Katiba mpya, Kikwete mshinde shetani

HAKUNA ubishi kuwa Rais Jakaya Kikwete anakabiliwa na mtihani na kishawishi kikubwa. Hii ni baada ya kuridhia kuandikwa kwa Katiba mpya ya Tanzania baada ya kugundua kuwa katiba viraka ya sasa hailifai taifa katika kipindi hiki cha ushindani na mwamko wa kidemokrasia. Kwanza tumpongeze Kikwete kwa kuona mbali na kusimamia mustakabali wa taifa badala ya chama. Hata hivyo, hivi karibuni, baada ya bunge likiburuzwa na spika na naibu wake na makada na wabunge wa Chama Cha Mapinduzi (CCM) kuchakachua Katiba kielelezo, Kikwete anakabiliwa na mtihani na changamoto ya aina yake. Ingawa wengi humuona Kikwete kama rais aliyeshindwa kuamua vema alipoanzisha mchakato wa Katiba bila hata kuomba ushauri wa chama chake, wengi walianza kubadili hisia zao juu yake. Mambo yalikuwa yanakwenda kama ilivyopangwa hadi Bunge, kwa kusukumwa na CCM kuamua kwa makusudi kutanguliza maslahi ya chama badala ya masilahi ya taifa. Ni aibu iliyoje. Baada ya CCM kulalamika kupitia magwiji wake kama Kingunge Ngomabale -Mwiru aliyekaririwa hivi karibuni akisema kuwa hoja ya Katiba mpya si ya CCM bali CHADEMA, naibu spika aliamua kwa makusudi kuwafukuza wabunge wa upinzani tokana na kukataa kuchakachuliwa kwa katiba kielelezo. Hapo ndipo mtihani wa Kikwete unapoanzia. Mengi yameishasemwa na kuandika hasa kumtaka Kikwete asijitumbukize yeye na taifa kwenye mtafaruko. Swali la muhimu na kuu ni: Je, Kikwete ataamua kutelekeza taifa ili kunusuru chama au ataweka mbele maslahi ya nchi hata kama ni kwa kukitelekeza chama kilichoishiwa mvuto na uhalali wa kuwa madarakani? Kwa vile Kikwete aliamuru kukusanywa maoni kwa ajili ya kuandika katiba mpya kwa hiari na uzalendo wake, wengi bado tunaamini ana uwezo na nafasi ya kuepusha kuliingiza taifa kwenye mgogoro na mtafaruku visivyo na sababu. Kuna sababu za kuamini kuwa Kikwete atatumia busara na kuacha kusaini Katiba kielelezo iliyochakachuliwa na CCM na wabunge wao ambao waliipitisha bila kushirikisha wapinzani kana kwamba hii nchi ni mali yao peke yao.  Pili, Kikwete hatakubali kubeba lawama kwa kuchezea kodi ya mwananchi tena maskini kwa kukusanya maoni ambayo hayakuheshimiwa na chama chake na wabunge wake. Tatu, Kikwete atatumia busara kuepuka kuonekana kama mtu anayejipinga na asiye na msimamo. Maana kama CCM ilishindwa kumzuia kuanzisha mchakato wa kupata katiba mpya itamlazimishaje kuiua? Nne, Kikwete hatataka kuacha mfano mbaya wa kiongozi kigeugeu asiyeheshimu mawazo ya wananchi wala utawala bora. Tano, Kikwete anajua na kuamini kuwa katiba ni mali ya Watanzania na si mali ya wana CCM au wabunge wake. Pia Kikwete anajua fika kuwa Watanzania si wajinga wala majuha wa kufanyiwa hujuma kwenye kila jambo wasichukue hatua mujarabu. Rejea jinsi CCM ilivyoaibishwa kwenye chaguzi ndogo zilizopita huko Arusha na kwingineko. Sita, Kikwete kama atakataa kusaini muswada wa Katiba kielelezo atakuwa ameweka historia ya kuwa kiongozi anayesikiliza umma wake badala ya kikundi cha watu wachache waliovuruga kila kitu na sasa wakataka hata kuvuruga Katiba. Hakika kwa kukataa kishawishi hiki kichafu, ataingia kwenye vitabu vya historia kama kiongozi wa kupigiwa mfano aliyeweka mbele masilahi ya taifa badala ya chama. Saba, Kikwete anajua kuwa katiba ni mkataba baina ya watawala na watawaliwa na si nyenzo ya watawala kuwaburuza watawaliwa. Hivyo apuuze watu wenye mawazo mgando wanaomshauri upuuzi wa kulihujumu taifa. Nane, Kikwete anafahamu kuwa mazingira ya sasa ya kisiasa nchini si sawa na yale ya chama kimoja. Kama nguli wa siasa za chama kimoja Mwalimu Julius Nyerere alifikia mahali akauona ukweli, Kikwete ni nani ajifanye kipofu, kiziwi na kichwa ngumu? Tisa, Kikwete hana sababu yoyote inayoingia akilini ya kuibeba CCM kwenye suala nyeti kama hili. Rejea usemi wake kuwa CCM ijiandae  kisaikolojia kuondoka madarakani kama Watanzania watachagua upinzani kwenye uchaguzi ujao. Huu ni ushahidi kuwa Kikwete hataki upuuzi na ni ahadi kuwa atahakikisha uchaguzi ujao unakuwa huru na wa haki. Kumi, Kikwete  si kiongozi wa kujipiga mtama wala mwenye kuamini katika mawazo mgando na ya kizamani kama wale wanaomshinikiza aue katiba mpya bila kujali madhara yake. Ushauri kwa wanaomshinikiza Kikwete aue katiba mpya. Kwanza, wafahamu kuwa hawatafanikiwa kunyamazisha sauti ya umma unaotaka katiba mpya ili kusonga mbele badala ya kuselelea kwenye kurudi nyuma. Pili, wanapaswa kufahamu kuwa Tanzania itakuwapo baada ya wao na chama chao kuondoka. Pia wasome alama za nyakati na kubadilika. Tatu, waonywe kuwa wanachotaka kufanya licha ya kutokubalika ni kuhujumu umma ambao ndiyo wenye nchi na sauti juu ya ni namna gani watawaliwe. Tuhitimishe kwa kumshauri Kikwete awapuuze wanaotaka kumchafulia rekodi yake ya kuandika Katiba mpya. Tumpe mfano wa rais wa zamani wa nchi jirani ya Kenya, Mwai Kibaki ambaye aliliangusha taifa kwa kuiba uchaguzi lakini akalitoa mavumbini kwa kuandika katiba mpya kiasi cha kumpa nafasi maalumu na pekee kwenye historia ya Kenya kuliko hata waliomtangulia. CCM wanapaswa kujua kuwa hakuna akiba zaidi ya kisiasa kama kusoma alama za nyakati na kwenda na wakati. Kama wanadhani wanaweza kuendelea kuwalazimisha Watanzania jinsi ya kutawaliwa, waambiwe fika kuwa wanatenda kosa kubwa ambalo watalijutia siku si nyingi. Kikwete, hakikisha unamshinda shetani kwenye mchakato wa kupata katiba mpya ili nafasi yako katika historia ya taifa iwe marejeo ya kila wanazuoni na wachambuzi wa mambo. Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Sept., 18, 2013.

