer as an officer in 2003 the position she held up till 2006 when she became an administrative office. This is normal. What raises eyebrows is how Mkuya’s able to jump up to being appointed the commission of Finance (Zanzibar) in 2011 just after five years-it is too good to be true.  Wait. This isn't the end of this stunning story though. After obtaining her masters, in 2012, Mkuya’s appointed a Member of Parliament by President Jakaya Kikwete who went ahead appointing her deputy minister of Finance in the union government. Before long, Mkuya was appointed minister of dosh after the death of her boss. What a flying lady as far as promotions are concerned. Huyu si mtu wa kawaida. If she’s then there must be a very powerful Godfather if not a sponsor. This is Bongo. Who cares?

Going back to Mkuya’s CV it indicates that from 1997 to 1999 she studied for a Diploma in Business at, once again, the unmentioned school. As of 2000 to 2002 Mkuya studied for the second master degree from undisclosed school. Interestingly, Mkuya’s CV does indicate as to when she got her first degree which means she was doing master degree without having an undergraduate degree! Ironically, even after completing her “second degree” Mkuya was awarded a certificate but not a degree! Is this possible? Maybe it only possible in Danganyika where ministers can be accused of forgery and still be appointed not to mention those who mess the ministry of education so as to be referred to as Mizigo. Despite all such goo, the guys are appointed so that they can mess even more.

 After briefly serving Mkuya’s CV let’s peep in Malima’s

Malima’s CV is as interesting just like that of his boss is. For it indicates that Malima completed Form four in 1982. Thereafter, in 1983 Malima went to Cuba to study for master degree even before completing advanced secondary school. It only is possible for an extra genius to jump from ordinary Level to masters! Again, this is only possible in Bongolalaland where curiosity is a very foreign term as far as sieving employees or public officers. What matters is not how much one is educated by how much one is connected. If you are not connected even if you have a very strong PhD you are as good as an illiterate compared to a connected illiterate.

Yo-ho-ho!  Just like his boss, Malima’s “two master degrees”!  Interestingly, after obtaining MSc (Economics) from the university of Hauana not Havana in 1989, Malima went ahead and obtained the same degree namely MSC (Econ) from the University of London (SOAS) in 1995. Why did he study the same degree twice whereas master’s programs are flexible so as to allow a person to do masters in other areas? Who knows? Again, what Malima did is intriguing academically.

Boozers didn't show any mistrust when Malima’s appointed deputy minister of dosh just like they did for Lam Michembe. However, if Malima and Mkuya are not well cooked academically, boozers worries that dosh will be scooped for next uchakachuaji are reasonable. For, the guy the doubt will use this weakness to do his things. Maybe those who appointed the trio knew what they’re doing as far as raising money for another EPA-like exercise is concerned.

In sum, let it be said loudly that Mkuya’s and Malima’s are wanting. They've, if it were law, what we call lacunae. Without answering above-posed questions, boozers won’t differentiate them from other forgers.

Source: Business Times Jan., 31, 2014.

Urais: Tuwakatae watoto wa vigogo

 

          Taarifa ambazo hazijakanushwa naibu waziri wa Mawasiliano Sayansi na Teknolojia, January Yusuf Makamba anajipigia debe kugombea urais haziwezi kupita bila kujdaliwa. Taarifa zilizokaririwa na vyombo mbali mbali ni kwamba Makamba ana mpango wa kugombea urais kwenye uchaguzi mkuu ujao wa 2015. Wengi wanajiuliza Makamba ana sifa gani zaidi ya jina la baba yake ambalo nalo linahusishwa na ufisadi, kujuana, kurithishana madaraka na propaganda tu? Kwa umri alionao na historia yake ya kuingia kwenye siasa kupitia mgongo wa baba yake, sijui kama January ana jingine la mno. Je watanzania wataendelea kubariki utawala wa kifamilia ambapo kila anayepata nafasi serikalini uhakikisha anamrithisha mtoto wake au jamaa yake? Hii ni jinai hata kama imezoeleka na kuanza kukubalika. Hii ni hujuma kwa watanzania wasio na majina makubwa wala mjomba wa kuwabeba ili waingie katika ulaji wa kula kwa mikono miwili tena bila kunawa wala kuona aibu. Ni aina mpya ya ufisadi wa kimfumo inayolenga kuiteka nchi na kuigeuza shamba la bibi la baadhi ya koo zenye majina makubwa.

          Hii si mara ya kwanza wala ya mwisho kuongelea suala hili. Leo utasikia akitajwa Makamba. Kesho utasikia Nchimbi. Kesho kutwa utasikia akitajwa Mwinyi na kadhalika. Namna hii nchi haiwezi kuendelea kwa vile wahusika wanajuana na kulindana ukiachia mbali kulipana fadhila. Tusiruhusu Tanzania kufikia kuwa nchi ya hovyo kama zile ambapo rais anamteua mkewe kuwa waziri huku akimuandaa mwanae kumrithi.  Tuondokane na taifa ambalo kila aliye karibu na mkubwa naye ni mkubwa.

          Je watanzania wataingia mkenge kama Kenya ambao walichagua jina la mwanzilishi wa taifa hilo kwa sababu ya kikabila? Je Makamba anataka kuingia kwenye orodha ya watoto wa vigogo waliopata madaraka simply because baba zao walikuwa wazito kama vile Aman Abeid Karume, Ian Khama, Faure Gnassingbe Eyadema (Togo), Joseph Laurent Kabila (DRC) na Ali Omar Bongo (Gabon).

          Je Makamba hajaridhika na ulaji kwenye kundi lake la wateule watoto wa vigogo la akina Emanuel John Nchimbi, Dk. Husein Ali Hassan Mwinyi, Adam Malima, Mbaraka Abudulwakil, Vita Kawawa, na Zainab Kawawa ukiachia wale waliotamalaki kwenye balozi zetu huko nje?

