During my recent visit in the country of George Kichaka, my wife got a chance to meet with Mrs Obamiza namely Michele. This girl, whose name indicates that her ancestors who were sold to slavery were sukuma had some biz to do with a bevy of women of which my wife was a boss.
As they met in the hotel whose name is top secret, my wife who’s a chief guest, was offered a podium to give a keynote speech. Given that my wife’s a kindergarten teacher, English is one of her enemies. She knows but swanglish or call it bush English. Again, given that she’s the guest, she’d no way to escape the shame of speaking such broken English.
Sweating with flat-out fear, my beloved wife asked her written speech from her aid. Without any hitch, the aid who’s more educated than my wife offered her the speech.
Panickingly, my wife started her speech. She fumbled for her glasses and went on, “Dear Redies and gentile men, I am very much happy to have Misses Obamiza in today. Zerefore, I am asking you to beat your hands (clap hands) to show him our generozity. Dear Michele, I am also Michele of my county and everybody loving me too much to call me mama.”
When my wife’s messing, I was told, her aids were busy hiding their faces to avoid the shame she’s causing.
Then she went on, “Your excellent Misses Obamiza thank you for welcome me in your county. I am very sure we will eat until we said don’t kill me with food.” Mrs Obamiza was shocked and annoyed. Again, as Americans always do, she pretended to smile as if she were happy with all this mess.
My wife went on, “Redies and gentile men, I am happy to tell to his excellent Michele his county is developed all over the world. We first women we are allowed to form companies and NGOs. I have my self NGO called Wanawake na Maulaji Makubwa (WAMAMA). This company, sorry organ, has helping much women. Or so, it helping woman girl to get education. We build schools and put book in there.”
To cut a long story short, I’m told that my memsahib messed to the extent that she’s stopped from making more dent on my reputation. I could sense this that night as she returned to the hotel we’re boarded. Instead of briefing and debriefing me about what had transpired, she came back cold and pissed off. Knowing how Mama Salama Shikwekwe (Shikwekwe is her maiden name which means the beautiful one) reacts when things go wrong, I did not bother to ask her for a briefing. Everybody slept turning to the other direction from another and the night went by.
Jokes alone, how many women even men do we have whose education levels are skinny? How many biggies’ spouses do we've in the hunk that feared the morning dew in that they didn't acquire higher levels of education? How many do think about doing something about this anomaly? How many abuse and squander many opportunities for them to upgrade their education? Again, who bother if power can be used to mint and print money?
After my beloved wife suffered such a big blow during the said occasion, life resumed and normalcy too little knowing that boozers got wind of it and were waiting to crucify me.
After returning back home, I went to the pub to get kanywaji as usual. As I entered, one of the boozers started his insults. He said that he watched his TV set all the time I were in the US of A. He added that he noticed one thing. That is. He saw my wife with Madam Michele Obamiza on CNN. One thing the boozer said wasn't well. He said that my wife wasn't entertained by her guest as she’d do had Mrs Obamiza been in our hunk. He said that he doesn't doubt my wife’s generosity. Save the means of showing it. He said that my wife wasn't able to talk to her host due to what he called Lugha gongana that left other boozers in stitches as I shuffled myself to withstand the humiliation this whole discussion brought to me.
He went on, “I know our Shem is a very smart lady. So too, I know. She’s a teacher by trade. Again, I can’t speculate about her level of education and how much she masters English. Again, given that education has no end and nobody knows everything, methinks she she’d do something about that. He completed this sentence turning to my side as if he’s telling me to go and tell my wife to go back to school.
Before long, I heard one boozer saying that my wife’s a vidudu teacher. I hate this. Given that I respect and love my wife so much that I’m ready to fight any boozer who cracks jokes about her or look down unto her, I was ready to teach this boozer a bitter lesson. Hadn't it been for other boozers to restrain me, I’d have been in the prison waiting to be convicted of murder.
Seeing that boozers were degrading my wife, I told them to their face that education’s nary been anything important in our hunks. I didn't mince words. I just named names of top dogs who are as well uneducated and still are respected and appointed. I mentioned names such as Bill Lukuvi, Emma Nchimbi, Makorongo Muhanga, Marry Nyagu and many more whose names I've forgotten.
Before the dust set, another boozer imitated my wife saying that when Michele had audience with her, he’s told that my wife used to say, “I am Michelle like you of my hunk.” He went on, “My wife who works with top secret organization told me that madam Sal said something that left Michele baffled.”
Guys, message sent.
Soruce: Business Times Oct., 18, 2013.
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