Kijiwe chashangaa mipasho ya Njaa Kaya

JAPO  siku zote Mpemba ni mtu wa utani na bashasha, leo kuna jambo limemtatiza. Maana alivyoingia akiwa na ndita usoni, si haba. Kuna jambo tena kubwa tu.
Anaingia akiwa anajifuta kijasho na kuamkua, “Asalaam alaykum jamia.” Wote tunajibu, “Alaykum wasalaamu.
Hakawii wala kungoja kuulizwa kilichomsibu. Anakwanyua mic right away, “Yakhe mmesikia hayo matusi ya nguoni tena nchana ya huyo mtu wenu?” “Yupi kaka mbona sikuelewi?” Anajibu Kapende.
Mpemba hazungushi, “Si huyo Njaa Kaya anayesema eti wale wote tusokubaliana na ahadi hewa, mihadarati, ufisi na ufisadi tutaja umbuka akimaliza. Au hamkusikia alipokuwa kule kwa kina Mipawa na Mijjinga akitamba?” “Alaa! Kumbe unaongelea jamaa aliyesema kuwa atakapokuwa ameondoka ulajini watu wasiokubaliana naye wataumbuka kwa vile anaona amefanya mambo makubwa?” Anajibu Kapende huku akibwia kahawa yake.
Msomi Mkatatamaa hakawii, anatia daruga na kuzoza, “Atakayeumbuka yeye. Hata hivyo, aumbuke mara ngapi iwapo kutaja wauza unga na kutaja mali zake vilishamuumbua zamani? Hivi huyu jamaa anadhani wachovu wote ni majuha kama wale aliojizungushia wakimsifia? Ana lipi la kujisifia iwapo kaya imejaa wauza unga, mafisadi, majambazi, wala rushwa na wahalifu wengine kila aina?” Bi Sofia Lion ambaye ndiyo alikuwa anaingia akiwa ametinga kimini kiasi cha kumfanya Mpemba amkate jicho huku akilalamika kuwa anamuondoa udhu alikamua mic, “Hivi tuseme mara ngapi muelewe kuwa mtukufu amefanya mambo mengi makubwa? Hivi hamuyaoni au hamna macho kama wapingaji ambao hupinga kila kitu?” Kanji anadandia mic kumpa tafu mkereketwa mwenzake. Anasema, “Kweli tukufu fanya mambo mingi sana. Ona amani, pendo, tajiri na tulivu kona yote.” Sofia kupata kampani anaamua kumwaga radhi tena, Kanji wapashe hawa wenye wivu wa kike wapashike. Hivi mlitaka awaletee pesa ya kula jamani?” Mgosi Machungi anaamua kujibu kwa utani, “Kwani si aliahidi maisha bora kwa sote. Hatikumlamisha. Yako wapi maisha boa iwapo kila mtu anajiibia atakavyo na asifanywe kitu?” “Kumbe hata wewe Chungi iba?” Kanji anatania.
“Kitoe hapa Kanji na kanungaembe kako haka ambako siku zote mnnatetea ujinga,” Anajibu Mijjinga huku akimkazia macho Kanji na kukwepa macho ya Sofia ambaye amenuna kuitwa kanungaembe.
Anaendelea, “Kuna siku nitawafanyie kitu mbaya msipoacha huu mchezo mbaya wa kutumiwa.” Kabla ya kuendelea, Mipawa anaamua kuchomekea, “Wanatumiwa vipi na kwanini wajirahisi kutumiwa tena vibaya mbona huko nyuma hawakuwa hivyo?” Mgosi Machungi ambaye alikuwa akichezesha saa yake anayojisifia kuwa ya bei mbaya aliamua kutia buti. “Jamani tiseme ukwei. Mimi nilimiona jamaa huyu kwenye uninga yangu ya bei mbaya jana usiku.” Kila mtu hana mbavu jinsi mgosi anavyojisifia kuwa na runinga.
Anaendelea wala hajali, “Nilimisikia akisema eti atavunja ekodi kwa kupeeka umeme vijijini na kujenga baabaa. Upuuzi mtupu. Umeme unaupeeka kwenye tembe huku ukijisifia kujenga baabaa ambazo zinabomoka hata kabla ya kuzinduiwa? Mbona kue kwetu Ushoto sijaona huo umeme?” Mzee Maneno anaamua kukwanyua mic na kudema kama hana akili nzuri, “Jamaa ameonyesha kutugwaya sisi tunaompa vipande vya kishua tukimshushua tusijue naye atatustua na kutushushua kwa kujisifu. Inaonekana hana kumbukumbu. Mara hii kasahau alivyoshindwa na kusema kuwa raha jipeni wenyewe? Sijui kama wachovu wanaweza kula huo umeme ukiachia mbali umeme wenyewe kuwa wa kulanguliwa na migawo.” Mbwa Mwitu anaamua kutupa kijembe, “Sijui kwanini bado mnataka awape raha wakati raha hana bali karaha kama EPA? Kama mnataka raha bwieni bwimbwi. Jamaa kisharuhusu na mkishakuwa mateja atawapa mwaliko mwenye kunywa naye chai.”   Msomi leo ana usongo sina mfano. Anaamua kurejea kwa kejeli, “Jamaa anajua kuwa alipiga mzigo uwe wa hovyo au vinginevyo who cares guys? Kweli wataumbuka wanaodhani kuwa barabara za kiwango cha lami lakini chini ya viwango ni mali kitu.” Mzee Kidevu anaamua kuchomekea, “Wachovu hawahitaji viwango na isitoshe huenda rahisi ajaye atazuia watu kufanya biashara ya miunga na kukwapua njuluku za kaya kiasi cha wanufaika kumkumbuka mtu wao. Nadhani aliongea kwa mafumbo akimaanisha hili.” Sofia aliyekuwa amenuna anaamua kujivuvumua na kumwaga pumba sorry pwenti, “Acheni roho mbaya. Mtukufu aliahidi maisha bora na kila mtu ana maisha bora ndiyo maana mnaweza kuja hapa kunywa kahawa bila kusikia milio ya risasi. Isitoshe kila mkoa sasa utafaidi umeme.” Anaongea akimtazama Mipawa.
Mipawa hajivungi. Ameipata na kuamua kujibu, “Ingekuwa ni amri yangu ningenyonga wapuuzi wote wanaosifiana. Huyu jamaa hana adabu. Yaani anakwendaga kwetu kutangazaga upupu eti ni mafanikio!
Msomi leo amepania. Anakwanyua mic, “Bi Sofi tuache utani. Kama ameleta maisha bora basi ni kwenu wakereketwa na waramba viatu lakini si kwa wote kama alivyoahidi. Maisha bora hata kama yanatokana na jinai kwa wote itakuwa ndoto ya mchana. Jinai haiwezi kuwa mkombozi wa wanyonge. Huenda amesema vile kwa vile anajua uchaguzi wa kuchakachua na takrima utakausha mshiko wa kaya kiasi chamaisha kuwa magumu zaidi. Hivyo serikali ijayo kuishia kubeba lawama zake.” Kabla ya kuendelea Machungi anachomekea, “Hata hivyo, tinampongeza kwa kutitonya mapema ili tujue la kufanya na kujiandaa kisaikoojia. Hata hivyo, mie naona hatitaumbuka isipokuwa yeye na sanaa zake na wenzake.” Anamalizia akiwatazama Kanji na Sofia.
Kuona jinsi kijiwe kilivyowasakama Kanji na Sofi wanaamua kuondoka bila kuaga. Mbwa Mwitu anawasindikiza kwa utani, “Kanji leo umeopoa siyo?” Kanji hajibu.
Mpemba naye anachomekea, “Huyo andanganya bi Sofi. Kama wenzake wakimuona naye watansusa wallahi. Maana hawa jamaa kwa ubaguzi sina hamu miye. Hawa wabagua kila kitu chetu isipokuwa vyakula na nyumba na pesa yetu.” Kijiwe kikiwa ndiyo kinanoga si mwenye nyumba wangu katokea!  Kwa vile nilikuwa nampiga chenga asiniumbue kutokana na kutolipa kodi ya ubavu wa mbwa, niliamua kujikata kama vile nakwenda msalani ili kisiumane. 
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Sept., 18, 2013.

Kikwete na watu wake na mambo yake

Kikwete anapomteua balozi wa heshima Ahmed Issa pichani na mkewe Julin wakati mtu mwenyewe hata hajulikani. Je ni kujuana, ukuadi, uzembe na ukosefu wa umakini, dili au vipi? Sitashangaa nikisikia siku moja amemteua Mohamed Gire wa Richmond kuwa balozi wa heshima. Huenda hawa marafiki wa Balali wana dili watakalolifanikisha la lala salama ya Kikwete.
Ni bahati mbaya kuwa bado Kikwete anakimbiza rekodi ya kuwa kiongozi wa kwanza duniani kuizunguka dunia bila kujali kuwa anaumiza walipa kodi. Hakika Kikwete hatakaa ajifunze ukiachia mbali kushabikia kuombaomba kunakomuwezesha kuzurura kila uchao.

When your leaders lead in evading tax

 

I waited for them to steadfastly and timely repudiate to no avail.  Therefore, I've decided to go on air awakening you about their sin. As we confab, please read this quote that’s reported on 11th August 2013. “Leaders evade taxes using the institutions they are connected to.” Apronius Mbilinyi from Economic and Social Research Foundation (ESRF) opens the can of worms for our rulers.

The researchers concluded that only 1.5 million Tanzanians out of 15 million potential taxpayers pay their taxes.

I want you to read this piece carefully and analyse it deeply instead of rummaning through. Again, I’m not trying to turn you into a sort of egg-headed.

I must state it from the outset that I've no malice against our leaders. However, if this is the way they lead, they must be told to their face that they’re betraying boozers. How can those who encourage boozers to pay tax for the development and the running of our hunk evade tax and still remain leaders but not looters? Now we know why they've nary liked to declare their wealth as they've always struggled to protect criminals instead of punishing the perpetrators of such sickening national sabotage. We now know why our hunk’s always cascaded economically so as the hiatus between the rich and poor to always skyrocket as our economy’s remains in the ICU save for periodical times when it performs well thanks to cooked statistics.

It’s sad to note that tax evasion isn't the only crime our biggies commit. Most of them, dubiously allocate all fertile jobs to their relations as it’s unearthed a few years ago whereby BoT had employed the sons and daughters of who’s who in the hunk. Our embassies abroad are full of the same vitegemezi of who's who in the hunk. Immigration, TRA, harbour, and wherever money can be easily printed and minted are occupied by the same. They're in the parliament, cabinet even in trade.