          Hapa hujawataja wakuu au waliowahi kuwa wakuu wa wilaya watokanao na koo za vigogo kama vile Gerald J. Guninita,Paul Mzindakaya,Festo Kiswaga, Khanifa M. Karamagi, Husna Mwilima, John V. K. Mongella, John B. Henjewele, na Agnes Hokororo.

          Hata ukienda kwenye ofisi nyingine za ulaji wapo kama vile Dk. Hawa Rashidi Kawawa (Mganga Mkuu Msaidizi wa Jiji la Dar es Salaam), Dk. Guni Kate Kamba (Mganga Mkuu wa Manispaa ya Kinondoni), Dk. Asha Omar Mahita – (Mganga Mkuu wa Manispaa ya Ilala) na Dk. Amani Kighoma Malima (Mganga Mfadhiwi wa Hospitali ya Temeke).

Ndani ya CCM wapo Ridhiwan Kikwete, Dickson Membe, Freddy Lowassa, Ashura Hussein Mwinyi, Ben Samuel Sitta, Deborah Mwandosya, Irene Pinda, Felister Ndugai, Christopher Ndejembi, Sharifa Bilal, Hawa Kigoda, Judith Mukama, Jerome Msekwa, Mboni Mhita na wengine wengi.

Benki kuu nako hawakosi. Wapo wakihomola na kulinda maslahi fichi ya baba zao. Wapo Salama Ali Hassan Mwinyi, Filbert Tluway Sumaye, Zaria Rashid Kawawa, Blasia William Mkapa, Jerriet Marten Lumbanga, Pamela Edward Lowassa, Rachel Muganda mtoto wa mke wa Daudi Balali aliyeliingiza taifa hasara ya mabilioni ya EPA na aliyekuwa gavana wa Benki Kuu,Salma Omary Mahita,Justine Mungai,Kenneth Nchimbi,Violet Philemon Luhanjo,Liku Kate Kamba,Thomas Mongela na Jabir Abdallah Kigoda. Ni uroho na roho mbaya kiasi gani? Hapa hatujataja walioko kwenye taasisi nyeti kama vile TRA, Ubalozini, Mambo ya Nchi za Nje, Viwanda, Hazina, Uhamiaji, Mizani, na kwingineko kwenhye maslahi manono. Kimsingi, kinachofanyika, ni kwa watawala wa sasa na waliopita kuwaandalia watoto wao na jamaa zao kuendelea kutawala hata baada ya wao kuondoka. Hapa ndipo utawala wa kifalme usio rasmi na kuwalindana unapotengenezwa mchana kweupe huku watanzania wakiendelea kuwaamini kuwa wapo kuwakomboa wasijue wapo kuwakomoa na kujikomboa wao binafsi na koo zao. Huwezi kuwa na kujuana kwa namna hii ukashindwa kuwa nchi ya kifisadi nay a kiukoo (nepotic and clannish country). Huwezi kuliepuka hili hata kidogo.

 Nadhani watanzania wamechoka na utawala wa kurithishana iwe ni serikalini au chamanni. Je hawa watoto wasio na majina mazito watatawala lini nao? Je Tanzania ni nchi ya kifalme chini ya ufalme wa vigogo wa Chama Cha Mapinduzi na serikali yake? Tufikie mahali tuambiane ukweli kuwa kuna haja ya kuwakataa watoto wa vigogo ambao kimsingi wanataka kuendeleza utawala wa familia na mawazo mgando yale yale na sera za kujuana na kulipana fadhila.

          Japo Makamba kama mtanzania yeyote anayo haki ya kugombea uongozi ngazi yoyote, ukiangalia historia na uzoefu wake, unashangaa sifa atazipata wapi zaidi ya jina la baba yake.  Ukiangalia hata jinsi alivyopata elimu yake ya sekondari kuna mazabe. Ningependa kusikia siku moja akijitetea kuhusiana na tuhuma kuwa alinunua jina la mchovu ili kuweza kusoma kidato cha tano na sita. Kama ni kweli alifanya hivi, huyu anaweza kufaa kuwa rais? Akipata urais atawanunua wangapi? Bahati mbaya watawala wetu wanapokabiliwa na kashfa na tuhuma kama hizi huwa wanakaa kimya ili zijifie wasijue kuna watu wasiosahau.

          Tuhitimishe kwa kuwashauri watanzania kuwa macho na watu wanaotumia majina ya baba au mama zao kuusaka uongozi. Tuwafichue, kuwazodoa na kuwaambia fika kuwa hawatufai. Kama wanafaa basi wanafaa kuondolewa kwenye nyadhifa walizozipata kutokana na ukubwa wa majina ya wazazi wao au mitandao ya kujuana ya kiulaji iliyotamalaki nchini. Inatosha basi kumwambia mtu kama Makamba kuwa hana sifa za kuweza kugombea achia mbali kuwa rais wa Tanzania. Walichokula kinatosha. Tuwaachie wengine wenye uchungu na uwezo wasimame lakini si wachovu wanaojificha nyuma ya umaarufu na mitandao ya wazazi wao.

Chanzo : Dira Januari, 2014.

Kibonzo hiki kimenikumbusha ajali niliyopata

Miaka kama mitatu iliyopita nilinusurika ajali ambayo ilifanana kidogo na hii. Hivyo kibonzo hiki kimenirudisha nyuma miaka mitatu kiasi cha kunikumbusha kuwa nimshukuru Mungu zaidi kwa kunipa salio zaidi vinginevyo ningekuwa past tense.
 Hii chini ni ajali yenyewe.