Do you still remember how one former president of Zenj’s alleged to have been behind tax evasion and smuggling? Since this scandal broke, the said big fish or call him a shark has nary repudiated the allegations. This means. He and his family are still doing business as usual. Do you remember how the family of Kimdunge Ngumbaru Mwiru ruined Ubungo Bus terminal for years and nothing has ever been done against it? What of BoT scandal of employing the children of vigogo? If our leaders would create EPA, SUKITA, Meremeta, Richmond, Kagoda, Mwananchi Gold, UDA scam, IPTL you name it, how could they stop evading tax? How can they stop from ruining the hunk if we’re told that only ten percent of eligible taxpayers are the only ones that pay tax? If the leaders are able to evade tax what of their agents known as investors?

What disturbs is the fact that almost all-money-making positions and opportunities are monopolized by this carbuncular gang of leaders.  Refer, for example, the scandal involving one nominated MP recently. It came to light that this venal woman MPig squeezed The Ngorongoro Conservation Area Authority (NCAA) which coughed out a cool ten million shilling this thief used to buy some desks she distributed to school in her constituency. It’s clear that such desks are the kickbacks to the voters thanks to the fact that the same criminal’s eyeing the said one constituency in the region in which she'll donate those desks come next general elections. Cathy Magige, are you thither? Huu ni ujambazi per se.

Dr Tito Kamati Busega (CCM) unpacks it nicely saying, “Politicians using their power have penetrated Unions and have corrupted them and the government has failed to take legal measures against them.” This is clear that the govt’s always window dressed corruption simply because those involved are ones of its. It has always dealt with flies as it ignores the tigers. Remind yourself of the accusatory statement by biggie Jake Kiquttte that cooperative unions are fully of thieves. Ironically, despite knowing this Kiquette didn't take any measures. Instead he was quoted a few days ago saying that his detractors will be humiliate to note that he did a ‘tremendous job’while in office. He’s quoted as saying ‘matumbuka’ namely you’ll have nowhere to hide your faces.

I know what Kiquttte meant. He knows that always after rigged and full of corruption elections the new government inherits a messy country socially and economically. This is true. For Kiquete’ll be compared with a screwed up regime he’ll have left behind just like Ben Nkapa did. He’s dead right. Thanks to the fact that every coming day for a Bongolalalander seems better than the previous one.

It's sad to note that Kiquette’s always ignored our problems. He’d nary dealt with his compatriots in his party who were alleged to have felled our elephants like Abid Kinamna, forgers, drug barons, those who vended our corporations and parastatals, those who robbed us in purchasing his presidential jet and a screwed up radar and whatnot. If this is the legacy Kiquette’s proud of, he truly is right. Essentially, Kiquette’s assertion must act as a warning that he’ll screw up the hunk and hit the road.  He boasted that he constructed many substandard roads and supplied reliable electricity in the hunk. Again, looking the money he spent on this project and the amount he allowed to be stolen, he’s nothing to boast about. Moreover, how’d boozers benefit while Kiquette allowed all of his courtiers to plunder as pleased? Umeme kwenye mabanda ya nyasi! Go tell it to the birds Jake.

Source: Thisday Sept., 15,2013.

Safu ya mlevi ni moja, wengine matapeli

 Walevi huwa tuna sifa na kanuni moja. Hatuna mila ya kuzunguka, kuzuga wala kumuogopa ngurumbili. Makala hii ni maalum kujibu uvivu wa kufikiri na ughushi nilioushuhudia kwenye chombo kimoja cha habari kinachochapishwa kila siku.

Kimebeba jina la safu hii. Hivi wameishiwa hivi kiasi cha kuiba hata jina la safu? Ushahidi, hilo `jizi’ linalojifanya kutumia jina la safu hii, linaficha hata jina lake. Shame on you! 
Natamani nimjue huyu kiumbe habithi na mchovu na mvivu wa kufikiri aliyeniibia akidhani atafika mbali.   
     Leo nina hasira sana  na isitoshe `nishautwika’ ili kutongoa haya ninayotongoa kwa utuo na msisitizo. Natamani nimkamate ngurumbili aliyeniudhi hata nimfanye asusa ya mbwa kama si fisi.
Fisadi wa kiakili na hana hata akili. Sikujua kuwa kumbe kuna walevi wa kuchongwa wanaofanya yasiyostahili bila aibu! Sikujua kuwa kuna watu wenye utasa wa mawazo na vichwa vinavyohara usaha.
Najua wasomaji wangu mnajiuliza: Mbona jamaa kaanza na gea ya hatari leo au mibangi imembangua kama si mibwimbwi kumbwimbwiza hadi akakosa uelekeo.
Chonde chonde watu wangu. Hakuna kitu kiliniudhi nusu ya kukaribia kupasuka kama kusoma safu yenye jina kama yangu kwenye gazeti la Mwakaya.  Baada ya kugundua hili, niliandika maoni ya kuonya utawala wa gazeti lakini hawakuyachapisha ingawa message was sent.
Yaani watu wamefirisika kiasi hiki au ni yale waingereza huita monkey see monkey do? Hivi inakuwaje baba au mama zima unafilisika upstair hadi unaiba safu ya mwenzio?
Kwa vile nimeishatambulisha mada ya leo ambayo itatuama kwenye walevi wachovu na wa kuchonga, naomba tuvumiliane. Nipe fursa niwashukie bila huruma kama vile mwewe ashukiavyo vifaranga.
Jamani, safu si sawa na majina mnayopewa kwenye dini zenu za mapokeo. Safu ni ubunifu, utukutu na ugwiji katika fani.
Siku zote mlevi ni adui na kiboko ya mafisadi kuanzia wale wa mjengoni waliochakachukua hoja ya katiba mpya, wale wa makanisani na misikitini wenye roho mtakakitu hadi wale wa kwenye kabineti walioghushi vyeti vya taaluma. Hawa ndiyo wabaya wangu wa asili. Kwa `kikameruni’ tunaitwa `sworn enemies’.
Hivi inakuwaje mhariri hata mmilki wa chombo cha umbea wa habari unakuwa na utasa na ukame wa mawazo, kiasi cha kuwalisha wasomaji wako pumba na upupu?
Kama mna shida ya majina ya safu si mseme tuwasaidie badala ya kuchonga safu ambazo nazo hazikidhi chochote kulingana na majina mnayoipa na kuyapachika kwenye safu hizi za mpapure?
Ukisikia ufisadi wa kiakili na kimaadili ndiyo huu. Hata kama kweli hakuna mwenye hati milki ya mawazo kwa watu wa mitaani, kwa wasomi kuiba wazo la mtu ni jambo baya sana si kwa aliyeibiwa tu bali hata kwa aliyeiba.
Maana ukiiba wazo unathitibisha wazi usivyo na ubongo unaofanya kazi. Unathibitisha unavyotumia masaburi badala ya kichwa. Je ni nani huyu anayejisifia kuiba kazi za wenzake?
Nikimjua ngurumbili huyu lazima nimfanyie kitu mbaya hata kama nikumshikisha, potelea mbali. Nina hasira.
Nimevuta mibangi yangu na kushushia na gongo ili nimshukie kiumbe huyu na wenzake waliompa uwanja wa kuonyesha ujinga na ujuha wake. Sina simile na tabia hii wala siombi msamaha kusema ninayosema.
Siku zote Hekaya za Mlevi zimejitenga na kujikomba, ubabaishaji na uganga njaa. Ndiyo maana akina Makidamakida na Job Nduguy kule mjengoni wakisoma vitu vyangu hukosa usingizi. Ndiyo maana mzee Pinder hungojea kujua ninachoandika kila jumamosi.
Kuonyesha hawa walevi feki mnaopaswa kuwaepa kama ukoma na ukimwi walivyoishiwa kulhali eti wamepanga safu yao ya kuchongwa itoke ijumaa, siku moja kabla ya safu yenyewe orijinali ili kuwazuga wasomaji.
You are dead wrong my enemies. Hamtampata mtu kwa vile wapenzi wa safu hii wanajua fika kuwa I am the one and only boozer who can squeeze anything out of anybody. Again, this is a too-often ignored token. Indeed, I am a man of my own.
Wasomaji wangu wanajua vitu vyangu. Wanajua vya kuchonga na original. Hii ndiyo maana msomaji wangu mmoja alinitwngia email kuuliza kama ni mimi naandika kwenye gazeti la mwanakaya.
Baada ya kushuku kuna mchezo mchafu, msomaji huyu aliamua kunitonya akishangaa kuona mapishi ya kule mbona yanapwaya. Nilimjibu kuwa jibu analo. Mie siandiki vitu vya kuigiza wala kuunga unga kama wasomi wa kughushi. Naandika vitu vinavyoingia akilini.
Kama kuna aliyewahi kubahatika kusoma vitabu vyangu vya ‘saa ya ukombozi’, ‘wanyama wetu’, ‘nyuma ya pazia’ au ‘kwetu ni wapi’  na machapisho yangu mengine atakubaliana nami kuwa sizungushi wala kumung’unya, kuigiza wala ku-copy vya watu na ku-paste kama walivyofanya hawa walevi uchwara wa kuchongwa. May you perish!
Hawa wanaoiba maandiko na majina ya safu za wenzao hawana tofauti nah yule nguruwe wa kwenye kitabu changu cha watoto cha Wanyama Wetu.
Sina haja ya kufumba na kufunga nyama. Walichofanya hawa jamaa ni kibaya sana kiasi cha kunipa kibali kumtoa mtu roho kama nitamnyaka. Na wana bahati. Kama si da Flo kunizuia nisifanye kitu mbaya ningeisha wa-al qaida hawa jamaa kama siyo kuwa-al shabaab mchana kweupe.
Hata hivyo, ni ukweli usiopingika. Mlevi original ni mmoja tu. Ni mimi mwenyewe na ninaishi kwenye nchi moja tu Kanada.
Anayependa au kuchukia hili afanye lakini huo ndiyo ukweli mweupe unaotelewa mchana kweupe. Ni bahati mbaya hawa wanaodandia madudu yangu hawajui kuwa nimeyabukua na kuyafundisha kwa muda mrefu. 
Chanzo: Nipashe Jumamosi Sept,. 14, 2013.

Ushirikina wa wazungu

Pamoja na kuita mila zetu za kishenzi na kishirikina, wazungu nao bado ni washirikina hasa ukiangalia baadhi ya mambo kama vile sikukuu ya Haloween na jinsi wanavyoogopa namba kama vile 13 na 666. Kwa habari zaidi hebu BONYEZA HAPA.

Je wamjua samaki huyu?

Kwa kimombo anaitwa Blobfish. Sijui kwa kishwahili anaitwaje. Ndiye kiumbe mwenye kutisha kuliko wote duniani. Hata hivyo anakabiliwa na tishio la kutoweka kutokana na uvuvi holela.

Je waweza kuamini kuwa binti huyu alimuua mumewe kwenye honeymoon?

 
Kisa cha kweli kimetokea nchini Marekani ambapo mwanamke Jordan Linn Graham aliamua kumuua mpenzi wake kwa kumsukumiza kwenye bonde wakiwa matembezini kwenye honeymoon yao. Ni kitu cha ajabu. Je inakuwaje wauaji kama hawa wanapendwa na kupata nafasi ya kutekeleza ushetani wao? Kwa habari zaidi BONYEZA HAPA.

ICC who has no sin should be be the first to cast a stone

Although I believe not in the Bible, I like some of its wisdom. John 8:7 says, “He who is without sin among you can cast the first stone at her,” Jesus was responding to a mob justice that brought a woman accused of adultery. He wanted to assassin the tendency of better than thou among Jews.

 

Recently, some quarters in Africa proved to act as those Jews in Jesus’ story. Some are now accusing the International Criminal Court (ICC) of racism, selectivity and targeting black leaders. Is ICC really targeting anybody or it‘s doing its work?  A couple of current and former African rulers are facing charges before the ICC. Indicted are two sitting presidents, Omar Bashir (Sudan) and Uhuru Kenyatta (Kenya) and one sitting deputy president William Ruto. Two former presidents have already been shaven.  Charles Taylor (Liberia) has already been convicted while Laurent Gbagbo (Ivory Coast) is behind bars waiting for his cases to be heard and determined. Suspects along with wannabe suspects and desperados are giving ICC bad name accusing it of racism and targeting African rulers.  Bashir is charged along with his two lieutenants Ally Kushayb and Ahmed Haroun. Actually, those people do not advance any legal and logical arguments. Instead they’re hollering and politicizing ICC through duping their people to support their evil plot.

 

Other African indictees are Ugandan fugitive Lord Resistance Army (LRA) leader Joseph Kony along with his lieutenants and other rebel leaders from Darfur, DRC and  the son of former Libyan strong man, Saif al Islam Gaddafi to mention but a few.

 

In the one hand, ICC has already confirmed charges against African who’s who while in the other hand  it has already dismissed other cases involving Africans such as Henry Kosgey, Mohamed Husssein (Kenya), Bahr Idris Abu Garda (Sudan) and Calixte Mbarushimana (Rwanda). Also ICC has already acquitted other Africans such as Mathieu Ngudjolo Chui (DRC). So too, ICC convicted Thomas Lubanga Dyilo (DRC).

 

Yes. Looking at the above mentioned people, it is true they’re all Africans. Again, were they charged because they’re Africans or just because they’re accused of committing crimes ranging from rape, crimes against humanity, genocide and what not? Interestingly, their countries sued them before ICC. It is important to underscore that ICC is a legally enacted instrument to deal with legal but not political matters. One would think: Those accusing the ICC would produce logical evidence to prove their assertion. Instead, they’re making rumpus unnecessarily.

 

          Recently Rwanda and Uganda led the choir of taking shots at the ICC. When this happened many asked one major question: Why now not when African countries willingly and knowledgeably consented to and ratified the Rome Statute? Were they forced or duped into consenting and ratifying the same? Didn't they know what they were doing? Did they know what they’re doing save they didn't know what would be the impacts of the ICC? Isn't this double standard in the first place?

 

 Rwanda’s Justice Minister Johnston Busingye was recently quoted as saying, “Africa seems to be taking the lion’s share of the ICC, for example, in the last one decade or so. So our position has really been this kind of justice is selective, and we do not want to have international justice being used as a tool, or being perceived as a tool to control Africa,” I concur with Busingye that Africa took a lion share in committing crimes. Is this ICC’s fault? The whole world knows that Africa has a big chunk of conflict globally.

Peter Kagwanja, Kenya senior counsel was quoted by Al Jazeera saying that Kenyans feel humiliated for their leaders to be indicted. Hogwash! ICC is not an ambulance chaser or a psychic to conjure upon who’ll offend and who won’t.  By the way, Kenyan MPs who are hollering now are the one to blame. They used to say: Don’t be vague say Hague. So too, they’d stop being vague. They’d stay in The Hague.

 

It is sad to see people we thought to be of integrity such as Ethiopian Premier, Haile Mariam Desalegn jumping into the bandwagon of desperation. Desalegn was, in May, quoted as saying, “The process ICC is conducting in Africa has a flaw. The intention was to avoid any kind of impunity and ill governance and crime, but now the process has degenerated into some kind of race hunting.” Again, who is hunting who if African countries took their cases before the ICC?

 

Stephen Musau, chair of the Rights Promotion and Protection Center in Kenya however has the answer as to why African countries should not complain but instead put their houses in order. He was quotes as saying, “The failure is what led us to the ICC and that failure cannot be blamed on Kenyans. It is the state machinery, which failed to show the way in terms of how we deal with these issues and because we failed in that, we are supporting the ICC.”

We need to be honest with ourselves, examine our  fall and embark on true democracy entrenched on Human Rights, justice and rule of law. 

Source: African Executive Magazine Sept., 11, 2013.