Nenda IGP Mwema na mikono iliyojaa damu

INSPEKTA Jenerali wa zamani wa Jeshi la Polisi nchini (IGP), Said Mwema, amestaafu. Ameacha kiti kinachobubujika damu ya wanyonge.
Ameondoka na mikono iliyojaa damu ya wasio na hatia. Wasio na haki wamemlinda na kumpitisha kimya kimya huku akikabiliwa na tuhuma lukuki za mauaji ya watu wasio na hatia aliopaswa kuwalinda.
Ni ajabu kuwa Mwema ameruhusiwa kustaafu kwa heshima na kufaidi marupurupu na mapochopocho yatokanayo na kodi za wale waliouawa chini ya uongozi wake bila hatia.
Kimsingi hakustahili kufanya hivyo kama historia ya utendaji wake ingetiliwa maanani.
Mwema anaondoka na wingu la kashfa lukuki, moja kubwa ikiwa ni kuzidi kwa mauaji ya raia chini ya uangalizi wake. Ameacha legacy na mfano mbaya wa unyama na ukatili usio na kifani.
Mfano, wengi walidhani Mwema angewajibishwa yalipotokea mauaji mengi ya raia huko Mwanza, Musoma na kwingineko. Lakini hakuwajibishwa.
Hata yalipotokea mauaji ya mwandishi Daud Mwangosi, Septemba 2, 2012, licha ya Mwema kutowajibishwa, hata aliyesimamia mauaji yale, Michael Kamuhanda alipandishwa cheo na kutowajibishwa.
Huu ni ushahidi tosha kuwa Mwema alikuwa akiridhia mauaji yaliyokuwa yakitekelezwa na jeshi lake, huenda chini ya maelekezo yake au wakubwa zake.
Nani mara hii kasahau mauaji ya watu watano kule Arusha kwenye mkutano wa Chama cha Demokrasia na Maendeleo (CHADEMA) mnamo Januari 2011? Nani amesahau utesaji wa Dk. Steven Ulimboka hapo Juni 26, 2012? Nani amesahau hata kusamehe kutekwa na kuteswa kwa Mwenyekiti wa Jukwaa la Wahariri (TEF), Absalom Kibanda hapo Machi 5, 2013?
Hayo ni machache ya matukio ya jinai yaliyotendwa chini ya uangalizi wa Mwema ambaye matendo yake ni tofauti na kinyume na jina lake.
Hapa hatujagusia matukio ya mauaji yaliyotekelezwa na polisi dhidi ya raia mmoja mmoja kama yale yaliyotokea kule Mara Agosti 29, 2012 kwenye mgodi wa Barrick Nyamongo ambako polisi waliwaua watu wawili, Paulo Sarya ( 26) na Rodcers Nyamboroga (18) kwa kuwapiga risasi na mengine mengi kama hayo.
Sasa tunaambiwa Mwema amestaafu na nafasi yake kuchukuliwa na Ernest Mangu ambaye tungependa ajitenge na utendaji wa kinyama kama huu.
Tunapoandika Mwema ni mstaafu anayekula kuku kutokana na marupurupu ya kustaafu ambayo hakustahili kama nchini mwetu mtu angekuwa analipwa kutokana na stahiki yake.
Je, ni wangapi wameumia au kupoteza maisha na hata wapendwa wao chini ya utawala wa Mwema?
Japo Mwema “amestaafu” kwa amani, ameacha nyuma uchafu mkubwa ambao utamlazimu mrithi wake kufanya kazi ya ziada. Ameacha chuki baina ya wananchi na polisi kutokana na vitendo alivyosimamia vya uvunjaji na ukiukwaji wa haki za binadamu nchini. Ameondoka na mikono iliyojaa damu ya watu wasio na hatia. Mwema analijua hili vizuri.
Jinamizi la mauaji yaliyofanywa chini yake halitamwacha hata kama watawala wenzake wameamua kumkingia kifua na kumstaafisha kwa amani.
Ukiachia mauaji chini ya Mwema, Jeshi la Polisi lilipata pigo jingine kwa kuwa na sifa ya kuwa kiranja wa rushwa nchini.
Kwa mujibu wa ripoti ya uchunguzi iliyotolewa na Kituo cha Sheria na Haki za Binadamu cha Dar es Salaam (LHRC) ya mwaka 2011, iliyozinduliwa Mei 28, 2012, Jeshi la Polisi lilikuwa ndiyo kinara wa rushwa nchini.
Kwa mujibu wa ripoti hiyo, polisi wanaongoza kwa rushwa kwa asilimia 36.2, wakifuatiwa na mahakama asilimia 32.4, Mamlaka ya Mapato Tanzania (TRA) asilimia 15.1, hospitali asilimia 8.6, na Wizara ya Ardhi imepewa asilimia 5.3.
Si hilo tu. Polisi wamekuwa wakitajwa kwenye vitendo vingi vya jinai kama vile kushiriki ujambazi, ujangili na jinai nyingine. Rejea kukamatwa hapo Januari 6, 2013 kwa askari David Delina na Gerald Tuti wakitorosha pembe za ndovu.
Japo kila tukio chini ya jua lina funzo, tunajifunza jambo moja toka kwa Mwema kuwa hakuwa mwema kama jina lake.
Tunajifunza kuwa mfumo wetu wa kulindana unazidi kutukwamisha kiasi cha kuwaruzuku watu wanaopaswa kuwa mbele ya mahakama kujibu madai ya ukiukwaji mkubwa wa haki za binadamu kama ilivyo kwenye sakata la Mwema.
Tunaweza kukubali kuzidiwa nguvu na wenye nguvu. Tunaweza kusamehe hata kwa kulazimika, lakini hatutasahau wala kushangilia wala kushabikia uoza na uovu huu.
Nenda Mwena japo bado kuna maswali mengi kuhusiana na mustakabali wako na utendaji wako. Unaweza kujiridhisha kuwa umestaafu ukiwa huna hatia mbele ya sheria, mioyoni mwa waathirika wengi wewe ni mtu wa kupaswa kushtakiwa.
Laiti ungewajibishwa hata kwa kulazimishwa kujiuzulu kama wengi walivyotaka, hasa baada ya kugundulika madudu ya uvunjwaji na ukiukwaji wa haki za binadamu kwenye Operesheni Tokomeza Ujangili sambamba na mawaziri husika, lakini haikuwa haikuwa hivyo.
Hata hivyo, binadamu ni nini? Tutazidi kuomba Mwenyezi Mungu asiyependelea atende haki kwa niaba ya waathirika. Tunawaombea waathirika wa kazi ya mikono yako nafuu toka kwa Mwenyezi Mungu tunayemkabidhi kesi yao baada ya wenye madaraka wenzio kutuhujumu kwa kukulinda kana kwamba ulikuwa ukiamrisha mauaji ya kuku.
Kwa ufupi ni kwamba Mwema kaa ukijua kuwa umeondoka na mikono iliyojaa damu ya watu wasio na hatia. Hata huyo anayerithi nafasi yako anapaswa aipige deki sana ofisi hiyo na kubadili kiti chako kilicholoa kwa damu ya watu wetu.
Nenda Mwema na legacy ya mauaji na uvunjaji wa haki za binadamu. Sina la ziada la kusema zaidi ya kuzidi kumuomba Mwenyezi Mungu awalipie wahanga wako.
Yeye ni mwema na mwenye kutenda haki. Sina shaka haki itatendeka kwako kama ilivyotendeka kwa mtangulizi wako aliyestaafu na kuishia kukumbwa na kashfa moja baada ya nyingine.