Eti watanibana hadi niwataje wauza bwimbwi

NIKIWA nadhani yamekwisha kumbe ndiyo yanaanza! Baada ya kuwayeyusha wanywa kahawa kwa sanaa za kutaja wauza bwimbwi na kutoka zangu mkuku baada ya kunizomea nilidhani mambo yamekwisha. Sikujua kumbe ngoma ndiyo inaanza yarabi!
Naona Mijjinga anaingia akiwa na gazeti lake la Danganyika Daima. Anavyoonekana kwa hesabu za haraka haraka ni kama ana maya nami.
Hajiungi. Anaanza: “Mheshimiwa Mpayukaji juzi hukututendea haki. Yaani uaahidi ungemwaga tama halafu unaishia kujikanyaga na kuufyata kama Daktari Mwakiwembe na Bill Lukuvi! Mbona huko nyuma hukuwa hivi nini kimekusibu ndugu yangu?”
Mgosi Machungi hangoji nijitetee. Anakwanyua mic: “Muishiwa, soe, mhishimiwa Mpayukaji tilikuwa tinakuheshimu lakini sasa naona kama tilifanya makosa.”
Ili kumtia mkwara naamua kuchimba mkwara: “Mgosi tuheshimiane. Usitake nawe nikuchukie kama Mijjinga aliyenilinganisha na hao wababaishaji wakubwa. Yaani mgosi umefikia mahali unanilinganisha na hao waishiwa wazi wazi! Shame on you!”
Kutokana na mkwara niliomchimbia Kanji kuwa ningemtaja yeye, anaamua kunitetea kinamna, anakwanyua mic: “Gosi Chungi hapana sumbua Payukaji.” Ananigeukia na kunitazama na kusema: “Hishimiwa Payukaji sasa taja Chungi kama yeye ona taja uza bimbi rahisi.”
“Subutu! Hata akinitaja haitamsaidia. Kwani mimi nina nini kama ushahidi? Sina ghoofa wala shangingi zaidi ya bi mkubwa wangu. Kanji tiheshimiane.” Mgosi anachimba mkwara naye.
Kanji kuona hivyo anaamua kuchomoa kinamna. Anasema: “Chungi veve elewa baya mimi. Mimi tania tu.”
Mgosi haridhiki. Akiwa amechukia baada ya kutupa kipisi cha sigara kali yake anasema, “Kama utani isinitanie. Nenda utanie akina Mwakiembe, Lukuvie na mkuu wanaoogopa kutaja wauza unga na mali zao za wizi.”
Msomi hajivungi. Anampa Mipawa gazeti kwa vile alikuwa amelikodolea mimacho na kuendelea: “Jamani let’s be a little bit serious. Hivi mlitegemea hawa wasanii wangewataja wauza bwimbwi halafu wao wawe salama?
Hili la mkuu kutaja mali zake au kuwashughulikia watu wake wanaouza unga mie nshalikatia tamaa. Nani amtaje nani wakati wote ni kambale? You know what I mean. Au siyo?”
Kapende ambaye alikuwa akibofya bofya kisimu chake anaamua kutia guu: “Wazee, japo huwa simpendi mzee Kimdunge Ngumbaru Mwehu, pamoja na kupinga kauli yake kuhusu Muunganiko, namuunga mkono alipomtolea uvivu Lukuvie kuwa ataje majina ya wauza bwimbwi hata kama na bosi wake yumo.”
Msomi anaamua kurejea: “It needs the courage of the mad to say what mzee Kimdunge said.
Muhimu ni kwamba, kama alivyosema Philip Zembardo: Kuna kipindi watu wanaodhaniwa kuwa wa maana hufanya vitu vya hovyo. Niliisoma hii wakati nikifanya PhD yangu isiyo ya kughushi.”
Kabla ya kuendelea mzee Maneno anaingilia: “Msomi naona leo una hasira sana hadi unaongea ukameruni mtupu ukijua fika wengine shule haipandi.”
Msomi anagundua kosa lake na kuomba msamaha na kuendelea: “Kwa ufupi ni kwamba inahitaji roho ya mwendawazimu kusema aliyosema Kimdunge. Maskini, sijui ni kutokana na uzee au usanii. Amesahau kuwa chama chake kilikatwa masikio na mafisadi miaka mingi iliyopita. Anataka watajane bila kujua kuwa sera yao ni kulindana?”
“Hichi kibabu kinafiki. Kimesahaugi kuwa hao hao wanaowalindaga wauza unga ndiyo hao hao waliolindaga ufisadi wa mke wake pale alipohujumu kituo kikuu cha mabasi cha Ubungo?” Anachomekea Mipawa.
Sofia Lion, huyu ni mwanakijiwe ambaye huja na kupotea, anaamua kumwaga itikadi: “Kusema kuwa Kimdunge ni mnafiki ni kumkosea adabu. Hizi tuhuma za mkewe mpelekee mkewe na isitoshe kama kuna mwenye ushahidi apeleke Takokuu badala ya majungu.”
Kapende anamponda Bi Sofia kwa kusema: “We mama ninakuheshimu. Unataka kumdanganya nani eti tupeleke ushahidi Takokuru? Tangu lini mbwa akamng’ata aliyemfuga? Kama ni siasa zako uchwara na za kisanii wafanyie kina mama wenzio si sisi.”
Bi Sofia siku zote ni mbishi kweli kweli. Hakubali. Anakatua mic: “Kwanini nyinyi watu hamna shukurani jamani? Yaani juhudi zinazofanywa na mtukufu rais hamzioni?” “Juhudi gani?” anauliza Msomi kwa mshangao.
Sofia anajibu: “Hivi hamkusikia kuwa ameleta mwekezaji toka Oman kuja kupambana na unga pale Uwanja wa Ndege wa Mwalimu, mnaishi dunia gani?”
Mpemba aliyekuwa kimya akitafuna kahawa yake anaamua kuingilia: “Weye bibi usitake kuntibua miye. Wewe wadhani kwa kuleta huyu mmanga ndovu wetu watapona ukiachia mbali unga kuendelea kupitishwa kihalali?”
Huku akionesha kebehi ya wazi, Msomi anasema: “Ameleta muarobani eeh! Loliondo nyingine hii.”
Baada ya bi Sofia kuona maji yanazidi unga anaamua kujikata kisilesi. Anasema: “Kumbe niliacha chungu mekoni! Ngoja niwahi nisije unguza mboga.”
Mbwamwitu hamkawizi. Anamsindikiza kwa kejeli: “Ushaunguza kaunguza na hiyo mboga ya mumeo.” Sofia hajibu. Anatokomea kwa aibu.
Baada ya bi Sofi kujikata kinoma, Mijjinga anaendelea kuning’ang’ania. Anasema: “Mzee Mpayukaji, wanene wameshindwa kutajaga basi wewe tajaga.”
Anaendelea kwa utani, “Tutakuminya hadi utaje.”
Kupoteza mada naamua kumjibu: “Mtaanzia wapi kuniminya? Nenda kawaminye kina Mwakiembe na Lukuvie woga lakini si mimi.”
Kanji ambaye ashaanza kuniogopa anaamua kujipendekeza: “Hapana minya Payukaji. Taumiza yeye bure.” “Basi tutakuminya wewe utaje wenzio,” anasema Mijjinga.
“Hapana minya mimi, iko innocent dugu yangu. Sisi sote dugu moja, hapana haja minyana minyana.” Kanji anajitetea. Kijiwe hakina mbavu jinsi Kanji anavyobukanya Kiswahili na hofu yake ya kuminywa.
Msomi kama kawaida yake anataka kuokoa jahazi. Ananigeukia na kusema: “Hebu mheshimiwa Mpayukaji tupe ukweli. Je, unayajua majina ya wauza bwimbwi au nawe ulitaka kutufanyia majaribio ya siasa za sanaa kama wale?”
Nami simkawizi. Nampa laivu: “Kwani wewe huwajui wauza unga?” Nauliza nikiwa namtazama Kanji ambaye anatoa mimacho kwa hofu kuwa huenda nitamtaja.
Kanji anaamua kujitetea: “Naona angalia mimi dugu yangu. Siminye mimi hapana uza bimbi. Mimi uza guo na spea parts bwana.”
Mijjinga hafichi uchu wa kutaka kujua majina ya wauza bwimbwi. Anasema: “Heri tuminyane majina yatajwe kuliko kuminyiana yakaishia kapuni.”
Kijiwe kikiwa kinapamba moto, si kunguru alinaswa na umeme na kusikika sauti ya mlipuko mkubwa. Acha kila mtu akitoe kuokoa roho yake!
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Sept.,11, 2013.

Bongolalaland Bongo Bongo land boondoggle

 

It’s out of question. Our hunk’s become what British people call Bongo Bongo land (Bongo-bongo land) or screwed- up country. However, our all-time-lying politicos tell us that we’re in tiptop shape (maybe 'nihilistically').  Our hunk went to dogs when Mzee Mchonga vacated the office. When’s it? Don’t ask me.  What’s obvious is that it’s when boozers were subjected to all sorts of experiments. Guinea pigs you may call them. Or experimental objects for a bunch of swindlers posed as leaders and other good names.

 

For example, looking at how our hunk’s passports are sold like peanuts, it’s obvious that we’re becoming Bongo Bongo land. Hearing how some crooks from countries prone to con use our passport to defecate on our good name, I feel like committing suttee. Again, where do they get them from? Simple, homemade-hyena-like officials vend our passports just like those vending our minerals and parastatals. Mzee wa Vijisenti Endelea Chenge, Bassie Pesatatu Mrambaramba, are you there? What of mzee wa Buzwagi Mr Ni zero Kadamage?

 

Corruption and selfishness have caused many boozers to be left out and to be left behind in chewing the national cake. It’s even scandalous to note that foreigners can easily eat our cake compared to boozers.  I was offended the other day when I heard Oman investor boosting that he’ll beef up security at Mwl Mchonga International Bwimbwi Airport.  The first striking and agonizing question was: How do you hand over such a sensitive facility to a foreigner and stay safe? You know what? The guy who answers to the name sheikh so&so Abid… shamelessly said that he’s invited by his friend, Prezzo Jake Kiquette whom he said he’s helping through investing in Mwl Mchonga Airport! Kwani hii kaya ya mama yake? Sacrilegious as it sounds, nobody came to recant such irresponsible hogwash!  Remembering how Oman featured high in Loliondo scandal, my crystal ball tells me that our elephants won’t be safe anymore. Add the just recent Qatari involvement in smuggling live wild animals and their products out through KIA, chances are we’re going to be losers big time.

 

What’s more, the guy said that’s invited by prezzo. This means that he didn’t win the tender. Simply put it this way: This sheikh so and so won the project through what we call technical know-presider. Again, if this guy is presider’s buddy, do you think he’ll obey our laws or his buddy? If I were Jake, I’d just tell the boozers that I've failed them miserably and I no longer have the authority morally and politically to rule them.  Kama kaya imewashinda si mseme tu.

 

Wait. What do you expect to call the hunk whose minerals are stolen every second? We've been hollering about this. They've always denied. We last week got a breakthrough after admitting that over 13 billion dosh worth of minerals were retrieved from illegal capital freighters. What do you expect from a failed hunk where illegals come and live for years up till their home countries assault Mr. Presider who decided to revenge by expelling them over night? How do you expel the guys who've lived in your hunk for almost a half century over night? Where were you when they arrived? Why today after having some bad blood with their potentates? Why shouldn't we call this move a blatant revenge? Sadly though, such revenge’s branded a hunk’s interest!  I’m not trying to be a devil’s advocate. Again, looking at megalomania between two honchos, I feel like we’re taken for a ride pointlessly.

 

Instead of attacking even addressing our stunted development, our rulers are at daggers drawn. They shamelessly think it’s kind of cool for them to serve their egos on the expenses of boozers.

 

Let’s move ahead with more boondoggling stuff of our hunk. I read one tabloid accusing some magistrates, judges even the Director of Public Provocation (DPP) for abetting drug barons. Names were named. Again who bothers to interfere in their ways of minting and printing dosh? I read names such as of corrupt judges U-love Msuya, so-and-so Msangi and magistrate so-and-so Msongo who’s always loaded it over the judiciary refusing to be transferred to Lindi where there are no drug deals. These aren't judges but judas.

 

By all account, what some populists call war against drugs is but charade. Take it from me. How can you fight drugs by nabbing dagaas as you remain in bed with sharks? Don’t tell me that we don’t have responsible, accountable and patriotic boozers who can man our facilities such as Mwl Mchonga International Airport, judiciary and intelligence.  If this is the case, even those in the state white house are the same. Essentially, what’d be done is just wipe out the current corrupt system and establish another responsible one.  The hunk’d depend on sound system instead of depending on investors like Sheikh so and so Abid….

 

If all boozers are corrupt through and through, do you think Mr. Presider will be an exception to the general rule? Go tell it to the birds. He’s as corrupt as others. Remember how he’s accused of using EPA money robbed from BoT to ascend to power? Has he ever bothered to recant, repudiate or explain? Why? Even chicks know why? He who lives in glass house shouldn't throw stones. Again, who’ll heed my call if at all much time is spent on junket days in days out?

Source: Thisday Sept., 9, 2013.

The Day Aussie Spoke

Mlevi ashukia `waishiwa` wezi na Foundations zao

Juzi wakati nikipita-pita kwenye mitandao na maeneo mengine ambapo ‘nyuzi’ huwa si siri, ‘niliinyaka’ ya mama mmoja mwizi muishiwa wa Chama Cha Mafisadi (CCM). Msichanganye hii CCM na ile inayowatawala. Sitaki shari bwana.
Nilinasa ‘kimemo’ cha ‘muishiwa msukule’ au wa kupendelewa aitwaye Catherine Magigez.
Alihomola madafu milioni kumi kwenda kununua madawati ayatoe kama takrima mkoani analotaka kugombea ‘uhishimiwa’ ili aibe zaidi.
Je, huyu si ‘kibaka wa kisiasa’ anayetumia cheo kujipatia ‘mafweza’ na kuhonga wapika kula ya kura? Wajua alichoraje `mchongo’ wake?
Simple, you just create a bogus foundation and go to government offices asking for dosh for development.
Yaani `kimakonde’ ni kwamba unaanzisha wakfu mfu na uchwara na kwenda kwenye ofisi za `lisirikali’ na kuomba msaada wa `njuluku’ ili, ima kuchangia maendeleo, au kutoa msaada. Utapeli mtupu!
Kama huna kitu hadi unaombaomba unawezaje kuleta maendeleo au kutoa msaada gani, kama siyo utapeli uchwara kama tunavyoushuhudia kila uchao?
Wewe mwenyewe ukiitwa msaada unaitika utatoa msaada kwa jeuri na `njuluku’ ipi? Yaani hamtumii hata chembe akili!  Shame on you!
Nilishastukia Wakfu au Foundations zenu. Hamna tofauti na ile kampuni ya Bi- Mkubwa ya MAWAWA yaani Maulaji ya Wake za Wakubwa.
Kila siku utamsikia Bi-Mkubwa msaka ngawira, mama Tamaa, akizurura kila kona ya dunia, akisaka misaada iishiayo mfukoni mwake kwa kisingizio cha kuwasaidia akina mama.
Unawasaidia akina mama au wanakusaidia kupata fedha za haraka kitapeli? Kwani hiyo wizara ya akina mama na watoto kazi yake ni nini?
Huu ni ujambazi mbuzi unaofanywa na walaji wetu, wake zao marafiki hata watoto wao.  Siku hizi Foundations au Wakfu mfu ni biashara inayoingiza fedha sana.
Hakuna siku nilipocheka kama Bi-Mkubwa fulani fisadi alipoteuliwa kwenye ulaji wa ubalozi kule ng’ambo.
Bibi huyu aliyesaidia ‘dili’ la Richmonduli kama mwanasharia, alipogundua kuwa mumewe hakuwa na kibarua ughaibuni, aliaamua kumuundia Foundation iliyoitwa Maajali Foundation.
Yeye na mumewe walianza `kuwashobokea’ wafadhili kama ilivyo mazoea ya waswahili wasiopenda kujigemea.
Walipata ‘mshiko’ kwa kisingizio cha kupeleka madawati kwa wanafunzi. Mlevi hakuacha kujiuliza. Kama unapenda sana elimu si ungepinga ujambazi wa Richmonduli?
Je, fedha za Richmonduli zingenunua madawati mangapi, tena bila kuombaomba na kuidhalilisha kaya yetu kama si utapeli na upunguani?
Kama unapenda wanawake na watoto, kwanini kutomshauri mumewe aache sera na siasa za kibabaishaji kama kuingia mikataba `fweki’ ya uchimbuzi wa midini na utoaji wa `minishati’?
Je, hiyo ‘fweza’ ingekomboa akina mama wangapi na watoto? Tumieni akili badala ya `masaburi’.
Kama unawapenda wanawake na watoto kwanini usipunguze kuzurura? Kama unapenda elimu kwa akina mama kwanini wewe ni `kihiyo’ usiyependa kutumia fursa iliyopo kujiendeleza ili uwe role model kwa hao akina mama zako na watoto wa kike?
Nikiwa nakata ‘kanywaji’, maswali mengi yalizidi kuniijia. Kama mnapenda elimu kama huyu mwizi muishiwa alivyofanya, kwanini mnaiua huku mkisomesha vitegemezi vyenu nje ya kaya yetu?
Kwa taarifa yenu, siku nikikutana na vitegemezi vyenu ughaibuni nitawapigia FBI wavipeleke Guantanamo kwa kosa la ugaidi wa kuangamiza walevi kielimu.
Hivi mgependa na kuthamini elimu mngegushi shahada na vyeti kweli? Hebu waulize akina Bill Lukuvison, Emmy Nchimbison, Makorongo Mahangason, Balozi Deodorusius Kamalason, Marry Nagudaughter na wengine walioghushi walivyopata shahada zao?
Kwa vile wakubwa zetu wameonyesha `kaungonjwa’ ka-kupenda PhD na `madude’ mengine makubwa, nina mpango wa kuanzisha dhehebu la dini na kuliita PhD yaani Prophecy, Healing and Deliverance au Utume, Uponyaji na Ukombozi (U3) ambalo litalenga maadui wakubwa watatu yaani Ukihiyo, Ufisadi na Utapeli hasa wa kughushi.
Hebu nimpashe huyu mama anayejifanya kupenda sana wanawake na watoto wakati hawapendi bali kuwahadaa. Mama mpenda haki za akina mama na watoto hasa elimu, kamwambie mumeo awatimue basi hao walioghushi.
Thubutu wakuchome kwa vile wanajua `madudu’ yako na hata ya huyo mumeo waliyemgeuza mateka kwa vile wanajua chafu yake.
Ngoja nimpashe hata huyu `muishiwa’ wa viti vya msukule aliyekwapua `njuluku’ zetu kule Ngorongorongo Conservation Area Authority (NCAA).
Kama unapenda sana elimu si ukasomee ualimu au ukafanye kazi ya kubwia vumbi la chaki, badala ya kukimbilia Mjengoni kupata posho ya mkao usio halali?
Huna aibu `kibaka we muishiwa’. Ungependa elimu ungeibia walevi au ungevumbua kitu lau uwaneemeshe?
Kaya yetu imegeuka shamba la chizi. Hii ni baada ya kuharibikiwa zaidi ya shamba la bibi. ‘Mijitu’ inajiita ‘mihishimiwa’ wakati ni miishiwa.
Hivi ni kuishiwa kiasi gani kwa ‘muishimiwa’ kwenda kwenye taasisi za umma akiombaomba? Au ni kwa vile ‘lisirikali’ lake nalo linaishi kwa kubomubomu ughaibuni?
Kwanini msibadili jina la kaya na kuwa Matonyaland au Ombaombaland? Ikizidi ikipungua basi ipe jina zuri la Bwimbwiland kama si Fisadiland or Venaland, hata Chiziland laweza kufaa kama mambo ya ‘kijichizi’ na ‘kijuha’, yanafanyika na hakuna anayestuka wala kuchukua hatua.
Kama si kuogopa kutukana mie ningependelea iitwe Goonland kama siyo Zombiland. Maana ukiangalia hata wizi mwingine wala wanaoufanya hawatumii hata chembe ya akili zaidi ya ‘masaburi’.
Ukiangalia huyu ‘muishiwa’ kibaya yaani Magigez na Foundation  yake utacheka. Eti aliomba apewa madafu milioni kumi toka NCAA, wakati nao walikuwa wakilililia ‘lisirikali’ kuwa bajeti yao haitoshi.
Ajabu baada ya NCAA kubanwa mbavu na wakubwa, ikatoa hiyo fedha wakati yenyewe ilikuwa na hali ngumu ya ‘ki-njuluku’.
Kama si ujambazi wa mchana unaofanywa na ‘wahishimiwa’ waishiwa ni nini? Siku hizi ukitaka kutajirika haraka au kuukwaa ‘uhishiwa’, uza ‘mibwimbwi’, anzisha foundation, uwe msanii, jipendekeze kwa Nambari Wahedi au jifanye mkereketwa wa maendeleo na haki za akina mama vijana na watoto.
Ila mjue.  Mmekalia bomu kwa kuwateketeza walevi. Siku wakizinduka, msinilaumu kuwa sikusema.  You betcha. Chanzo: Nipashe Jumamosi Sept., 7, 2013.