Isipokuwa basi tutajifariji kwa maneno ya Marcus Tullius Cicero, mwanafalsafa wa Kirumi aliyesema; “Amicitiae nostrae memoriam spero sempiternam fore – Nataraji kumbukumbu za marafiki zetu zitaishi milele. Namalizia, Juu ya uovu wako.
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Jan., 29, 2014.

Kijiwe chastukia CV ya waziri wa njuluku

BAADA ya msanii, sorry, mkuu kufanya vitu vyake, kijiwe nacho kinakuja kufanya vitu vyake. Haikuwa kwenye ajenda ya kijiwe kama si Mpemba kuibua kitu ambacho wengi hawakuwa wamekiona.
Mpemba anaingia akiwa na gazeti la Danganyika Daima. Anatweta kana kwamba kagundua dawa ya ngoma!
Anasema huku akiwa anatweta: “Assalaam alaykum jamia.” Tunajibu kwa pamoja: “Waleikum Salaam shehe.” Anaendelea: “Yakhe mwaona hili balaa?”
Kabla ya kuendelea, Msomi Mkata tamaa anamuuliza: “Yakhe balaa lipi mbona kuna mabalaa mengi kwenye kaya yetu. Lipi hilo lililoongezwa? Hebu tujuze basi utuondoe mshawasha tashwishi na shaka shehe.”
Anakunjua gazeti na kutuonyesha picha ya Waziri wa Njuluku aitwaye Saaada Mkuuuyaaa Saalimu.
Anasema: “Huyu binti mie namjua sana.” kabla ya kuendelea, Mbwa Mwitu anachomekea: “Umjua sana vipi ustaadh?”
Mpemba hajivungi. Anajibu: “Mie nanjua kama mtu mwenye CViii yenye utata. Kwa vile twajua alivozaliwa Kiembe Samaki na makuzi yake leo twaambwa yu msomi kiasi hiki wakati siyo!”
“Hebu Ami eleza uzuri. Una maana huyu bi mkubwa naye ni kihiyo kama wale ambao wamekuwa wakilindwa na mkuu wakidai wana Ma PhD kama yangu wakati ni feki?”
Mpemba anajibu: “Mie huko siendi. Chukua gazeti weye usome mwenyewe CViii yake uamue.” Anampasia gazeti huku kila mmoja akiwa na mshawasha wa kujua kunani.
“Du! Ukiachia mbali usomi wa mashaka, bi mkubwa alivyopandishwa vyeo si bure. Sorry. Hakupandishwa bali alipaishwa! Ama kweli tunaliwa na kila ajaye!” Anamalizia huku akitikisa kichwa kisha anaendelea: “Hili jamani ni bomu tena la uoza kama sikosei. Kumbe kaya yetu inaliwa na vihiyo wakati wasomi tuko vijiweni!”
Mgosi asiyependa neno kuliwa kulisikia tu anaamua kukwanyua mic: “Hata nawe msomi waiwa siyo?”
Msomi anajibu bila masihara: “Kwani wewe huliwi? Nadhani issue hapa si kuliwa ila kuliwa vipi. Maana hata hao wanaowala wenzao nao wanaliwa au vipi?”
“Mgosi mbona inatifumba. Mie nataka nijue kama unaiwa na anayefanya hivyo ni nani?” “Lisirikali finish!”
Mgosi anaonekana kukubali. Anasema: “Kumbe wanaondoa vihiyo na kuweka mihoyo au ni yale yale ya ondoa kihiyo weka mamihiyo?”
Mie naona wameweka wote. Kwani yule mtoto wa jamaa yake mkuu aitwaye Adamu Milima ya Kigoma si kihiyo anayekwenda kusaidiana na huyu mamihiyo anayesema Ami?” Anachomekea Kapende ambaye alikuwa kimya akisoma gazeti.
Mpemba anajibu: “Kwa huyu binti najua kuna ntu nyuma yake. Hana tofauti na yule mama aliyewahi kuwa waziri wa fwedha aliyepelekwa Marekani kipindi fulani aitwaye Aminia Salimu Alii.”
Mbwa Mwitu anadakia: “Huyo mtu anakaa nyuma yake ili iweje? Akiteleza akaanguka si atamuangukia?”
Wakati mambo ya kula na kuliwa yakiendelea, Kanji anajitia mjuaji kutaka okoa jahazi, anasema: “Sasa somi chukua gazeti, hapana sema nini iko. I know this lady iko na elimu ya fedha sana diyo maana tukufu teua yeye.”
“Wambie mwaya, wamezidisha uzushi hawa,” anachomekea Bi. Sofi aka Kanungaembe.
“Wambea tutawajua Bi. Sofi huna haja ya kutukana watu bila sababu,” anajibu Msomi huku akimpasia gazeti Mchunguliaji ambaye ametumbua mimacho utadhani mbwa kaona nyama.
Mipawa ambaye huwa haziivi na Bi. Sofi anaamua kukatua mic baada ya kukaa kimya kwa muda mrefu. Anasema: “Hebu wacha niwambiage. Huu mchezo umeota mizizi. Vyuoni tunasikia shahada zikitolewaga kwa rushwa ya ngono. Hata huko nako ni hapa. Hivi hamkumsikia yule muishiwa aliyesemaga kuwa pale mjengoni kila mtu ana mpenzi wake? Mimi naonaga ni hayo hayo hasa ukichukuliaga kuwa ni wale wale.”
Anakunywa kahawa na kuendelea: “Hawa wanaotuitaga wambeya ni wale wale wanaotegemea kubwebwaga na hao hao wabebaji.”
Sofi anamkata mipawa jicho la chuki na kusema: “Taabu ya watu wengine akipata mtu kabebwa. Kwani kosa kubwebwa? Nanyi bebeni wenu mechi droo.”
Mipawa anarejea tena: “Hujakosea kanungaembe. Ila si wote wana tabia za unungaembe. Kwanini kujidhalilishaga kwa ajili ya mambo ya kupita?”
Mzee Maneno naye anaamua kung’ata mic: “Mbona zama za Mchonga upuuzi kama huu haukuwepo?”
Kapende anadandia: “Umemsahau mzee Nchonga nini? Yeye hakupenda mambo ya chini chini wala kuruhusu sirikali yake kufanya hayo. Nani angeona watu wenye kutia shaka wakiteuliwa u-DC kama ilivyo sasa ambapo ukiwaona wengi unajua hapa kimepita kitu?”
“Weweee! Kitu gani hicho na kimepita wapi? Anachomekea Mbwa Mwitu kama kawaida yake.
Mgosi anajibu: “Unauiza jibu. Kinapita hapo hapo kwenye ulaji, unacheza na ulaji nini.”
Baada ya Msomi kuona utani unazidi, anaamua kurejesha mada kwenye mstari. Anachukua gazeti na kusoma: “Hebu tuwe serious. bi mkubwa anasema eti alisomea shahada ya pili bila kutaja chuo. Ajabu eti anasema alipewa cheti badala ya shahada ya pili! Hii inawezekana kweli?”
Mpemba anadandia: “Yakhe hii yawezekana Danganyika tu. Huwaoni wale vihiyo wanaoitwa madaktari wakati ni maamuma watupu?”
“Mie nadhani hata anayewapa ulaji naye ni kihiyo vinginevyo asingefanya hivyo.” Anachomekea Kapende.
“Yakhe washangaa chooni kwanukani!” Mpemba anachomekea huku akiendelea kuangalia picha ya bi mkubwa Saaada kwenye gazeti.
Msomi anaendelea: “Kubwa kuliko pale ni hapa CV yake inaposema eti aliajiriwa mwaka 2006 alikuwa na cheo cha afisa utawala. Huwezi kuamini kuwa ndani ya miaka mitano alishapanda cheo hadi kuwa kamishina wa njuluku wa upande ule! Ama kweli huku ni kupaishwa siyo kupandishwa cheo. Lazima kuwe na namna.”
Mpemba anachomekea: “Si haba bibie nzuri ati. Avutia kiasi cha kuvutia hata vyeo na kuteuliwa haraka haraka.”
“Sasa atakapovutia njuluku msishangae kusikia HEPA nyingine hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa timu aliyonayo inaonekana kuwa hapo kwa ajili hiyo,” anasema Kapende huku akibonyeza iPad yake aliyonunua hivi karibuni kuwakoga wasio nazo. Mambo ni kwenda na wakati.

Kijiwe kikiwa ndiyo kinanoga si likapita shangingi la Mwehu juu Nchembe tukaanza kuzomea na kumsahau Bi. Saaada.
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Jan., 29, 2014.

If I were Kinamna or Mape

• 

          True, you can take this to the bank. My crystal ball tells me that Chama Cha Maulaji’s (CCM) Sec. Gen., Abdulaman Kinamna and the head of ideology and hooey, Mapape Ninaye are now a liability. When the duo named mizigo ministers or liability, most goofed that those implicated were finished. Now that their boss Presider Jake Kiquette didn't’t understand their CCM patois as he did when Mapepe took on magamba, maybe, it is their time to hit the road. If I were them, I’d not hit the road but commit suicide if not to join the opposition. How on earth can one advise his boss who tells him raca stay in the same office?   Guys, CCM didn't’t like the way you washed your linens in the agora. 

When CCM’s top dogs barked, boozers were eager to see Kiquette bake mizigo before tossing them in the window.  What a humungous mistake to try to predict the guy who’s always unpredictable! It’s only sheik Ubwawa that’s able to easily predict what Jake’d do next due to the good communication between two actors. After all, they’re all doing abracadabra.

Now that Mizigo have triumphed over cadres, where’ll Kinamna and Ninaye put their faces? Will they bury their heads in the sands and bite the bullet?

To remind you, the mizigo that top dogs named were ministers Dr. Shcool Kawa-dog (Knowledge and Vocational Training), and  the late Bill Ngimua  (Dosh and Economic Affairs)  and Chris Chiiiza (Farming, Yum yum Security and Cooperatives) and  his deputy Adam Milima. Ask Mapepe and Kinamna. Where are these so-called mizigo now? They’re laughing at them. Other mizigo that appeared after the first ones are Prof Annae Kajuamlo Tiba-Ijuka, Hawa wana Ghasia, Bill Luku-vi, Sofi Lion, Steve Wahasira, Makorongo Muhanga, Marry Nyago and others especially those who forged their academic resumes.