Taifa la mambo feki na mitumba

Hivi karibuni kumezuka uoza wa hali ya juu katika nchi yetu. Tumeshuhudia kukamatwa kwa askari wa traffic feki, wamilki feki wa sare za polisi na sasa daktari feki. Tuna mfumo feki. Tuna mawaziri na wabunge na wafanyakazi wengine wa umma feki. Tuna sera feki na hata taarifa zinazotolewa na serikali mara nyingi ni feki. Hivyo, si uzushi wala matusi kusema kuwa sasa tuna taifa la kila kitu feki kuanzia bidhaa hadi watu. Katika kitabu changu cha KWETU NI WAPI nawaita watu wetu na mambo yao vya mitumba. Uongozi mtumba unaoishi kwa kuomba omba na kula masalia, watu mitumba wanaofanyiwa umitumbamitumba na uongozi mitumba. Na sasa tuna taifa la mitumba kiakilli na kulhali. Je nani atatuokoa na janga hili?

Kumbe Sugu sugu kweli!

Mheshimiwa mbunge wa Mbeya Mjini Joseph Mbilinyi aka Mr. Sugu akionyesha usugu na sugu yake wakati akitolewa mjengoni kindakindaki. Ukishangaa ya Kikwete utaona ya Sugu. Ukishangaa ya Makinda utaona ya Ndugai.

Mpayukaji kuwaanika wauza bwimbwi hadharani

BAADA ya lisirikali kukiri kuwa lina majina ya wauza bwimbwi lakini halitaki kuwataja kwa vile wengine ni wahishimwa, mzee mzima nataka niweke wazi majina ya vigogo wa dawa za kulevya.
Hivyo, wazee wamewahi kuja kusikia majina ya madingi wa bwimbwi. Mioyo inawadunda kweli kweli. Kwa vile wananiamini, wanaamini sitafanya kama yule waziri aitwaye Bill Likuvi aliyesema eti wanaogopa kutaja kwa vile wengi wa watajwa ni wahishimiwa.
Woga mtupu na kulindana. Mshindwe na kuangamia kabla hamjatuangamiza na tamaa na roho mbaya zenu. Naomba Mungu azidi kuwapa miwaya na ugonjwa wa moyo ili nanyi muangamie kama mnavyoangamiza vijana wetu. Aaamina.
Uzuri mie siogopi hili wala lile kwa vile watuhumiwa wangu si wanakijiwe bali wahishimiwa tena wakubwa sana.
Hata wangekuwa wanakijiwe mie ningepayuka tu. Hata angekuwa ni Sir God mie ningemwaga mtama. Eti liwaziri hili linasema eti wanaogopa kutaja majina kwa vile hawajakusanya ushahidi wa kutosha. Tell it to the birds.  Mgeambiwa wana mpango wa kupindua mngekuwa na cha kungoja au msalie mtume bali kukamata?
Mpemba anaamua kutupa sumbwi la kwanza baada ya kuona nimeingia na magazeti yangu nakuendelea kusoma bila kutaja. Anasema: “Yakhe mie nchukia sirikali hasa mkuu wallahi. Wasema wana majina ya wauza unga lakini wagoma kutaja? Yakhe huu ubabaishaji wa hali ya juu ati.”
Kuona kama ananisimanga, naamua kumpa live. “Ami huna haja ya kuwalaumu kwa kutotaja. Kama unayo majina si utaje wewe kwanza au unangoja kutajiwa hata watu unaowajua?
Kwani huwaoni hao unaotaka niwataje? Mbona kwenye daladala unapanda nao kila siku na humuulizi kapata wapi mibwimbwi kwani siri?”
“Mie nijuao si vigogo bali dagaa, vinginevyo wangekuwa vigogo nshataja ati.” Anajitetea.
Mijjinga anaamua kuingilia kati: “Kwani hao dagaa si wauza unga mami? Kama unawajua wewe tajaga tutajuaga kigogo na fito wasikilizaji.”
Mgosi kuona wazee wanaanza kutoana macho wenyewe kwa wenye anaamua kunivaa kinomanoma: “Wagosi hatina haja ya kuandikia mate wakati wino upo.”  Kabla ya kuendelea ananigeukia na kusema: “Mgosi Mpayukaji si ulisema kuwa leo titaambiwa majina ya wauza unga. Tafadhai basi taja walau tiende tikawatie madole kama si mangumi.”
Kabla ya kuendelea, Mbwa Mwitu anaingilia: “Unasema eti muwatie madole wauza bwimbwi? Thubutu! Si watakakuua kabisa?”
Msomi Mkatatamaa baada ya kuona Mbwa Mwitu anaendelea na utani anaamua kuweka guu, “Mzee.” Ananiangalia huku akitabasamu, “Basi tupe habari kuhusiana na wauza bwimbwi au nawe unataka ufanye kama mkuu mwenyewe ambaye amekalia orodha kwa miaka saba?”
Naamua kujitetea: “Mie si kama huyo ila msinighasi kana kwamba mnanidai ati.”
Mipawa kachukia kaamua kutia buti. “Nkwinga usitake kutuchanganyaga. Kama huwajui huna haja ya kutuwekaga roho juu. Au wamekukatia kitu kidogo na kikubwa ukaamua kuwa kama wale wanaowatetea na kuficha orodha zao?”
“Mipawa tuheshimiane. Kwanza niombe msamaha kwa kunilinganisha na mafisi na mafisadi wasio na huruma wala akili zaidi ya kutumia masaburi.”
Nafoka huku nikimtazama Mipawa kwa hasira.
Kanji kapata pa kushika: “Sasa kama veve jua hao uza unga kwanini hapana taja? Sasa ona vatu naanza chukia na kosea veve heshima.”
Kuona maji yanazidi unga naamua kujitetea zaidi, “Mbona mna haraka hivyo? Mnaweza kuniharakisha nikaamua kuwataja nyinyi. Eti Kanji nianze nawe siyo?”
Kanji kusikia hivyo anachachawa na kuogopa na kusema: “Sasa Payukaji veve tani baya sana. Badala taja gogo ya dawa anza onea vatu dogo kama mimi?”
Mgosi Machungi naye anaamua akamue: “Waswahii waisema haaka haaka haina baaka na ngoja ngoja huumiza matumbo. Hebu timpe muda Mpayukaji atitajie hawa wahaifu haafu tuwatokee na tiwachome moto kama vibaka au mnasemaje?”
Kaswahili, huyu na Mijjinga ni wanakijiwe wapya waliokuja kutembea, anakamua mic: “Mzee tunakuaminia. Hutafanya kama wale ambao baada ya maunga yao kunaswa Sauzi waliamua kuepusha balaa kwa kuja na sinema ya Shehena Pondwa. Huoni wachovu walivyosahau kila kitu?”
Mijjinga anamuunga mkono Ntayomba, “Tena umenikumbusha. Hivi lile suala la unga uliokamatwa Sauzi zaidi ya Mwakiembe kuwatimua vidagaa limeishia wapi?”
“Unauliza jibu ndugu yangu? Hili shamba la chizi. Nani anakumbuka zaidi ya wahusika kujikita kwenye sinema nyingine kama kutimuana uanachama na upuuzi mwingine?”
Nikidhani kuwa yameisha si Msomi alining’ang’ania. Alisema, “Mzee hebu sasa mwaga mtama basi.”
Mgosi naye alipigilia msumari wa mwisho, “Mpayukaji, kama nilivyosema. Hebu titajie tiende tiwafundishe adabu sasa hivi bila kujai kama ni wakubwa au wadogo. Nina hasia mie tate nane.”
Bila kujivunga nilianza kutaja, “Wauza unga nambari wani wapo pale airpot. wa pili mnawajua. Mliwapigia kura kwenye uchakachuaji uliopita.”
Hata kabla ya kuendelea kila mmoja alipigwa na bumbuwazi asiamini niliyokuwa nimesema.
Mie kuona hivyo niliendelea: “Muuza unga namba moja aaanh tusameheane. Muuza unga namba mbili ni wale wahubiri wanaoibuka wakawa matajiri wa kutupa ndani ya muda mfupi.
Wanajifanya kuhubiri neno la Bwana wakati wanafanya biashara ya maunga. Kwani hamuwajui? Muuza unga namba tatu ni aaaanh mkuuuu lo! Tuyaache. Kigogo wanne ni wale wanaowakingia kifua wakiogopa kuwataja.”
Eti walitaka nitaje wakati kila mtu anawajua. Nendeni muwakamate mateja wawambie wanakopata hiyo kitu au nenda uwanja wa ndege mkaulize wale wanaowaruhusu kila uchao.  Mbona wanawabomu mia mbili wakapate?
We mkatie tau moja uone kama hakupeleki kwa wauza. Mkishindwa si muende ikulu muombe rais awape orodha ambayo amekalia miaka saba.
Kijiwe kikiwa kinanoga si alipita manzi nikamkata jicho na kusahau kila kitu kiasi cha Wanakijiwe kunizomea. Niliamua nijikate kwa maudhi.
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Sept., 4, 2013.