Boozers were shocked to see the ever-messing mizigo being retained as they made their headways to ulaji. Who’d risk thinking that above mentioned mizigo’d be retained?   Ironically, when CCM top dogs took on the mizigo many goofed thinking something about getting rid of them would be done little knowing they’re painting the wind. Nope! It is now obvious. Kiquette’s ignored the duo thinking that what they told him was mere umbea. If I were them, I’d throw towel in and find a job of selling tomatoes that’s better than the humiliation the duo experienced. Why have Kinamna and Mapepe allowed themselves to play a second fiddle to Kiquette? Are they too mizigo that can’t pack and go for fear of dying of hunger? Are they accepting boozers’ belief that they’re but jackasses of all trade that can dress themselves down? Njaa nyingine bwana!

Like the most, boozers are now mourning the death of their vitegemezi’s future after Kawa-dog’s been retained in the same ministry to mess a great deal more. He’s now be given a cudgel to destroy the heads of our kids academically. He and Malima have proved to be untouchable. Who can touch the guy who comes from the same place with presider or the boy whose father introduced him to mzee Ruxa who henceforth created him? Kulipana fadhila bwana!

One boozer left us in stitches when he averred that when bwana mkubwa said that his government isn’t a joint venture he meant the opposite. His argument was simple: Look at how suspects of various messes are still in the offices. What’s that apart from being siri kali ya ubia? It is way too foolish to think otherwise as far as ubia-siri-kali’s concerned even by subception or subliminal perception. Call his govt whatever. The guy succeeded in fooling boozers so as to get away with it. Most thought that the guy’s to go under after EPA theft came to light. Nope! Who’d tell the king that he’s naked, his courtiers or the boozers?  Despite running on gas the car can’t stomach a Molotov bomb.

Looking at Kiquette’s theatrics chances are hadn't the mjengoni guys shown four ministers missing in the new cobbled cabinet the door, they’d have been munching as usual just like other mizigo. What made boozers happy is seeing Phil Mulugoo hitting the road. Those who don’t know or remember this guy, it is the guy who said that Tanzania’s the union of Tanganyika and Zimbabwe. It is sad that his boss Kawa-dog‘s been left in the office to fell our education even more.

Now that Kiquette decided to pooh pooh the advice of his party’s top dogs, Will these guys know tow or call it quits? Where’ll they hide their faces? What’ll they tell those they duped that they’d stand for their interests and rights? Now that a bunch of letdown’s proved to be untouchable, what’ll Kinamna and Mapepe do? For men enough, enough is enough. Call it a day in CCM or keep your heads down with indignity and humiliation as you chew a sour part of the apple. Again, if I were you the right thing for me to do was commit suicide or resign from my position and party. It is better to be a butler in this sense than being a cadre in this party.

Source: The Guardian Jan 26, 2014

Call him Prophet Nehemiah Jan Makamba

          The season for politicians, cheechakos, jugglers, power brokers, courtiers and cheerleaders are but readying to sharpen their tools and tongues is now as we approach the next general elections. All eyes are on the voters. Truth and lies are flying like crazy. Eventually, fake love and concerned for boozers is emanating like mushrooms so to speak. All liars will be out and about in leaps and bounds. I recently heard Jan Makamba, the minor for Comm., Sci., and Tech provocation when he likened himself to prophet Nehemiah. The difference, nonetheless, is. Nehemiah wasn't a self-seeker scheming for mundane power.

The guy shamelessly quoted Jeremiah 1: 4-10 which says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” This quote left the whole boozers’ palaver baffled. How dare you comparing yourself with prophet Nehemiah who’s selfless and God-fearing in the hunk of Richmonduli EpA, IPtL, UdA and many other stinking scandals whereby the high and mighty eat with both hands without even washing them?

Seriously, Jan, please fear God the almighty and don’t take us for yo-yos and yahoos. Do you mean God appointed you in a fast-track manner to become minister without any qualifications except your father’s name? Tell me. How many young persons of your age who are ministers without carrying big names? If I were President Jake Kiquette I’d fire you and wait to see if God would appoint you.

 Being a Muslim, many’d think that the guy’d use his book of authority. Others think that the boy’s trying to show udini even before becoming president. Therefore, those opposing to such hoo-hahs of using the word of God think: Makamba’d find another way of attaining his goals.

When the boy invented prophet-likening, one boozer said that we’d be prepared to hear plethora of blizzards and storms if not tons of lies such as asserting God ordered some criminals and swindlers to run for presidency. Guys, go tell it to the birds. God and prophets have nothing to do with your peccant penchant. Some fyatus wanted the guy to say it directly he wants to run for presidency simply because he carries a big name. They say that he wants to enjoy systemic –cum- kleptocratic- vigogo-dynasty rot our hunk’s in.

Before unmasking the whole lie, one boozer said that he sees no qualifications in the guy whose trump card in the game’s only his father’s name. Just like the Nchimbiiis, Mwinyiiis, Malimaaas, Karumeees, Kiquetteees, Nnauyees and many more, the guy sees himself and the likes as heirs of power that their parents have monopolized for long.

Though boozers are seen as fyatus due to swallowing a lot of kanywaji, they’they've a point. Those who know the boy well wonder how he’s promoted to such a high level. Again, does the boy think that the boozers have forgotten how his father, mzee Jose Makamba preempted everything saying his son would be appointed a minister. And before long, he’s appointed. This means that whatever the father of the boy says must be fulfilled. Again, if all father and son want’s presidency and power why’d they wrap their motive in God’s word? It's reached a point whereby the father is ready to dress down to defend Eddie Lowassa aka Mr Richmonduli who seems to feed the old ass well ass.

Apart from being a wino, sorry, a rookie, the boy needs to tell us what he’s ever done for our hunk. He’d tell us, apart from enjoying his father’s power that enabled him to go for higher education in the land of the gun lovers, what else has he done for our hunk.

The boy’s quoted quoting the bible saying, “God in his holy book wants a leader or deacon not to be quarrelsome, not to love money. He must manage his own family well. If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of a church or his country?”

Cool. We’re looking for a president but not a cleric or anything like it. Ironically, if looking after one’s family should have been one of the qualifications our president must have, some of those we see enjoying ulaji at Magogoni wouldn't have even gotten closer to the White House of our hunk.  Again, saying that a leader should nary love money’s a big lie. In our hunk, power means money making. That’s why your dad made sure that you take the baton after he was retired. Unconfirmed and undisputed news came that the same guy offered free transport and some take home dosh. Wasn't that money in the first place? Whom are you trying to take for a ride sir?

Given that the boozers know everything the vigogo and their kids do, time to tell the Makambas that we don’t want them is now. In kanywaji parlance we call what’s going on ufisi. Others call it greed and corruption.

One boozer left us in stitches when he quoted Hebrew 3:12 saying, “Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God.”

Before anybody chipped in, another quoted Genesis 6:12, which says, “And God saw the earth, and behold, it was corrupt, for all flesh had corrupted their way on the earth.”

The other one wound up the story quoting John 8:44 which says, “You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

Source: ThisDay Jan., 27, 2014.

Waziri auawa kwa mapanga

Waziri wa zamani wa Afya wa Central African Republic (CAR) Joseph Kalite (pichani) aliuawa kwa mapanga alipokuwa akishuka kwenye teksi mjini Bangui pindi tu baada ya kuapishwa kwa rais wa mpito  Catherine Samba-Panza. Hali nchini humu ni mbaya hasa baada ya kuzuka mapigano baina ya waislam na wakristo. Kalite alikuwa muislam. Kwa habari zaidi GONGA HAPA.

Hawking amenichanganya na kujichanganya sijui ndiyo anachanganyikiwa au mimi?

Mwana sayansi mlemavu Stephen Hawking wa Uingereza ni super star kwa vigezo vyote. Ni binadamu aliyeitikisa duni alipokuja na dhana yake ya Black Holes akimaanisha kuwa kuna matundu makubwa angani ambayo yanaweza kuwa na siri ya jinsi dunia ilivyoumbwa. Hawking ameandika vitabu vingi na kuuza sana duniani juu ya sayansi hii. Amekuwa maarufu kiasi cha kukaribia ushufaa wa akina Einstein na Sir Isaac Newton.
Hivi karibuni Hawkin aliwaacha wengi hoi alipojipinga akisema kuwa dhan yake ya Black Holes ni uongo kwani hakuna na wala haamini katika Black Holes zake. Badala yake amekuja na dhana nyingine mpya iitwayo Mind Bending Theory. Sie tunaweza kuiita Mind Boggling Theory karibia na mazingaombwe. Hiyo nayo ni sayansi au tuseme sanaa. Kwa habari zaidi GONGA HAPA.

Mlevi azidi kuing'ang'ania Katiba mpya!