Hebu angalia MPigs wenu wa viti maalum wanavyousaka ubunge kwa wizi na rushwa

Msomaji hebu angalia madudu haya ya wizi wa mchana unaofanywa na anayeitwa mheshimiwa wakati ni mwizi tu wa kawaida. Mbunge wa viti maalum Catherine Magige anatuhumiwa na kukiri kujipatia pesa kwa ajili ya kuwahonga wapiga kura ili wamchague kwenye uchaguzi ujao. Hii ni EPA ndogo ambapo pesa na dhamana ya umma inatumika kutafutia pesa ya kuusaka ubunge. Mchezo wa wabunge hasa wa kuteuliwa kuunda taasisi umeshika kasi kumbe ni janja na njia ya kuchumia pesa kwa ajili ya malengo machafu ya kisiasa. Kwa mbunge kama huyu anayejiuza kwenye makampuni na taasisi za umma akisaka ngawira anaweza kumwakilisha mlalahoi wa kawaida au kuutumia ubunge wake kujiunza kwa wawekezaji na kuwauza watanzania? Je kwa zao la viongozi kama hawa tutafika kweli? Je nini kifanyike kuepuka balaa hili la kitaifa? Tafakarini kwa makini. Maana nyinyi ndugu zenu hata vizazi vyenu ndiyo waathirika na waadhirika wakuu. Kituko: Hebu angalia hicho kiingereza cha refereed to badala ya referred to na kingine cha kubukanya. Si muende shule badala ya kujifanya mnapenda elimu wakati mnaikwepa? Kama unawapenda sana wanafunzi si usomee ualimu badala ya kutuibia kodi yetu huko bungeni ambako nako huna kazi zaidi ya kufukuzia posho ya makalio dada.

Drug barons: Go tell it to the birds Luku-vi

 

 Seriously, Bill Luku-vi, Minister of State in the Big Minister’s Office (Policy, Coordination and Mjengo Affairs) who delivered his government’s mea culpa plea, baffled me. He’s quotes as sayings that many suspected drug barons are honorable. So, for this reason, he couldn't name their names for fear of shaming them. This came to light when MPs jeered at one MP who wanted names of drug barons be made public. As the MPigs, sorry, MPs were busy jeering; the Minister dropped the bombshell that silenced them for once and for all. Instead of pressing on that names be divulged or going on with the biz of jeering at one of theirs, they ended up swallowing their pride.

Three days after Luku-vi dropped the bombshell, Kimdunge Ngumbaru Mwiru ‘bombeshelled’ him saying it is pity and belittling of Luku-vi and his government to conceal those names.  For this reason thus, Luku-vi’s very small before our eyes. Mwiru didn't hide his suspicion of all sorts of sanaa being displayed by Luku-vi and his govt. It’s sad, though, to note that we’re manned by con men and liars. As Mwiru put it, if you truly have the names, just name them. Failure to which, keep you big mouth shut. Who wants tongue wagging and wasting our time? Go tell it to the birds, sir.  Mwaogopa au lenu moja.

The whole smoke and mirrors of naming and shaming drug barons has turned out to be a hoax.  The thing is. There’s no courageous and brave person who can name names. There’s a smoking piece of reality in that this vicious war’s likely to end up becoming yet another charade for sick and outdated politicians to garner votes as it’s for better life for all in 2005. After those who made this broken promise got what they wanted, votes and ulaji, they've never bothered to even explain why they've failed to bring promised- better -life-for–all thing.  By the look of things, this is likely to be the case as far as war on drugs and drug barons is concerned. An in-thing now is raha jipe mwenyewe namely make yourself happy instead of waiting for others (them) to make you happy. This is why some guys are sniffing bwimbwi and smoking marijuana in order to get the happiness as once presider Kikwete advised boozers. So too, those dealing with drugs are aiming at getting money they’ll use to make themselves happy.

 In a simple parlance, you’re responsible for your own better life for all even if the government's nary created any opportunity or conducive environment for you to acquire better life for all. This is why drug dealing and other crimes have nary been dealt with.  If they’re being dealt with is but by whitewashing or witch-hunting just as Luku-vi proved. Again, how many will benefit from these crimes? Can crime bring better life for all or for some connected criminals as it is currently? Those doubting that crimes haven’t been legalized should remind themselves what Luku-vi said. He said that the power that- be has all names of drug barons save that most of those featuring high is the bevy of heshimiwas. What do you expect hither? Kumbe wote nyani doing their monkey business! Acha Kingungwe akuzodoe. Usanii na ubabaishaji vimezidi so to speak.

Let me quote Kingungwe to remind you of what he said, “The problem is that we have administrators and not leaders. Had we had leaders, they'd have been creative. But people at the helm can hardly come up with new ideas. How can we bring change?”  This means. Our rulers are bankrupt and inept when it comes to dealing with problems such as drugs, corruption, accountability and whatnot.  This makes more sense given that it comes from horse’s mouth. I now know why Mr Presider decided to sit on the names of drug barons he said he's for good seven years.

How on earth can one deal with the cavalcade of his colleagues almost in everything?   They’re always together in offering many promises that they openly know they won’t fulfill. In receiving high pay they, too, are together. In forging their fake degrees they’re together. For the person who knows Bill, like his boss Jake, I don’t expect anything meaningful. If they've anything to offer’s nothing but sanaa and all sorts of hoo-has. Those who know the names of drug barons, as everyone knows, should either send them to Keinerugaba Mkombozi or me and see how we’ll brow the covers of those that Luku-vi and his boss have always secured. Given that Luku-vi is an MP who also is alleged to have forged his academic credentials without repudiating, do you think that in drugs they’ll part ways with his colleagues? Go hang if you think so. I know.  Those who don’t benefit from drugs are always teed off. Again, this is the reality. The high and mighty (HM) who benefit hugely from crimes will nary bother with your angers and loss. True, everybody from every nook and corner of the hunk knows that boozers have been sacrificed by the HM.

What agonizes is the fact that all liars have turned boozers into zombies. Remember Dr Mwaki with his sideshows of naming and shaming drug barons? What happened when he came and ended up eating his vomit? Before long, Luku-vi chipped in telling the other side of the story. In other words, Mwaki wanted to take us for a ride saying he’d name names whilst he actually knows that his government's against that. Ironically, the duo is still in the same government! How can they operate as a govt whilst they’re contradicting one another? Thanks to the lack of rule of law and good governance. Such actors would have ended up beings sacked. Again, who is to sack who if all are the same sitting ducks?

Go tell it the bird Luku-vi. Had those involved in drugs being accused of attempting to topple you, would you keep on such ping pong and dillydally sir? 

Source: Thisday Sept., 2, 2013.