Vulek’a amazulu,
Iyeza iyez’i Ngonyama
Kwancibilik’izintaba
Kwasha nemimfula
Lungis’indlela zakho,
Lungis’ukuhamba kwakho
Iyeza iyez’ i Ngonyama y’ amazulu
Kwa wasiokinyaka kizulu tafsiri hiyo hapo.
Funguka e mbingu,
Yu aja mfalme wa mbingu,
Milima sawazikeni
Na mito kaukeni x2
Nyosheni njia zenu
Nyosheni mapito yenu
Yu aja mfalme wa mbinguni.
Nilikuwa najiimbia wimbo huu wakati nikitafakari mambo mbali mbali. Niliimba wimbo huu kwa sana nilipokwenda kumzika Diba wa Madiba kule Sauzi.
Kwa vile mimi ni mkombozi japo sitoki mbinguni bali kwenye baa, niliona wimbo huu una mantiki sana. Mantiki yenyewe ni kutaka milima na mito yaani bara na visiwa visawazike na kukauka na kuunda kaya moja chini ya katiba moja mpya.
Wewe usomaye utume huu usome kwa sauti na nguvu. Uende uutangaze kwa walevi.
Usimame njia panda kwenye vilima na miinuko na kutangaza ukombozi wa kweli wa walevi.
Usimame kwa kujipiga kifua uutangaze utume huu uliopigwa mhuri wa alama ya mkuu wa walevi ukiwataka kila mmoja ajikomboe toka kwenye jinamizi liitwalo kupenda madaraka na kujilisha pepo.
Hata kama awaleteae habari hii njema ni mlevi, jua ni msomi ambaye hakughushi wala kupewa usomi wa heshima.
Nina shahada ya udaktari wa sheria ya Katiba yaani Constitutional Law PhD kwa lugha ya kimakonde.
Baada ya kugundua kuwa wapo walevi wanaopenda ukubwa kuliko walevi kwa kutaka eti tuwe na sirikali tatu na kaya tatu, nilitaka kumpigia simu Jaji Waryuba kumwambia asitishe majeshi yake.
Baadaye niliona nitampa ujiko. Hivyo, leo nimeamua kuja na pendekezo kuhusu Katiba Mpya ambayo si mzigo wala haina gharama kama hii inayopendekezwa ya siri kali mbili au tatu ambazo licha ya kuongeza mzigo kwa mlevi, inamnyima ujiko kiranja hasa wa muungano.
Walevi wamechoka kuendelea kunyonywa na kuishi kwa njuluku ya kudhalilishwa itokanayo na kuombaomba.
Wamechoka kuishi kwa pesa ya bangi na gongo ambavyo hupandishiwa kodi kila libajeti.
Wanataka ukombozi na mkombozi wao ni mimi aletaye utume huu wa ukombozi. Nasema wazi: Msikubali kuwa na serikali mbili au tatu hata Kaya.
Kama nyinyi ni wamoja kama msemavyo siku zote, fanya kitu kimoja-kuweni na kaya na sirikali moja.
Nilimsikia Waryuba akisema kuwa kama wadanganyika aka walevi watakaa rasimu yake basi wajiandae kuvunja muungano kwa kuzalisha sirikali nyingine ambayo itawaongezea kunyonywa na kudhalilishwa.
Nani anafurahia kunyonywa au kudhalilishwa hata kama ni mlevi? Huu si wakati wa kunyonyana bali kuonyana na kupeana ukweli mchungu hata kama unauma.
Wengi wameogopa kusema kwa vile watawaudhi wachache wapendao kula dezo tena kwa kunyonya damu ya wenzao. Mie sasa nasema: Enough is enough.
Tokana na utaalamu wangu wa uchumi na katiba nimekuja na simpo solution. Badala ya kumtwisha mzigo mlevi kwa kuanzisha utitiri wa siri kali za kilaji, nakuja nasema siri moja inatosha. Nani anapenda kuwa mtumwa wa siri tena kali? Nataka siri moja inayounganisha kaya mbili na sirikali zake mbili na kuunda siri kali moja lililoshikamana kulhali.
Nisemacho ni kwamba jamaa wa upande wa pili waliokuwa wakipewa ulaji wa dezo kama vile uishiwa hata uwaziri hawatakubaliana na hili la siri kali moja kwa vile itafichua siri kali yao ya ulaji vya wengine.
Hata hivyo, ieleweke kuwa kuunda siri kali moja chini ya kaya moja kutaondoa unafiki, ulafi, umimimimi na uwewewewe vilivyotapakaa ambapo walevi wanatwishwa mzigo bila sababu ya msingi.
Wanaopinga siri kali moja watakuja na sababu za kitoto kama vile kumezwa bila kukumbuka kuwa Danganyika ilimezwa kwa miaka 50 na walevi waliendelea kudunda na kula ugali wao huku wakiwamegea na wenzao wa upande mwingine.
Hakuna anayeweza kumezwa na kaya inayoundwa na majina mawili, yaani Tanga-nyika na Zenj.
Utamezwaje wakati kaya si mali ya yoyote bali pande mbili? Hivi kweli mume au mke anaweza kummeza mwenzake au wanakubaliana kumezana? Basi acheni utoto japo mara moja tufanye mambo ya kikubwa. Juzi niliwasikia Nambari Wani nao eti wakilalamika kuwa Waryuba alivuka mipaka.
Walitaka katiba na muundo wa kaya unaowanufaisha wao badala ya walevi siyo? Mshindwe na mnyong’onyee.
Hivi, kwa mfano, upande wa pili unaodai kumezwa mbona umekuwa ukimeza ubwabwa toka Ngeme bila kulalamika? Mbona kwa miaka yote umekuwa ukiwasha umeme wa Kidatu tena kwa gharama ya dezo wakati Wadanganyika wakilanguliwa umeme huo huo na hawakulalamika?
Changu kichungu chako kitamu siyo? Kwanini wasiseme kuwa wanahofia kupoteza nafasi za ulaji wa dezo kupitia kupewa uongozi kwenye kaya waliyoikana miaka mingi iliyopita?
Kwanini hawalalamikii mahanjumati na ofa za kuja bara kuzaliana ilhali wabara wakienda kule wanaambiwa wanapeleka mila chafu kama vile wizi, umalaya, bwibwi na upuuzi mwingine wakati si kweli? Mie naona hakuna muarobaini mwingine wa kukata hizi ngebe na mahusiano ya kugeuzana punda kama kuwa na serikali moja na nchi moja.
Nilishangaa kutoona wala kusikia mawazo yangu pale nilipodai kuwa kama watapendekeza serikali mbili au tatu, basi ni bora wavunje huo muungano ambao siku zote umegeuka mgongano na mnyonyano. Kwanini kipande cha ardhi kisicholingana na hata mkoa mdogo kuliko wote kitutie presha? Si tuwaache waende kivyao waone kama ni busara kuliko kuwang’ang’ania huku tukiwapa kila kitu wasiridhike bali kutaka zaidi?
Ukisema kiumane kila mtu kivyake watu wanaanza kusitasita kwa kujua kuwa wana ulaji toka upande mmoja kwenda upande mwingine. Tuamue tugawane mbao.
Hakuna haja kuendelea kupoteza muda na njuluku kugombea vyeo vya kisiasa wakati uchumi wetu unawekwa kimada na wachukuaji wanaoitwa wawekezaji.
Badala ya kujadili utitiri wa serikali tujadili jinsi ya kumkomboa mlevi lau anywe, kula na kufurahi badala ya kuliwa na utitiri wa marais.
Uliona wapi kaya moja ikawa na viranja watatu? Kama ni hivyo basi kila wilaya iwe na rais wake tuone kama kutakalika.
Inashangaza kusikia watu waliokuwa wakijigamba kuwa muungano wao ni mwanzo wa kuunganisha bara zima. Mtaliunganishaje mkiongeza utitiri wa vijikaya vya ulaji na uongo na ukweli?
Siko tayari kuitwa Mdanganyika. Kama nitakubali basi ni kwenye kaya huru badala ya haya mazingaombwe na uliwaji visivyo na tija kwangu kama mlevi.
Tukiunga na kuwa na siri kali moja, hakuna atakayemtukana mwenzake chogo au kumwita mbara kama ilivyo sasa.
Isitoshe hizi kaya angalau zina cha kuchangia kwenye muungano kuliko hivi vidoa vya ardhi vinavyoogopa kumezwa. Wao wakitumeza sawa. Sisi tukiwameza nongwa. Mambo gani haya ya kizamani?
Chanzo: Nipashe Jumamosi Jan., 25, 2014.